“Wooooohoooooo I'm free!” I yelled out of my window allowing the spring breeze to capture me.
I've been driving for about an hour now and I don't even have a destination in mind.
After stopping at Buc-ee’s, I filled up my car, got some snacks, and went to the ATM.
My phone dinged for the millionth time. Of course it was Tommy. I ignored it just like all the other times.
I don't know how long you plan to be gone but can you bring me some ice cream? Tell Peggy I said hello.
Ha! The nerve of him for asking me to bring him some ice cream and for thinking I am with Peggy. Normally I would be at Peggy's. She is my go-to girl. Peggy and I met when I first started cooking in school cafeterias. She's the one who taught me the ins and outs and kitchen dos and don'ts. I'll never forget how scared I was when I first entered the high school cafeteria. Now I know y’all probably think I'm talking about the kids, but the kids weren't the problem. Those darn line workers are very territorial. Don't try to come in there thinking you'll just fit right on in. No, no, no, that's not how it works. Honey, first of all you gotta be mindful that they want everything done their way, even if you offer them an easier way.
One day while working the line Peggy rescued me from catching a beat down from Emma, a twenty-six-year veteran who almost bit my head off because I gave a student an extra scoop of corn. The child looked like she was starving, so to me it wasn't a big deal. Honey, Emma read me my rights, pointed her gloved finger at me, and told me I bet not ever do that again. Emma fussed at me like I was her child, but Peggy stepped in and assured her that she'd keep a watchful eye on me. Emma was hard as nails, but she whipped me into shape and gave me a recommendation to be over the school in Orchard County.
I was beginning to get sleepy, so I drove another thirty minutes and pulled into the Pleasant Springs Inn On The Creek in Wayland Springs, Texas. I gathered my suitcase and duffle bag and made my way to the Inn's entrance. Before I could make it to the door, a bellhop greeted me.
"Hello, ma'am. I'm Everest. May I take your bags?"
"Yes, you may take my bags." I smiled.
And me too. I mumbled.
"What did you say?"
"Oh nothing, lead the way."
I followed him inside to check in.
Lawd, that boy is fine. Big country fine. Honey nut-brown, he works out every day, lifting trees instead of weights fine. Body just ripped in all the right places. It ought to be against the law to be that fine.
I snapped out of my temporary trance when I heard a chipper, pimple-faced, red- headed middle-aged woman, whose name badge read Sara, ask, "Do you have a reservation?"
"No, I don't have a reservation. I just spotted your location off the I20 exit. Please tell me you have some rooms available."
"Yes, we have a couple of rooms left. Would you like a king or a queen?"
"I'll take a king."
"For how many nights?"
I blank-stared because it just dawned on me that I don't have a plan.
I have no idea how many nights I'll need. What am I really doing?
"I'll take two nights for now. Is it okay if I pay cash?"
"Ma'am, I can take cash, but you still have to have a credit card on file. We won't charge. We’ll only put the $150 accidental fee on hold."
I didn't want Tommy tracking me, so I gave her my pre-paid Spend card that I only use mostly for shopping.
"Alright, you're all set. Your room is down the hall to your left."
I smiled, took my key, and followed Everest to my room. I closed the door behind me and admired my room. The first thing that caught my eye was the chocolate that was on the pillow. You know that statement chocolate makes things better is true. I placed my suitcase in the closet and put my duffle bag on the king-sized bed. I inspected the bathroom and, to my surprise, it had a spa tub. It also had a fifty-four inch flat-screen TV, desk, sofa, microwave, and refrigerator. I was pleased with my room. I changed into my over-sized gown and climbed into the bed and opened one of my chocolate kisses.
Scrolling through the channels I settled on watching The Golden Girls marathon. I could certainly depend on those girls to give me a good laugh.
My phone rang again and this time it was T.J. I declined the call, then Tameka called followed by Tommy. All of them sent a text asking my whereabouts.
I sent them a group text: I am fine.
Tommy immediately texted back.
Whatever I did I'm sorry! Followed by a smiling emoji.
I rolled my eyes at the screen. Classic Tommy, never taking full responsibility for anything. I don't have the energy or the desire to have a conversation with him.
I then turned my phone off and placed it inside the nightstand.
I will deal with them later. I am certain that they can handle themselves without me.
When I got up the next morning and turned my phone on, I had several text messages from Tommy and a couple of messages from Peggy. The last message from Tommy read: Call me or I'm calling the police.
I got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. It was noon so I missed breakfast. I decided to call Peggy so she would not be worried about me.
"Hey, girl, how are you?"
"How am I?"
"Really, Clarice where are you? Why didn't you let someone know where you were going?"
"You had us all worried for God's sake!" Peggy shouted.
I gave her a minute to catch her breath.
"Peggy, I apologize. I should have called you and told you, but it all happened so fast?" I said and sat at the desk.
"What happened?"
"Long story short, I'm fed up and it's time for me to move on. I'm leaving Tommy."
"Moving on, where are you?"
"I'm in Wayland Springs."
"Do you even know anyone in Wayland Springs?”
"No, I don't know anyone here. This is just where I am for now."
"And how long have you been planning this move?"
"I didn't plan it, I just left. I'm sick of always being put on the back burner. Tommy and the kids have drained the life out of me."
"Sounds like you just need a break, a weekend getaway from them, which is fine. But getting a divorce isn't the answer. You just need to clear your head."
"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. Whose side are you on anyway?"
"I'm on the right side. You, my dear, need to pray about it. You need to have a real conversation with your husband and maybe get some counseling so that y’all can work things out."
"Have you even told Tommy how you feel?"
"He knows." I mumbled.
"Clarice, he's not a mind reader. I'm sure if you told—"
"If I told him, he'd do what he always does. He will do right for the moment, and then when he thinks I'm good, he goes back to his old ways. Peggy, I didn't call to hear a lecture. I called just to let you know I'm fine." I spat, cutting her off.
"I have got to free myself. This whole pretend you have a happy life isn’t working for me. I'm not like you."
"What do you mean you're not like me?" She sassed.
"I mean I can't stay in an unsatisfying marriage just to please my kids or because I fear what others will say."
Peggy and Charles got married straight out of high school, and he cheated on her the whole marriage. This is not speculation. She has proof. Their names are Nicole, David, Emily, and Jeff. The man has four outside children by four different women. He and Peggy didn't have any children together. She stayed with him until he died from a massive heart attack. Peggy said his death mimicked the scene from The Color Purple. He died on top of one of his little floozies. Peggy defended him even in his wrong; she said that the enemy had gotten a hold of his mind, and that's what caused him to be wayward in his marriage. She didn’t want the Lord upset with her for getting a divorce.
"I can't believe you're complaining. You have it good. Tommy works, takes care of you, and your only complaint is that he's a little selfish every now and then. Pleeeeeeease give me a break. You’re blessed and don't even know it,” she yelled.
"You think I'm blessed because I have a home, don't have to work, have some children, and a husband. Newsflash, Peggy. My kids are grown, and I can't remember the last time Tommy and I went on a real date. I can't tell you the last time we made love. I don't want to just be married just for the sake of marriage."
"You can't just throw it all away. Pray about it first. Don't you love Tommy?"
The question hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd never admitted to anyone that I was no longer in love with him. The truth of the matter is that I fell out of love with him several years ago.
"I love him, but sometimes love isn’t enough. I feel like I’m falling out of love with him. I've tried my best to get past this feeling, but I can't. I can't walk around thinking that it's going to get better. Ignoring how I really feel. I can't keep neglecting myself."
"So, let me guess. Now you want to go out there and get some young stud to rock your world and that'll solve your problems," Peggy said sarcastically.
"This has nothing to do with another man. This is about me finding me and loving me back to life."
"You're not some young girl in a relationship with a guy who makes you feel butterflies." She half laughed.
"I'm not looking to feel butterflies, but I do have to feel something. I don't have to tell you we're not getting any younger. Every time I look in the mirror, it reminds me. Life is for the living isn't just a statement. I can't go through life feeling like I've pressed the pause button. Now I don't know what's in store for me, but I've got to find out. I refuse to just go through the motions just to please people. This time, girly, I'm choosing me," I said, feeling liberated.
We both held the phone for a minute. I'm sure Peggy was in her feelings, but so was I.
"I'll call you later." I said and hung up the phone, not waiting for her to reply.
I didn't need Peggy trying to tell me what I should do.
I then sent Terry a message.
Me: I'm fine no cops needed!
Husband: Where are you?
Me: Away!
Husband: I know that but where?
Me: It's not important.
Husband: Will you be back by dinner? I have a taste for some smothered pork chops.
Yeah, I got your pork chops. As a matter of fact I can tell you where to stuff those pork chops, buddy boy. I laughed uncontrollably and deleted the message.
I sent both Tameka and T.J. a text letting them know that I'd be gone for a few days, but I was fine. Both texted back K. It truly bothers me that people no longer use complete sentences. There are times when I have to google their replies just so I'll know what they're saying.
I got up from the desk, applied some light make up, and decided to explore the Inn. Today was going to be all about me. Just the thought of that made me smile.