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PELLUS LAY STILL, his eyes closed, enjoying that feeling of mindless peace before the imperfection of things intruded upon him once again. He heard someone enter. He opened his eyes.
“How are you feeling?” Barakiel asked. Pellus stretched a bit and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He blinked and looked around the room, which glowed with a soft pink light. He focused on the warrior.
He shines with power once again. Thank Balance.
“The Sylvan Three have restored you! Have more perfect Covalent ever existed?”
“No, not ever, I would say. But please, Pellus, tell me how you are feeling.”
“Physically, I am intact.” Pellus ran his hands down his sides. “Mentally, I am foggy. Weak. But restored, I think.”
“Good, good.”
“I do not remember anything after the Corrupted raised his sword to take your head. How long have I been unconscious?”
Barakiel told him five turns had passed since the battle.
“Five turns! I must have been nearly dead.”
“You were lost in your own mind. The Sylvan Three returned you to yourself.”
“I do not understand,” Pellus said.
“Neither do I.” Barakiel stared at his feet for a pulse or two. “I want to thank you for saving my life. It was so far beyond your duty that I do not even know how to thank you. You are more courageous than the finest of warriors.”
“Only when it comes to you, Barakiel,” Pellus said. The warrior frowned. He moved his gaze back to his feet and rubbed his forearm.
“Uh, I have asked Roan, your apprentice traveler, to take me home. You need to stay under the protection of the Sylvan Three until you are strong. There will be consequences for saving me.”
“I do not care.”
Barakiel shook his head. He appeared overcome, which made Pellus smile.
It is nice to see that admiration in his eyes.
“The Three have sent for Jeduthan,” Barakiel continued. “You need to be with your mate. Roan can fetch me for my next tour of duty in the Turning. You deserve to have your time to yourself.” He turned to leave after he thanked Pellus once again. Pellus felt a sudden resolve.
I am tired of this estrangement.
“Wait! I am sorry, you know that. I am sorry for what I said about Zan, and for how I have treated you regarding her.”
The warrior ran his hand through his hair. He opened and closed his mouth.
“When are you going to forgive me?” Pellus asked.
Though he faintly smiled, Barakiel remained silent. Pellus could not read his eyes. He looked again like he might leave.
“I miss your friendship,” Pellus blurted.
With his head hung back and his eyes closed, Barakiel exhaled. “I miss your friendship, too,” he said.
“Then forgive me.”
“I will forgive you if you forgive me.”
The Sylvan Three rested in their innermost chamber. Barakiel wished to thank them and take his leave, but he did not know if he was permitted to enter. He asked a servant.
“Of course, fine warrior. The healers’ friends are welcome wherever they may be.”
The chamber walls were covered by undulating vapor of palest yellow. The Three sat naked in the center of a clear, still pool. Curls of steam rose from the water. Barakiel sat on the cushioned floor.
“Healers, I have spoken with Pellus. He is intact, although weak. He knows you have sent for Jeduthan, and that he can stay here for several turns under your protection.”
“Good, Barakiel. We will go to him when we have completed our rejuvenation. That was a bewildering, amazing experience. It has left us exhausted.”
“Yes, it was amazing, Three. I am forever in awe of your power.”
“As we stand in awe of yours. We thought the journey would be a danger to you, but instead, a sea of might appeared before us. We could not see the adept and we were afraid to wander, but then we felt your love. A love that would never allow you to be lost.”
Barakiel smiled with such joy that one of the Three rose from the pool to kneel beside him. She stroked his face with her soft hands.
“We would have asked you to stay here with us awhile, sweet warrior, so we could fill each other with the healing grace of sensual pleasure, but now we know the love you hold within you.”
His whole body tingled at her touch.
What an incredible experience it would be, but still nothing compared to how I feel when I hold Zan.
“Your touch is magic, Three. But yes, I belong to another. I am sorry. I should have told you before.”
“Not to worry. To gain awareness in such a way was a sudden rush of purity, a feeling we will not soon forget.”
“I will certainly never forget the way you felt within my mind. I have never been so grateful. Do you know that? Do you feel it?”
“Yes, Barakiel,” the Three said, as the remaining two joined their sister outside the pool, their delicate bodies entwined.
“You have helped me beyond my capacity to understand. It is more than I deserve.”
“No, it is not.” The Three laid their hands on his arms and shoulders. “Your great power helped us heal our friend, and you do not realize how it feels for us to heal you. We receive as much from you as we bestow. At this moment, energy flows to you and hums all around us. You gather and you give. You are everything a Warrior of the Rising should be.”
Barakiel basked in his good fortune. The Three sat beside him, and they remained in silence.
From the North Terrace, Barakiel admired the light show created by Covalent City’s protective barrier as he waited for Remiel. Debris from a nearby asteroid belt bombarded the transparent force field and Barakiel tried to take heart from the display.
Warriors of the Rising viewed this spectacle as a reflection of themselves. Just as demons fell in battle, asteroids fell against the barrier generated by the warriors’ energy to vaporize in flashes of tangerine light. Travelers might shape the barrier, but the warriors were its origin. On the North Terrace, those of the Rising could feel proud of their duty to protect, but that was hardly how Barakiel felt at the moment.
“Commander.” Barakiel bowed as Remiel approached. “Thank you for meeting me. Please let me tell you how sorry I am. I cost the Realm a brilliant warrior. How can I earn your forgiveness?”
“Fight as you once fought, and you do not need to earn anything from me,” Remiel said as she walked along the terrace railing. “I knew the risk, as did Kemuel. He died fulfilling his purpose. He took the heads of three Corrupted. We will honor him.”
Barakiel kept his head down, his arms hanging at his sides.
“I know what it is like,” Remiel continued, “to watch someone die who was trying to save you. Considering how you lost your mother, I can only imagine how it felt for you to try to save Kemuel and fail. I cannot ease your pain, but I mean what I say. Honor him by throwing your regained Balance in Lucifer’s face.” She put her hand on her warrior’s back. “I look forward to having your sword next to mine.”
“Yes, commander, thank you.” Barakiel fought to maintain his composure. Her compassion made it worse.
“You will return to the Earthly Realm and rest for a time,” Remiel said. “When you are ready for battle, you will fight for Osmadiel, and you will fight beside me. Devote yourself to this added duty. It will cleanse you. I will give some thought to the price you must pay for breaking Covalent Law, but I will keep your secret.”
“Thank you, commander,” Barakiel said, his head still bowed.
“Hold your head up, warrior! And stop calling me commander. Sometimes you are so strange, Barakiel! If you want to be punished, I will punish you, but I am your friend and I know who you are.”
Barakiel raised his head and held Remiel’s fierce black eyes so she would know he understood.
Philadelphia
As Zan drove through the evening traffic, part of her wished she had an excuse to stay at work so she could keep her mind off Rainer. He’d been gone for ten days and she hadn’t heard a word. She cursed herself for agreeing to house sit. It was worse, waiting surrounded by his things. During the day, she managed to keep herself together, but at night she felt his absence like a sickness. She barely slept, convinced that something horrible had happened. She needed him close again. She pulled into the compound and contemplated driving right back out.
I could call the guys in the band. We could practice.
Anger pinned Zan to the driver’s seat when Rainer walked out the front door. He stood some distance away, staring at her. She got out and glared for a few seconds before her words poured out in a rush.
“Okay, I know you had no way to communicate, but why didn’t you call me as soon as you got home? What the fuck? What. The. Fuck? You can’t ever do that to me again. I was worried sick and I missed you. You were depressed and I worried and I missed you and it’s not fair. You can’t just leave me here not knowing what’s happening with you. It was too hard, you can’t do that to me—”
“Zan. Zan, stop.” He rushed over to take her face between his hands. “Look at me. Look at me!” She stopped talking.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I wanted to surprise you. I’m better, Zan. I’m better.”
Your eyes. You’re happy. You’re more than happy.
Rainer put his face close to her cheek and breathed in before he crushed his mouth to hers in a kiss so filled with longing it made her dizzy.
“My love.”
“Don’t ever leave me like that again.”
“No,” he whispered. He picked her up and carried her through the door, up the stairs and to the back balcony, where the light had taken on the tinge of sunset. He sat down with her on his lap and ran his hands over her face, his lips close to her skin. He kissed her, again and again, sometimes pausing with his lips held against her, not moving, just breathing. He unbuttoned her shirt, slowly, spreading the fabric aside as he went, exploring her shoulders, licking the furrows in her flesh. He wound his arms behind her, his hands spread wide to hold her.
He stood up and took off her clothes, then his, gazing at her with grateful eyes. The slight, warm breeze felt luxurious against her skin.
I don’t understand, but I feel grateful, too.
When they were both naked, he pressed her against the railing with his body, stroking and caressing. She swore she could still feel his touch after he had moved his beautiful hands to a different spot, as if she could remember his touch like it was a fact or a figure.
“Mmmmm, Zan.” He sucked on her neck and rolled his hips against her, as hard as she was wet. As she was hungry.
“I love you,” he said. “I was so afraid I had nothing left to give you.”
A soft chirp escaped her, but she couldn’t form any words. Rainer perched her on the railing. He gently pushed into her, his hands on her ass, her arms around his neck. When he’d filled her, he pressed her closer and circled within her, ever so slowly, his mouth on hers. She felt like she was inside Rainer as he was inside her, her perception thick and gauzy. She felt like his full, soft lips were asking her a question. She didn’t know what the question was, but she wanted to say yes anyway.
Yes yes yes yes yes.
Her orgasm unfolded like a slow bloom. For the longest time, she felt sweetness pouring out of her as she murmured love in his ear. He didn’t stop. He kept moving within her, bringing her to climax over and over until the sun had set and Zan felt so relaxed that she laid her head against him and fell asleep.
The moonlight falling on your face as you sleep stirs something deep within me, a feeling of reaching toward perfection and knowing that one day, I will understand it. One day, I will understand how you came for me. How you protected me from him. How you Balance me.
Everything I am resonates with the power of my love for you. I want to tell you what I am, but I do not know if it is right. Would it be selfish for me to tell you? Dangerous? What if everything Pellus says is true? My dishonesty has robbed you of your choices. It may make you a target, yet I cannot stop. I do not want to stop. Every instinct I have tells me I should not walk away from such a love.
I want to give you everything. I want to take you to my world and kiss you beneath a tapestry of a billion stars. I want to fill you with my energy.
But I am afraid. I have lied to you. So many lies. Will you find me incomprehensible?
I just want to love you. We are happy. May I love you now? For a little while? The poison filled me such a short time ago. I need you. You cleanse me.
I will tell you. Soon. Once I am sure that I can keep you safe. Be patient with me. Please do not be angry with me, my love.