A cheery tune rang as my phone lit up on the night table. It vibrated in a lazy circle as I reached for it. Mom wasn’t back yet, so it could have been her calling to check in. I glanced at the clock. Three in the morning? I frowned. Good news never arrived at this time. My stomached dipped as I answered.
“Hello?” I whispered the word, so as not to disturb Adrius still asleep next to me.
The line cracked and popped. Horrible reception. Strange, considering my mother was only an hour away. I’m not sure if I heard every word the person on the other end was saying, but a wave of dread ripped through me. I felt separate from everything happening, separated from myself. The unrecognizable voice on the phone, even my dimly lit room seemed like it was not really here… surreal. “Fire?” I heard myself say. “The Lemon Balm?”
The voice continued.
“There’s something else…” The voice sounded hollow, grave, and void of life. “It’s Neil McFarlane. He inhaled a lot of smoke, and they couldn’t reach him in time. He... I’m sorry, but he’s dead.”
****
Slumped in the passenger seat of Adrius’ car, we whipped down the wet streets. I chewed my thumbnail until there was no nail left to chew. Pulling into the parking lot, I heard the vague sound of screeching brakes… the cutting engine. They all seemed so far away. I was lost, falling blindly through foggy abyss in my mind. The parking lot should be empty. It was the middle of the night. Instead it was crowded. Fire trucks, more than we had here in town. Police. Ambulance. Coroner. My mother’s jeep. People everywhere. The quiet apathetic townsfolk had pulled themselves from their beds to gawk. Someone patted my arm. Mumbled something. An apology maybe. Why? This wasn’t their fault. I stared in disbelief at the smoking remains of my grandmother’s café. Then the view was cut off, as I was surrounded by officers I’d never met before. One flashed a badge. They weren’t from here. I gulped in a breath, and blew it out slowly.
There were questions. Endless questions. They wanted to know where I was, what I was doing, who I’d been with. They didn’t believe I had nothing to do with the fire in the woods. The fire in the café. The phone call that brought Neil here in the middle of the night.
They’d spoken to Abby’s mother. And Abby. There were photos of me, standing next to the blaze.
I had no back up. No alibi. And I’d been the last one at the scene.
Gran’s café.... a crime scene. “Arson,” they’d said.
Neil received the phone call that brought him to the Lemon Balm at 3 a.m. The explosion came shortly after. A phone call they insisted had come from me. I searched around my bag for my phone. Gone. I had it earlier. When? The hours blurred, one into the other.
Who had prepared the tea Neil drank? The one that left him paralyzed but conscious while his body burned to ash?
More questions. I began to shake.
“Answer us,” they demanded. Only I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to. Because there were no words left inside me. There was nothing. I was empty. Hollow.
Then Adrius was at my side, and the trembling slowed. I could breathe again, short shallow breaths. It was a start. The world slowly began to whir back to life, and I could form words and speak them. Put them together in short sentences that were semi coherent. I had to tell them where I was. “I wasn’t at Abby’s. I was with Adrius.”
My mother’s face fell. The hurt and shock I saw surpassed every level of disappointment I’d ever witnessed in those blue eyes. I’d never seen her look at me with such resentment, such accusation, as though my spending the night with him was somehow the cause of the fire. As though I was to blame... for everything. An admission of guilt for all sins committed. Why had I called for him? What did I say? My mother quietly demanded to know how I could do this to her. How could I lie to her face? “She could be guilty,” someone whispered. “She obviously lies.” Adrius insisted they let me rest for a moment. They took his name. “Arson.” “Accomplice?” Sirens wailed. I wanted to also, but I was too numb. Frozen inside. State police and investigators would be called in. The fire had taken a life. Neil’s life. The anesthetizing chills returned. And despite my mother’s white hot anger and Adrius’ warm embrace, I trembled uncontrollably.
I was having an out-of-body experience. It was odd to feel so disconnected from the reality surrounding me, but I wanted to stay that way. Because I knew that eventually I would slam back into myself and things would pick up where they left off. Neil would still be dead. The café, gone. I would still be the one they were looking to for answers while they pointed in blame.
My mother took me home. She told Adrius to stay away.
Sirens faded.
People dispersed.
Quiet returned.
Hours passed.
I walked back to the place my final nightmare had occurred. The place where Venus had taken the last piece of my heart. The ruffled edge of my white nightgown dragged through the mud. The thin strap slipped from my shoulder. I let it fall, as the soft rain fell and soaked through the thin fabric.
I stepped over shards of broken glass. Only then did I notice I didn’t have shoes. Barefoot, I walked across debris. The pain couldn’t reach me. The front of the café had been decimated, crippled beyond repair. Like my soul.
The walls of the Lemon Balm Cafe weren’t buttery yellow anymore. They were black. Charred with peeling paint like flaking skin. Molten metal and twisted melted upholstery remained where booths and tables used to be. I can't believe, looking at it now that this was where I first saw Adrius. The look that stole my breath away. The air, once fragrant with the aroma of hearty food and sumptuous desserts now burned my lungs with the stench of ash and smoke. This is where everything started. Where I fell in love. Where I first felt the subtle pull of destiny. Where I was fated to lose my heart forever.
Now it was gone. All of it. Nothing remained but the smoky ruins of what once was.
Adrius found me there. My mother had called him and asked for his help. I was sitting on the ground, with my knees tucked under my chin. He lifted me into his arms, and carried me to his car. I twisted the blackened edges of my nightgown around my fingers, as he drove silently back to his house in the forest.
It was close to dawn when he put me to bed.
I slept then, but it was not restful. Dark haunting nightmares choked me until I resurfaced in the harsh morning light. The sunlight streaming through his window was too bright. It was insensitive for it to shine so brightly during such a dark time.
I heard my cell phone ring. Once. Four times. A dozen. I rolled over and tugged the sheets up over my head.
When I'd left the café my last time there, the thought that I'd never step foot inside it again would never have entered my mind. It should have. I blamed myself for that. I should have anticipated the level of evil I was dealing with. The lengths she was willing to go for what she wanted. How could good triumph against so much evil? I would never be willing to risk so much. So many innocent lives to be rid of her. I was numb for a long time. And then. I wasn't. A slow burn replaced the cold. A searing hatred that grew strong every second. My tears boiled dry. Rage pushed my sadness aside and took over, coloring my mind with one singular thought. Revenge. She would pay for what she'd done. I wanted justice. I wanted payback. I wanted her gone. And for a moment I saw a glimpse of the way she saw the world. Because in that moment I would have stopped at nothing to get what I wanted. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I swallowed it, preferring it to the sweetness of false hope.
“You’re awake.” Adrius came into the room with a silver tray. He set it next to the bed, studying me with concerned eyes.
I glanced at the tray… steaming tea, toasted bagel, herbed cream cheese.
He sat on the edge of the bed next to me. “I called your mother,” he said quietly. “I assured her you were safe here. She sounded relieved, but she thinks you should talk to someone, other than me.”
I didn’t respond.
He took the mug of tea and handed it to me, gently wrapping my fingers around the cup. “Drink. You’ll feel better.”
I did as I was told. After two sips I set the cup down and slumped back against the pillows. My eyes drifted shut to block out the light.
By talk to someone, my mother meant Greenbalm. She thought therapy might pull me from this black hole abyss I was falling into. Thankfully he was still nowhere to be found. Not that I wished him any harm, but another stint on a psychiatrist’s couch, pretending he wasn't an exiled elven royal and I wasn't the incurable mess that I was would push me over the edge, not pull me back from it.
No.
There was only one way to be free of my spiral into darkness.
One way for this nightmare to end.
Venus had to die.