When I opened my eyes again, we were in my chambers. Zanthiel sat next to me on the edge of my bed. Snow dusted the floor around us. Flames spiraled from floor to ceiling in the center of the room.
“How long have I been out?”
“Long enough. Here.” He handed me a bowl of porridge dotted with winter berries.
I gobbled it quickly, not realizing how hungry I was. “How’s your mother?”
His mouth quirked. “Awake. And angry. But well, otherwise.”
I winced. “I’m sorry, I had to do it. She would have killed everyone, trying to find where you’d gone.”
He rose and handed me some water. “At least you’re safe.”
I nearly laughed. “You mother will never let me live. I’ve drugged her and lied to her. She hated me to begin with, you think this is going to win me any points?”
“She believes you are her future daughter and heir to the throne of Faery. She wants you on her side so she can control you. She’s not going to try to have you killed.”
I doubted that. She may have secret plans for me, but once I’d popped out a child or two, that would be it. She’d have everything she needed to twist the future of Faery in her favor. And I would be as dispensable then as I’d been all along. It didn’t matter what she did or didn’t have planned for me. I had no intention of sticking around long enough to figure it out. I handed him the empty bowl.
“I have convinced her that we will return, once we’ve retrieved King Oberon’s crown and received King Etienne’s pardon. She knows that only then can you be truly safe, and she needs you to be safe.”
I nodded and climbed out of the bed. There were so many things that could go so wrong between now and then.
“I need to know, Lorelei. When Mab trapped you in the shadow of dark whispers, what did you tell her?”
I frowned. Why did he want to know that? It was days ago. “Nothing. I told her nothing.” I shrugged. Even as I said it, I felt my face flush. He already knew the truth. “It was just a lot of stuff everyone keeps hidden inside. Fear, loathing, lust. Stuff like that.”
He stared into my eyes, challenging, his lips on the verge of a smile. “Lust?”
I nodded. Then rolled my eyes.
“But not for Adrius? At least, not solely for him.” He knew the answer even before he asked the question.
I looked away, but his hand on my chin brought my gaze back to his.
“None of that matters, Zanthiel. It was all an illusion… my body reacting to a weird dark energy that meant nothing at all.”
I tried to shrug it off, but the look in his eyes said my attempts weren’t working.
“Shouldn’t we be focused on our next move, now that we’ve got the key?”
He kept his gaze on mine until I started to squirm under the intensity of it. “I wish you’d stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” His gaze dropped to my mouth.
“You know like what. Like you want to—“
The words were cut off as his lips touched mine. Cold swept into me, sliding into every corner of my body. A moment later it was over.
Zanthiel moved away, distancing himself from me on the bed.
I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no words.
We remained there, eyes locked, as a weighty silence filled the space between us.
I climbed out of the bed and shivered. “You shouldn't do that.”
Finally his voice broke through the unbearable quiet. “You saved my life, and as you pointed out, I didn’t thank you. Consider that a token of my gratitude. I won’t again, unless you ask me to.”
I nodded mutely and touched my finger to my lips. They still held the lingering touch of cold.
I fumbled with the laces of my gown, tightening them and arranging my skirts. “We have to move if we’re going to reach my father in time to make any difference at all. Once we have his crown, we can head to the Mythlandria for the pardoning ceremony and announce our—” I could barely think the words.
“Engagement,” he finished my sentence, eying me skeptically. Facing me, he handed me my sword. “The only way we are going to convince the monarchs of the Nevermore that our union is strong, is for them to believe it is what we both truly want.”
“I know. I’m trying.”
He strode over to me and took my hand. I didn’t pull back. “It won’t be enough to try, Lorelei. You must make them believe it. You must make me believe it. Only then will you be safe.” His eyes narrowed and he dipped his head forward. “Can you do this?”
“Yes.” I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Because if there is any part of you that doubts you can persuade them that we are in love, it is best if we know now and devise another plan.”
There were no other plans. That was why we were where we were. “I can do this,” I repeated, this time more convincingly.
“Good. I almost believed you that time,” he said. Then he lifted my hand to his lips and placed a brief cool kiss on my knuckles. “The hour grows late. We should go.”
****
Queen Mab met us as we were mounting our horses in the stables. She was alone, and seeing her not surrounded by the dozen or so guards she usually traveled with put me on edge.
“I do not understand why you must accompany the girl to see her father.”
“I know that you don’t, Mother.” Zanthiel barely glanced at her as he continued to ready the horses.
Mab frowned, not accustomed to being ignored. “I trust you will keep your vow to me, son.”
She didn’t address me, which was probably for the best, considering.
“I extend all the same courtesies you extend to me, Mother.” He helped me onto my white steed. Then he swung his leg over his mount, and turned the horse to face his mother.
“I do not like us parting this way, with you so angry with me.” She wrung her hands together, looking the part of a concerned parent. Something we both knew she wasn’t.
I stayed silent, not wanting to make things worse. Mab wanted us to come back, and I couldn’t figure out why. What did she hope to gain with Zanthiel and me in power? If any of this did come to pass, and we were the rulers of Faery, she had to know we wouldn’t let her control us. Or use us for her own gain. My horse trotted to the side, growing restless.
Mab gazed up at her son. “Everything I have done I did to keep you safe. You must know this.”
“I do, but it does not change anything. We will return, but Lorelei is with me. You cannot threaten her life again. If you do, you will lose me permanently, and in so doing lose any power you believe our union will grant you.”
Mab stepped back, and her eyes grazed me briefly. “What is it about her? Why this girl?”
“She is special.”
“No. You are special. She is a fool and she is going to get you killed if you continue to stay by her side. Stop being her puppet. Return to your kingdom, Zanthiel. Your place is here with your people.”
His volume rose and there was a hard edge to his voice. “My place, Mother, is with her. By her side for as long as she needs me. Now step aside, we need to pass. Unless you prefer we ride over you.”
The walls enclosing the stable trembled. Small rocks and gravel tumbled to the ground, kicking up frost as they landed. I pulled the feathered hood of my cloak up over my head and tucked in my hair. Beneath my cloak a dragon scale vest was layered over my gown. Zanthiel thought it best not to tax my healing powers while we traveled. The trod to the Shadow Court was a short ride, but he wanted to ensure I arrived in one piece and unharmed. Had the daggers shooting from his mother’s glare been real, I might have already been dead, dragon scale or not. But Mab finally stepped to the side to allow us to pass.