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“I’m so happy that the two of you are working things out,” Anna said, as they were walking the corridors to stretch their legs. “I’ve always felt a bit bad for him when Valdemar and I have been there. There has always been something lonely about him,” Anna shared, her voice growing sad at the memory of it. “But not anymore,” she quickly added in a lighter tone of voice.
Maria nodded and couldn’t help but smile. Last night with Anna and Valdemar had been lovely, but the night afterwards had been amazing. She wondered how long this could go on.
She hadn’t told Jonathan that she had been spying on him. Maria bit her lip as she thought about it. She should at some point, she knew. It would be better that it came from her than from Gustaf, it was just... They were so happy right now, and it had just been three days. She really didn’t want to ruin everything right now.
“Well, I’ve certainly come to understand why you like him so much,” Maria said, because she felt that she needed to say something.
Anna looked at her for a moment.
“I’m glad,” she said. “He really is a fine man.”
She paused for a second.
“Not many people know him really well, but the ones that do, usually stay loyal to him,” she went on. “Loyalty is extremely important to him, but it almost goes without saying, doesn’t it?”
They were about to turn a corner, when they almost bumped into Jonathan who was walking towards them.
“I was just looking for you,” he said to Maria. He was out of breath and had a wild look in his eyes. Not desire, but anger. Maria could feel herself go cold. Then she saw the letter in his hands. “Come with me, please.”
Even though he said please, he still grabbed her hand as if to make sure that she would follow him. They walked down the corridor to Jonathan's rooms in a hurry. He let go of her and gave her the letter right away.
“Here, read this,” he said and walked towards the window. He kept standing there with his back to her. Maria sat down and started reading. It was a letter from Gustaf. The tone was very formal. He wrote that it had come to his attention that their marriage had finally been consummated and that he wished King Jonathan every happiness with his sister.
Maria looked at the front and back of the short letter as if to find some kind of hidden clue, but there were none.
“This is...” she began but didn’t know what to say. “He can’t be back home. It takes a letter at least three days to reach us there,” she then said and sat down.
Jonathan turned from the window and walked towards the chairs, sitting down opposite her.
“Maria,” he said, looking straight into her eyes. “I’m only going to ask you once: Did you tell him?”
“About the consummation?” Maria almost stammered as she said it.
Jonathan nodded.
“No,” Maria said firmly. She didn’t want to let Jonathan know right now.
She didn’t break eye contact with him while he looked penetratingly at her for a moment longer then leaned back in his chair.
“I believe you,” he said. “I’m sorry, but I had to make sure that it wasn’t you, that I could trust you.”
“I don’t know how Gustaf knows about this,” Maria said.
“I’m glad that you don’t,” Jonathan said. “I’m going to get to the bottom of how Gustaf found out, but I’ll spare you the details.”
Maria nodded, her mouth feeling dry. She should have told him. It had been her opportunity, and now she’d missed it. If he had looked into her eyes and thought that he saw the truth, only for her a moment later to tell him that she had lied... He would never trust her again.
“We knew that Lord Helmholdt would find out about our... union at some point,” Jonathan said and reached for her hand. “I just thought that it would take longer.”
Maria nodded and looked at his hand holding hers.
“I can see that you are upset,” Jonathan said gently.
Maria nodded again, feeling tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She should have told him. He was so good. He might have been able to forgive her if she had told him before.
“I’m so sorry,” she began, but then burst out crying. She pried her hand from his grip and covered her eyes with them. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’ll try to compose myself, I know that men hate it, when women cry.”
“Maria,” Jonathan said gently. She could feel how he kneeled in front of her and put his arms around her. “Tell me what is going on.”
Maria shook her head unable to say anything in that moment. She couldn’t bear it if he turned cold towards her again. She had just started to learn what it was like when he was kind. She couldn’t have him ignore her again. She shook her head again.
She raised her head to look at him. His eyes were filled with concern.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, her voice hoarse and rough. “It’s just...” she stroked his cheek, looking at her hand, not his face. “It’s just...” she said again and sighed. “It’s just that we’ve been in a bubble, I guess. And Gustaf was far away, but now...”
She looked into his eyes now.
“I’m with you, Jonathan. I’m loyal to you now. But it still hurts...”
“He’s your brother,” Jonathan simply said and pulled her close to him. Maria could only guess at the amount of strength required for him to comfort her when she cried about his enemy. Or when he thought that she did.
***
Maria hadn’t thought that she could be so happy. The next couple of weeks felt like they were flying by, and she was effectively able to push all thoughts of Gustaf aside. Perhaps nothing would happen. Perhaps Jonathan would never know.
She certainly hoped so. No one had made her feel this way before. She had liked her other husbands, but this was different. This was... she almost didn’t dare think the word, but this could be the love, that she’d longed for all along. The love she had seen between Gustaf and Margaret, between Peter and Eleanor and Anna and Valdemar.
It was where every moment apart felt like a physical pain, and she couldn’t think of anything else but Jonathan until they were together again. It was like insanity, and yet it was perfection at the same time.
If she woke before him, she would watch him sleep, and when he woke up, he would be both annoyed and flattered that she had been staring at him.
When Jonathan had time and the weather allowed it, they would go riding together, often their guards would find it difficult to follow them or they would simply ditch them to be on their own, laughing giddily the entire time.
Jonathan showed her all of his favorite places around the castle, and they found ways to be together in as many as possible.
In the evening they would have a lively chatter at dinner often including both Valdemar and Anna. The two had stopped teasing them, although Anna couldn’t help commenting how nauseatingly besotted they were, when she and Maria were alone. And all Maria could do was smile. Because they were totally obsessed with each other. Jonathan might not have told her that he was in love with her, but she was very sure that he was.
Christmas brought a whirl of celebrations. They handed out food and coins to the poor during the day and ate, drank, and partied during the night. If they had any time to spare, they would usually meet Anna and Valdemar in Jonathan’s common room and talk or play games.
Every night they would spend in Jonathan’s bed. Maria didn’t even bother going to her own bed chamber any more.
“This is too good to be true, isn’t it?” Maria couldn’t help but ask Jonathan over and over again. Each time he would kiss her, saying:
“I really hope it isn’t.”