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“There’s no way that that is possible! You know that, Jonathan, right?” Valdemar was pacing the floor of the tent as he spoke. Jonathan sat with an elbow on the table and his head resting in his hand.
“Yes,” Jonathan said. “But we’ve just reconciled, and I feel like I will do anything for her...”
He drew the cloak tighter around his neck. Having to camp in January was just one of the many nuisances of going to war with Lord Helmholdt.
“You can’t spare Lord Helmholdt. If he is left alive, there will be no end to it. Even if we capture him, his supporters will try to free him...” Valdemar gesticulated insistently as he spoke.
“I told her that,” Jonathan interjected, only able to see Maria’s sad face before his eyes.
“... or they will start a rebellion,” Valdemar went on as if he hadn’t heard Jonathan.
“I said that as well,” Jonathan said, looking at Valdemar’s pacing feet.
“How can she be that naïve?” Valdemar stopped and looked at him. “Doesn’t she realize what her brother will do to you if he catches you?”
Jonathan sighed and buried his head in both his hands, rubbing his eyes with his palms.
“I know,” Jonathan said. “And I think she knows too...”
Maria was smart. She was just completely blind when it came to her brother. Jonathan hadn’t considered that she could actually love him. A brother that had used her as a pawn. A brother that she had sought her freedom from so desperately that she had been willing to turn against him. But obviously it didn’t matter. And Jonathan guessed that no matter how much Valdemar wronged him, he would probably still love him too.
“Where is she now?” Valdemar asked.
“She’s in the commander-in-chief’s tent.”
“She should stay there. And you should stay here. You can’t let her persuade you to let Lord Helmholdt live - and she very well could.” Valdemar said the last part with a half-smile.
Jonathan knew that he was glad that they had reconciled.
“I know,” Jonathan said again. But he couldn’t help but feel like a coward when he went to bed alone.
***
“Maria?” Jonathan gently stroked her cheek. He had waited a moment before he woke her just to enjoy watching her sleep. He knew that she used to do that with him. She always woke first when they shared a bed.
“Maria?” Jonathan asked again and she started to wake. “Let’s not fight again,” he said as she stretched and rubbed her eyes. “We’re not going to agree on this, are we?”
Maria shook her head.
“No, we’re not,” she said. There was a sadness in her dark brown eyes that Jonathan desperately wanted to be rid of.
“I wish there was another way, but there isn't,” he said and found one of her hands still resting under the covers. The warmth of her body was alluring, and he wanted to crawl under the covers, even though he knew that some of his men were waiting to take her back to Haraldsborg.
He could tell that Maria was about to say something, but instead she bit her lip.
“I’m sorry. We just agreed not to talk about it - and then I did,” Jonathan said and squeezed her hand. Hoping desperately that she would squeeze his back as a small sign that everything would be okay between them. Somehow. She did and he almost sighed with relief.
They looked at each other for a moment before Maria sat up in bed.
“You have to come back,” she said and stroke his cheek with her free hand. “You cannot die...”
Jonathan put his arms around her, and she leaned her head against his shoulder.
“I will,” he said. “Of course I will.”
***
Jonathan had followed her to the carriage, and she was taken back to Haraldsborg. Maria looked at the castle looming in the horizon. When she had first seen it with Gustaf, she had had no idea that she would actually fall in love with the man that she was about to marry. At that time, she had been fine with the fact that Gustaf wanted to kill him, and she had thought very little about him wanting to kill her brother. Now it was all that she could think about.
None of them could die. That was the only thing that she was sure about. But since they were so determined that the other had to die in order for them to gain or remain in power, she would have to think of something brilliant in order to save her brother.
Jonathan seemed unable to be convinced - and there was no point in trying to convince Gustaf. She wanted Jonathan to succeed. She knew that he would be the best king. He was loyal to his people and would put their needs before his own.
Truth be told, she wasn’t sure about Gustaf’s judgement anymore. His mind had been clouded by the desire to be king at all costs for so long that she wasn’t sure that he actually had given any thought to how he would rule. And if there was anything that Maria had learned it was that it took a skilled person to do so. And Jonathan was that person. Maria knew it in her heart.
She drew the curtain away from the window to let as much air in as possible. Her stomach hurt and she gulped in some fresh air. It seemed to help her. She wasn’t in too much pain for her mind not to wander though.
The question would be how she could save her brother. The only way she could think of where it could end well for all, was that Gustaf was captured alive and kept in prison for life. Royal prisoners could live a good life. Jonathan could grant him a small house where he could live with Margaret - under guard of course. Or they could be exiled. But still, that must be better than him being dead, right?
She needed to warn him about Jonathan's plan. Maria could see no other option. If Gustaf knew that he needed to look out for Valdemar and his small squad that would try to assassinate him, he might have a chance. Maria had no way of preventing him from dying on the battlefield, and she felt sick to her stomach about it, but at least she could warn him now.
She would write a letter to Margaret as soon as she got back to the castle. She just hoped that the message would reach Gustaf in time.
***
Maria’s heart felt lighter than the thin, crisp frosty air she was breathing. Arabella was trotting at a speed that made it difficult for the horses of the guards to keep up with her. Maybe she could feel Maria’s excitement – or maybe Arabella was simply looking forward to seeing Fafner. Maria couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of their horses being in love. Jonathan would find that amusing too, she knew that.
Jonathan had sent for her to meet him at a church close to the battlefield. For two weeks she hadn’t heard anything from him. The only news she had gotten was the general news that reached the court. She knew from that, that Jonathan was fine, and that no real battle had taken place yet. There had been some minor clashes between the two armies but nothing of importance.
Anna always told her it was good when they heard no news. If anything major were to happen they would learn about it right away. Anna had been a great support through the last two weeks. Maria didn’t know how she would have gone through them without her. They spent most of their time together, except for when they were sleeping. It was such a comfort always to have someone close by to reach out to when Maria needed to hold someone’s hand.
Maria caught the first glimpse of the church where they were meeting. It was a village church on a hilltop that could be seen from a rather large distance. It looked small in the barren frosty landscape. She couldn’t see any horses or men. Maybe Jonathan wasn’t there yet.
Her heart skipped a beat when she thought that he might be detained by a battle. What if something happened to him before they had a chance to talk? They had left everything so unfinished last time they met. She just wanted to feel his arms around her again.
When Maria and her group got nearer, she could see another group of men and horses arriving from the other side of the hill. It had to be him. He was fine then!
The group of men reached the church first and she could see them dismount. One of them, Jonathan, she recognized him by the dark green cloak, went inside the church. It wasn’t exactly the place she would have chosen for a rendezvous, but it would have to do. When it came down to it, she was too eager to see him to care that much about the location he had chosen.
Maria jumped off the horse on her own when they were outside the church. She rushed to the door eager to meet him. The men standing outside bowed in greeting to her.
“Your Majesty,” one of them said and stepped forward. Lord Rosenkranz. There was something hollow about his face. It had to be because of the cold and the lack of sleep.
Maria’s body screamed to just ignore him and rush past him.
“Yes?” she prodded.
Maybe he wanted her to give a message to the lady he had been looking at back at court. Maria didn’t know who. She should ask Anna about it when she got back. Anna always knew who was in love with who.
“There is something you need to know...” Lord Rosenkranz said.
He was interrupted by Jonathan’s commander-in-chief who stepped between them.
“The king wished to see the queen right away,” he said and grabbed hold of Maria’s upper arm. The grip was a bit too tight and not at all how a nobleman was supposed to handle a lady, let alone the queen.
“Yes, but...” Lord Rosenkranz began.
“Rosenkranz, I’m warning you,” the commander-in-chief said and opened the church door and almost shoved Maria inside.
There was something wrong, Maria realized when he closed the door behind her and she stood in the semi-dark, quiet church. There hadn’t been that much sound outside, but there had been the wind and the horses. Now it was completely silent.
Maria gulped and almost felt that it echoed through the church. Had Jonathan found out about her letter to Margaret? She knew that he would be mad if he did. But surely, he would understand as well. He loved Valdemar just as much as she loved Gustaf.
Jonathan hadn’t shown himself when she had entered the church. He had to have heard her come in though. Maria took a few steps up the aisle looking for him. She said his name, but he didn’t respond. There was definitely something wrong. She had thought that he had been looking forward to seeing her just as much as she had been looking forward to seeing him.
“Jonathan?” she said again.
“Down here,” came his voice.
She almost sighed with relief and turned in that direction. He was standing in a small chapel, built as an annex to the main church. He was looking at something lying on the floor.
“Jonathan...” she said breathlessly and rushed to be beside him.
When he didn’t turn around to face her, she stopped a couple of paces away. There was definitely something wrong. Now that she was close to him, she could see how tense his whole body was underneath the dark green fur lined cloak.
“Jonathan?” she said in a low voice.
He turned slowly but there was no sign of love, no sign of even recognizing her in his eyes. Maria was so shocked by his expression that she backed up several paces. For a moment she just stared at his face. He seemed to be looking at a complete stranger.
“Jonathan?” she said again, taking a step forward, unsure what to do.
He took a step to the side and suddenly she could see what he had been looking at. It was a body. The body of a young man lay before him in the small chapel.
“How could you do this?” Jonathan whispered. He took another step closer. “Or maybe I shouldn’t be surprised? This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” He was standing right in front of her now. “Your plan – or your brother’s, wasn’t it?” He shouted the last question, his voice echoing through the church.
Maria closed her eyes, as if she could shield herself from his angry words that way.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said as calmly as possible.
Who was that on the floor? She had thought that he would be angry at her for sending the letter to Margaret, but not this angry.
“You don’t...” Jonathan said in a low voice. “You want me to believe that you really don’t know anything about this?”
He grabbed her wrist and dragged her the last few paces into the chapel. Maria had to open her eyes to make sure that she wouldn’t fall on the steps. When she stood over the body as Jonathan had done right before, she recognized him immediately. It was Valdemar. His eyes were closed, and he looked serene, but there was something off about the color of his skin. It was too pale.
It slowly dawned on her why. He was dead.
Poor Anna, was Maria’s first thought. Then she turned to look at her husband. His face was an expressionless mask. Of course that was why he looked like that. Why he was acting this way? He wasn’t angry, he was devastated by grief. She turned to him, trying to embrace him with her free arm. He was still holding on to her wrist rather tightly.
“Jonathan, what happened?” she whispered.
“You tell me,” Jonathan said in a voice she had never heard him use before. So full of rage and sorrow, that he sounded like a different person. “They clearly knew about Valdemar’s group of men...”
Maria placed her hand over her mouth, fearing what he was going to say next.
“I’ve heard that you wrote to Lady Helmholdt recently,” he said as if he had guessed her thoughts.
“But...” Maria began, but had no words to continue. She had never wanted Valdemar to die. She had never thought it possible that it would be the outcome of her actions. She grabbed his cloak with her free hand, trying to make him turn and look at her, as she tried again to explain.
“I just wanted to warn Gustaf. You wanted to kill my brother and I couldn’t let that happen, I needed to warn him, you have to understand that. I never wanted anything to happen to Valdemar! I can’t believe that Gustaf...”
Jonathan pried himself loose of her grip and stepped away from her.
“You can’t believe...” he said in a thin voice. “You knew this could happen. Your brother is a murderer. He will do anything to be king, you know that...”
“Jonathan, please,” she said, trying to get a hold of his cloak again, but he stepped away.
“I can’t believe that you would try to protect him,” he said, his green eyes looking like granite.
They would never burn with passion or love for her ever again, Maria realized as she looked into them.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “Believe me, I never wished for Valdemar to die...”
Her voice trailed off, and she covered her mouth with her hand, trying to conceal a sob. She couldn’t believe it. It seemed impossible to even say it. Valdemar dead. He should be alive, making jokes. Wanting to get back to Anna.
“Maybe you didn’t wish for him to die. But you have finally showed me once and for all, that your loyalty for your brother runs deeper than your loyalty for me,” Jonathan said in a voice that was as cold as the February day outside.
He had already turned his back to her, and Maria watched him walk out of the church. She wanted to stop him. To run after him and plead with him. But something was holding her back. Holding her in place. Maybe the simple fact that she knew that it would be to no avail. She had lost him forever this time, and she didn’t deserve any better than that.
Maria looked back at the dead young man. Who would never smile again, tease his brother, dance with his wife or father a child.
“I’m so sorry, Valdemar,” she whispered with tears running down her cheeks.