Chapter 31

JERRY

Within three weeks, Father Jim Kennedy had assembled a rhythm and blues quintet out of our original four groups and had held several practices. Being that Kennedy was the only one with a guitar, Dan and the priest had found a second guitar, a bass, a keyboard, and a set of drums.

On a Thursday morning they held their first semi-public presentation in the conference room that had almost become exclusively ours of the reform project. The audience was to include Warden Bonhoeffer, Dan McGuire, and all members of our first team—leaders, guards and inmates, plus the twenty-four members of our second group. The band would introduce the new members to our project with a medley of three popular tunes. The band consisted of Father Kennedy; one guard, Alan Fisher from J.J.'s group; second guitar, inmate Romero Gutierrez from my group; keyboard, inmate Alex Summers from Jack's group; and Sonia's inmate, Valentino Cruz, on drums.

After the audience was seated, I introduced Father Kennedy and he, in turn, introduced the band members.

They were a bit ragged, but produced a pleasant rendition of two R&B songs and began a third up-tempo number. Valentino, the drummer, began well, but as the beat increased in tempo he began to beat the hell out of the drums, then the chair backs near him, and then began to beat on the two musicians nearest him. I turned to Sonia and asked her to help me calm Val down. Although he was using only drum sticks, he was getting out of control. I jumped up and moved quickly to the band area, turned Val around, and gave him a bear hug from behind, pinning his arms to his side. As I held him tight, I backed up to the wall and pulled Val with me as we slid down the wall. So there I was sitting on the floor holding Val in front of me. I was about six inches taller than him and outweighed him by thirty or more pounds.

Sonia knelt down in front of us and asked, in Spanish, "Val, what the hell came over you?" I knew by her tone that she was not scolding him but just wanted to understand what was going on inside him. I could feel him relaxing his muscles but I didn't let go.

Val said, in both English and Spanish, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, please let me do better. I can do it." He would say each phrase in Spanish while looking at Sonia, then repeat it in English, turning and looking at me.

Sonia whispered to me that Val had a pretty severe case of ADHD. She asked Val, "Val, did you take your meds today?"

Looking like a scolded little boy, he answered, "No, I was afraid it would take, what you say? The edge off of me. I guess big mistake, I'm so sorry."

I looked around and everyone was watching us closely, especially Dan and Henry Bonhoeffer. I was regretting that I was the one who invited them. The two guards, with their hands near their guns, looked worried and were moving our way. I asked Val, "Would you like to go back and complete the last song?"

"Oh, yes, oh, please, may I?"

I let him loose and he turned and apologized to me and said, "Thank you, Doctor, thank you." I went over to Father Kennedy, the combo organizer, and asked him to start the last song again at the beginning and that Valentino believed he could do okay. I whispered that he was ADHD, loud enough so that the other musicians could hear me.

Val did keep it together and they did manage to smoothly finish the piece. The small audience applauded loudly. I smiled. Before leaving, the warden congratulated Sonia and me on the way we handled Valentino and added, "I think it is a good introduction to the new group of inmates that we are working to show a more humane treatment of our people. From what I hear, the old regime would have ordered poor Valentino shot for attacking a guard and chaplain."

We then began the workshop with a similar lineup as we had the first. I had the first talk about everyone's need to own his elephant and that the elephant was our own positive and negative power, energy, and history of using that power for good and for evil. Our inability to know and control our elephant was what gets people into prison. I shared my own experience of control and neglecting to know and control my elephant. We then broke into four groups with Jack, J.J., Sonia, and me leading each group.

I was pleased with my own group consisting of one black guard, two Caucasians, two Hispanics, and two black inmates. This time we could be more choosy as many more inmates volunteered for the program for it was better known now. J.J. gave her talk on her history and the need for all of us to rewrite our scripts as we move into adulthood, and especially after we have had a serious setback, like committing a crime and going to prison. After each talk we had a lengthy and lively discussion. We ended the day at 5:00 p.m. It may have been just wishful thinking, but I felt like it went more smoothly and better than our first workshop.

As we headed for Dan McGuire's place, I had a very heavy feeling that something was wrong at home. It was only a five-minute drive and Rebecca called just as I drove into Dan's driveway. I picked up my cell and Rebecca said, "Jerry, I just learned that Joe Carroll made bail and was released from jail. No one seems to know where he is but it has been two or three days since he left jail. I know you plan to stay in Booneville, but I would really like you to be here. I have a terrible fear about all this."

"I can understand your feeling. I'll see what I can do and call you back shortly. In the meantime, take every possible precaution—like lock all the doors. Oh, and call that detective you met at the hospital, maybe he can send someone to the house, okay?"

Jack was in the car with me and said, "That sounds bad, I think you should go ... and take me with you."

Before I could get out of the car, Rebecca called again, "Jerry, Julie just called from the high school and said she couldn't find Kathy. She was getting ready to come home. I told her to stay there. I'm taking Detective Lawson with me. I'll keep you posted."

"I should be able to leave here and head home soon. Do let me know what's happening." I turned to Jack, "Let's go in and see if we can work something out so we both can head for St. Louis."

J.J., Sonia, and Dan were all understanding of our situation and Dan said he could take my group and we decided that Jake Salmon, the tall black man from my group, could lead Jack's group. Sonia and J.J. could call him and give him a quick orientation. I told them that he would do well.

We climbed back into the Prius and Jack began to apologize, "Jerry, I'm not sure why I feel such an urgency to go with you, I just feel I have to be there, okay? Joe is my brother and Kathy is my niece, and, well, I ."

"Don't worry, Jack, I would feel the same way if I were in your shoes. In a way, I am already in your shoes. Maybe all this is a false alarm and nothing real serious will happen. Still, Rebecca is not an alarmist and when she feels something, it is always important. And anyway, we'll soon have to turn our first group over to the participants and so this will be a practice run for two groups, anyway."

We had just turned onto the Interstate when my phone rang. I was driving, so I handed the cell to Jack.