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“When we get to the church, you will probably begin having flashes again. Remember, even though I was there, too, I will not have any. I will feel your emotions and the energy of the place. You can tell me what you see, if you feel you can. What we have to do is release the negative energy there, primarily through forgiveness. We must essentially right a wrong; overcome the bad with what is good. I hope doing it together will be a huge help to us both.”
Luca had been combing his fingers through the ends of her hair as he spoke.
They were still cuddled up together in bed when the sun finally rose on this day. Halloween. While her grandfather had only texted he would be unable to make it to the church yesterday, of course unable to explain, Luca had grown as concerned about the man and what was going on with him, as he knew Kamillia to be. Still, he knew they had to go right away to begin their clearing. As much as he wanted to, he could not postpone the inevitable, knowing it was only a matter of time before he would be called away, succeed or fail, back to his post or reassigned to another job. He could not selfishly put it off when this city was in the state it was. More and more as the years passed did the spiritual realms have to lead the mortals, even if it was only to whisper reassurance.
He immediately tried to release the feelings welling up in him when he thought of how little time they could have left. It choked him, making it impossible to even exist if he let himself think on it for even a second. He would get beyond it for her, and this world she had to live in. It was the only way he was going to make it through this job. It was the first time failure even seemed a possible option, and he couldn’t have that. Not this time, not with her, no matter what it cost him.
“Luca, why do clearings have to be done at all of these individual places on the Earth? Why can’t someone like Ahti, with all of his powerful and evasive peace, just clear the planet?”
“Because planetary clearing is overwhelming, even for immortals. You know the saying, it is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness?” He paused as she nodded, sliding her silky mass of curls on his chest. He hardened even more than he had already just waking up to find her in his arms. “It would be easier if everyone would just claim dominion over their own consciousness and align themselves again with the Source or the Divine or whatever they chose to call it. Today, even just waking people up from their complacency would be an immense help. Most go through their days as robots because they are overwhelmed with all life requires of them. I think they worry if they stop for just one brief second to appreciate something not only will all of their stress and fears drown them, but they will miss an opportunity to have just a little more.”
“So, what do we single candles need to do today?” She played her fingers nervously through the hairs on his chest when she looked up at him. All he wanted to do was take her, but he was obligated to this clearing first.
“We will first try what we call a Heaven and Earth Clearing. Once we get there and see what we are facing, each time a flash comes to you, whether it is a feeling or a vision, you are going to have to forgive and let it go. This is done by making yourself a conduit with your roots in the earth and your thoughts in alignment with the Heavens. The Divine is unconditional love regardless of any other thing. The more in touch you can get with the source of the energy, the more you will clear away the negative. It is hard to explain, but once we are there, I will be able to direct you through it. When I carried you from the church yesterday, it had blackened more than any portal I have ever seen. You are going to have to face it head on, and trust in me to get you through it.”
“I do trust you.” She slid her body up until her mouth reached his. Her kissing him lightly while running her hands through only confirmed they needed to go, now. He only hoped after they'd done what they needed to do he could come back here and spend time inside of her before he was called away.
“Does that mean you believe me now, too?” he dared ask of her.
“I guess it does. I don’t have much choice. Even though everything in me still sees it as fiction, I can’t deny what is right in front of me any longer either.”
“Then, we must go. As much as I would love to just stay here and make love to you forever, we have a job to do. Let’s get it done, so we can come back here and spend our time left together, literally. We won’t know when the next sign will come for us to each return to our lives.”
He felt her tense, and he concentrated hard on the beauty before him in order to keep the fears and the pain at bay for now. He kissed her lightly giving her a gentle shove and a nod of his head to get her moving off of his body, which was already physically aching for her. Then, he sat back and watched her naked form cross the room. Only when she had disappeared into the bathroom did he fight the tears, the worry, and the heartache trying again to accost him like a live demon bent on devouring him from then inside out.
They both hurried through dressing and eating, anxious to get their job over with.
Before they left her home, he gave her hand a less-than-gentle squeeze while he tried to let go of the feelings he was having and transform the air itself with the power inside him.
***
Walking from the car, Kamillia grabbed his hand tightly as she looked up at the steeple of the church. Before she could react, an invisible cloud so adverse in its constitution overwhelmed her. Despite the beauty of the church, there were shadows of a primal energy so pure in its evil she quickly became disoriented to time and place. It bore down on her heavier and heavier.
With each tentative step around the building, feeling led to the woods in the back first, as she took one step into that tree line she saw flames leap out at her. She flinched, alarmed and amazed at the realistic vision. Yet, when she felt the scintillating heat, a sudden dread resulted in her utter confusion and dismay.
“Kamillia, what is it?”
“Fire, all I can see is...”
She lost her voice as more flames shimmered around her. They seemed to lap at her body until she could see nothing else. The contours created by the colors within the blaze complimented the inky blue of the unclouded sky. She tried, at first, in between flashes to remind herself the fire was fake. This reality was taken from her by the arid smell of smoke. It billowed around her like clouds full of the restlessness of long ago murdered desires.
As it continued to burn, it enticed her. Feeling she’d lost her frail grip on control, she squeezed at Luca’s hand. She made it her lifeline. Nothing was going to hurt her as long as she focused on his hand holding hers. She tried to literally ground her feet into the earth as he had said to. She tried to ignore the agony her soul remembered.
Even as she tried to find the reserve of joy inside of her to fight it, it overpowered her. Her steps continued with the slight push of his hands on her waist. An insane, indescribable urge to flee overwhelmed her and she turned to look at the church. She cocked her head to the side as she looked at it through the flames of the past. It was beautiful, and until yesterday had held only good memories for her, but she felt a deep stirring of hate for it despite it all.
Confusing to feel this way, she guessed Alessandrina would have seen it as sinister after what happened to her at the hands of its most holy of men.
Suddenly, the flames got too strong and too close. The intensity of the heat made her feel faint. The next thing she knew, she was huddled into Luca’s arms in the grass close to the church. He held her and talked to her. All she knew for sure was the sound of his voice and his body against hers. For the moment, it was enough.
“The pain, the anger and the suffering, is so strong, Kamillia. I don’t know if we can fight it. I have been to places where horrible things like this have happened many times, but it has never affected me so strongly before. I guess it is because part of the pain here is mine. I can’t stand away from it in order to find my own peace and love inside myself here. I have got to come up with a way for us to do this. Failure is not an option. Stay strong with me my love.”
She listened to him, but she looked at the church. Misery came from there, too, but it came with a different kind of suffering. The restlessness she now felt was maddening, but she no longer felt vulnerable either. Oddly enough, this place began to anger her, so much so she wanted to attack it.
“What is it?”
“The church, it makes me feel such anger I almost can’t think straight. I hate everything about it, like I have never hated anything in my life. It is an awful feeling, more of a sickness than an ache. Only, this time, I don’t want to run from it. This time I want to go in and fight it.”
“Remember revenge and anger are very base emotions. They will not cleanse the place. You need to let these feeling go, too.”
“I know,” she said through clenched teeth. She felt so determined, like she was on a mission of vengeance. It was all so strange. She moved from Luca’s arms, only briefly aware it was the first time she had left his embrace without giving heed to the pang of emptiness that usually overwhelmed her when she was without him. She marched into the building, only to find the large room empty again today. No surprise, really, as no cars had been in the driveway. Someone still could have been dropped off, but there didn’t seem to be anyone anywhere
“Do they not use it now?” she asked never stopping or looking at him.
“I don’t know. It is a weekday. It would make sense there would be no church related activities now. Hello, is anyone here?” he called out, but no one answered them.
They walked through to the back rooms, which looked like they were perhaps once used for meetings or classrooms. Boxes and some scattered old books filled them both. They all amounted to nothing more than storage, from the looks of things.
They finally came to stairs, and she practically ran down them as if after someone. She felt powerless against the ire directing her actions. When they reached a dim hallway, the smell of candles and herbs struck her. She pushed open the heavy door with the force of her bitterness, hurting her hand as the heavy door resisted her efforts with little regard to the brunt of her mood. With all of the rage building within her, she moved it inch by inch until Luca joined her efforts.
Her first glimpse of the corner stopped her cold. Luca’s ghost hung from shackles on the wall with his face full of fury and his arms dripping with his own blood.
She ran at the image, and hit the stone of the wall since there was no one there for her to actually strike at. Odd sensations of pain rippled through her body. No vision currently explained when the stings would come or what means they were inflicted by. All she could see was Luca’s counterpart struggling against his chains. Blood streamed from his bindings while tears ran down his enraged face. The look was similar to the one she had seen on her Poppie’s face just days ago when he told her of the night of her parent’s deaths. She understood him better now, and felt a sudden pang of remorse for the way she had ignored his pain for her own that night.
“Kamillia, are you alright. I am trying to fight it, but your anger and your pain is getting worse.”
“I am sorry. I don’t know if I can do this.” Sobs took her, finally, even as the image of Luca faded. “There is so much pain here, and I am so angry. I don’t know how to change it.”
“Look at me.” She felt his warm, large hands on her face, as he turned her so she would look at him. “I love you. All you need to do is concentrate on that. I am here now, and I am fine. I love you. Let the past go, please.”
He kissed her then, fully and passionately, in hopes everything else but his lips would fade from her mind. She let him scoop her body up against his until her feet dangled above the ground. She ran her hands through his gorgeous waves of hair, which appeared coal black with the lack of light. When he released her, his eyes bore into hers and she could feel his love penetrating through the affliction that had overcome her.
“Maybe we can do this after all, if you keep doing that.”
“That is part of what Ahti told us. Only if we stay in the moment, in the now, will we be able to do this. If you get caught up in the emotions of the past...” He took a deep breath. “I am not saying it is easy. It is much harder for you because you are actually seeing it, too. My experience of it is much diminished from yours.”
When she looked beyond him again, all she could see was the high basement ceiling and the plain floor. The walls were covered in shelves filled with books, bottles, and other things that her grandparents, maybe even her parents, had used in secret magical rituals. The thought no sooner hit her then another flash came, hiding the brownish rendering of the walls. She buried her face in his shirt to avoid the sharp image of a long length of black leather cutting into Luca’s flesh. She shook and more pain rippled through her. It burned her skin and pierced with a sting beyond what she thought she could endure.
Then, it was gone just as quickly. Her mind had only remembered it, what it felt like to be whipped the same way.
“You are going to have to distract me. Every time I look anywhere I see what was, and I feel it like it is happening now. The actual pain is fleeting; it is the rage which lingers after.” She hoped he understood her tumble of words, forced out with a shaky voice.
“In order to stay in the present, and feel the energy we create when we are together, you are going to have to ignore the flashes. We will just look at each other and let the feelings come to us. The longer we can do that, the better it will get.”
She looked into his eyes, which also looked more black than brown in this light.
Her mind flashed to the Luca of the past, and how she had just seen his eyes. In response, she turned head to the corner of the room again toward his presence. He was hanging there unconscious, and two men were taking him down. They let him lay on the stone cold floor in a pool of red.
“Look at me, Kamillia.” She felt Luca's hands move her face again.
“When I do, I just see him anyway. The bastards must have had him half dead before they even burned him.”
