Chapter 42
I walked into the hotel alone. Alex wanted to join me, to confront her together, but I didn’t want to create an ambush. Plus, I assumed the reasons Lilly did this (like she really had any) had more to do with me than him. I didn’t want her to censor her comments because of his presence. And I didn’t want to have to censor my own. Fighting with Lilly was intimidating enough without adding Alex into it.
The lobby was empty. Vince had already left, probably to go to the beach. He had been complaining recently that he couldn’t return to Pennsylvania from a tropical island without a tan. The hotel was utterly silent, but I knew Lilly was still there. She had sent Alex to find me; whether she wanted to get caught or not I didn’t know, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t skip out before hearing the result of her handiwork. My guess was that she was expecting me.
I heard a clang of glassware from the bar. Though she had never worked in the restaurant’s kitchen before, I knew it was her. I could feel it.
I walked in and saw her unloading clean glasses onto the proper racks. She stopped immediately. And for a few moments we just glared at each other. I didn’t say anything. She knew that I knew. Despite the fifteen feet separating us, I felt like we were staring at each other from across the Grand Canyon. The air locked in my lungs and I felt my fingernails dig into my palms.
“Look,” she started, carefully putting down the tray of glasses and slowly moving to the other side of the bar. I wanted her to stay where she was. I liked having the buffer zone between us. “It’s not as bad as you think.”
“Really!” I snipped, my eyes wide and my tone instantly going on the offensive. “Oh, please, then explain it to me. Explain how you lied to me and how that’s ‘not that bad.’ ”
We were alone in the bar, which was a blessing. I hadn’t intended to start off so harsh. I planned on hearing her out first. It wasn’t as if she was Madison or Emily or Vince. I could yell at them recklessly and know that we’d live through it, that we’d still be friends afterward. Lilly didn’t have that absolution.
“Oh, come on, Mariana. I did you both a favor!”
“And how is that?”
“You guys didn’t even know each other and you were acting like you were ready to walk down the aisle. It was ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry you felt that way, but how you felt wasn’t really relevant to us, now, was it?” I asked, my head jerking from side to side.
“That’s exactly my point! You didn’t care how I felt. You both acted like I didn’t exist.” She threw her hands in the air in frustration.
“You didn’t exist, really? Because I remember you introducing us at your Quinceañera, you sitting on the beach with us, you eating dinner with us, you hanging out on the porch with us. Exactly how did we ignore your existence?” I tugged at my fingers as I shouted the list of events.
“God, do you hear yourself? I shouldn’t have to be the third wheel in my own house. You were the guest here, Mariana, not me!”
“We never treated you like a third wheel. I thought we were friends.”
“We are!”
“Well, friends don’t lie and scheme and hurt each other! Not like this.What you did was mean. I don’t see any way you can justify it!”
“I’m not trying to justify it. I just think you should at least try to see this from my side!”
“Then, what is your side? Why did you do this? Because you were jealous?”
“Jealous? Jealous of what?”
“Of me and Alex.”
Lilly paused, caught her breath, and looked toward the doorway that led to the lobby. I wondered for a moment if she was going to walk out. But then she lifted her hand to her forehead and mumbled, “It’s not that I like Alex.”
My heart seized.
“Oh, my God,” I rasped.
“What?”
“Lilly.”
“What?”
She refused to look me in the eye.
“You can have any guy you want. You know that. Your friends, all guys by the way, swoon over you. All of them. They fight for your attention. And the one guy I like. The one guy who likes me back, you decide you have a crush on!” My mouth stayed open as I shook my head.
“I never said I had a crush on him!”
“Oh, please! You might as well have.”
“Mariana, it’s not like that,” she defended, taking a few steps back.
“Then what is it like?”
“Forget it! It doesn’t matter.You’re not going to listen to anything I say anyway.”
“Obviously that’s not true because Alex and I fell for your crap pretty easily.”
“Alex and I. Alex and I. That’s all you care about!”
“And clearly all you care about is yourself.”
As soon as I said it, I wanted to take it back. Lilly’s eyes instantly watered and her whole body wrenched backward. Only it was too late. I had said it. It was out there in the universe. And I would have to live with it. So would she.