Chapter 46
There’s not much a great aunt and great uncle can do to comfort a girl who’s just found out her whole family is a lie. As soon as the story was finished and reality sank in, I bolted from the bar and ignored their calls. They didn’t come after me and I wasn’t surprised.
Standing on the road surrounded by palm leaves, banana trees, tropical flowers, exotic birds—the setting just added to the foreign feeling raging inside me. It seemed unnatural for a teenager to be disappointed in her grandparents, but I was. I doubted everything they had ever told me. All those stories about wanting to provide a better life for their children, about how proud they were of the accomplishments that stemmed from their “struggles”—they were all lies.
And that woman from the church. She knew who I was. She knew she was talking to her niece.Yet she didn’t say anything. I felt like I had been played or manipulated, but I didn’t know by whom. I didn’t know who to blame.
I ran down the road, my thin white sneakers pounding the dirt, my lungs gulping thick, hot bursts of air. I saw visions of my grandparents seated around the dining room table on Christmas, smiling like a happy couple on the eve of their golden anniversary. I saw my uncles sitting silently in the family room watching football on Thanksgiving (one of the three times they visited their parents each year), drinking beers and ignoring their family. It was obvious they knew. I could always sense the tension in the air when my grandfather was around them, only I mistook it for disinterest or bad manners on my uncles’ parts when it was actually resentment. I remembered thinking that my grandparents died so close together because they were so much in love, that my grandmother died of a broken heart. The thought seemed so ridiculous now, so naïve.
My strides lengthened as I continued to run down the dusty road. I was not a jogger; actually I hated it. I despised the mile run requirement for gym class—with every lap, I would silently curse my teacher more and by the end of it, my stomach would be cramped in knots and my lungs raw from panting. But today, I could have kept running forever. If I was tired, I couldn’t feel it. I couldn’t feel anything.
I saw my aunt and uncle’s house in view before I even realized that’s where I was headed. I knew my brother could be inside, quietly oblivious. I didn’t know if I should tell him. Well, I knew I should tell him, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be the person to break this story to my family.
I charged across the front lawn, staring at the blades of bright green grass the same way I did the day I had arrived. I wished I could go back to that day, or even better yet, I wished I could have found a way to convince my father not to send us here, so then I would never know the truth. I wished I could forget everything.
I swung open the front door and it crashed loudly on the wall from the weight of my throw. The house was dim, and it was hard for my eyes to adjust. I couldn’t see if anyone was home.
“You’re slamming doors now? Real mature. Why don’t you revert to a full-out temper tantrum, start pounding your fists on the floor,” mocked Lilly as she stepped into the living room where I was standing.
She stopped in her tracks the moment she saw me. I could feel the beads of sweat pouring down my forehead and mixing with my tears. My breathing was staggered and my nose was running.
“Whoa,” she mumbled, her head jerking back. “Mariana, really, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d get this upset. I am so sorry. It was an awful thing for me to do.”
I started sobbing harder. I wished that was what I was upset about. Actually, I would do just about anything to make Lilly’s minor betrayal my biggest problem again.
“Is, is Vince here?” I stammered, gasping for air, my hand on my chest.
“No.” She shook her head, slowly walking toward me.
I covered my face with my hands and tried to catch my breath.
“What happened?” she asked softly.
My head was pounding.
“I was at the bar, and there was this guy, and the woman from the Quinceañera . . . and Uncle Miguel had to tell me the truth, but I didn’t believe him, but he was telling the truth and . . .”
“Mariana, you’re not making any sense. Slow down. What happened?”
I pulled my hands from my face and looked at her through teary eyes.
“My grandfather, he slept with some woman and he got her pregnant,” I mumbled, the air finally flowing back into my lungs at a manageable rate.
“Your grandfather? I thought he was dead.”
“He is,” I huffed. “Before he died. Before he left Puerto Rico. He cheated on my grandmother with some slut and she got pregnant and my grandparents just left. They went to the States to avoid it all, like it never happened. Only it did, and the woman had the baby—”
“Holy shit,” Lilly interjected, shaking her head.
“And now the baby’s, like, thirty-five and you invited her to your Quinceañera!”
“What? I did! Who?”
“That woman,Teresa. She had that screaming toddler. . . .”
“Teresa! Holy shit!” Lilly yelled a second time, her jaw dropping.
“How do you know her?”
“I don’t. My grandfather does. He said she used to work at the hotel.”
“Yeah, well he lied. Figures.”
“Hey, don’t go there. This is a bad situation all around. I mean, do you think your dad knows?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so. But who knows anymore? Can you believe it? My father’s sister sat next to me at your Quinceañera asking questions about my family, which is also her family, and I had no idea. I’m such an idiot. My grandparents let everyone believe they moved to the States to ‘find a better life,’ ” I mocked in a deep, newscaster tone. “It was all bullshit! And now I have to tell my whole family the truth! I don’t want to, but I don’t want to be a liar like the rest of them, either.”
I exhaled quickly and stared at Lilly.We stood there silently for several moments with just empty space between us.
“Are you waiting for me to say something? Because I don’t know what to say, but wow, this sucks. I’m sorry.” Her tone was more shocked than sad.
I couldn’t blame her for being at a loss for words. Even Dr. Phil would have a hard time tackling this one. I rested my fingers on my forehead and breathed slowly for a while.
Finally, Lilly hissed out a puff of air, breaking the silence. “Well, I guess this makes our fight look kinda petty, huh? I got a free pass on that one. . . .” She chuckled slightly.
Despite everything, I laughed. I had to. There was nothing else to do.