As formation flying continued, Casey felt a small amount of lightness in herself. She was progressing well, especially her ability to lead, and she was getting better at staying in position on the wing. The last hurdle was to fly solo in formation. She could not wait.
She hadn’t flown with Captain Hardesty recently and the flight IPs were flying with lots of different students. Casey was comfortable flying with any IP now, even Carter. He was doing less screaming lately. When she flew against her classmates, she realized she could stay in position better than most of them, and she had no trouble staying mentally ahead of the formation when she was the lead. Some of her classmates struggled with formation and were close to getting washed out. If you couldn’t fly formation, you couldn’t be an Air Force pilot.
Casey was excited to see she would be flying with Captain Hardesty today. If everything went well, her next ride after this one would be her formation solo and her last ride in the T-37 before she graduated to the supersonic T-38 jet. She and Captain Hardesty would fly against her classmate Jason Montgomery, who was flying his solo formation ride.
Captain Hardesty came striding into the flight room like she always did and announced, “Tompkins, Montgomery, let’s brief this up.”
Casey stood at attention at her table as Montgomery rushed over looking harried and disorganized. “Lieutenant Montgomery, Lieutenant Tompkins and I will start out as lead, then position change, and you will lead us back to the overhead pattern for landings.”
Casey was keenly aware that Captain Hardesty expected her to be the formation commander and make all the decisions as lead. This ride would be her last check before she was allowed to fly formation as a solo pilot. The check-in, engine start, taxi out, and wing takeoff went well. Casey started a smooth turn to the practice area and noticed Montgomery bouncing around a fair amount on her wing. Maybe he just needs to settle down a bit.
She did a slow, smooth rollout from the turn to try to help him out. Casey gave him a cross under, and it took him longer than normal to move from the right wing to the left wing. When she entered the practice area, she gave him a pitchout so he could get a rejoin. After she gave him the wing rock rejoin signal, she looked for him in the usual eight o’clock low position behind her but couldn’t see him. “Can you see him, ma’am?”
“Yeah, I see him. He’s way too low and forward of the rejoin line,” Captain Hardesty answered.
Casey saw Captain Hardesty’s hand move to the stick for the first time on the ride. She finally saw Montgomery way low and far forward of where he should have been. “Crap,” she muttered to herself. What the hell is he doing?
“Overshoot! Overshoot!” Captain Hardesty yelled over the radio.
Casey saw Montgomery cross under her jet and swing wide to the opposite side of her.
“Just continue the turn, Casey. Give him a chance to get back in position.”
After what seemed like a long time, Montgomery finally got back into position on her wing. Casey only had time for a few more maneuvers before she reached changeover fuel. She gave him the change lead signal and slid back into fingertip position off Montgomery’s wing. He continued straight ahead for several miles without giving her any maneuvers. Casey glanced ahead and saw they were rapidly approaching the boundary of their practice area. Come on, do something, Montgomery.
Finally, he gave her the signal for a pitchout. Good. Well, at least I’ll get some rejoin practice. The lead aircraft abruptly turned into her. She gasped as her windscreen was instantly filled with a white plane coming right at her. The stick jerked down out of her hand and she was held down by her shoulder straps as negative Gs lifted her up out of her seat. They immediately went down as the lead jet crossed over the top of their canopy, missing them by inches.
“Jesus Christ, you fucking idiot, Montgomery! My jet, Casey,” Captain Hardesty yelled.
“What just happened, ma’am?” Casey’s heart was pounding out of her chest.
“That dumb shit forgot what side we were on, didn’t look where he was going, and he pitched right into us. I had a feeling he might do that. That’s why I had my hand on the stick. You didn’t do anything wrong, Casey. Now’s he giving us the rejoin signal. He is completely clueless. Your jet, Casey. Just complete the rejoin and watch out for him.”
Her heart was still pounding from their near midair collision. She took a few deep breaths and flew the rejoin. As the flight continued, she was very wary of lead and she didn’t trust him. It was a new and very uncomfortable feeling. At one point, he had her go to close trail position and she followed him through acrobatic maneuvering. With a little space behind him she could see the practice area around them and looked at her altimeter. He was leading them out the bottom of the practice area below the minimum altitude. Not knowing what else to do, she said, “Lead, check altitude.” He finally noticed his altitude and abruptly pulled up after going out the bottom of the area by two thousand feet.
“Tango 47 Flight, Albuquerque Center, check altitude. I show you two thousand feet low.”
Captain Hardesty jumped on the radio. “Roger, Albuquerque, we’re correcting now. I’ll be filing a report when we land.”
Montgomery climbed back up to the correct altitude and departed the practice area to lead the flight back to Willie. As the formation flew up to the overhead pattern, Casey felt relief when he broke away from them to make his landing. She no longer had to follow him. She heard him call “Gear down” over the radio.
Captain Hardesty got on the radio. “Mojack, have Tango 47 Lead make a full stop landing.”
The RSU replied, “Roger. Tango 47 Lead, make this landing a full stop.”
Montgomery answered, “Roger, Mojack. Tango 47 Lead, gear down, full stop.”
Casey could hear the confusion in his voice. This is going to be ugly when we get on the ground.
The flight room was noisy, as usual, with lots of students and IPs talking. When they walked in for the mission debrief, quiet descended on the room. Casey felt anger seethe from Captain Hardesty and she hadn’t said one word yet.
“So, Lieutenant Montgomery, how do you think the flight went?” Captain Hardesty asked.
“Well, there were a few little things I could have done better, I suppose, but overall, I think it went pretty good,” he answered.
“Really? Lieutenant Tompkins, how to you think the ride went?”
“Well, um, I think, um, I’m not really sure, ma’am,” Casey answered weakly.
“Lieutenant Tompkins, a vital part of formation flying is the debrief. This is where we give each other constructive critique in order to correct mistakes and improve each other’s performance. Don’t you agree, Lieutenant Montgomery?”
“Yes, ma’am, I do,” he answered brightly.
“Lieutenant Tompkins, tell Lieutenant Montgomery exactly what he did wrong on the ride.”
Casey knew this was not a request and there was no way she was going to get out of blasting Montgomery.
“Montgomery, you almost killed us. As wingman, you were way forward of the rejoin line and ended up having to do an overshoot. As lead, you broke right into me when you did your first pitchout. Then you led us out the bottom of the practice area during trail,” Casey told him bluntly.
Montgomery looked stunned. “That’s not how I recall the flight. You were a very rough lead at the beginning, making it hard for me to stay in position. I may have been a smidge aggressive on my rejoin, but I made the correct decision to overshoot, and that worked out well. I tried to be smoother for you when I was lead, and I certainly did not break into you. I didn’t see you except when you took a long time to rejoin.” He was quibbling. Casey felt anger radiate off Captain Hardesty. He concluded with, “I think Albuquerque Center’s radar was off when they said I went out of the area. I looked at my altimeter and it may have been close, but I was definitely still in the practice area.”
“Lieutenant Montgomery, not only can you not fly formation, either as wingman or lead, but you are clueless, and you are a liar. You just busted this ride.”
She got up from the table, walked across the flight room to the big schedule board, reached for the red grease pencil hanging on the string, and drew a big red circle around Montgomery’s name, breaking the pencil in the process. Casey overheard her as she bent down to speak to Captain Arnau. “Don’t ever schedule me to fly with that fucking dumb shit again.” She turned on her heel and left the flight room. The entire room was silent.
*****
Casey thought about everything that had happened on the disastrous formation ride as she entered her maneuver grades onto the grade sheet. Captain Stavros came over to her. “Lieutenant Tompkins, please come into my office.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Casey, I’m pleased to tell you that you’ve been promoted to captain.”
“Really, sir? I’d almost forgotten I was even up for promotion.”
“You should be very proud, Casey. There’s a commander’s call this Thursday afternoon, and the squadron commander will pin your new bars on you. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, Captain Stavros.” She saluted smartly, did an about-face, and left his office.
Casey called Trish and Rhonda as soon as she got home to share her good news.
“Congrats, girl! This calls for a party. Come over on Saturday and we’ll have some brats, beer, and cake.” Trish sounded more excited than Casey.
Relaxing in the pool with her friends was just what Casey needed. She’d been working and studying so hard she could hardly remember what day of the week it was. She only had her solo formation ride left in the T-37, then she had a few days off before going on to the T-38 squadron. Her body was tired and her mind was fried. She was excited about flying the “White Rocket,” the supersonic T-38, but she would miss flying with Captain Hardesty.
Kathryn Hardesty. Just saying her name out loud made Casey’s pulse race. She had such mixed emotions swirling around inside her. She wanted to fly like Captain Hardesty, and she knew without a doubt that she was the best IP in the squadron, but she also knew they could never even be friends. Then there was that scene. That view from the Las Vegas hotel balcony when she spied on her with that other woman. It was futile to try to suppress the image. It came to her unbidden when her head finally hit her pillow after another twelve-hour day of training. The scene replayed itself in slow motion with Casey fighting jealousy and arousal at the same time. She usually had to get out her vibrator for a quick release just to get some much-needed sleep. Why was she so obsessed with her? Maybe Trish and Rhonda could help her get her head on right again.
Their home was a sanctuary to her. Tension left her body when she walked up their sidewalk. The sound of splashing pool water and the lilt of women’s laughter made her smile. Maybe she would meet some amazing woman today who could take her mind off Kathryn Hardesty. At the very least, she could truly relax and be herself.
When she walked in the door, the whole party erupted with “CAPTAIN Tompkins!”
She couldn’t hold back her grin. The women came up to hug her. This was what she really needed—warmth and acceptance from friends who loved her. “Casey’s on my team,” Trish called out.
“I need a beer first,” Casey answered.
Not only was Rhonda a brilliant engineer, she was also a fabulous cook. She’d made a cake and decorated it with Air Force wings and silver captain’s bars. Casey started to choke up at what her friends had done for her. Rhonda came up behind her and hugged her. “It’ll bring a tear to a glass eye, Cap.”
“Thanks, Rhonda, this is great. You guys are the best.”
“You need to fill us in on your latest flying adventures. I love hearing all the crazy shit you’re doing.”
She was relaxing poolside and Marilyn strolled over to her. She’d arrived too late on purpose to play volleyball and she was wearing a tight-fitting T-shirt to show off her ample breasts. Marilyn went around the group hugging everyone but saved a long, lingering hug for Casey. She was polite but pulled away from Marilyn’s grip as soon as she could make an excuse to get another beer. Marilyn was an attractive woman, but Casey felt nothing for her, even though six months ago they’d briefly hooked up.
She noticed Marilyn’s red nails and thought of Kathryn Hardesty’s hands. Kathryn’s hands were smaller than Casey’s, and she kept her nails short with no polish on them. She remembered her hands in leather flying gloves moving over the wings of a Tweet. Her hands that could make a T-37 do precisely what she willed it to do. Her powerful hands that could poke a grown man in the chest when he screwed up, and precise hands that danced over the stick and throttles even in severe turbulence. Those were the hands that Casey wanted to touch, her hands, not Marilyn’s. Oh crap, I think I’ve had enough beer.
Trish and Rhonda sidled over to Casey and propped their feet up on a lounge chair.
“Get enough to eat, Captain?” Rhonda asked.
“Yes, I’m stuffed. Everything was delicious, as always.”
“Good. So what’s up with you and Marilyn?”
“Nothing’s up with me and Marilyn.”
“I thought you were kind of interested in her.”
“No. We had that one night a few months ago, but I’m only interested in getting through pilot training, nothing more.”
“Okay, then what’s up with that woman instructor?” Rhonda could be relentless when she wanted information.
“Nothing’s up with her. She’s my IP, that’s all.” Casey was starting to squirm under the interrogation.
“It didn’t sound like nothing after that trip to Las Vegas with her. You were acting like a crazy woman. Are you interested in her or not?”
There it was—the big question. Right out on the table in front of her. Would she continue to deny the truth to her dearest friends or would she finally speak the words she’d been holding inside?
“Yes. I’m interested in her, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing can ever happen between us.” A weight was lifted from her as she made her confession.
“What are you going to do about her, Casey?” Trish asked gently.
“I really don’t know.”
“What about when she’s no longer your instructor when you go to that really fast plane? Why can’t you see her then?” Rhonda asked.
“I don’t know, Rhonda. It just seems impossible right now.”
“Well, you’ve got a few days off after your last flight, don’t you? Why don’t you think about it and try to figure out a way to at least see if she feels anything for you. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I could get kicked out of the Air Force for being gay, lose my career, and never fly again,” Casey answered sadly.
“Really? After all they’ve invested in training you?”
“It doesn’t matter. If you are gay and they find out, your career and your life are over.”
“Well, since you know she’s gay too, I don’t think she would rat you out. You’ll figure it out, Casey. You’re a smarty-pants and a real catch.” They both hugged her as they returned to the party. Her friends had given her a lot to think about.