Kathryn’s distress at not being open with Casey about her promotion and school assignment was eating her alive. Especially after their weekend together in Colorado Springs. Casey was trying to make a huge decision about her future flying assignment and she didn’t have all the facts. She decided she would try and work the system to delay her school assignment to Alabama and try to stay at Willie a few more years so she could have a chance with Casey. She had to talk to the wing commander.
“He will see you now,” Mrs. Roberts said.
“Captain Hardesty, what can I do for you?” He looked busy and impatient.
“Sir, I need to talk to you about my school assignment.” Kathryn decided to dive right in.
“What about it?”
“I want to know if there is any way I can delay starting school? I have a very important family issue and I need to stay here at Willie.”
There was a long pause before he answered. “You realize this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you, don’t you? It won’t come around again. You’d be giving up your chance to ever be a squadron commander. Are you sure you’re prepared to give that up?”
There it was. The giant question. The career she’d always wanted in the Air Force or a chance with Casey. “Yes, sir, I fully understand what I’m asking. I wouldn’t be requesting it if it wasn’t essential for my family.”
“I have to tell you, I’m very disappointed to hear this from you. There are men on this base who would kill for this opportunity, and you want to give it away. I’ll have to get back to you. You’re dismissed.”
She knew better than to say anything. She did an about-face and left his office immediately, scared but hopeful.
*****
The day finally came for Casey’s navigation check ride—her last check ride in pilot training. She’d studied all the different destinations in the check ride profiles and was confident she could fly any of them. She knew her instrument flying rules cold and was prepared for anything the check pilot could ask her.
“Tompkins, your check pilot is Captain Kennedy, and you’ve got profile number two. Your takeoff time is 1015 hours. Meet him in Base Ops at 0900,” the scheduler told her.
“Yes, sir, got it,” she answered. Profile number two—Biggs Army Airfield, El Paso, Texas. Sweet! She said a silent “thank you” to Captain Janie Taylor for taking her to El Paso on her cross-country trip. She filled out the flight plan, checked the weather forecast, calculated her takeoff data, and checked the notices to airmen. She was ready.
Captain Kennedy showed up and reviewed her flight plan. “Show me how you came up with this landing fuel?”
Casey showed him her performance charts, her ground speed calculations with wind corrections, and her descent planning. “Good. This all looks in order. Let’s sit down at the planning table and brief this up.”
Casey would be under the instrument hood in the backseat and Captain Kennedy would do the initial takeoff from the front seat. Once airborne, Casey would take the jet and do all the flying and make all the radio calls. She ran into Bulldog in the parachute shop as she was getting ready to go out to the plane.
“Hey, Ace, knock ’em dead today. Take your time when he gives you holding. He loves to try to trip up studs giving them the outbound radial instead of the inbound course. You’ll do great.”
“Thanks, Bulldog.”
It still felt cramped flying from the backseat, especially with the hood covering the whole canopy. The takeoff was normal even though she still hyperventilated every time. The check pilot gave Casey the jet passing four hundred feet.
Just as Bulldog said, he tried to confuse her with non-standard holding instructions, but Casey was ready for him. She quickly drew a picture of the holding pattern and she figured out the correct entry pattern. He had her fly a non-precision approach which she knew would be to a missed approach. Her aircraft control was smooth and positive as she made small corrections and nailed the approach. He had her fly an ILS precision approach next. She was prepared to go around again at decision height, when he suddenly said, “My jet, landing.”
After his landing and taxi in, Casey knew she’d flown well and a weight lifted off her shoulders. She climbed down the ladder and Captain Kennedy turned, shook her hand, and said, “Good job, Captain Tompkins. Excellent ride.”
She was overjoyed. She’d passed all her check rides and finally knew she would graduate and get her wings. She wanted so badly to call Kathryn and share her good news. The check pilot flew the return leg to Willie and didn’t make her use the instrument hood. He quizzed her on instrument procedures, lost communication rules, and instrument emergencies the whole way back to Willie.
His debrief was short and sweet. “You know your stuff and you fly a beautiful airplane. I don’t have anything else for you. Overall grade, Excellent. I hope you’re thinking about staying here as a T-38 IP or maybe even applying for a fighter.”
“I am. Thank you, sir.”
When she walked into the Gombey flight room, a cheer rose up from her classmates. She was only the second student to earn an Excellent on her nav check.
Bulldog came over to her and slapped her hard on her back. “Way to go, Ace, I knew you could do it!”
“Captain Tompkins, can I see you in my office for a minute?” the flight commander asked.
“Yes, sir.”
“Have a seat, Casey. Good job on your nav check today. I wanted to talk to you about your flying assignment after you graduate. The T-37 squadron let me know they would like you to come back as a T-37 IP, and we hope you will come back here to be a T-38 IP as well. I know you’ve heard about the recent policy change letting women fly fighters for the first time, and I want to know if you are interested in this. You are certainly both fighter and instructor qualified. Have you thought about what you’d like to do?”
Casey sat in stunned silence as his words sank in. Both squadrons want me as an IP and he thinks I can fly a fighter? Wow. She was beaming inside. “To be honest, sir, I haven’t really made up my mind yet. I’ve been so focused on finishing my nav check that I haven’t thought too much about my assignment.”
“Well, you need to give it some very serious consideration. You have one week left to submit your dream sheet, so let me know what you decide.” He stood and reached out to shake her hand.
“Thanks, sir, I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” She returned his firm handshake. I have to talk to Kathryn about this right now.
*****
They arranged to meet at a famous old steak house in Tempe for dinner. It was far enough away from the base that they felt safe from prying eyes. After they got seated in a quiet booth, Casey decided to dive right into the conversation they needed to have.
“The flight commander told me today after I passed my nav check that both the T-37 and T-38 squadrons want me back as an IP. He also told me that I am fighter qualified and he wanted to know if I was interested in that.”
“Wow, Casey, that’s so great. I knew you were fighter and IP qualified, but it’s great to hear that from your flight commander. I’m so proud of you.”
Casey’s throat got very tight hearing those words from Kathryn. She’d worked so hard for years to get here, and now to know that Kathryn was proud of her was the icing on the cake.
“I’m not sure what to put on my dream sheet.”
“Casey, what do you want more than anything in the world? What is your heart’s desire?”
“I want to fly and I want to be with you. I think I could be happy flying any jet so long as I get to come home to you every night.” She reached for Kathryn’s hand under the table. This felt so right and so complete, right here and now with Kathryn.
Kathryn squeezed her hand in reply. “I want that too, but the plane you fly right out of pilot training is a really important decision. Do you want to teach other people how to fly? Do you want to teach brand-new student pilots in the Tweet, where they will try to kill you three times a day, or do you want to upgrade pilots with basic flying skills to the T-38? If you fly a fighter, you have to ask yourself, ‘Do I want to try and kill people with an airplane?’ because that is what you will be required to do. ‘Do I want to be the first woman in a fighter squadron where the men probably don’t want me there?’ You’re the only one who can answer those questions for yourself.”
“But what would be the best choice for us? Should we fly in different squadrons here at Willie? I think I would love to fly a fighter, but I would get sent away, maybe overseas even, and I don’t want to be separated from you.”
Kathryn struggled with telling Casey about her own next assignment. She wanted to tell her the truth, but hopefully, she had fixed things with the wing commander and she wouldn’t get sent away to school for a few years. She wanted Casey to stay at Willie with her and become an instructor pilot. She wanted to live with Casey and make a home together, but she also wanted what was best for Casey’s career.
“Casey, I can’t decide this for you. You have to make the right choice for you. Of course I want to be with you, but you’re the one who has to live with it. I can’t tell you what life would be like as a fighter pilot because I was never allowed to even try for that, even though I was fighter qualified when I graduated from pilot training.”
“Couldn’t you apply for it now that fighters are open to women?”
“No. They will never let any of us who flew heavy aircraft, like the tanker, fly fighters. They wouldn’t let me cross-train even though I’ve taught pilots who became fighter pilots. They will only allow new women pilots into fighters. I’m not the best person to talk to about this. Bulldog has tons of experience flying fighters and can tell you what life is really like as a fighter pilot.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to him. But if I choose to stay at Willie as an IP, what jet do you think I should teach in?”
“Again, you have to decide what’s the best fit for you. You’ll be a great IP in either airplane. When I came back to Willie as an IP, I had the choice and I wanted to fly the T-37 because I thought I could have the greatest impact on future Air Force pilots as their first IP. Also, I like the people in the Tweet squadron a lot better. They are more down-to-earth, and I thought all the guys in the T-38 squadron were assholes. But that is just my opinion.”
“Well, I have a lot to think about. I wish we could fly together again sometime.”
“You never know. We just might get a chance to.” She squeezed Casey’s hand again.
*****
Now that Casey’s check rides were complete, she had a few more solo rides and some four-ship formation rides left to fly to complete the program. The students who had finished their check rides talked nonstop about their assignment preferences. As Casey observed her classmates and their IPs, she could see clearly the over abundance of arrogance, cockiness, and testosterone that Kathryn meant when she said they were all assholes. Generally, they all were. Just then, Bulldog came bursting into the flight room just like he always did.
“Champ! How are you doing today?”
“I’m good, Bulldog. Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you later about my assignment sheet?”
“Why don’t you come on over for supper tonight and we’ll go over it. I’ll tell the Boss to set a place for you.”
“Great. I’ll see you at six.” She was glad she didn’t have to talk about assignment choices in front of her classmates. Several of them had been asking her what she was putting on her dream sheet. Before the big announcement that women could now fly fighters, they had assumed she would fill one of the IP slots for their class. They were happy about that since none of them wanted to come back to Air Training Command as an IP. Now that she could be in competition with them for a fighter, they’d become more wary of her.
*****
Casey got to Bulldog’s house with a six-pack of Dixie beer.
“Oh, hi, hon! Come on in. Well, aren’t you just as sweet as pie to bring me some Dixie beer.” Merrilee greeted her with a big hug.
“Hi, Merrilee. Whatever you’re fixing, it smells delicious.”
“Oh, I’m just whipping up a batch of fried chicken.”
After another delicious dinner, they went outside on the patio to crack open a few Dixie beers. Even though it was December, it was still balmy in the Arizona evening.
“So Bulldog tells me you two got to talk about pilot stuff, so I’m going to clean up in here so you can chat.” Merrilee got up and went back into the house.
“Bulldog, I need you to tell me the truth about flying a fighter. Do you really think I have what it takes?”
“Of course you do, Ace, or I wouldn’t have passed you on your rides. You fly as well as, or better than, any man I’ve ever trained. The question you’ve got to ask yourself is, ‘How much shit am I willing to put up with to fly a fighter?’ because they’re going to make your life hell in a fighter squadron, that’s for sure.”
“But why? Women have been flying Air Force planes for seventeen years now.”
“That doesn’t matter. You’re trying to get into their boys’ club and they don’t want you, or any women. I was around when the first gals started at the Air Force Academy, and those women got nothing but abuse and harassment for the entire time they were there. Do you know what the class patch was for the pilot training class before women started flying here at Willie in 1976? Their motto was LCWB—Last Class With Balls, and they all wore that patch on their flight suits. There are still some asshole IPs here who try to wash women studs out even today. It doesn’t matter how well you fly, those fighter boys will try to wash you out too. Do I think you can stand up to them and fly circles around them? Yes, I do, but you’re going to pay a high price for it. You won’t be getting any invites to squadron parties or barbecues, and the wives will resent you, big-time. It’s going take a while before those fighter jocks get used to the idea that women pilots can fly as well as them. Do you want to be the first one to bash her head through that door?”
“Wow, I had no idea, Bulldog.” She was feeling defeated before she even got a chance to try and fly a fighter.
“On the other hand, you could stay here at Willie as an IP for four years, really improve your own flying skills, then apply for fighter training. You’d be a senior captain in the squadron and have more flying hours than most of them guys in the unit. Fighter lead-in training would be a piece of cake after being an IP at Willie. But if you really want to fly a fighter, you can do it, Casey.”
“Why did you leave fighters and come back to Willie to be an IP, Bulldog? Most people think that’s a crazy thing to do.”
“I suppose it is, but most people don’t have a boy like ours. When the doc told Merrilee and me that our baby would have Down’s, well, it just about broke our hearts. I’d dragged Merrilee and our two older kids all around the world chasing my dream of being a hotshot fighter pilot squadron commander. Merrilee told me, ‘It’s the Air Force or us,’ so I chose my family. The doc told us he wouldn’t make it to age eight, and he’s already two years past that. I’m just damn lucky I’ve got a few friends in high places who got me a job at Willie where I can still fly and be home every night. That’s very hard to do in the Air Force. I’ve had a great career and I still love strapping on a jet and flying, but coming home to the giant smile that my li’l punkin’ gives me when I walk through the door is worth more than anything. We just try to treasure every day we have with him.” Bulldog got very quiet after that.
“Thanks for talking to me, Bulldog. You’ve given me a lot to think about. I should go, it’s getting late.”
“See you tomorrow, Ace.”
Casey got up to leave and say good-bye to Merrilee while Bulldog stayed outside sitting in the dark.
“Merrilee, thank you for another delicious dinner. It was great.”
“Did you and Bulldog get everything straightened out?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I’ve got a lot to think about with my assignment request.”
“I want to tell you something, Casey. Bulldog told me you’re the second best student pilot he ever flew with, and that you could fly any jet the Air Force has.”
“Really?”
“Yes, he did, and you know who was the very best student pilot he ever flew with? Kathryn Hardesty.”
“Wow. I didn’t know she’d been his student.”
“She’s a very special woman, as I’m sure you know.”
Casey was starting to feel nervous. Where is she going with this?
“Casey, the Air Force is a great life, but don’t let it be the only thing in your life. Make the right decision for your career and for your family, regardless of what the Air Force says. You get what I’m saying here?”
“I think I do, Merrilee.” She had no idea what to say next.
“We love both you and Kathryn, and if you choose your family first, you won’t regret it.” She pulled Casey into a big hug and kissed her cheek. “Good night, darlin’. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Good night, Merrilee. Thanks for everything.”
She could hardly believe what she’d heard as she walked to her car. They know about Kathryn and me. How can they know about us? They know about us, they want us to be together, and they love us. I am blown away.