chapter one.

“I’m not getting any younger,” Al said.

“Who is?” I asked.

“I’ve got miles to go before I sleep, and I seem to be standing still.” I noticed that underneath her new tweed jacket she was wearing her old brown vest, a sure sign she’s in the pits.

“How come you’re wearing that”—I pointed to the vest—“when today is practically boiling?”

“False summer,” Al said, looking critically at the sky as if she could see a weather report there. “We always have a false summer just before school closes. Pay no attention. We’ll have a relapse, I guarantee.”

Suddenly she hissed through her teeth, “Listen, I’m pushing fourteen, and once you’re fourteen, it seems something should’ve happened to you. Something memorable.”

“What’d you expect?”

Al lifted her shoulders until they almost touched her ears. “I don’t know. I might find out I was a missing heiress. Or maybe the illegitimate daughter of a French count. Or I might be discovered by a TV tycoon.” She dropped her books to the sidewalk.

“There I am, sitting, enjoying a sausage-and-pepper pizza, minding my own business.” She bent her knees to show she was sitting at a counter, enjoying her pizza. “And along comes this TV tycoon in a three-piece suit, with his hair all styled and everything, and he takes one look at me and says, ‘Pardon me, miss, but if I may say so, you’re precisely the type we’ve been combing the city for.’

“Then he decides to star me in his new sitcom, which turns out to be a romance with a lot of laughs, an unbeatable combination, and it also turns out to be the hit of the century.

“Well”—Al smiled ruefully at herself—“maybe not of the century but of the half century. But it’s big, really big. I am able to buy a mansion for my mother and also a Mercedes-Benz, on account of this sitcom runs in prime time and takes the Nielsen ratings by storm. I’m on the cover of Time and even Newsweek…”

A little old lady walking with a cane came up behind us. “You’re blocking the sidewalk,” she said. “Please step aside.”

“I’m a TV star,” Al told her, “in the process of being discovered,” and she stepped aside.

The little old lady drew back as if she smelled something bad. “In this world,” she said, “you meet all kinds. Life is not what it used to be.” She tottered off down the street, shaking her head, muttering to herself.

“I made her day,” Al said. “She thinks I’m on drugs.” She bent and picked up her books and went on talking.

“And people would stop me on the street and say, ‘Aren’t you Laura in Squat Down in Squalor?’ or whatever. I think that’d be cool. That and all the residuals.”

Here we go again.

“What are the residuals?” I said. Al frequently uses words I don’t understand. One nice thing about her, though. She never says, “What! You never heard of residuals!” or anything like that. She doesn’t treat me as if I were a total idiot because I don’t know the meaning of a word, and I know plenty of people who do that.

“Money, baby.” Al did a little tap dance. “That’s all. The folding green stuff. Every time they show your sitcom on reruns in the summer, especially if it’s in prime time, they have to fork over big bucks. Which are otherwise known as residuals. Which will make you rich. You savvy?”

I savvied.

“You could always write a book that they’d turn into a major motion picture for six figures,” I said. “That’s a good way to get rich quick.”

“I’d settle for one they’d make into a minor motion picture for five figures,” she told me. “I’m up for an ice cream cone. How about you?”

“I’m broke,” I said. Sometimes, when I say, “I’m broke,” I feel like a record that’s gotten stuck.

“Then we’ll share.” There was an ice cream cart at the corner. “One mocha chip cone, please,” she told the man. “First this year. How’s business?”

“Stinks,” he said. “You want small, medium, or large?”

“I want large but this is all I have,” Al said, holding out her money. “I guess I’ll have to settle for small, huh?”

“You must be psychic, lady,” he said.

Al looked at me. “L-A-D-Y,” she mouthed.

“Have a weird day,” she told him when he handed her the cone.

“I already did,” he answered.

“If that guy ever broke down and smiled,” she said as we walked away, “he’d probably bust a gut.”

We stood waiting for the bus. The branches of the trees lining the street stretched spidery little tentacles rimmed with leaves toward the sun. They were trying hard. Maybe they’d make it.

“Did you ever think about living in the country?” I asked Al. “Instead of here, I mean?”

“I have,” Al said casually. “Once, when my mother and I were trying to decide whether we should move East, we rented a little house outside of L.A. We had an orange tree in our backyard.”

“An orange tree? In your own backyard?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that? That’s absolutely fabulous. Did you pick oranges off it?”

Al shrugged. “Sure. They were sour, though. We also had a walnut tree.”

“With real walnuts growing on it?” How did she take things like this so calmly?

“It wasn’t so much,” Al said. “I’d rather live here. It’s much more exciting. Have a lick.”

“You first. It’s your cone,” I said. I couldn’t get over having an orange tree plus a walnut tree in your backyard. I’d never lived anyplace that was different. Up to now I’d had a fairly boring existence.

First she took a lick, then me. It was delicious. The sun really was hot. We had to work fast.

With her tongue, Al pushed the ice cream down so nothing stuck up. It was all inside.

“It lasts longer that way,” she said.

“I think Vi’s getting bored with Ole Henry,” Al told me. Vi is her mother. Her real name’s Virginia. Ole Henry has been taking Vi out for quite a while. He’s in Sportswear. Al’s mother is in Better Dresses.

“How come?” I said.

“Well, last night he stopped by right after we’d finished dinner. His timing was a little off, which, as you know”—she gave me her owl’s eye—“doesn’t happen very often. And my mother gave him a frankfurter and some sauerkraut, and I happen to know for a fact there was plenty of roast beef left over. You should’ve seen Ole Henry’s bird-dog nose sniffing. He said, ‘I thought I smelled roast beef,’ and Vi looked straight at him and smiled and said, ‘Must be the neighbor’s.’ So that ought to tell you something. I think the romance is over.”

“Ole Henry is too old for your mother,” I said. “She looks very young for her age.”

“I’ll tell her you said that. She already likes you, but that will definitely cement your friendship,” Al said. She leaned past me. “Where’s that dumb bus?” she said.

“She likes me?” I was pleased. “I didn’t know that.” Al’s mother usually calls me “dear.” When I first knew her, I thought it was because she didn’t remember my name. But I guess she calls me “dear” because she likes me. That was nice of her.

“You’re putting me on,” I said. “Does she really like me?”

“She says you’re a good solid kid who has her head on straight.”

“That doesn’t sound like your mother,” I said.

“Actually”—Al looked over the top of her glasses at me—“she said she thought you were a very nice child with lovely manners. And you know my mother has a manners fetish.”

“No kidding? She really said that? Remind me to tell my mother.”

“She also said she liked having you drop in on her. She enjoys you, she said. But I told her she should see you when the moon is full.” Al dipped her tongue down into the cone, then handed it to me for a dip.

“And when the tide is high. I mentioned the way your fangs start growing and horns sprout out of your head and you bay at the moon when you take a minute off from stirring the foul-smelling brew in your cauldron. You know what she said?”

I shook my head.

“She said she admired you very much.”

I could feel myself blush. It’s one thing to like someone. It’s another thing entirely to admire someone.

“I don’t believe you,” I said. “Better polish off that cone. Don’t forget what happened last time.”

Al crossed her eyes. “Have I ever lied to you?” she said.

“No,” I said, “but there’s always a first time.”

“Here comes our bus,” Al said and shoved the cone into her mouth, chewing like mad.