PERFECTIONIST
LIA is obsessed with everything being “right.” She recently made a really poor, stupid decision because she wanted to be the perfect girlfriend.
Can we talk for a second? I had … I did something … bad. I did something I shouldn’t do. That I didn’t want to do. That—well, not exactly didn’t want to—well, yes, didn’t want to. I mean, I didn’t like … I had sex with someone. Someone else. Well, obviously. It’s just that … don’t be like that. Don’t be upset. I know you can’t help it, but you need to hear why. You need to know. I did it because I love you. And I want everything to be right and good between us.
That does make sense! It does! Think about it. I’m just so worried … I want things to be right with us. I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want you to hate me because I’m not good enough or something. So … that’s why I did it. Please, please, don’t be upset with me. Please! I mean, I know it was wrong, but I did it for you. I wasn’t even going to tell you, but I have to be honest with you. I had to tell you. But you have to understand that it didn’t mean anything, and I love you. Please, don’t be mad at me. Please? I can’t be without you. You’re the one I love. Please?
BEN doesn’t have his license yet, so his dad is his ride to the movies, etc. Trouble is, Ben likes things just so and his dad is the complete opposite—a joker. And the problem is just getting worse …
Dad, you’re cramping my style. I’m older now, and I really don’t want you going on dates with me. I know you have to pick me up, but this is beyond … A date is for two people! This was the worst date of my life! It’s bad enough that you have to drive me; you can’t come along on the date, too! You just kept saying how you love horror movies—Don’t you know why people go to horror movies on a date? She girl is supposed to scream and grab my hand—You ruined it, Dad!
Don’t talk to my dates. You need to be invisible. Obviously, I need you at this point because I can’t get places on my own, but … you’re just being too … friendly and nice and, well, there.
No, no! You’re taking this all wrong. This is why I didn’t want to tell you. But I had to! You’re ruining my social life!
NETTIE is one of those people best described as “well rounded.” She seems to excel at everything she does. Except for dating. She just can’t seem to attract the right guy.
This is an awful thing to say, but I don’t think I could go out with Mike. Yeah, he’s cute. But the thing is … I’m going to sound like such a snob, but he’s … not very smart. I’m too picky; I know! But I deserve a smart guy, don’t I? I’m smart, and I want someone I can talk to! I know he’s nice, but … maybe you should go out with him. He really likes me? I don’t know why. Part of me wants to say yes, I mean, I’d have a boyfriend and that would be a real load off of my mind, especially with prom coming up. But I want the right guy. No, I don’t have someone else in mind. Not exactly. I mean, not anyone who’d actually go with me.
Never mind! I never said anything. Forget it, Jeannie! I was just blabbing. OK! OK! There is … someone. But I don’t want to talk about it. You’ll laugh at me. Promise you won’t? Promise? I mean it. You’d better not if I tell you. OK.
No! Never mind! I can’t say it! It’s hopeless! Oh, Jeannie, I just can’t go out with Mike. He’s just not “it” for me.
Don’t press me anymore! I won’t tell you!
EMMA has eating disorder issues; she is consumed with controlling her food intake. She just got back home from being hospitalized with anorexia and feels her family members are scrutinizing her and judging her.
I’m not hungry, OK? Is that OK with everyone? I swear, I can’t stand the way you all watch me like a hawk. It’s like I’m a zoo exhibit or something. Let’s watch this weird female human species! What will she eat? How much? Ever since I’ve gotten back from the hospital, you’re all acting so obnoxious! I just want to be normal now. I want to be treated like a regular person. I’m OK! I feel fine! I’m eating. I am! But you need to trust me a little. I’m not hungry now, and if you make me eat, I’ll puke it up. Because I’m full not because I’m bulimic! Don’t jump to conclusions, OK? It’s really insulting. Give me a little credit. I can’t stand being judged and monitored by you all the time. I need some privacy. I don’t want you listening at the door when I go in the bathroom.
Do you know Americans are pigs? We’re the fattest people in the world. Our portions are too big. These are facts. So don’t freak out if I don’t want to eat every stupid thing on my plate! I’m doing my best, and I’d do even better if you all would just leave me alone!