20

Three days after Christmas, Ellie was making supper with Mamm and saying how good it was that Leah could get home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Her mother nodded, listening as she cooked the chicken pieces with chopped potatoes, carrots, and celery in a large saucepan, preparing to make a pot pie. “According to your Dat, Sol and his family were thrilled ’bout that, too.”

“Sol and Aaron seemed so happy to have her along for the sleigh ride over to caroling the other night,” Ellie replied while rolling out half of the pie crust to press into a deep-dish pie pan.

“Because of her, Christmas was almost as special this year as other years, at least for you,” Mamm said softly. She glanced at Ellie. “I know this one was difficult for your Dat, especially.”

Ellie nodded. “Dawdi, too.”

“So true.” Mamm paused a moment, then added, “Your father has a lot on his mind. He’s been contemplating his original intention for the management of the orchard.”

Turning her head, Ellie asked, “Oh?”

“As you can imagine, he doesn’t want to risk movin’ forward with the plan for Evan to take over, not with things so uncertain.” Mamm sighed. “I’ll just say he’s grappling with it.”

“Poor Dat,” Ellie said quietly. “But I’m sure he’ll do the right thing.”

On the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, a letter from Leah arrived, and Ellie, eager to read it, went straight into the house. She opened the envelope and began reading while standing at one end of the kitchen, waiting for the part of the floor she’d mopped earlier to dry.

Dear Ellie,

This is the first chance I’ve had to write since returning from Christmas—it’s rare for the twins and Bobby to nap all at once. But I’d like you to know that my circle of friends at the Amish church here is growing, and I recently met someone.

His name is Reuben Miller, and his Dat is one of the preachers here. We haven’t gone out yet, but he’s talked with me several times after the common meal, and, well, I can tell he likes me. (You know when a fellow looks at you a certain way.) And the truth is, I like him, too.

Since Carolyn gives me Sundays off, I’ll be able to go if Reuben ever asks me out riding after Singing. Of course, with my responsibilities, I can’t attend any of the other youth activities, but that’s all right. After all, I’m here to look after Carolyn’s children, not to be courted.

I’d thought of telling you when I was home for Christmas, but I’d known Reuben just a little while, and I wasn’t sure our relationship would go anywhere. But this past Sunday at Singing, we talked quite a lot, so I’m more certain now about his interest.

“Oh goodness,” Ellie whispered, a wave of despair threatening to wash over her. But thankfully, the rest of the letter said nothing more about Reuben Miller.

She returned the letter to the envelope and placed it on the counter. I wonder if she’s told Sol about this fellow, she thought, not wanting to be the one to reveal the possibility that his sister might fall for a beau so far away.

At the end of the first Singing of the new year, and after he’d put his hand on hers in the sleigh, Ellie wondered if Menno might ask her to go riding with him alone. She really hoped so, although they’d had so much fun doubling with other couples, especially Sol and Ruthann.

Menno was standing in the corner of the hosts’ large basement with the other fellows, all of them talking and laughing like the guys often did during refreshments.

Ruthann joined Ellie at the refreshment table for a cookie. “I wish we were goin’ out with you and Menno again,” she said softly. “But Sol didn’t bring his father’s enclosed carriage, so we must not be. I wonder why.”

“Uh, maybe he wants to spend time with you alone sometimes?” Ellie smiled at her. “Be happy.”

“I am, but ’tween you and me, Sol seems different when we’re alone.”

Ellie was surprised. “What do ya mean?”

“Not sure.” Ruthann paused. “Just not as much fun, I guess.”

“Well, double-dating is more lighthearted—everyone joins in the chatter, ya know. Serious dating is a completely different approach. And remember, there’s courting to think ’bout, eventually.”

Ruthann nodded. “Jah.” But she didn’t look convinced.

The host blew the pitch pipe, signaling it was time to return to the tables and sing for another hour.

Ellie and Ruthann took their seats and waited as the others joined them. Menno caught Ellie’s eye and smiled at her across the table, and she smiled back, though not too broadly—especially since Ruthann seemed disappointed that they weren’t going out as couples.

When the last song had been sung, the youth milled around the basement, talking and pairing up. Menno walked over to Ellie and asked if she’d like to go out riding.

She agreed, and they headed up the stairs behind Ruthann and Sol. She’ll enjoy the evening, Ellie thought, glad to have some time with just Menno at last. Hopefully, talking one-on-one tonight, they’d get to know each other better.

The night air was bitterly cold as they left the hosting farmhouse and walked to Menno’s buggy. There, he unfolded the heavy lap blankets, and Ellie was extra glad for her woolen scarf and mittens.

Under the light of the near half-moon, Menno clicked his tongue and directed the horse onto the road. He couldn’t have looked any more handsome holding the driving lines, sitting there next to her. She’d wondered how she might feel on such an outing, just the two of them.

“A real perty night,” she said softly, looking at the stars.

“And real nippy.” Menno chuckled.

Shivering, she waited for him to say more, wishing he might put his arm around her, even just to keep her warm, yet knowing he probably wouldn’t since they weren’t officially courting.

“What do ya hear from your brother these days?” Menno asked.

“Oh, he’ll be comin’ up on the end of his two months of Advanced Infantry Training soon.”

“Comin’ home for his thirty-day leave?”

“I’m guessing so.”

Menno bristled. “He hasn’t told ya? That doesn’t seem right.”

She was surprised by his response. “I’m sure a lot’s goin’ through Evan’s mind after more than three months away from home and all.”

Menno nodded. “A long time to be in a foreign land.”

“Jah, well, we all know Evan made a terrible choice,” she replied, feeling uncomfortable.

“I wonder if he’ll ever admit to makin’ a mistake.” Menno looked at her. “Has he ever said anything to you?”

The way Menno sounded just now, she really didn’t care to share the personal things Evan had written to her. So she didn’t answer his question.

“I guess it’s none of my business,” he finally said.

“Maybe we should talk ’bout something else.” She wished he hadn’t asked about Evan. It was hard enough, dealing with this strange time without her brother, and now to have to face such pointed questions from someone she liked . . . Well, it was disappointing.

“I prob’ly shouldn’t say this, but Evan’s like no other Amish fella I know. Seems awful selfish.”

Ellie pressed her lips together. “We can’t really know what another person is thinkin’ or feelin’, but he’s my twin brother, and I care ’bout him.”

Menno was quiet for a while, then said, “Must be hard for you, writing him and knowin’ what he’s putting you and your family through. I wouldn’t do it.”

She couldn’t believe how judgmental Menno sounded. “Did ya know that the bishop and others are keepin’ in touch with Evan?”

“But isn’t that just to try an’ keep him from turnin’ his back on God and the People?”

“I’d like to think it’s out of kindness and caring . . . for a young man who’s lost his way. There’s still hope, I believe.” She pushed her hands beneath the heavy lap blankets, recalling Ruthann’s peculiar remark about how things were different when she and Sol went out alone. But this isn’t only different, Ellie realized. Menno’s spouting off his true feelings . . . and it’s hurtful.

For much too long, Menno said nothing, and Ellie felt all the more annoyed. At last, she said, “Ya know, if Evan’s bad decision upsets ya so, maybe you’d rather not be around his sister.”

“You mean . . .” Menno’s tone held surprise.

She shrugged.

“Actually, Ellie, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while ’bout the shame Evan’s put on not just himself and your family but on all the People here.” Menno paused. “But I didn’t think you’d react this way . . . defending him.”

She shook her head, fuming inwardly. “Whatever he’s done, I love my brother!”

Menno murmured under his breath, and she had a pretty clear picture of what he felt toward Evan and possibly toward her and her family. Now she couldn’t wait for this evening to be over.

Another half mile, and they approached the front of her house. “Will ya let me out here?” she said.

“I’d like to walk ya to the door,” Menno said as he signaled the horse to turn into the long driveway.

When they came to a stop, Ellie pushed the lap blankets back and stepped out of the buggy. She was met in front of the mare by Menno, who walked with her toward the steps leading to the side door. “Didn’t mean to offend ya,” he said.

“Wish you’d said somethin’ before now.”

Menno looked toward the sky, then back at her. “Still, I don’t see how I can change my opinion.”

How long has he felt such resentment toward Evan? she wondered, determined not to look back as she quickly climbed the porch steps, baffled this night had made such a sudden turn. Even so, it was better to know where Menno stood than to continue hoping they might end up courting.

“Well, gut Nacht, Ellie,” she heard him say.

“S’posin’ it should be good-bye.” She opened the door and stepped inside.

———

Upstairs in her room, Ellie lit the lantern, took down her hair, and brushed it thoroughly, jittery with anger. “Calm down,” she whispered to herself as she put on her white flannel nightgown.

She slipped into bed and pulled up the blankets and quilts, then stared at where the faintest light from the moon crept around the edge of a window shade. She yawned and reached over to outen the lantern, surprised she wasn’t sorry her relationship with Menno had come to an end.

After a time, she got up and raised the shade on one of the dormer windows, then looked fondly at the expanse of orchard. Sighing with relief, she felt a surge of warmth, even contentment. “I’ll get to stay round here for longer,” she whispered.

Ellie worked alongside Dat all week, helping load the spring wagon with pruned branches on the ground beneath the apple trees. She was thankful for Evan’s old work gloves, which were a little big for her but did the job.

She didn’t tell anyone about the breakup with Menno, and she didn’t say a word to Sol about Leah’s recent letter about Reuben Miller, either. She had hoped Sol might hear about Reuben from Leah directly, considering how it could affect him and his family if she were to become serious with him. But if she had told Sol, it was a bit odd he didn’t mention it.

Ellie contemplated the fact that she was now without a boyfriend—what an odd way to start the new year! Yet there was no second-guessing that. Menno’s critical words still repeated in her memory, and she would tell Ruthann about it at some point—maybe even Sol, if he asked. After all, the grapevine would get out the news soon enough.