Cassie
I loaded Wyllie into his car seat and climbed in the passenger side. Declan looked edible. His gray sweater fit snugly against his chest, his hair effortlessly styled. I was staring, and he caught me. Luckily he didn’t call me out on it.
He checked his mirrors three times before backing out of the driveway. “It’s nerve-wracking having such precious cargo in the car with me.”
“I know. Driving a baby around is a whole different experience.” It’d taken me weeks before I felt comfortable driving him around by myself.
“I’m sure it was even worse when he was so tiny and fragile.” He looked over at me and winked. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
I shook my head and looked at my hands, “Why are you being nice to me? After what I did, you should hate me.” I didn’t deserve his sexy winks, his smiles, or his compliments. I’d lied to him about something huge. He should punish me forever.
Declan shrugged, checked his mirrors, put on his blinker, and then checked again before changing lanes. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m pissed. I’m pissed that I missed so much, I’m pissed that you made these choices for me. Pissed that you lied.”
“Pissed.” Wyllie repeated his father’s words with enthusiasm.
I looked over at Dec, lips pursed. “He’s in a repeating phase.”
“That’s exactly what I mean, Cass. I didn’t know that about him, you didn’t give me the opportunity to know that about him.”
I closed my eyes and leaned back in my seat. I wanted to just melt into it and disappear for a few days. “I know. I’m a horrible person. So, again, why are you being so nice to me?”
“Pissed.”
I turned around and shook my head at my son. “No sir, we do not say that word. That word is not nice.”
Declan grinned at Wyllie in the rearview mirror. “You did what you thought was best for you and our son. You aren’t a bad person, Cass, you just made a bad choice. You’re the mother of my child, I’ve loved you since you were six and I was nine. I don’t want to keep looking back. I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Wyllie for us to not get along, for me to hold this against you forever. I want to move forward. I want to move forward after I beat the s-h-i-t out of Brice for never mentioning you had a child. But forward all the same.”
Loved, he said it in the past tense. I didn’t blame him. How could I?
I did find it odd that Brice never told him about Wyllie. I always figured that Brice told Declan I was pregnant and that Dec didn’t really care to know any more about it. That was one of the things I would remind myself of when I would start to feel guilty for not calling him.
“You named him after me?”
“I did. I know you might not believe me, Dec, but I was always going to tell you.”
“When?”
“What?”
“When were you going to tell me about Wyllie?”
“Oh, uh, when you moved home. I thought maybe we could meet for dinner. I could tell you about Wyllie and then go from there. I don’t need anything from you…money or whatever. But I always wanted you two to have a relationship.” I bit my nail. I hadn’t bitten my nails since I was in junior high.
“What’s his middle name?”
“Brice. Wylder Brice Huntington.”
Declan glanced over at me. “His name should be Wylder Brice Preston.”
I nodded. I wouldn’t fight him on that. Declan was a good man, and he was going to be a good father. He and Wyllie could share a last name. “Yes, it should. We can change it, whenever you want.”
I looked behind me to check on Wyllie since he was so quiet, and that was unusual.
Wild man had fallen asleep.
“I had him alone. I mean, when I was in labor, it was just me and the nurses. He was two weeks early and my parents were in Mexico, and Brice was in Greece on business. They didn’t make it to Florida until the day after he was born.” I’d never felt sorry for myself, I was always proud of what I’d been able to do. But now, sitting here with Dec, I wished he’d been there. I glanced over at him, and his eyes were filled with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. “I know you are. Tell me about it, tell me about the day he was born, please.”
I took a deep breath and smiled at the memory. “It was the middle of September, his birthday is September eighteenth, by the way, and it was warm outside. I was huge. None of my maternity clothes felt comfortable, and my back hurt. So I put on my bikini and got in my pool. Nothing ever felt so good as floating weightless in that cool water. I stayed in there all afternoon.
“When I got out, I showered and changed, did some laundry. When I was making dinner my water broke. I remember thinking, damn I should clean that up before I leave, but then the contractions started and cleaning was the last thing on my mind. I drove myself to the hospital, checked in, and by the time I got to my room I was already five centimeters dilated. My labor went fast. I got an epidural. I watched Friends reruns. I pushed about a million times and then he was here. He was so tiny. He weighed five pounds, twelve ounces and was eighteen inches long. He’s had that head full of dark hair since the day he was born.”
Declan parked the SUV expertly in a tiny parking spot. He placed his hand on my face, stroking my cheekbone lightly. “I would have told you I was proud of you. If I’d been there. I would have told you how strong you were, how good you did.” He let his hand drop, and my heart followed.