Cassie
After Dec put his jealousy on the back burner, dinner was great. We laughed; we caught up. I told him more about my pregnancy with Wyllie, and more about what it was like when he was a tiny baby. I could see Declan’s emotions battling in his eyes. Clearly, he was happy to hear about these memories, but sad that they were mine and not ours. I understood where his reservations came from. I understood why he was somewhat unsure about what he wanted from me. I didn’t fault him for it. But that didn’t mean that I could deal with it either. I needed certainty and stability and control. That wasn’t what Declan was offering me right now. He was offering me friendship and passion and fun. All of those things were too reckless for me, for a mother. I wanted him in my life. I wanted him in Wyllie’s life.
But I needed Declan out of my bed.
***
“Hold on there, Romeo.” Declan followed me into my room and started to peel his shirt over his head when I stopped him. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had fun with you these past couple of days and, uh, nights. But I think we need to take a step back.”
His lower lip came forward like he was about to start pouting. “A step back to where?”
I sat on the edge of my bed, and he sat next to me. I scooted away from him. He followed.
“I can’t keep sleeping with you, Declan. I understand that you want to take things slow and that you need to sort some things out in your head. But having sex isn’t helping. Either of us.”
He scoffed. “I beg to differ, princess.”
“You know what I mean, Dec. It blurs the lines, it confuses things.” I took a deep breath. Huge mistake. He smelled so damn good. I felt a shiver run through my body.
He ran his hand up my back and cupped my neck, his fingers threading through my hair. He leaned close and put his lips to my ear. “Please don’t ask me to give you up, Cassie. I need you, I feen for you.” He kissed my neck. “All day, all I can think about is getting you alone. Your taste, the way you feel inside. Baby, please?”
My traitorous body started to give in. My pulse quickened and my insides heated up. I wanted him too, so badly. It would be so easy, feel so good. Declan could make the world go away, he could take all of our problems and doubts and fears and make them disappear. His touch did that to me. But then what? When we were done and he was sleeping soundly beside me, my mind would be racing.
“I’m sorry, Dec. I just can’t. You need to go sleep in another room.”
His whole body deflated. He leaned down and put his head in his hands, pulling his hair. “Cassie, I, uh, well, I can’t go sleep in another room. What would your parents think? We’re supposed to be getting married in a couple of days. And all of a sudden I sleep in another room? I’ll keep my hands to myself. But I need to stay in here.”
Crap balls. He was right. Well, this was going to be enjoyable. Not. “Yeah, okay. Just stay on your side of the bed.”
He held his hands up. “I’ll behave.”
I nodded and got to my feet. “Thank you.”
I headed to the bathroom and got ready for bed. I knew I’d made the right choice for myself, and for Wyllie. And really, once Dec got over his blue balls, he’d see that I’d made the right choice for him too.
I turned out the light and got in bed next to Dec.
Next to handsome, sexy, yummy-smelling Dec.
Tonight was gonna suck.