Cassie
“Wyllie.” I shot upright in bed, clutching my heart.
“Cassie? What’s wrong?” Declan sat up next to me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm.
“Oh, ugh, I’m sorry. I had a nightmare, I guess.” It wasn’t often that I had bad dreams, but every time I did they were the same. Wyllie needed me and I couldn’t get to him. I could hear him crying but I couldn’t help him. It was the worst, most helpless feeling. I grabbed my phone and pulled up his baby monitor app; he was asleep in his Pack ’n Play in my parents’ room.
“Is he okay? Are you okay?”
I showed Declan my phone and lay back down. “I’m fine. Sorry I woke you.” Oh crap, here it comes. After I had a bad dream, after I realized everyone was okay, I always cried. I turned on my side to hide my tears. He put his arm around my waist, pulling me against his hard body. “Dec, I don’t—”
“Cassie, you had a bad dream. You scared the crap out of me. Can you just let me hold you for a few minutes? I won’t try anything.”
He kissed the top of my head and snuggled in next to me. It felt good. It felt damn good. And in that moment, I wanted him so badly I ached. I wanted his love and his affection, his touch and his kisses. I wanted to be his forever, and he still wasn’t sure if he wanted me.
Dammit.
Now I was crying harder.
“Cassie? Are you crying? What’s wrong, princess?” He scooted over and rolled me onto my side facing him. With his thumbs, he wiped the tears off my cheeks then, tenderly, he brushed the hair back off my face.
“I’m sorry. This happens sometimes after I have a nightmare.” Or when I slept next to the man I wanted so bad my bones ached. And knowing he didn’t want me the same way? Yeah, I cried. “I guess it’s just the fear mixed with the relief that everything is okay.”
Declan looked from my eyes to my mouth, and back again. “I know I said I wouldn’t but I’m going to kiss you, I need to kiss you, Cassie. It’s been two days and I’m going out of my damn mind.”
“Declan, please, I don’t—”
He didn’t give me a chance to finish my plea; he joined his mouth to mine, and instantly I was lost.
I opened for him when he asked me to. I matched his passion, tongue stroke with tongue stroke. Both of us pouring all the words we weren’t saying into this one kiss.
His tongue danced with mine, his hands wrapped around my body, pulling me tight against him. I could feel what this kiss was doing to him; I could feel his hard length pressed against my stomach.
We kissed and touched for what seemed like only seconds. All too soon he was gone. He pulled back with one final chaste kiss on the lips then he spun me away from him and dragged my limp body back against his front.
***
The next morning I woke up alone and tangled in our sheets. Sun was coming in through the window and I could hear Wyllie’s laughter down the hall. I got up and tiptoed to his room then peered around the doorframe. Declan was on the floor trying to wrestle Wyllie into his clothes. Wyllie kept running away and cracking up about it. I walked in and sat on the glider. Wyllie ran to me and hugged my legs. “He hates getting dressed in the mornings. This kid would live naked if he could. He’s a beach baby through and through.”
Declan chuckled. “I can see that. So what’s the trick?”
I smiled and held out my hand for Wyllie’s clothes. “Hey, wild man, here are your clothes.” I waited for him to disengage from my legs then I handed them off. He sat on the floor and struggled trying to get his pants on; he put both legs in the same hole. When he couldn’t get his shirt to even open up, he started to whine. “Oh, did you need some help?” He tried to stand but couldn’t get up because of his pants situation. “Would you like Mommy to help you get dressed?”
“No. Daddy help Wyllie.” Wyllie kind of hop/rolled over to Declan so he could help his son fix his clothes. The huge grin on Declan’s face was adorable. Wyllie picked him over me for the first time.
I shrugged. “He’s like most men. As long as he thinks it’s his idea, he cooperates.” I grabbed Wyllie’s diaper bag off the dresser and started going through it, making sure that Dec would have everything he needed for the day. “So I’ll pack an extra change of clothes just in case, and there are diapers and wipes and an emergency pacifier. Antibacterial hand sanitizer. Use it. When we go downstairs I’ll get a snack and a sippy cup. There will be four of you to watch him I’m sure—”
Declan crossed the room and silenced me with a kiss. It was meant to be sweet, reassuring, but it made my blood heat. I felt chills run through my body. God, I loved having his mouth on mine.
Why did I tell him we couldn’t have sex anymore?
“Cassie, I got this. Don’t worry about Wyllie, we are going to have a great day. Just stay here and relax. Go take a nice hot bath.” He took the diaper bag off my shoulder and grabbed onto Wyllie’s hand. “Come on, wild man, we’re having a boys day. Tell Mommy bye.”
I knelt down in front of my perfect little boy—our perfect little boy. “Have fun with Daddy, buddy. I’ll see you later. Be good.” I kissed his cheeks before standing to face Declan. “He gets super cranky when he’s ready for a nap, the stroller is in the hall closet by the front door. And don’t forget the sippy cup.” I held my hands up in surrender when Dec rolled his eyes. “Just reminders, that’s all. I trust you completely.” Plus Brice had watched him tons of times and he would be there too.
He smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me in for another sweet kiss.
Were we doing this now? Kissing all casually?
“Try to relax, Cassie.”
And with that my two favorite boys left.
I was alone in Wyllie’s extravagant room at my parents’ house.
I felt kind of lonely.