Chapter Two
Reuben tapped the last nail into Thunder’s left, rear shoe then extended his hand. “I understand your apprehension, but Eli can’t take you as his alpha until you prove you can shift.”
“There’s no proof that mating will release my wolf.” River took the hammer from Reuben and handed him the rasp.
“We won’t know until you try.”
“I don’t want to try.” The thought of allowing Eli, or any other man, to violate her body made River’s skin crawl.
Reuben lowered Thunder’s foot to the ground then moved to the other side. “I know it’s a sacrifice. But maybe you could get drunk first and imagine that Eli is Jonathan.”
“That won’t work.”
“Again, you won’t know until you try.”
Reuben was wrong, but there was no point arguing with him. “Have you heard any news about Gabriel?”
“No.”
Gabriel had taken off when River agreed to be Eli’s mate. He’d been gone four weeks. “If you’d just let me—”
“No.” Reuben tapped on Thunder’s old shoe with the hammer, loosening it, then pulled the nails. “Your job is to figure out how to shift. Not to go traipsing off after my stubborn son. He’ll come home when he’s cooled off.”
“Maybe I can do both.”
Reuben glanced at River out of the corner of his eye. “How?”
“My wolf has been urging me to head east. The desire has been getting more intense every day. If it gets much stronger, I won’t be able to resist. Maybe she knows something I don’t. And maybe that something will help me shift. I can look for Gabriel as I travel.”
“You’re too weak to ride alone.” Reuben picked up the nippers and trimmed the edge of Thunder’s hoof. “I need to re-shoe half the stable and two mares are ready to foal any day. I can’t leave.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Can you even string your bow?”
“I can string it, draw it and put an arrow through a rotten potato fifty yards away.” She could only do it twice before her trembling muscles destroyed her aim. But Reuben didn’t need to know that.
“Any idea how far east your wolf wants you to go?”
“None whatsoever.”
“It’s been warm the past few weeks, but we could still have a blizzard or two before the weather settles.” Reuben studied Thunder’s hoof then ran the rasp over the left sidewall.
“I’ll take a winter pack, just in case.”
“Sanctuary will be open soon. I don’t like the idea of you traveling alone.”
River rolled her eyes. “The heirs never wander more than a few miles from the door this early in the season. I’ll be fine.”
Reuben lowered Thunder’s foot then put both hands on his lower back and stretched. “Take two weeks of rations and a winter pack.”
“Thank you.” River gave Reuben a quick hug then scurried out of the stable before he could change his mind.
~***~
River rode for three days before she realized that her wolf was taking her to the place where she and Jonathan first met. By the time she arrived, her heart ached so badly she could barely breathe.
River dismounted and tied Sugar to the trunk of an aspen tree with a lead rope. They’d both already drank their fill from a nearby stream so River fed Sugar her evening ration of oats and grabbed a chunk of jerky for herself. She sat at the base of the cliff and leaned her back against it as she ate. The heat of the sun-warmed rock soothed her tired muscles. River smiled as she remembered how Jonathan had risked his life to save her from an angry cougar. She’d gladly fight a dozen cougars for just one more day with him. They’d only had a few months together but he’d be a part of her forever.
The smile slid off her face. The fact that so few of her people even knew Jonathan existed magnified her sorrow.
Shula stole Jonathan’s body before River had the chance to say good bye. There was no cremation ceremony, no memorial service. And worst of all, no monument to bear witness of Jonathan’s short life.
But River could change that. She pulled her knife out and moved to the far left side of the cliff. The world fell away as she painstakingly scraped each word into the rock.
This is the place where we met. And this is our story.
She worked until the sun set then built a fire and continued to chip away at the stubborn rock. By the time she finished the next morning, River’s knife was ruined. Her hand was bloody and blistered. Her neck and shoulders were stiff and sore. But her heart was lighter than it had been since she’d learned of Jonathan’s death.
She didn’t want to sabotage the rebellion before it began so she omitted any identifying details, including her and Jonathan’s names and any mention of the son of Ephraim. They would be forgotten with the passage of time, but their story would remain until long after they’d all turned to ash.
~***~
River’s wolf remained quiet while she worked on Jonathan’s monument. But as soon as she carved the final word, her wolf insisted they resume their journey. Physical exhaustion was no excuse. The urge to travel reminded River of the pull she felt when her wolf first called to her.
River took care of Sugar’s needs then headed east. As the day progressed, Sugar became more difficult to handle. The distant howl of a wolf revealed the reason.
River’s wolf wanted out. It wanted to tear across the ground and eat up the miles separating her from her mate. River hopped off Sugar and tied her to the broken stump of an ancient pine tree. Sugar wasn’t happy about the situation, but all River could think about was finding her wolf’s distressed mate. He continued to howl, but didn’t move toward her. He couldn’t. Something was holding him back.
River stripped then tried to shift. Her wolf strained to be free but even working together, they couldn’t force the change. She’d have to continue on foot. River got dressed, but left her pack on the ground. She didn’t want anything to slow her down. Her wolf’s mate needed them. She grabbed her bow and quiver full of arrows then took off.
The sound of barking and growling replaced her mate’s howls. River broke through the trees into a clearing and nearly ran into Gabriel’s horse, Lightning. He rolled his white rimmed eyes at her and tossed his head, jerking the rope that tied him to the stout trunk of a bristlecone pine.
“Easy, boy.” River held her arms out to the side and slowly approached. Her wolf urged River to forget about the silly animal and focus on finding her mate.
River ignored the wolf. “Gabriel? Where are you?”
Gabriel’s head suddenly appeared from behind a rock. His smile lit up his entire face. “River!”
Her wolf’s mate barked and growled. The sound echoed off the rocks.
Gabriel ran to River, threw his arms around her and lifted her off her feet. “I knew you’d come.”
“Put me down.” River pushed against Gabriel’s chest, but it didn’t do any good. He was a solid wall of muscle.
He buried his face in her neck then drew in a deep, noisy breath. “You smell so good.”
Uh-oh. River leaned away from him. “What’s going on?”
“I caught a wolf. I’m going to merge and I want you to break my fever.”
“Gabe.” River shook her head. “I can’t. Jonathan…”
“It’ll be okay.” Gabriel set River on her feet, but he held onto her waist. “I promise.”
“You trapped Jonathan’s wolf, didn’t you?”
“I know I’m a poor substitute, but since your wolf is mated to that one,” he pointed over his shoulder, “when I merge with him, your wolf will be attracted to mine.”
River cupped his cheeks with her palms. “I can’t let you do that.”
Gabriel jerked his head out of River’s hands. “You can’t stop me.”
“You don’t want to bind yourself to me.”
“Don’t pretend you know what I want.” Gabriel’s brown eyes flashed with red light. Such close contact with Jonathan’s wolf must have triggered pre-merge fever.
“I’m sorry.” River held her hands up, palms out. “But that wolf belongs to Jonathan.”
“Jonathan’s dead.”
River gasped. Gabriel had never purposely hurt her before. “I can’t believe you said that.”
He closed his glowing eyes and lowered his chin. “I can’t either.”
River took his hand. “My heart belongs to Jonathan. I will never love another man.”
Gabriel nodded. “I know that. But I love you enough for both of us.”
“You’re breaking my heart.”
“Then let me put it back together.”
“It’s too late.”
“I know you have to be Eli’s alpha mate, but I also know he doesn’t expect you to mate with him.”
“How do you know that?”
“He told me.”
River’s eyes widened. “Why would he do that?”
“He doesn’t want to fight me.”
“Did you challenge him?” The ancient law that allowed two men to fight for breeding rights was rarely called upon. It was a fight to the death.
Gabriel jerked his chin up. “I would have, but I didn’t need to. Eli is the one that suggested I merge with Jonathan’s wolf.”
“Eli’s an arrogant jackass and an idiot.”
Gabriel wrapped his fingers around River’s shoulders. “It’s no secret how badly I want you.”
“You’re fifteen—”
“Sixteen.”
River squeezed her eyes shut. “Your birthday was last week.”
Gabriel shrugged, but he didn’t reply.
“You shouldn’t try to merge until next summer. Even then, it’ll still be risky.”
“I’m big for my age.”
“Does Reuben know what you’re trying to do?”
Gabriel snorted. “What do you think?”
“I think you have a death wish.”
Jonathan’s wolf howled. He’d been quiet while River and Gabriel argued, but they’d apparently worn out his patience.
River stepped to the side to go around Gabriel.
He grabbed her arm. “Don’t go near him.”
“He needs me.”
“He’s the most aggressive wolf I’ve ever seen.”
“How long have you had him trapped?”
“I was waiting for you to find us.”
“How long?”
Gabriel shrugged his shoulders. “Three days after I left.”
River’s wolf bristled. How dare this pup trap her mate? River glared at Gabriel. “Let go.”
“He’s dangerous.”
“Not to me.”
Gabriel sighed then took River’s hand. “I’ll take you. But stay behind me.”
River let him lead her by the hand like a child into a small cave. When her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she saw Jonathan’s wolf pacing back and forth in a small enclave…behind a makeshift gate.
She jerked her hand out of Gabriel’s and ran to the cage. She yanked the gate open and fell on her knees. The wolf butted her chest with his head, knocking her onto her back. He whined and yipped as he licked every inch of her face.
River laughed as she tried to dodge his slobbery tongue. “I’m glad to see you, too.”
The black wolf froze and planted his front paws on either side of River’s head. He bared his teeth and growled.
“No.” River shoved her hands into the wolf’s thick ruff and gave him a firm shake. She knew without looking that Gabriel was near. “Shut the gate.”
“I’m not leaving you in there with that beast.”
“He’s not going to hurt me.”
The wolf’s growl deepened as he crouched. River clenched her fists even tighter into his fur then sat up. “Gabe!”
Gabriel closed the gate, but didn’t drop the locking bar into place. He reached through the slats and wiggled his fingers at River. “Come on. Get out of there.”
River didn’t want to leave the black beast. Neither did her wolf. But she didn’t want to risk Gabriel’s safety. She let go of the wolf’s fur and stood up.
The wolf lunged at the gate. Gabriel jerked his hand back, but not before the wolf got a piece of him. Gabe threw the gate open and pounced on the wolf.
“No!” River screamed as she dove into the maelstrom of teeth, claws, fur and fists.
A sharp, stabbing pain shot down River’s arm. The fighting stopped.
Gabriel pulled River onto his lap.
Jonathan’s wolf cocked his head to the side and whined.
River nodded at the open gate. “Go.”
The wolf whined once more, licked River’s cheek then bounded out of the cage.
Gabriel leaned over and kissed her brow. “You shouldn’t have interfered.”
“You were trying to merge with Jonathan’s wolf.”
The tenderness in Gabriel’s voice disappeared. “I was merging with my wolf. You distracted me.”
River fought the urge to submit to Gabriel’s alpha energy. “You had no right to claim that animal.”
“I had every right.”
“You selfish son of a bitch.”
Gabriel’s eyes flashed red.
River ignored the silent warning. “If you merged, you would have forced me to mate with you.”
“You know damn well I’d never force any woman, least of all you, even if it cost me my life.”
River had never heard Gabriel swear before. The word itself didn’t offend her. Jonathan said ‘damn’ all the time. But the fact that Gabriel used it proved how much he’d changed. She didn’t like it.
She put her hands on his chest and shoved herself off his lap. Her arm throbbed. She ignored the pain and the blood dripping off her fingertips. “I would have had to choose between mating with you or watching you die from merge fever.”
“It would have been your choice.”
“You know damn well that’s no choice at all.”
The fire in Gabriel’s eyes flared then settled into a quiet glow. “It doesn’t matter. My wolf is long gone. He’s too smart to let anyone trap him again.”
River wanted to remind him that the black wolf wasn’t his but didn’t want to antagonize him. She pointed at his hand. “We need to clean that bite before it gets infected.”
“Your arm needs stitches.”
River looked at her torn flesh for the first time. Gabriel was right. She hoped Jonathan’s wolf didn’t feel bad for biting her. It was her fault for jumping into the mix without warning.
Gabriel swept River off her feet. He carried her out of the cage and laid her on a buffalo robe. She’d been so focused on Jonathan’s wolf that she hadn’t noticed the rest of the cave. Gabriel had obviously been living there.
He tossed a log on top of a bed of glowing coals. “I’ll go fetch some water so we can clean these wounds.”
~***~
River spent the night with Gabriel in his cave but refused to share his buffalo robe. He refused to lay on it without her, so it went unused. Neither of them slept. He’d done a decent job of cleaning and stitching her wound but it still throbbed. He walked with her to the horses. River was grateful he’d moved Sugar closer after he finished bandaging her arm. She brushed a wisp of hair off his forehead. “I wish you’d come home with me.”
“I need to figure a few things out first.” Gabriel’s sad smile tugged at River’s heart. “Tell Pa I’ll be home in time to help cut the hay.”
“You’ll run out of rations before then.”
“Stop nagging, woman.” Gabriel’s grin was a little more convincing this time. “I’ll bag a deer as soon as you get out of my hair.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to bring you more rations?”
Gabriel nodded at River’s bandaged arm. “I doubt Pa will let you go anywhere without a chaperone.”
He laced his fingers then squatted next to Sugar.
River could mount any horse by herself, but her arm was already throbbing. She put one foot in his hands and swung her other leg over Sugar’s back as Gabriel stood up.
“Safe journey.” He squeezed River’s knee then slapped Sugar’s rump.
River called, “You too,” over her shoulder and settled in for a long, painful ride. First stop, Jonathan’s monument.
River traced the words with her finger as she read them again. “I’m so sorry, Jonathan. I hope you find peace. I also hope you can forgive me.” River’s throat tightened. She couldn’t force the words out of her mouth. But if Jonathan’s spirit was aware of her at all, he wouldn’t need to hear her words. He’d know what was in her heart. He’d know that her decision to mate with Eli would destroy what was left of her shattered soul. But since she still couldn’t shift, it was a sacrifice she needed to make to save New Eden.
River’s heart grew heavier with each passing mile. She felt as if she were heading to the gallows instead of Eli’s bed. The trail of smoke in the air meant Reuben was working in the smithy. She gave it a wide berth as she headed to the stable. She fed and rubbed down Sugar then cleaned out every stall in the stable, even though none of them needed it. When she ran out of excuses, River trudged up the hill to go find Reuben.
She opened the door of the smithy then waited for him to finish whatever he was working on.
He pounded a red-hot bar of iron over the rounded tip of his anvil then plunged it into a barrel of water. “Glad to know you’re still in one piece.”
“More or less.”
Reuben spun around. His gaze locked on River’s torn and blood-stained sleeve. He wove his way to her then gently untied the drawstring of her tunic and slipped it off her shoulder. “What happened?”
River held the front of her tunic against her chest as Reuben unwound the bandage on her arm.
“Jonathan’s wolf bit me.”
Reuben’s eyebrows shot up. “Start at the beginning.”
River told him everything, including how she’d created a monument for Jonathan and her decision to mate with Eli. She also told him about Gabriel’s plan to merge with Jonathan’s wolf.
He listened without comment until she finished then said, “I’ll send Jesse out to go find Gabriel.”
“Please don’t punish him.”
“I imagine he’s punished himself enough that I won’t need to add to his pain.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Reuben lifted River’s chin with his finger. “Paul and I will move into the bunkhouse for a few days.”
“What for?”
“To give you and Eli some privacy.”
“Oh.” River didn’t want privacy. She just wanted it to be over.
Reuben wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck then pressed her head against his chest. His voice was gruff. “I’m so proud of you.”
River was glad Reuben was proud of her, but all she felt was an overwhelming sense of shame. “I’d like to try your suggestion.”
Reuben leaned back and looked down into her eyes. “Which one?”
“I want to get drunk.”
He nodded. “I’ll put a couple bottles of wine in your room.”
~***~
Eli lowered himself onto the edge of the bed and laid a cool, wet rag over River’s brow. “Keep your eyes open if you don’t want to puke again.”
She dug her fingers into the mattress as the room continued to spin. “How can anyone think this is fun?”
“No one thinks this is fun. But most people don’t drink an entire bottle of blackberry wine in one evening.”
“I hate blackberries.”
“I’m sure you do.” Eli chuckled then took another swig of wine from his own bottle. It was still half full.
“I hate myself, too.”
“Ah, sweetheart, don’t say that.”
“It’s true.” River’s voice quivered. Jonathan used to call her sweetheart. “I’m no better than a common whore.”
Eli hardened his voice. “A whore has no choice.”
“Neither do I.”
Eli got out of bed and limped across the room. His broken leg had healed, but the residual pain altered his gate. He braced his palms against the wall, took three heaving breaths then drew back his arm and slammed his fist into the door. “You came to me!”
River flinched. Suddenly, a little less drunk.
Eli punched the door again. “Do you think any of the men inside Sanctuary waited for Aspen to offer herself up to them?”
River had forgotten about Aspen. She didn’t have to service anyone but Eli because of his exclusive contract, but she’d been sentenced to the whorehouse right after Paul’s birth. Who knew how many men had taken her against her will? “I’m sorry.”
“Not half as sorry as I am.” Eli flung the door open then stormed out as fast as his damaged leg allowed.