Chapter 23
By the time Pill came home, Corey had marinated in his anger for two days. He had underestimated how close Pill and Rico had gotten before they met, and she had downplayed it. The thought of his cousin touching his wife, knowing her in that way, had made him physically ill. As he nursed himself back to health, he remembered one of the first conversations he had with her. Corey had been so relieved to find she had left the club without Rico that night and hadn’t looked back. He never really asked about their relationship before then.
Seeing her stunning profile underneath a spunky new haircut almost diffused his anger. He imagined meeting her at the door and helping her with her bags that had multiplied since the time she’d left. He imagined her giving him an earnest hug, and him bending down to kiss her graciously.
He imagined this was who he was. He imagined them settling in. He imagined watching her warm a plate of leftover carryout, and him listening attentively as she explained the hustle and bustle backstage at the fashion show.
Pill was talking, but all he could hear was Rico. She had come back to him. He watched her finger the edges of her bangs that barely hung over her hairline now. He took that as a sign that maybe she worried he wouldn’t like the new look. Maybe she had something to tell him, he thought, some grave admission.
Who he really was didn’t let what Rico shared with him ooze, sprout, or trickle into the conversation. It erupted like a volcano that had been harboring, broke free like a dam that had been welled up. He lashed out like a fire in back draft before she could make a cup of hot tea.
“I hear you saw my cousin while you were down there,” Corey said. “I want to know what in the heck you’ve been doing up there for the past week that you couldn’t call.”
His tone caused her to raise a perfectly arched eyebrow in indignation. “Yeah, I saw him. What’s with the attitude?”
“He called me, eager to tell me,” Corey said, watching her every move from his dinette stool, the muscles in his lower back sending off a flaming alarm that he ignored. “I was wondering if you were going to tell me.”
“Maybe, maybe not. That was how insignificant our encounter was to the whole weekend. Weren’t you listening?”
“Oh yeah, I was listening. Listening to hear you gloss over the fact that you were in the company of your ex-boyfriend. You belong to me, and I have to find out from my cousin, who I barely speak to, that you all are having a family reunion in D.C.”
“Excuse you? I belong to you? I’m not some store purchase,” Pill corrected. Her hand was propped on her hip, empty teacup and all.
That’s right, I paid the price for you, Corey thought. They were on opposite ends of the kitchen, but they were in a standoff. Like in a western movie, they sized each other up.
“Oh, whatever, Pill, you know what I mean,” he shouted.
Didn’t she get the point? Rico had won out again. He had literally beaten him to the punch. No man should have to live in the shadow of another all his life.
“Your cousin is dating M. Rose, the model I was styling. Did he tell you that? Heck, to her, they are practically married. I don’t even know why were discussing him.”
Corey watched Pill as she placed the teacup on the counter. She grabbed a small pot from the pantry and began to fill it to half full with water.
“When are we going to discuss him, huh? When are we going to do anything that First Lady Rawls suggested we do? I was in prayer while you were off in D.C. This relationship happens to be important to me. Working things out is important to me,” Corey said, throwing it back in her court.
“The timing of the hair show was awful, I know, but what was I supposed to do?” She would have shrugged if it wasn’t for the pot of water she held in her hand.
Corey was getting a clear picture of himself, but he turned a blind eye. He knew he should push through his insecurities like he was pushing through his back pain, but he wouldn’t let this go. “Rico is the reason you’re so mistrusting, isn’t he? In fact, he’s probably to blame for a number of problems we are having except you didn’t seem to have those problems with him. All I know is he had a heck of a lot to say about when the two of you were dating. Things you used to do. Seems like seeing you sparked a memory.”
She stared at him as if he mentioned the devil in the midst of a love song. It took a lot of effort for her to set the pot down on the stove without dropping it. It also took awhile for her to close her mouth.
“Wow, okay.” She rested against the stove. “And I thought I was in the one place I wouldn’t feel any condemnation from my past. What are you getting at, Corey? Do you want to know if I liked him, loved him, still love him? Do you want to know if I slept with him?”
Corey stared at her unwaveringly. He wanted to say any answer was a good place to start, but he was afraid to hear her reply. “You better tell me something.”
“He was my first, okay. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not studying Rico. I haven’t in over two years. Your cousin is a dog. He juggles women like he dribbles a basketball, in a steady and repeated pattern. You know that though, you were his wingman, right? I’m sure you dribbled a ball or two as well, but I’m not judging you.” She was yelling now, which was uncharacteristic for her. “One thing about Rico, though; he doesn’t come with any pretense, but you do. You were supposed to be my Christian knight in shining armor. You were the one who told me I could ask God for forgiveness, use the Dumpster to get rid of my toxins and my past, and be forgiven. I guess just not by my own husband.”
She compounded his pain with her words. His Christian witness was wrecked, both on the job and at home. He knew that now. His pride wouldn’t allow her to play the victim, though. He was the victim.
“I came home with two medals and a share in the trophy that now sits at Carmen’s Epic Beauty. Trust me when I tell you, I was in D.C. handling my business,” Pill continued. “It sounds as if you wouldn’t know anything about trust, though. You want to know the worst part? You were fully aware I dated Rico before you. Matter of fact, I was the one who thought it was a bad idea to hook up in the first place because of it. I knew you would throw this back in my face.”
Sort of like how Rico threw it in my face, Corey thought.
This was a defining moment. His mind was plagued with the words, Chocolate’s birthmark. Now, two more words stuck out in his mind, bad idea. It was time for him to speak. “Seems to me that this thing with Rico will always be between us. I will always wonder where your heart is at.”
“Talk about mistrusting,” Pill said, preparing to storm out of the kitchen. “Rico is your hang-up, not mine.”
Spasm and all, he caught her arm as she tried to walk by. “Well, how about this one? You can just tell First Lady on Monday we’ve assessed the past, and, as you put it, our relationship was all a bad idea.”