16. Overcome Negative Bias and Stay Motivated

As humans, we tend to pay more attention to negative experiences than to positive or neutral ones. We often focus on the negative things even when they’re insignificant or inconsequential, making them seem much more important than they really are. 46 Psychologists refer to this as “negative bias,” and it can have a powerful effect on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

One theory on why humans concentrate on the bad things and overlook the good things is that it may simply be the brain’s way of keeping us safe. 47 Earlier in human history, threats from the outside world were literally a matter of life or death. Those individuals who were more attuned to danger or who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive. However, unlike our ancestors, we no longer need to constantly be on high alert to survive, so this hard-wired tendency is not as useful as it once was. In fact, our brain’s well-intentioned tendency to overemphasize the negative can be counterproductive to our goals. Fortunately, we can overcome our brain’s negative bias so we can stay motivated and consistent with exercise.

How to Overcome Negative Bias

The first thing you can do to overcome negative bias is to become aware of any negative internal dialogue and replace it with positive self-talk. Start paying attention to the type of thoughts that run through your mind. If you notice negative thoughts about exercise, stop them immediately and replace them with a positive affirmation. Imagine you catch yourself thinking “I don’t feel like exercising today.” You can stop that thought and replace it with “I always feel great after exercise.” If your brain is telling you “I’m feeling tired,” you can replace that thought with “Exercise energizes me.” The key is to stop the negative self-talk as soon as you catch it and immediately replace it with positive self-talk that resonates with you.

The second thing you can do to overcome negative bias is to give extra attention to the good things that happen during exercise or as a result of exercise. Because negative experiences are more easily stored in your long-term memory, you need to make more effort to remember positive experiences. So when something good happens during or because of exercise, take a moment to really focus on it. Replay the moment several times in your mind, and notice the wonderful feelings the memory evokes. In other words, celebrate it.

For example, if you notice that you were able to push out one additional repetition of an exercise than in a previous session, celebrate it. If you notice yourself getting up from a chair more easily because you’re getting stronger with exercise, take a moment to celebrate it. On the other hand, if you didn’t improve, or maybe even went backward a little on your performance compared with a previous session—as sometimes happens—take note of it, and then shift your attention to one of the good results of exercise instead.

Why You Should Focus on Positive Self-Talk

Research in the workplace shows that when the ratio of positive and negative interactions is about five to one, people feel motivated to continue doing what they’re doing well and do it with more vigor and determination. 48 Psychologist John Gottman found something similar in the domestic setting: the single biggest determinant of whether a relationship endures is the ratio of positive to negative comments the partners make to one another—the optimal ratio being five positive comments for every negative one. 49

Clearly, in both work and life, positive and negative experiences have an important impact on success or failure. Imagine what we can achieve by changing our relationship with exercise from a negative to a positive one!

By replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk and by giving extra attention to the good things that result from exercise, you will overcome your brain’s negative bias so you can stay motivated and be more consistent with exercise.

Key Takeaways

• Negative bias is the human tendency to pay more attention to negative experiences, making them seem more important than they are. You can overcome your brain’s negative bias so you can stay motivated and consistent with exercise.
• Overcome negative bias by stopping negative self-talk and replacing it with positive self-talk. For example, if you catch yourself thinking “I don’t feel like exercising today,” you can replace that thought with “I always feel great after exercise.”
• Give extra attention to good things that happen during exercise or as a result of exercise. For example, if you notice that you were able to push out one additional repetition of an exercise than in a previous session, take a moment to celebrate it.

Action Steps

• Pay attention to the type of thoughts that run through your mind over the next 24 hours, and keep track of how many are positive and how many are negative. Is the ratio of positive to negative self-talk anywhere close to five to one? You can do this assessment with any thoughts, not just those related to exercise.
• See what changes mentally, emotionally, and physically when you improve the ratio of positive to negative self-talk over the next 24 hours. You can do this by catching negative self-talk and replacing it with positive self-talk and by giving extra attention to good things that happen throughout your day. Apply what you learn from this to exercise.
• If you’re a family member or a caregiver for an older adult you’d like to help with exercise, assist them with applying what you’ve learned here to stay motivated with exercise.

In part 3, you’ve learned several important strategies for winning the mental game of exercise. In part 4, I’ll show you the nuts and bolts of the six-minute workout.