Your Badass
Ancestor Altar
If you’re going to be working with your ancestors, you should give them a place of honor in your home. After all, each member of your living family has their own space, so why can’t your ancestors? Your ancestor altar can be either permanent or temporary, depending on both your need and the availability of usable space. Setting up an ancestral altar is beneficial for a number of reasons.
First of all, it will allow you to have a designated area in which to do your spiritual work. This is important, because just like any other aspect of your spirituality, there is magic to be found in the routine and repetitive. The altar forms the cornerstone of ritual practice. This, in turn, gives you the opportunity to develop your relationship with each member of your extended clan you want to work with. They know where their spot is in your home, and it’s theirs because you’ve offered it to them.
Having an altar to your kinfolk also confers a certain degree of protection upon your home, your family, and everything you own because you’re giving those ancestral spirits the chance to be an active part of your life. That means they’ll protect the space in which they are loved and revered and honored. Your home becomes their home, and they’ll watch out for it, and everything—and everyone—contained within.
Finally, having that ancestral altar in place will allow you greater access to your peoples’ wisdom, experience, and guidance. After all, if you’ve got an ancestor altar right there in your living room, it’s ever-present, and you can talk to and work with them at a moment’s notice.
Some people do ancestor work every day, some approach their altar once a week, and some work with their ancestors just whenever they feel like it. In general, you want to get into a routine; it’s important to establish a consistent practice of working whether in the form of prayer, ritual, or other interactions—at your ancestor altar. This, after all, is part of relationship building. You can’t have a relationship with someone you never speak to.
Where in your home you physically place your ancestral shrine depends on your personal belief system, what you’re using as an altar, and the amount of space you have. There are no universal rules on altar placement, although people in many magical belief systems are uncomfortable putting ancestors in the bedroom. If you’re concerned that your kinfolk might cause a problem during intimate moments, don’t put them in there. Worst case scenario, you can cover your ancestor altar with a white cloth during sexytimes. Also, do not put it in the bathroom. That’s just plain disrespectful. Put it in a place that’s conveniently located so you can see it regularly—remember the adage out of sight, out of mind? My altar sits adjacent to my couch, and I walk past it easily a dozen times a day. If it were in that weird, out-of-the-way back corner of my basement, when would I ever use it?
Your altar can be any available flat surface. Use the top of a dresser, a coffee table, a shelf on a wall, an end table. If you’ve got the space available, it’s nice to use an entire table for your shrine, but you’re short on room—or you have to share your living quarters with people who are less than understanding about what you’re up to—you can create it any place that can be left undisturbed, so that the spirits of your ancestors may gather there, and you can take time to meditate and honor them without having to move stuff around every time someone needs to use the table. My ancestor altar is the top of an IKEA cube bookshelf that I found at a garage sale, refinished, and covered with an embroidered altar cloth to represent my heritage. The key here is that your altar needs to be large enough to hold everything you wish to place upon it at any given time.
Before you get started setting up your altar, you’ll want to cleanse the space—and this is important. Just as you wouldn’t invite your living grandmother over to a dirty house, you don’t want to bring the dead ones into a home that’s a mess, either physically or spiritually. Clean the entire area from top to bottom. You can wipe down the space regularly with a damp cloth and some lemon juice, followed by anointing the four corners and center of the altar with either consecrated water or wine, blessing oil, or whatever your particular belief system requires.
In addition to cleaning the space itself and the altar table or shelf physically, metaphysical cleansing is a must. You can do this by using smudging herbs, such as cedar, sweetgrass, yerba santa, or nag champa. Some magical belief systems use sage for smudging, and while that works well to get rid of negativity, you may find that it also keeps your ancestors away. I like to use dried rosemary, because rosemary is associated with remembrance. If you’d like to ceremonially consecrate the altar space to your people, offer a simple incantation as you clean and purify it, like so:
I dedicate this space to those whose blood runs through me.
My fathers and mothers, my guides and guardians,
my kin and clan, grandmothers and grandfathers,
wise ones who walked before me,
and those whose spirits helped to shape me.
Now that you’ve cleaned your space, you’ve smudged the area, and you’ve got your shelf or tabletop in place. What should you include on your ancestor altar? The sky is the limit! What do you feel called to put on there? Let’s look at some basics you might want to consider.
Your Altar Cloth
Start with a cloth on the top of the altar. In some magical belief systems, particularly African Traditional Religions, the ancestor cloth is almost always plain white, which represents purity and cleanliness. However, if you’re not crazy about white, you can branch out and try something that’s more appropriate to your family. Consider cloths and fabrics that are culturally relevant.
Think about the materials used in traditional clothing in the country or region from which your people hail. Rich sari cloth from India, the brightly colored kente of Ghana, textiles embellished with Native American beadwork, and Scottish tartan plaids are just a few examples of the beautiful fabrics you can find from around the world. If your family’s background is centered in the colonial United States, think about using linsey-woolsey, cotton, or calico. I sometimes use an unfinished quilt top that my late mother-in-law hand-stitched before her death. Do your people hail from England or France? Try brocade or toile. For people who follow some Eastern religions, a red cloth is always used. In a few Celtic-based paths, it is believed that a fringe on the altar cloth helps tie your spirit to those of your ancestors. The possibilities are endless. Figure out which one—or more—best represents your family and use that as an altar cloth if you want something more interesting than plain white. You can also use plain black, if you prefer. Whatever sort of fabric you use for your altar cloth, it should be clean and should be special; if you use it as an altar cloth, don’t use it for other things as well.
If you’ve got the time and energy, as well as a little bit of skill with a needle and thread, you might want to try your hand at embroidering an ancestor altar cloth. This can have any design on it that you like, but it should be something that’s symbolic of your heritage. Many years ago, when I was about ten years into my family tree research, I hand-embroidered my family tree—or at least, those ancestors I had discovered at the time—onto a plain muslin tablecloth, measuring five by seven feet.
My name is in the center, and all of my ancestors spiderweb outwards from me, reaching ten generations in each direction, with different colored embroidery floss for each branch. It’s lovely, and I still use it for many ancestor rituals and workings. Of course, I’ve added a few thousand people to my collection since then, but it’s still a lovely reminder of the early work I did, in honor of my kinfolk, because each and every stitch brought them closer to me.
An ancestor altar cloth is something you can make easily, and you don’t even need any sewing skills to make it effective. This project can be as simple or as complex as you like, depending on your time constraints, creativity, and crafting skills.
You’ll need:
• A plain white or cream-colored tablecloth, or other piece of fabric
• Fabric pencil
• Embroidery floss and hoop, or fabric markers
• A genealogy of your direct ancestors
There’s no hard and fast rule about how to do this—this craft is very personalized, so do what works best for you. If you’re handy with a needle and thread, you can embroider the cloth, because it will definitely last longer that way. If you’re not confident in your stitching abilities, you can use fine-tipped fabric markers, but keep in mind that this option may limit your ability to wash the altar cloth if it gets dirty or stained during ritual.
Start by putting yourself in the center and writing your name carefully with a lightweight fabric pencil (the markings will wash or brush off easily when you’re done). Branch out to include your parents’ names above you, one on each side. Using lines to connect everyone, gradually add the names of your ancestors. You can even include dates of birth and death, or place names if you have the room.
It’s best to do everything in pencil first; better yet, use Post-It Notes, one for each ancestor’s name—to position people around the cloth. If you know the names of lots of ancestors on one side, but only a few on the other, it can start looking lopsided pretty quickly, unless you’re able to rearrange people which is why sticky notes are so great!
Once you’ve figured out everyone’s placement, add the names in fabric pencil until you’ve included as many people as you like. If you’re going to embroider the names, work from one side to the other, just to keep things simple—you may even want to do different branches of the family, or different generations, in alternating colors. If you opt to use fabric markers for the final work, be careful! Stitches can always be picked out, but markers are permanent.
Keep in mind that the very act of creation can be magical, and you can use the crafting of this altar cloth as a ritual in and of itself. Particularly if you’re stitching, there’s a very meditative aspect to the creative process. As I stitched each individual’s name into my own altar cloth, I focused on the person, who they were, what their lives might have been like. I welcomed them into my home, my heart, and my life.
Photos and Portraits
You’ll also want to include photos of your ancestors on your shrine or altar. A good rule of thumb is to only include images of the deceased. That means if you’ve got a photo of your late great-grandma Mildred with baby you in her lap, find another photo for the altar that doesn’t have you in it. Ancestor altars are for the dead, not those who are still alive. In addition, if you’ve got problem ancestors (covered in chapter Six) who did horrible things, you may want to leave their photos off as well. Some people include photos of beloved pets on their altar, but that’s entirely up to you.
What about ancestors who lived too long ago to have a photo taken? Obviously, if you’re doing ancestor work with anyone who died before about the middle of the nineteenth century, you’re just out of luck with photography—and that probably seems weird, given that we live in a time where selfies are pretty much a standard part of the cultural lexicon. However, long before we were Instagramming pictures of ourselves with our best friends, before our great-great-grandparents sat stiffly for a daguerreotype, people’s likenesses were captured in portraiture. Do you have a painting of an ancestor or even a line drawing? Maybe your ancestor was someone famous—a queen or a philosopher or one of America’s founding fathers—and there are numerous pieces of art to choose from.
Do you have a jar or urn of cremains from one of your ancestors? Use that in addition to photographs if you have it in your possession. I’ve got a small jar for each of my maternal grandparents, and they sit side by side on my altar. They spent sixty-odd years together in life, and I’m certainly not going to be the one to tell them they have to be apart in death. I suspect if I tried, I’d never hear the end of it.
How about soil from the graves of your people? If you’re fortunate enough to know where they’re buried, consider bringing home a small sample of the earth from where they’re buried. If you do this, it’s important to do so respectfully and in a way that doesn’t disrupt the internment. A spoonful is usually sufficient and can be powerfully symbolic. Be sure to offer your thanks when you take soil from a grave; you may even want to leave an offering at the headstone as a token of your gratitude and to honor your kinfolk.
Family Heirlooms
Family heirlooms make a great addition to your altar. What things do you have in your possession that your ancestors might have touched? Do you have that sewing case that traveled across the world and came through Ellis Island? Perhaps you’ve got a fancy silver fork that your great-grandmother slipped into her pocket when she fled steerage and got into a lifeboat on the Titanic. What about great-uncle Jimmy’s dog tags from Vietnam or Grandpa Yataka’s pocket watch? Do you have a picture of the family home back in the Old Country? I’ve got my grandmother’s Blue Willow china set, which I only bring out when I plan to call upon her.
Family heirlooms help establish a connection because they are tangible objects that were actually handled by your ancestors. That bowl you are holding right now was held a century and a half ago by a pioneer woman on a wagon train. The metal hammer in your garage was used by a blacksmith who eventually became your great-something grandfather. This connection is incredibly valuable; don’t overlook it.
A Drink of Water … Or Something Else
Water in a cup is offered as a symbolic drink for the ancestors in a number of spiritual traditions. In general, avoid using tap water if you can help it; if you do need to use tap water, be sure to consecrate and bless it prior to putting it in a cup on your ancestor altar. In some belief systems, particularly those associated with conjure or hoodoo, the water is changed on the same day each week; often, this is on Monday, but if you have a reason to use a different weekday, use it.
Maybe your ancestors wouldn’t appreciate water. That’s okay! What about alcohol? Half of my family originated in Scotland, so I often have a glass of whisky on my altar; I’m convinced I’m genetically predisposed to offering a glass of Glenfidditch 21-year Reserva to anyone associated with my paternal lines. If you’re not a fan of whisky, consider wine or other culturally appropriate spirits. Would you prefer to not offer liquor? That’s okay; coffee or tea are frequently acceptable as drinks for your people, if you know it’s something they would have consumed in life.
Sometimes, you may find yourself presenting your kin with something that came from an unexpected source. I’m not a big wine drinker at all, and yet every year during the holidays, people gift me with bottles of it, so I’ve always got plenty on hand for guests. A couple of years back, I ended up with a really nice bottle of Hacienda Monasterio, a Spanish red wine. I had no idea what to do with it, so it sat on top of my fridge for a good long while … until the winter of 2018, when I discovered that my 22nd great-grandfather was King Ferdinand III of Castile and Leon, later canonized as Saint Ferdinand. Hacienda Monasterio comes from the Castilla y Leon region and is made from a local variation of Spain’s emblematic red grape, the Tempranillo. All of a sudden, I realized I had a use for that bottle of Hacienda Monasterio after all—in the form of an offering to an ancestor who would have consumed wine made from the very same grapes. Perhaps Ferdinand’s personal stock of wine even came from a vine that was the ancestors of the ones used today in Castile’s wine production.
Symbols of Your Family’s Origins
Add symbols of your family’s heritage to your altar. I’ve got a dried thistle for my Scottish ancestors, a small Viking shield for my Norse heritage, and a stone from the top of a German mountain. Do you have a flag from the country your people came from? What about a musical instrument, such as a djembe from West Africa, a set of uillean pipes from Ireland, or one of Japan’s biwa lutes?
Do you have artwork hanging above your altar? Consider a tapestry depicting the Italian countryside, a painting of the iconic skyline of Saint Petersburg, or a map of Kenya. Did your people come from a country with a specific design style that has become famous? Many indigenous cultures have their own unique art; Australia’s aboriginal people have a distinct style that is different from the people of the Hawaiian Islands or the First Nations people of Canada. Look into culturally relevant designs that reflect your heritage and hang something above your altar to give the space some depth.
Candles—Lots of Candles
You should plan on including candles on your ancestor altar—and there’s a lot of room for different styles and needs here. In some magical traditions, white is the only color used, and unscented at that. If that works for you, have at it—but what if Granny Sue’s favorite color was red, like her trademark bright lipstick she wore to the USO dances during World War II? Maybe Uncle Al used to spend all his time fishing in the Florida Keys … and you’ve found a candle that smells like ocean breezes, and it’s pale blue? Ask yourself what your people would appreciate the most, and take it from there.
You can use different sizes of candles, although keep in mind these few guidelines. Tealights and votives are great for workings that honor many ancestors at once. Designate each candle to represent a specific ancestor. If the working is more general, you can use one or two candles to symbolize everyone you’re working with, though I’d recommend breaking them into groups—maybe you’ll have one to honor your maternal grandparents who came from Hungary, another for that ancestor who emigrated from El Salvador, and still a different one for the branch of your family that traveled across the United States in a covered wagon pulled by oxen.
What about larger candles? This is where you have a lot of opportunities to be creative. Jar candles are a wonderful option for doing individualized ancestor work because you can attach pictures to them. Get a few plain jar candles, use your printer and some clear adhesive label paper, and go to town printing out photos. Stick them on the glass, and you’ve got instant ancestor candles that you can work with. If you’re one of the people who can count actual canonized saints in your family tree, you might even be fortunate enough to find an image of your ancestors already out there for you. Among my direct line, I have Begga of Landen, Margaret of Wessex, and Arnulf of Metz, all of whom were made saints several centuries after their deaths; while I’ve struggled to find pre-made saint candles with any of their images, finding artwork depicting them has been a piece of cake because they’re Catholic saints; I simply print and stick.
Offerings
Something else you’ll want to include on your ancestor altar is offerings. So, what’s an appropriate offering? Remember where we talked about getting to know your people, with some deep research? This is one of those times when that’s going to come in really handy. You’ve got to understand your ancestors in the historical and cultural context in which they lived. Otherwise, you’re going to offer them something that’s inappropriate. While that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to lay down a curse upon you and all of your future generations, they’re certainly going to be far less inclined to help you if you show that you can’t be bothered to learn who they are.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you have a friend named Steve. He likes action movies with lots of explosions, hard whisky, strippers, and death metal. You’ve also got a friend named Emily, who enjoys French art films, fancy wine tastings, and classical music. When Steve comes over, will you break out the baroque music and a bottle of 2008 Domaine Leflaive and watch a foreign movie with subtitles? Are you going to invite Emily over to watch the newest Jason Bourne flick and listen to Slayer with you? Probably not, because you know each of these friends well enough to know what they’re into—and not into—and you’re going to plan the evening accordingly.
Treat your ancestors with the same level of respect. If your people came from a Scandinavian country, don’t offer them a fish that is only found in the tropics. If Grandpa Joe liked his coffee strong and black every morning for eighty years, presenting him with a cup of Earl Grey tea with milk and sugar just because you like it isn’t going to be terribly well received. You can’t go wrong with homemade baked goods, so why not learn about the breads or dishes that were a favorite in your family’s country of origin?
Did you stumble across a packet of pipe tobacco just like the kind your great-something grandfather inhaled? Maybe you’ve got an ancestor’s Revolutionary War journal in which she describes how much she enjoyed making a dress from a bolt of blue silk brought through a blockade. Offer the tobacco. Offer a length of blue silk. Use your imagination, think outside the box, and honor your kinfolk with things that will please them.
Other Goodies for the Altar
There are plenty of other things you can include on your ancestor altar. What about making a shadow box with keepsakes, photos, and other mementos? You can add religious items as well, no matter what your own belief system is. I’ve been a Pagan all of my life and have never dabbled in Christianity … but I do have two bibles and a Book of Common Prayer on my ancestor altar because they belonged to women in my family who wrote their names in them a century ago or more.
Make a Memorial Box
Why not make a memorial box? I use mine to specifically represent the most recently deceased family member. My kin are a long-lived bunch, so the memorial box doesn’t get updated too often, maybe every few years or so. To make one, get a plain wooden box from your favorite craft store, or better yet, find one at the thrift store that you can repurpose. Sand it down until smooth, and then paint or decoupage a design on it that speaks to you. Once that has dried, add a photo of the deceased to the inside as well as some keepsakes, family jewelry, and a candle or two. If you’ve got a copy of the obituary, the program for the memorial service, or flowers from the funeral, add those in there as well. Keep this in a place of honor on your altar.
Handcrafts and Skills
Do you have a particular skill at a handcraft that you could use to honor your people? Try doing the work at your altar to celebrate those gifts. My great-great-grandmother, Sophia Allen, was one of eleven children born to a Quaker family in Birmingham, England, and she worked as a lace maker. It’s a highly skilled line of work, and she eventually lost her sight; I don’t make lace, but I do crochet, and when I’m working my hook and yarn in intricate loops and twists, I often do so by my ancestor altar, imagining what it was like for Sophia to make lace by candlelight in the damp Birmingham winters. When we engage in the act of creation, whether it’s knitting or carving or painting, we are embracing hundreds or even thousands of years of tradition and embodying the spirit of all of the people who came before us.
Ritual Prayer Beads
Have you ever used prayer beads? They are popular in many religious belief systems. The best-known type is the rosary, but you don’t have to be a Christian to pray or use beads. Within the rosary, each bead is representative of a prayer, which is counted in a ritual format. Some forms of Judaism have used prayer beads for many years, with a bead or knot symbolizing each of the Psalms. In some Eastern belief systems, including Hinduism, Buddhism, and Shinto, the 108 beads of the mala are used to keep count while reciting chants and mantras, or to call upon the names of deities in spiritual practice.
Making and using prayer beads can be a meditative act in itself. If you’ve got a set of beads already made, add them to your altar. If you don’t, you can make a set pretty easily.
To make a set of ancestral prayer beads, you’ll need:
• Beads in different colors to symbolize each generation
• Beads that symbolize the country or region your people came from
• Additional beads to represent specific individuals of importance
• Spacer beads in color of your choice
• Beading wire or string
Start with the generational beads. If you begin with your grandparents, you’d use four beads in one color to represent their generation, eight beads in a second color to represent your great-grandparents, sixteen to symbolize your great-great-grandparents, and so on. Sort your beads and arrange them so they form a pattern that you like. Add in the beads for different countries and regions—you may want to go with a different size or style of bead so that you can remember what each of them stands for later. If you’ve got individual beads to represent specific people, put them in with the appropriate generation. Finally, add spacer beads to give each section some delineation. Play around with the designs, laying them out flat before you string them; try different patterns and designs and see which feels right for you.
Once you have your beads aligned the way you like them, string them on the beading wire and knot it securely. Keep your beads on your altar, and when you’re calling your ancestors, you can do so by going back through each generation and reciting the names of those represented by each group of beads. You may want to get creative and do different sets of beads for different sets of ancestors; I have one set that is very specifically Celtic, using knotwork beads, triskeles and triquetras, and so forth. My other set is a little more industrial and utilitarian and symbolizes a different branch of the family altogether.
Make a Headstone Rubbing
Are your family members buried nearby, or have you had a chance to visit the cemetery in which they reside? Add a grave rubbing* to your altar space. A headstone rubbing is a wonderful and unique way of preserving the past, but there are still some precautions that you should take when making one. If a headstone is damaged or crumbling, don’t do a rubbing—take a photo instead.
To make a gravestone rubbing, you’ll need lightweight paper (like white butcher’s paper) as well as a large, dark crayon or rubbing wax, some masking tape, and a soft-bristled brush to gently clear away any loose debris from the stone. Once you’ve identified the ancestor’s stone that you’d like to make a rubbing of, use the brush to lightly clean it off. Once it’s tidy, use the masking tape to attach a length of paper over the area you want to rub.
Use the flattest surface of the crayon to cover the most area (which is why a chunk of colored art wax is useful as opposed to a crayon found in your kid’s pencil box). Start your rubbing by filling in the outer edges of any carved areas to give yourself a focal point to work toward. Move to the center and begin working outward again toward the edges using light, even strokes without putting too much pressure on the paper or the stone beneath it. If it looks like your rubbing isn’t showing up as clearly or well-defined as you’d like, don’t fret—you can add more definition later. Just be sure to keep your strokes uniform to avoid any variations in coloring.
As you’re making your rubbing, think about the person who is buried there. Offer a prayer of thanks to them, showing your appreciation. It can be complex and deep, or it can be as simple as Martha Jackson, I celebrate you with this rubbing. Thank you for your contributions to the world and to my life. I welcome you to my home and give you a place of honor on my altar.
Once you’re done, take a moment to step back and look at your rubbing from a distance. If you view it from a few steps away, you’ll probably notice some irregularities in the shading or details; this is the time to fix it. When you’re satisfied with the end result, carefully remove the tape, and roll up your paper to take home with you—you might even want to bring a cardboard tube to store it in for transport. Be sure to clean up any stray bits of paper or other detritus you’ve created, and before you leave, present an offering of thanks to the ancestor you’re working with. This can be a coin, a drink, flowers, or some other item that is meaningful to you. When you get your rubbing home, frame it and place it on your altar; if it’s a large one, hang it on the wall above.
*Note: Some people believe grave rubbings can be destructive to a headstone no matter what precautions are taken. However, because there are also graveyard experts who say that a carefully done rubbing shouldn’t do any damage to a headstone in good condition, this is really a matter of personal judgement. If you are concerned about potential damage to a grave, don’t do it.
Blend Some Incense for Your Ancestors
There are plenty of types and brands of commercially prepared incense, whether you prefer sticks or cones, just about anywhere. One type of incense that’s often overlooked is the loose variety, which is what our people would have used a few hundred—or thousand—years ago, before they could just bop over to the local metaphysical shop on the corner.
The use of incense has been documented in spiritual belief systems all over the world; for ages, people have blended and burned fragrant flowers, plants, and herbs in spiritual settings. Using smoke to send prayers and intentions to the universe is one of the oldest known forms of ceremony. Incense is a powerful way to get your ancestors’ attention. The best part is that it’s super-easy to make—all you need to get started is a blend of herbs, flowers, resins, wood bark, and berries.
Loose incense is burned either in a fire or on a charcoal disk (you can buy these in packages in any metaphysical shop or even church supply stores). Apply a match to the charcoal —not the same charcoal used in a grill—and you’ll know it’s lit when it begins to spark and glow reddish orange. Once ready, place a pinch of your loose incense on the top of the disk in a fireproof dish.
If you plan to include resins or essential oils in your loose incense, combine them before adding any other materials using a mortar and pestle to mash them until they’re nice and gummy. Next add bark or berries, and then dried flowers or herbs or other powdery items last. The following incense recipes are presented in tablespoon measurements, but you can increase it as needed or use a larger measuring unit; just be sure to keep the proportions the same.
Burn these incense blends on your altar during ritual work, or just leave them loose in a bowl to enjoy their fragrances.
Spirit Incense
This incense blend works well for any sort of spirit work. If you’re calling upon your ancestors or any other beings for assistance, this combination seems to attract them!
• 1 T dragon’s blood resin
• 1 T patchouli oil
• 2 T dried rosemary
• 1 T juniper berries
• 2 T cinnamon
• 1 T ground cloves
Love Blend Incense
Are you doing a working that involves attracting and finding love, strengthening your existing relationships, or celebrating basic family connections? Try burning this love blend on your altar.
• 2 T catnip
• 2 T chamomile blossoms
• 1 T dried rose petals
• 1 T lavender blossoms
• 1 T apple blossoms
• 1/2 T yarrow
Protection Incense
Sometimes we need protection against outside forces or our own internal nonsense. Use this incense blend when you’re asking your ancestors to step in for protective purposes.
• 4 T patchouli
• 3 T lavender
• 1 T mugwort
• 1 T hyssop
Flowers and Plants
Did you know the Victorians had a secret code attached to flowers? Each flower was assigned a meaning, and it was a way to send messages to people—both those you liked and those you didn’t. Many of those traditions have held fast, and we still assign meanings to various flowers today. You can add freshly cut flowers to your ancestor altar as a way of sending them a message in the afterlife. Dried flowers are perfectly acceptable too, especially if they came from a funeral wreath or arrangement. Avoid using plastic flowers unless they have a specific meaning to you—the ones that were in your late grandmother’s favorite Sunday hat are perfectly acceptable.
Lilies appear at a lot of funerals, partly because they’re lovely, but also because they smell amazing. They are symbolic of the innocence of the human soul and tend to evoke feelings of peacefulness. Different strains of lilies have different meanings—a white lily is representative of purity, while a stargazer lily is a show of sympathy.
Roses have a language all their own, typically based on color. In general, roses are associated with love, but red is passionate love while pink is sweeter and more innocent, and yellow is the rose of friendship. A white rose symbolizes new beginnings.
Gardenias are a popular flower in wedding arrangements because they’re so fragrant that you can’t help but notice them. The gardenia symbolizes happiness and joy, and indicate purity, love, and grace. Interestingly, the gardenia is also associated with clarity and self-reflection; in some magical traditions, they are used for meditative focus to help open the mind to enlightenment.
Flowers aren’t the only plants you can use on your altar. Consider some of the herbs you might associate with death and the afterlife. Rosemary is one of the best-known herbs of remembrance; Shakespeare’s Ophelia declares it so as she enumerates a list of plants that will ease her emotional anguish. Many cultures also used it for protection from evil spirits. Add a few sprigs of fresh, aromatic rosemary to your altar.
Mugwort is an herb related to divination and dreaming. It’s ideal for altar use, especially if you’re trying to reach out to your ancestors via meditation; place it under your pillow for lucid dream journeys. You can take sprigs of mugwort and dry them into smudge sticks, and then use it in place of incense for ancestor workings involving guidance and prophecy.
The apple is a symbol of immortality. You can incorporate the dried fruits or the blossoms from a tree into your altar arrangement. Pomegranates can be used in rituals that involve spirit communication, thanks to their prominent role in the story of Demeter and Persephone, in which the seeds are associated with the realm of the underworld. Squashes, pumpkins, and gourds are connected to both protection and psychic awareness.
Rowan branches and berries are used in many parts of the British Isles to keep evil spirits out of the house. If you’re doing work with ancestors who might have been questionable or shady, keep some rowan twigs on your altar. The birch is associated with creation and rebirth, particularly after destruction; when a forest burns down, the birch is one of the first trees to come back. Consider writing petitions to your ancestors on birch bark, if they’re related to themes of renewal, creativity, and even fertility. The willow, which grows best when there’s a lot of rain, is tied to the concepts of healing and growth, and it offers nurturing and protection from danger.