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I didn’t know if I’d ever had a better shower. Since I looked worse than the others, Jax and Gray let me go first in my bathroom. Gray, being a gentleman, let Jax go next. Peter was using his own shower after seeing Anais and Seth into a cab. Peter offered to give Seth a change of clothing, but he declined, saying he would rather see Anais home and use his own bathroom. I didn’t blame him. When you were that gross, it was nice to have your own shower.
"So, you and the hot detective, huh? Tell me all of the dirty details," I said. I was lounging across the bed in a bathing suit and a robe. No need to get dressed. Those of us left were planning on having one last cocktail to unwind in the hot tub.
"No details. Yet. We’ve gone out a few times since meeting the other night. Last night we ended up walking around all night, just talking. Other than a few goodnight kisses, it’s a boring tale.”
"Are you sick? Do you have a fever?" I felt her forehead. Jax slapped my hand away, laughing.
"Ha. Ha."
"Just be careful. What if Liam is using you to get closer to the investigation?" I asked.
"You are ridiculous. I like him. A lot.”
"It is not ridiculous. If you hadn't brought Liam, then he never would've seen Ben freak out like that." Jax turned away from me. I had hit a nerve. We were all still on edge from earlier.
“I brought him because Anais asked me to.”
“Fine. I concede the point.” I heard the shower stop in the other room. Gray would be emerging shortly. I dug some trunks and clothes out of the closet for him. I cracked open the door and squeezed the items through. I didn’t want him walking out without realizing Jax and I were still here.
“Why do you sound like you are defending Ben’s behavior?” Jax asked.
“I’m not defending anything. I’m just pointing out the obvious. Liam wouldn’t be here without you. It’s convenient he starts dating you the day he lands a case at O’Kelly’s. We worked there for years. It’s just weird.” I turned away from her. I wanted to protest more but knew that would make me appear even guiltier. The truth is, I wanted to defend Ben. None of us had a right to judge him for his actions. I couldn’t say for sure how I would’ve acted if I were put on the spot like that. Anais made Ben sound like a liar and a sneak. I probably wouldn’t have thrown a table. I would admit that, but I was not saying I wouldn’t have caused a scene in another way.
“Right back at ya!” Jax yelled.
“What does that mean?” I threw my arms out, challenging her.
“Ben reached out to you. Maybe he was using you?”
“Using me for what?” I scoffed at the ridiculousness of it.
“To get closer to O’Kelly’s. It’s the same thing you are accusing Liam of.”
“That’s absurd.” I knew my argument was weak, but it was all I could come up with in the moment. Jax was poking at a tender spot in me. I didn’t want to admit that she might have a point. History showed I tended to put on blinders when it came to Ben. Not that I would admit it to her, yet.
“You are in denial. Anais accused him of murder tonight. Murder. And you are defending him.”
“What are you two arguing over? I could hear you through the door,” Gray asked as he came into the bedroom. He hadn’t put on his shirt yet. Water droplets glistened on his chest. My mouth went dry. I’d always told Gray to gain ten pounds so he would be softer to cuddle with, but in reality, I loved his physique.
“Regan is defending Ben’s outburst and mocking my relationship all in one breath.”
“I—”
“It wasn’t an outburst,” Gray said. “It was calculated.”
“What?” Jax and I spoke at the same time. Gray’s comment stopped our fight in its tracks.
“I was watching him. His eyes betrayed him. He thought through every possible outcome based on his behavior. He chose to flip the table to make his escape. Sometimes you need to make a bigger mess to clean the kitchen.”
“I don’t know what that means,” I said before rising up on my tippy toes to kiss him quickly.
Jax folded her clothes before tossing them in a plastic bag. The flowers on her skirt looked like they were bleeding to death from the red wine stains. She wore nothing but her swimsuit.
“Maybe Anais’s accusations were correct. Maybe she knows something we don’t know about Ben,” I said.
"Watch what you say, Regan. Don't go accusing someone without proof. Weren’t you just sticking up for his behavior?" Jax pointed out.
"I know. I was just thinking out loud. Whoever killed Anya had been let into the restaurant, someone she knew or trusted. Like her late-night friend that walked her home. I'm just saying." I held my arms up in surrender.
"Think about it, Regan. If he killed her what does that say about you. You lived with him.” Jax grabbed my elbow, leading me from the room. It was a rock and a hard place, I’d admit. Part of me wanted to defend Ben while the other part wanted to convict him.
Liam was in the game room, talking on his phone. His back was to us, looking like it was chiseled out of stone. Like he was the original model for the statue of David, minus the tattoos, of course. He held one of Peter’s shirts in his hand.
"Double-check his alibi.” When Liam heard us, he hung up the phone without signing off. I’d always found that rude. How hard was it to say a quick “bye?” I didn’t think it was a stretch to figure out he was talking about Ben.
"Always the detective, huh, Liam? Did you come tonight to scrape up some dirt on all of us?" I asked him, but I was looking at Jax.
I told you so! Flashed through my mind but I would never be as callous and rude as to say it out loud. Jax pinched my arm in reply.
"Play nice," she whispered. I guess she heard the I told you so.
"Worried, Regan? Do you have dirt to hide?” Liam grinned at me.
I ignored him and headed for the roof. I was irritable because Jax was right. Ben was not who I thought he was. I could only chalk up my blindness to his selfishness to being young and dumb.
The deck had been swept up and the furniture put back in its place, but stains could still be seen on the wood planking. It would forever be a reminder of the evening. The red wine left dark marks like blood. I moved past it to the hot tub. The flowers were still floating in the water. I stuck my hand in the warm water, playing for a moment before crawling in.
Peter passed out glasses of champagne before joining the four of us in the tub. The night had cooled down, so the warm water was a nice contrast. The Cubs game was winding down. It was the bottom of the ninth inning. The Cubs were down by two runs, bases loaded with no outs. As a long-time Cubs fan, I knew not to get my hopes up. I sat back to listen to the game, closing my eyes and resting my head on the back of the chair.
"Liam, how well do you know Ben?” I asked.
"Not well, actually. We are more work acquaintances than anything. Sometimes we meet for a beer with mutual friends. Like the night we met you.”
“Work acquaintances? Because of his security firm?” Liam and Gray both startled at my comment.
“Is that what he told you he did?” Liam asked.
Movement on the rooftop next to us caught my eye. Buildings in Chicago neighborhoods were packed close together. Usually, there was only enough space to allow for a walkway to the back between them. On the rooftop next to us, someone was walking around in the dark. I heard the flick of a lighter before the smell of a cigarette reached me. I ignored him and turned back to our conversation.
“Kind of. He said he cleaned up messes for rich people.” I explained to them the example Ben used about the kid being expelled for cheating.
“I think that is an oversimplification of what he actually does,” Gray said. Peter and Jax were both following the conversation, but only the three of us were engaged in it.
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Just a hunch.” I let it go. For now. But, I made a mental note to question Gray further when we were alone.
“Gray’s right. A cheating kid is probably the smallest type of problem he handles. Did you read about the dead call girl in the governor’s office last year?”
“I don’t read the news. Too depressing,” I said.
“Even if you did, you would’ve missed it. The governor didn’t call the police. He called Ben. Ben comes in, ‘cleans’ the room, gets rid of evidence, buries the story, so it doesn’t go viral, picks up his money and moves on,” Liam said.
“Then why are you friends with him? He seems like the opposite of what you should stand for as a cop.”
“We’re friends because we both use each other. He helps point me in the right direction if I need it. I keep him toeing the line. So, he’s not cleaning up his own mess.”
“How handy.”
“Judge it all you’d like. It works for us. Only a fool thinks everything is solidly black and white.” I didn’t think Jax had been discussing me on her few dates with him, but the point struck close to home. I did view the world as being black and white. Good and evil. God and devil. When faced with two choices, you and only you could choose which path to follow. Right or wrong. My usual problem was what I felt was right others might view as wrong.
The other problem I had lately was emotional. It was easy to say choose correctly with a clear head, but sometimes emotions clouded everything. Like my reaction to Gray. Logically, I should’ve stayed and talked to him. Emotionally, I ran like I was being chased by wolves.
"Do you think he did it?" Peter asked all of us.
"Who did what?" I asked.
"You know what. You should know Ben better than anyone,” Peter said.
“Do you think he did it?” I threw the question right back at him. “I should hope not considering the time you’ve insisted I spend with him lately.”
“Don’t think there won’t be a conversation about that either, Regan,” Gray said, patting my thigh under the water. Oh, I couldn’t wait.
“Do you know what I think?” I asked the question to no one in particular and didn’t wait for a reply. “I think I didn’t really know Ben at all. I think I was young and dumb and blinded by what I thought was love. I also think Liam needs to look closer at his ‘friend.’”