Chapter 33

It’s still dark when I get out of bed. Carolyn’s already gone, off on her run. And today I’m joining her. I don’t have time to take a shower, but I brush my teeth and wash my face quickly and throw on some clothes. Everyone is still sound asleep when I sneak out.

I grip the book tightly and follow Carolyn’s map as best I can. Instead of making a left out of the main cabin to go toward the field like I have every day for the past month and a half, I turn right. I tiptoe across the grass, keeping close to the side of the building in case anyone happens to look out any of the second-floor windows as I go by. Going to meet Carolyn like this is even more dangerous than sneaking out last night to go see Matthew. Our reasons for doing that were honorable, as far as Brianna was concerned. But meeting Carolyn alone, in the early hours of the morning—well, there’s only one reason for us to do that. I try not to think of that reason as I half walk, half run to meet her.

The map Carolyn drew from memory in the dark is surprisingly detailed. I know exactly where to enter the woods, exactly which trail to take when I reach a fork. She knows this place well—it’s her own little private world that no one else at the camp has seen. And she’s invited me into it.

I round the next bend and there she is. She stands in the middle of a little open, grassy area, stretching. She’s in her running clothes, her hair pulled away from her face, beads of sweat sprinkling her collarbone. She smiles when she sees me. “You found it,” she says.

“Yeah,” I say, suddenly incredibly nervous. “You run here every day?”

“Yup. Beautiful, isn’t it?”

I’m sure it is. But I can’t keep my eyes off her. I take a step closer.

She holds my gaze and takes a step of her own.

And then, like two magnets that have suddenly entered the same force field, we come together.

He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God.

Electricity explodes through every part of me as my mouth meets hers. This is what a kiss is supposed to be. There’s no one else around, no party games, no boys to be putting on a show for. Just me and Carolyn and the lightning between us.

I drop the book and pull her closer to me. Her hands are in my hair, one of mine is on the small of her back, the other caressing her face. It’s the best moment of my life.

Far too soon, we break apart. Carolyn grins at me, her face flushed, her eyes full of…something. Something good. She threads her fingers through mine and we sit together in the grass. We stay like that for a while, holding hands, just staring at each other. And then I can’t take it anymore—I close the distance between us and crush my mouth against hers again. We topple over onto the grass, giggling and kissing and happy.

***

“We have to be getting back,” she whispers. It’s the first thing either of us has said. We’re lying in the grass, her head resting on my chest. I run my fingers through her hair and breathe her in.

“I don’t want to,” I murmur.

Carolyn laughs and props herself up on her elbows to look at me. “Me either.” She gives me a soft peck on the lips. “But it’s seven o’clock. Kaylee’s alarm is going to go off in thirty minutes, and you need to be back in your bed by the time that happens.”

She’s right. But I hate the reminder that the real world actually exists. I want to just stay here, lying in this patch of wild grass with Carolyn forever.

“Okay,” I say with a sigh and push myself up to standing. “Let’s go.”

We hold hands as we walk back through the woods, and I slip back into bed just in time.