Half an hour before the time Grace said she’d come for me, I was down on the sidewalk with my bag, waiting, even though I dreaded seeing her again. It wasn’t just the perturbation in her voice when I telephoned her from the station the night before, with the ink hardly dry on my discharge papers. I knew she was upset about something, of course, when she practically begged me to come to the country with her for the weekend. After all, I hadn’t seen her in three years and she hadn’t even written to me during the last two years I was overseas. What I was really afraid of was my own reactions when I saw her, although I wasn’t sure whether I was afraid they would be the same, or that they wouldn’t.
When the blue convertible came around the corner from Fifth Avenue, I wasn’t afraid any more. The darkhaired girl behind the wheel seemed to be coming around a hundred corners, far beyond Fifth Avenue—nostalgic corners, some friendly, some sullenly hateful, some crowded with confused emotions, and the last one, the corner at the crossroads, downright tempestuous. But I was glad to see her come around that Fifth Avenue corner.
She stopped the car at the curb and set the emergency brake. Then just as though she had seen me only yesterday, she said: “Sorry I’m late, Jim.”
I looked at my watch. “You’re exactly forty-five seconds late,” I said. “To me, that’s the soul of punctuality, which you always were. You haven’t changed a bit, Grace.”
“You have, Jim,” Grace Boyd said. “Three years ago I’d have waited forty-five minutes for you. Otherwise you look the same. You look as well-fed and red-haired and pleased with yourself as ever. I thought you’d be gaunt and weather-beaten, with hard, disillusioned eyes. I thought you’d be bronzed by the sun and covered with medals.”
“A man doesn’t get much sun or many medals sitting behind a desk in London,” I told her. “Shall I put my bag in the back?”
“Of course. You’d think I was counting your freckles, the way I was gawking at you. I’ll have all weekend to do that, won’t I, Jim. Get in.”
I got in. She swung the car into the stream of traffic and headed for the West Side Highway. I was just thinking how calm and collected she looked and that I must have been wrong about her sounding upset on the phone the night before. Then I saw the gun.
I had opened the glove compartment in the dashboard to stow my pipe and tobacco pouch, and the gun was lying at the back of the compartment. I didn’t get a very good look at it, but I could see it was an automatic. I didn’t know whether I was supposed to see it or not, so I closed the compartment quickly. I decided not to say anything. After all, she used to go out on assignments alone, and it was perfectly logical for a girl alone to want protection if she did a lot of night driving—which she probably still did. I thought I’d wait for her to mention the gun—if she wanted to. But I did give her a closer once-over.
She was small and slim and dark, just the way I remembered her. She fixed her hair differently—parted far to the left, hanging straight to frame her oval face, curling a little just above her shoulders. But she wore the same air of perpetual, well-tailored competence that she had always had. And she had the same big, quick, pleasant smile that appeared always on the point of asking questions to which her long, gray, almond-shaped eyes seemed always a little fearful of getting the answers. Her hands on the wheel were competent; they were also expressive and, to me, exciting.
She shifted gears to climb the ramp and the car sped north along the express highway toward George Washington Bridge. Grace had a summer cabin in the Ramapos and we were going there, she had told me on the phone, to close it up for the season. I had been there once, when she first got the place, just before the war.
“You must own that cabin at Blindman’s Lake by this time,” I said.
“Almost,” Grace replied. “Only twelve more years to pay.”
She lapsed into silence. It was funny, when we both probably had so many things to say, that we had only exchanged half a dozen platitudes. Several times I thought Grace was on the point of saying something, but didn’t because she wasn’t sure how to begin. Finally I said:
“I haven’t seen any of your stuff for over a year. I’ve been looking for it in every picture magazine I could get my hands on. I thought you were dead or married or something. I was almost afraid to call you when I got back yesterday.”
“I’ve quit the magazine,” Grace said.
“That’s too bad.” I meant it. She was a top-flight photographer. “If you paid more attention to smokestacks and grain elevators you’d be another Margaret Bourke-White by the time you were thirty.”
“I’ve got my own racket now. I specialize in medical subjects. Color stuff, mostly. Slides for medical schools and hospitals. Progressive symptoms. Operations, sometimes. Microphotos. It’s fun, and I’m my own boss.”
“You always were,” I said.
“Jim!” Her tone was imperative. “Light me a cigarette.”
I pushed the lighter on the dash. Here it comes, I thought. I wondered if she was going to tell me about the gun.
“I’m taking advantage of you, Jim,” she went on. “I’m taking you to the country under false pretenses. I wasn’t going to tell you about it until we got to Blindman’s Lake and had a fire going and a drink or two, but I guess I ought to give you a chance to turn back now if you want to.”
“I think I’d like being taken advantage of—by you,” I said. The lighter popped. I handed Grace the cigarette, and watched the way it burned between her lips at a cocksure angle, the way cigarettes used to burn when we worked together as a writer-photographer team and Grace was as ready as I was to use house-breaker tactics to crack a tough assignment. Self-assured. Self-possessed. Self-sufficient. Even the angle of her beret cocked over one ear—an almond-green beret to match her suit—bespoke selfassurance. Very convincing, too—to everyone but me. Once I pointed out to her that the self-confident angle of the cigarette and the beret didn’t match the doubt that sometimes glimmered in her long, gray eyes. I mentioned it only once—the night of our big blow-up—but I’d noticed it many times.
“I couldn’t very well tell you over the phone last night,” Grace continued. “But the minute I heard your voice, I knew I wanted to talk to you, for hours and hours, without interruption. After all, you know me better than any living man or beast. I trust your judgment, Jim—and your friendship. I’ve got problems, Jim.”
“Isn’t this where we came in?”
“No. This is new, brand new.”
“Like what, for instance?”
“I want to get married, Jim.”
“That shouldn’t be much of a problem.” I laughed. It wasn’t much of a laugh, I guess. The wind from the Hudson, until now a fresh breeze that stung with the playful tang of late October, was suddenly raw and biting. The Jersey Palisades across the river were no longer just rusty with autumn; they were grim and forbidding. The river had the hard glint of tarnished brass in the afternoon sun. I wanted badly to smoke my pipe, but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to open the glove compartment. I didn’t see what the gun had to do with Grace’s marital problems, but I couldn’t get that gun out of my mind, either. I lit a cigarette instead.
I looked at Grace. Her slim, easy fingers were tense as they gripped the wheel.
“Okay, so it is a problem,” I said. “I’m listening.”
I listened for the next twenty miles. The problem seemed simple enough at first. Two men wanted to marry Grace: Mr. Pennington and Dr. Norman. She had promised them a decision by Monday.
She had known Norman the longest. He was a young physician—without a practice. Oh, he had a few patients, but not many. Patients didn’t seem to like doctors who got tight and insulted them. Dr. Norman in turn despised patients who went into a 2 A. M. panic over nettle rash or a touch of flatulence. In fact, he disliked patients generally. He was supremely bored by peering down people’s throats and poking under people’s ribs for a palpable liver. He was disdainful of clinics and clinical medicine. He was a pathologist—a superb pathologist. Unfortunately, he was also a slightly drunken pathologist a good bit of the time.
Not that being somewhat swacked in the privacy of his laboratory ever interfered with the keenness of his eye at the microscope or with the accuracy of his diagnoses. Being swacked, however, did lend zest and color to the insults he passed out to the surgeons whose operations it was his duty to check. When tissue from an appendectomy came to his laboratory and his microscope showed a normal appendix, he invariably called the surgeon a charlatan, a mercenary butcher, or a menace to society. Frequently he was right, but he did not endear himself to hospital administrators who by nature are great lovers of intramural peace among staff physicians. There was general rejoicing in at least four metropolitan hospitals when Dr. Norman H. Norman donned the uniform of captain of the U.S. Army Medical Corps.
The chicken colonels of the medical corps, however, did not share in the rejoicing. They did not send Captain Norman overseas. They attached him to a hospital in Brooklyn, where a medic who came into the wards with a 100-proof breath and went around pinching nurses’ bottoms might possibly pass almost unnoticed. Forty-eight hours after VE Day he was a civilian again.
Civilian hospitals showed remarkably little enthusiasm over the end of Dr. Norman’s military career. They showed even less interest in his future. One hospital had offered him a part-time laboratory job at $2,200 a year. That was all.
Yet Dr. Norman was a brilliant laboratory doctor. He was witty. He was charming, drunk or sober. Grace had never discovered why he drank. Perhaps because he was a rebel and the world had little use for rebels.
“You always said I was a rebel,” I interrupted.
“Norman is a little like you,” Grace said. “You’re an irresponsible savage, and you can be charmingly nasty to people. But you’re not mean, Jim, and I’m afraid Norman is. You sometimes feel sorry for people who make mistakes. Norman just hates them.”
I lit another cigarette. “So you’re in love with him?” I asked.
Grace hesitated. “I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe—a little.”
“And the other guy?”
The other guy was Henry Pennington. He had studied law at the same Middle Western university which gave Norman his M.D. No, they weren’t friends, exactly. Norman had no friends. But they were old schoolmates, which was as close as Norman could get. In fact, it was in Norman’s apartment that Grace had met Pennington.
Henry Pennington had never practiced law. The law was a respected profession, and there was nothing that Pennington craved more than respectability except perhaps success. Material success for a lawyer is apt to be slow, much too slow for a man who has had a drab, unhappy, pinched childhood, who had worked his way through college. So Henry Pennington had gone into business. Something to do with textiles. Cotton converter, I think Grace said. He had achieved a comfortable material success before Pearl Harbor. The war had made him rich. Government contracts for tropical uniforms. Two government-financed factories to manufacture khaki shirts. His own factory to manufacture cotton flags.
Now that he had money, Pennington needed a few more elements to complete his pattern for a successful life: position, power, a wife and family. The first step to position and power was to be the State Senate, and Pennington was a candidate in the November elections. The first step to wife and family would be Grace Boyd—if Grace gave the word.
“Don’t tell me. Let me guess,” I said. “From where I sit, it looks like Dr. Norman in a canter.”
Grace looked hard at the road. “Wrong, Jim. I’m going to marry Henry Pennington.”
I put the wrong end of the cigarette in my mouth and for the next few seconds I erupted sparks, smoke, ashes, and a few choice E.T.O. cuss words in lieu of lava.
“Is that an editorial reaction?” Grace asked.
When I stopped coughing, I said: “That sure as hell is. This Pennington doesn’t sound like your kind of guy. He sounds stuffy. I’ll bet he’s honeycombed with all the bourgeois virtues.”
“He’s just lousy with bourgeois virtues,” Grace said. “And that’s exactly what I want. Solidity. Reliability. Security, to coin a phrase.”
“You used to have plenty; enough to share with your friends and relatives.”
“That’s just it, Jim. I’m tired of being an emotional and spiritual nursemaid. Every man I was ever interested in turned out to be a promising genius who never kept his promises—or his own nose clean. I’m not going through life wiping noses for grownup little boys.…”
That was one for me, right through my guard, right to the chin. Grace had pulled me out of many a tight one. There was the time we were doing a picture story on the New York champagne industry; when the research proved a little too strenuous for my natural immunity and Grace covered up for me. There were other times, including the time I called an editor a dirty, pernicious old reactionary for changing my captions on Grace’s pictures for a story on a successful profit-sharing furniture factory. I gave the editor very detailed anatomical instructions about what to do with my job. I didn’t know that it was Grace herself who had changed the captions for the very purpose of trying to save my job.…
“I want to be taken care of, for a change,” Grace went on. “I want someone to lean on. And Henry Pennington is a nice, comfortable guy with a shoulder just my size.”
“Then why all the fuss?” I asked. “Why not just marry him and be done with it?”
“I’m worried about Norman. He’s such an unpredictable, unstable, untamed sort of bird, that—Oh, I don’t know.”
So that was it, I thought. She’s scared of the charming but dissolute doctor. That would explain the gun. I asked:
“Did Doc Norman ever threaten artistic and scientific murder unless you married him?”
Grace shook her head into the wind. “No, not exactly. But he goes in for a lot of Freudian double-talk. I really don’t know what he would do. That’s what I want to talk to you about. Shall we save it for tonight—in front of the fire?”
“Okay, let’s save it,” I said.
Grace swung the car off the concrete highway and we bumped over a winding dirt road for about ten minutes. She stopped the car at the crest of a hill in front of a neat white house with green shutters. A fine old maple tree, incandescent with the scarlet of autumn, towered above the green roof. The rural mail box at the gate bore the name “Stewart.” Beyond a white picket fence a small boy in overalls was raking leaves from the lawn. The boy was about seven or eight, and he was half as tall as his bamboo rake.
Grace got out. “Good neighbors,” she said. “Wait in the car. I won’t be a minute. Hello, Tommy. Is your father—? Oh, hello, Joan.”
A smiling, pleasant-looking woman came out on the front porch and waved a paper bag at Grace. The screen door slammed behind her. She came down the walk toward Grace and I noticed she wore no makeup. Her closebobbed hair was evenly and prematurely gray.
“Bob drove down to the village,” Joan Stewart said. “He ought to be back pretty soon.” She handed Grace the paper bag. “Here are the eggs,” she continued. “There’s only six. My hens are on a stand-up strike. I hope it’s enough.”
“Plenty,” Grace said.
Joan Stewart stopped smiling. She lowered her voice, but I could hear her ask: “Are you expecting Dr. Norman this weekend?”
“Heavens no,” Grace replied. “Why?”
“He was here yesterday.”
“He walked up from the village to talk to Bob.”
“That’s a funny one,” Grace said. “What about?”
“I’d rather Bob told you. He’s pretty upset about it. Can we come over later?”
“Of course. Why don’t you and Bob come by for a cocktail?”
“Fine. Around five.”
Grace came back to the car. She handed me the paper bag and stepped on the starter.
“Eggs,” she said. “Don’t sit on them.”
“I won’t even cackle. Why don’t you introduce me to your pal?”
“You’ll meet them later. Bob and Joan Stewart are perfectly grand people. You won’t like them. They’re too damned normal.”
Three minutes later we were climbing the short, steep lane that led from the main road to Grace’s cabin on the hillside. The lane straightened out after about a hundred yards, to make a flat, oak-shaded parking space, then became a cart track climbing into the woods. I remembered, the once I had been here before, following the track through the woods and over hill. On the other side of the hill it joined the main road to Blue Falls, the nearest village.
The cabin was a sprawling L-shaped affair backed up against the hill. There was a screened porch at the short end of the L, and a field-stone chimney rising from the other. A big, spreading oak grew behind the cabin with branches that swept the sloping roof. The front entrance, flanked by two dense thickets of evergreen shrubs, was inside the angle of the L.
Grace jumped out, sank into the dead leaves above her ankles. She said, “I’ve got to go around back to open up. You can unload the bags while I unlock the front door for you.”
As soon as she disappeared around the porch, I opened the glove compartment to have a good look at the gun. I took it out and turned it over in my hands several times. It was a .32 caliber Colt automatic, the blow-back model. The safety was on, and the gun felt as if it were loaded, but I couldn’t be sure. Before I had a chance to investigate, I heard Grace opening the front door of the cabin. I just had time to put the gun back.
I felt a little sheepish to be so nearly caught snooping in the glove compartment, so before I snapped it shut, I took out the Leica camera that Grace had always carried there as long as I had known her.
“Let’s see if I can still operate one of these cameras,” I said. “Let me shoot you candidly in the doorway—your last bachelor-girl pose.”
I made one of her in the entrance, and a few more standing against the evergreen shrubbery. I carried the camera into the house with the bags.
The inside of the cabin was filled with the cold, damp, musty smell that crawls into houses when they’ve been shut up for a time. While Grace was changing her clothes, I started to build a fire in the fireplace to take the chill off the place while we went down to the village to buy groceries for the weekend. I rustled up paper and kindling and some logs, but I found myself doing a clumsy job of laying the fire. I was jumpy. If I didn’t know better, I’d have sworn I had the hangover jitters. I couldn’t tell why, but the cabin gave me a feeling of strange uneasiness. Maybe it was the cold, damp smell. Maybe it was the things Grace had told me on the way out. Maybe it was the gun in the car. Whatever it was, I had a feeling that Grace and I were not alone in the cabin. At one moment the feeling was so strong that I thought I heard footsteps in the dry leaves outside. Finally I got up and looked in the kitchen and the spare bedroom and the back porch. I even went to the front door and looked out. There was nobody in sight. So I went back to my logs and managed to produce almost as much fire as smoke by the time Grace had finished changing. She had put on a pair of red slacks and a red sweater that gave me a chance to remark that nothing detrimental had happened to her figure since I last admired it.
When we went out to the car, Grace picked up the Leica from the living room table where I’d left it, and put it back into the glove compartment. I noticed that this time she locked the compartment.
The road to the village led past the lake, past the Lakeside Inn, and through a lot of scenery. It was about a ten-minute drive to Blue Falls. Grace let me off in front of the Blue Falls liquor store while she did her marketing. I was to meet her at the parking lot behind the Blue Falls Market in fifteen minutes.
There was a Saturday afternoon crowd buying bottled goods and it took me a full fifteen minutes to get whisky, gin and vermouth, and some rum to keep the cold out after dark. I still had to wait about five minutes at the parking lot before Grace drove up, full of bundles and apologies. It seems she had to go to the other side of the village, where the butcher knew her, to get a steak of proper size and succulence.
It was long after four by the time we started back for Blindman’s Lake. The road was magnificent with the agony of the dying year—the luminous orange of the maples, the deep red of the oaks, the purple of the beeches, the pale yellow of the elms. Here and there an evergreen thrust a somber arm through the brilliant mosaic of autumn, as though mourning the spectacular death pangs of another spring grown old. Blindman’s Lake gleamed sullenly through the afternoon haze, like a scarf of gunmetal damask, caught between two brooding, hills. The nostalgic scent of wood smoke drifted down from Grace’s cabin as the car climbed the last steep hundred yards.
The door of the cabin was slightly ajar. I thought I had closed it when we left. The dead leaves whispered around my ankles as I carried an armload of bundles from the car. Grace pushed the door open for me. As I stepped inside, I said:
“Hello. We’ve got company.”
A man was sitting in front of the blazing log fire. He was sitting on the floor, with his back to us, reclining to the left, with one elbow leaning on a big leather hassock.
“I’ll be damned,” said Grace over my shoulder.
The man did not turn around.
Grace started for the hearth, stopped, then started forward again with determination in every stride. The flooring of the jerry-built summer cabin trembled beneath her indignant steps.
“What’s going on here?” she demanded. “What—?”
She stopped. She sprang back a step. A half-stifled cry, a little like a sob, died in her throat.
The man’s elbow slipped off the hassock. He toppled over, flat on his back.
Grace dropped her bundles. She turned to me with a queer, fluttery gesture of both arms. Then, in the small, strangled voice of a child who has just been hurt, she said:
“Jim, he’s dead.”