KEY TAKEAWAYS
- F**k the spark! Fireworks and instant chemistry are often absent at the beginning of a relationship. Chemistry can build over time.
- Context matters. You may not feel the spark with someone, simply because of the environment in which you meet.
- The spark is not always a good thing. That feeling of chemistry may actually be anxiety because the person doesn’t make it clear how they feel about you. Sometimes the presence of a spark is more an indication of how charming someone is—or how narcissistic—and less a sign of a shared connection.
- If you feel the spark, that doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is viable. Even if it leads you into a long-term relationship, it’s not nearly enough to keep the relationship going; nor is it a sign that you’re meant to be together.
- Ditch the spark and go after the slow burn—someone who may not be particularly charming but would make a great long-term partner.