14

The thousands of waterways, inlets, and small bays making up the western coast of southern Florida linked the swampy wetlands to the Gulf of Mexico. Within the Okeeyuckachokee Swamp, the Creature Keepers’ great lemon-tree hideout lay just inland from one such inlet, known as Ponce de Leon Bay.

A tangle of trees and vines hung over the edges of the bay, a natural curtain of greenery for the small boathouse and a dock hidden within. Eldon Pecone was busy at the end of that dock, loading supplies onto a rickety-looking old seaplane floating on pontoons in the brackish water. He smiled to himself as he heard the familiar thumping footsteps of Bernard’s oversized feet.

“I’m glad you came to see me off. I was worried you’d be pouting somewhere.” Looking up, Eldon nearly fell off the dock at the sight of the sheared Skunk Ape in a tightly fitting Badger Ranger uniform. “Good gravy!” Eldon shrieked. “Why are you disrespecting that uniform?”

Bernard cleared his throat and spoke in a very solemn tone. “I wear the trappings of this organization in protest, as a symbol of my being, um, trapped here, against my will.”

“Take it off. Not only do you look ridiculous, you’ll stretch it out.”

“I most certainly will not,” Bernard huffed. He began doing deep squats, just to drive Eldon a little more crazy.

“Hey! Stop that this instant! And why are you all shaved? What does that symbolize?”

Bernard looked down at himself. “Oh, that. I had to do that to get into the shorts.”

Eldon stared at him for a moment. Then he started to giggle. Then he lost it. He laughed so hard he nearly fell off the dock again. As he rolled around in hysterics, Bernard rushed to him, taking the opportunity to signal a nearby bush. Jordan popped out with his backpack and tiptoed past them, toward the plane.

“I can’t believe how stupid you look!” Eldon squealed through fits of laughter. He wiped a tear out of his eye. Jordan was still making his way toward the plane behind him. Thinking quickly, Bernard scooped Eldon up. “Hey!” Eldon was suddenly swung around in a great Skunk Ape hug and carried away from the plane toward the boathouse.

Bernard glanced back to see Jordan toss his backpack into the seaplane and scramble inside. The Skunk Ape set Eldon down inside the boathouse. Parked there was a rickety-looking fan boat, as well as an old wreck of an open-air, glass-bottom tourist boat once used for swamp cruises. Eldon eyed Bernard. “What was that all about?”

“I’m just going to miss you, that’s all,” he said, picking up the last box of supplies. He and Eldon walked back out and down the dock to the seaplane. Bernard tossed the box in the rear of the plane. “Unh!” A faint grunt came from inside, as the box landed on Jordan’s head.

“Oh, don’t make a fuss,” Eldon said to his big friend. “I’ll check things out and be back in a few days.” He saluted Bernard and boarded the seaplane.

BANG! Smoke shot out from the engine as the propellers sputtered to life.

Eldon slipped his goggles down over his eyes and gave a thumbs-up. The plane coughed as it moved slowly out onto the bay. Bernard stood at the end of the dock and watched the old seaplane pick up speed, gliding across the water. It lifted into the air unsteadily, then circled over the tree line, disappearing out of sight.

Bernard exhaled. “He’s gonna kill me when he gets back.”

Abbie plunked a pile of lemons down on the lemonade stand, looked down the street at the old people slowly making their way toward her, and thought of her brother. I’m gonna kill him when he gets back.

She opened a rickety wooden cabinet beneath the bar. There was a pitcher, mixing spoons, paper cups, a bag of sugar, and a stained, folded-up piece of paper. Hand-lettered across the top of the weathered sheet of Badger Ranger official stationery it read, Eldon Pecone’s Old-Fashioned Homemade Lemonade Stand Instructions. Beneath that was written a basic recipe for lemonade, as well as a checklist for setting up the stand.

“Great. Another to-do list,” she sighed. “I miss Chunk. He’s the only one who gets me.”

She thought about her pet iguana as she followed the recipe. She loved that lizard. He was wrinkled, scaly, and indifferent. Reptiles seemed ugly to most people, but they didn’t care what people thought. And Abbie felt that made them beautiful.

“Where’s Eldon?” a croaky voice suddenly barked at her. She looked up. Standing there before her was an old, wrinkly woman in tattered bunny slippers who’d ambled up to the stand.

“Didn’t know it was Halloween,” another, older neighbor chimed in. “Who are you supposed to be, the Bride of Dracula?” This one was a dude, and not only was he still in his bathrobe, he hadn’t bothered to close it up. He wore big, baggy boxer shorts pulled way up over his belly button. They had lobsters printed on them.

As they both glared at her, Abbie knew she should be angered, offended, or at least irritated by these rude old people. Instead, she started laughing. She laughed right out loud, then poured them the first cups of lemonade of the day.

A few hours into the flight, Eldon reached into a bag on the seat beside him and pulled out a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. He rechecked his flight instruments, sank his teeth into his lunch, and broke into song.

“Oh, give me a home, where the Skunk Ape don’t roam! Where the Yeti isn’t hunted by men . . .”

From where he was hidden, Jordan could hear Eldon’s song all too well. A giggle in his belly began fighting to get out.

“. . . Where humans won’t see, Mothman or Ness-ieee! And Bigfoot’s never spotted agaaaaain!”

That was it. The giggle would not be tamed.

“Haw-haw-haw!”

Eldon spun around as he coughed up a big bite of peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich, spraying it all over the seat behind him. “Who’s there?” he yelled. He put the seaplane on autopilot, and stood staring at the back of the plane in a fighting crouch position. “Whoever you are, you should know that I happen to be a First-Class Badger Ranger with a Level-Six Badger Badge in self-defense!”

Jordan slowly stood up from behind the last seat.

“What are you doing here?” Eldon screamed at him.

“I thought you might need a little backup.” He snickered. “Maybe we could sing duet.”

“Very funny.” Eldon plopped back into his seat and turned the autopilot off. “I’m turning this plane around and taking you back.”

“No! Please. Look, I’m sorry I snuck onboard,” Jordan said. “But Bernard thought—”

“Bernard!” Eldon spun around so quickly that he forgot he was controlling the seaplane. It veered violently for a moment, and Eldon turned back and righted it. “I’m gonna kill that Skunk Ape when I get back.”

“Listen, I know I disobeyed you. But Bernard was really worried about this mission. He had me worried. He thinks there might be something fishy going on.”

Eldon stared straight ahead at the clouds for a good, long time. Finally, he reached over and picked up a large, leather-bound map book off the copilot seat and nodded to it. Jordan smiled as he scrambled to the cockpit and sat down next to him.

WUMP! Eldon dropped the book in Jordan’s lap. “This was not part of the plan. But since you’re here, you may as well make yourself useful and navigate.” Eldon nodded at the book. “We’re looking for Loch Ness. It’s in Scotland. Under S.”

The sky outside grew dark as the tiny plane began its descent into the Scottish Highlands. No sooner had they entered a thick layer of fog, their craft was suddenly slammed by a strong wind. Jordan and Eldon jerked violently in their seats.

“Hold on,” Eldon said. “This could get bumpy.”

Jordan looked out the window. Through the fog he caught glimpses of craggy hills and rugged peaks. “Eldon, there isn’t any flat land!”

“We’re in a seaplane. We don’t need flat land; we need flat water. There.” He pointed at a dark blotch below. “That must be the loch!” Eldon pushed forward on the control stick. The plane nosedived; Jordan’s belly flopped. Eldon yanked back again, and the plane leveled out.

SPLASH! They landed hard, tossing Jordan forward, and then jerking him back in his seat. An instant later they skimmed to a stop, bobbing gently up and down. Eldon turned off the engine. “And thanks to Nessie, the loch is always flat.”

Jordan looked down at the open book in his lap. He ran his finger along the rocky topography of the Scottish Highlands, stopping on a strip of deep green on the hand-drawn map. He looked out the window at the dark water beneath him and smiled.

Jordan was floating in the middle of Loch Ness.