The stage is in darkness. Lights up.
A bar in Belfast, 2009. Northern Ireland are playing Poland in a World Cup qualifier on a big screen TV.
Robert is playing the poker machine. He receives a text message.
i can’t live like this
i’m not happy either
do u luv me
of course i do
then what
i don’t know
i’m feel alone – what am i doing here – i want to go back to poland
can’t talk now the place is starting to fill up
i need u
talk later
Robert fuckin torture – she wanted to be here – begged me – i didn’t force her – fuckin made it happen that’s what i did – and what – this shit
He moves behind the bar and watches the match.
Jimmy enters.
alright jimmy – late tonight – second half just started – two one up to yous – evans just scored – not over yet though
Jimmy aye – was thinkin about not comin at all – but then i’ve somethin to do so here i am
Robert pint is it
Jimmy i’ll try one an see how that goes – a few kids outside on the cider – they give you any grief
Robert no it’s fine
Jimmy do you want me to go out and get rid of them
Robert no i don’t want any trouble
Jimmy sometimes that’s what’s called for
Robert they’re only kids
Jimmy kids can do more damage than you think
Robert serves Jimmy his drink and opens a bottle of Coke for himself. They both say cheers in Polish. They watch the match. Robert sends a text message.
u watching the match
no – putting the baby to bed
kiss him for me
what’s the score
2-1 to yous – jammie bastards
up yer polish hole
up yer nordie hole
get a taxi home – finish early if you can
maybe
he’s crying – talk later
ok
Robert yes yes yes – shit – who was it
Jimmy don’t know
Robert jelen is it
Jimmy never heard of him – make no difference
Robert come on poland – come on poland
Jimmy fuck poland – what do you care anyway – you loved the place so much ya left it behind – this is home now – the lovely belfast
Robert not that you’d know anything about it but it’s in my heart
Jimmy how would a not know about that
Robert i’ve left nothing behind – it’s there – i carry it with me
Jimmy you should support northern ireland
Robert fuck northern ireland – do you support them
Jimmy not really – but then this place probably hasn’t looked after me as well as it’s looked after you
Robert yeah i’m livin the dream baby
Jimmy who scored your goal
Jimmy still never heard of him
Robert you know a lot about polish football do you
Jimmy a know a bit
Robert you know nothing – this place doesn’t know the rest of the world exists
Jimmy is that right
Robert so what bit do you know then
Jimmy the nineteen seventy-four world cup – i know that bit
Robert the nineteen seventy-four world cup – bullshit
Jimmy the golden boot – grzegorz lato – poland – seven goals – and joint second with neeskens from holland with five was – andrzej szarmach – poland came third in that world cup – an who did the beat in the play off for third place – the mighty brazil – one-nil on the sixth of july nineteen seventy-four
Robert how do you know all that – you learn it off for a quiz
Jimmy don’t do quizzes – doesn’t matter how i know it – an another thing too – who did poland stop from even gettin to the world cup finals
Robert northern ireland
Jimmy no fuck – england – can’t remember the score – might have been one-nil not sure
Robert we’ve no chance of getting to this world cup
Jimmy a wouldn’t know
Robert how do you not know you sit and watch all the matches
Jimmy sit here an have a pint but i don’t really watch them
Robert receives a text.
poker after work ?
can’t
what about the money u owe me
i’m good for it
tomorrow
right – better be
Robert what’s the point in scoring a goal then playing like headless chickens
Jimmy if the could stop themselves from playin like that do ya not think they’d do it
Robert it wasn’t a question
Jimmy right – sounded like one
Robert did you hear the news
Jimmy not interested in news
Robert there was trouble earlier on
Jimmy between us an the poles
Robert us – i thought you didn’t support them
Jimmy like it or not it’s still us
Robert smashed up some pub in the city centre – i was thinking maybe i should put the shutters up on the windows
Jimmy should be alright – only wee lads hangin about out there – not even at the match – no interest in it – just messin
Robert it’ll be alright then
Jimmy certainly – i’m here anyway – (Pause.) – there’s a man comin in later on to see me – he wants to talk with me – there might be a bit a trouble with him – but it’s nothin for you to worry about
Robert no trouble – can’t afford for trouble – i get the blame
Jimmy all a meant was just in case there was a bit a shoutin – don’t panic
Robert a bit of shouting
Jimmy yes a bit a shoutin – nothin for you to get involved in – ya understan – stay out of it – nothin to do with you
Robert a bit of shouting – everyone shouts here – it’s the national sport
Jimmy we all need to be heard at the same time
Robert smashed a pub up in town – not sure who started it – could be us – a lot of football hooligans back home – right wing – madmen – cross the fucking ball – people paid to cross the ball and they can’t cross the fucking thing
Jimmy my mother used to say you’d think with all the money they earned they’d be able to kick the ball properly
Robert she follow football
Jimmy no – hated it
Robert hated it
Jimmy yes hated it
Robert why
Jimmy what were you back in poland a policeman
Robert a barman
Jimmy barman – a fuckin barman
Robert yeah
Jimmy why haven’t ya got the hang of it then
Robert you don’t need to be any good to serve you pints of piss
Jimmy polish beer any better
Robert dog piss would be better
Jimmy do ya drink much dog piss in poland
Robert enough
Jimmy get some polish beer in an i’ll try it
Robert right
Jimmy a will
Robert right
Jimmy so you were a barman in poland and ya came over here to be a barman
Robert i didn’t come over here to be a barman – belfast isn’t barman mecca – not the fucking capital of the barman world – i came over to work and ended up a barman because i was one before
Jimmy more money here – peace process – when i was a kid no one came here – only people in belfast were belfast people – an british soldiers – the only black men here had uniforms on them
Robert money used to be great not so great now – why’d your mother hate football
Jimmy who knows she just did
Robert watching this rubbish i’m starting to hate it too
Jimmy anybody ya know over for the match
Robert no – everybody i know is already here – shoot you stupid fuck
Jimmy would you go back
Robert maybe
Jimmy not like it here
Robert don’t know
Jimmy we’re not very good with foreigners
Robert you always live in belfast then
Jimmy all my days – never left – belfast man through an through
Robert you should travel
Jimmy fuck travel
Robert come to poland – watch northern ireland play there
Jimmy what the fuck would a want to do that for
Robert see where i live – you might like it – you might want to stay there
Jimmy if it’s so good why didn’t you stay there
Robert good save – your keeper’s good – who is he
Jimmy taylor a think ya call him – don’t know who he plays for like
Robert our keeper’s a dickhead
Jimmy put another pint on there
Robert pulls him a pint.
when do you have a drink
Robert i don’t
Jimmy not ever
Robert no
Jimmy worked behind a bar seen it all
Robert no – both my parents were alcoholics – frightened to take one
Jimmy i can see how that would be right – it never really affected me – a few pints an that’s me
Robert they lived a life of no money so they drank
Jimmy easy enough done
Robert doesn’t have to be that way
Jimmy both dead are the
Robert no – both back in poland
Jimmy you send them money back
Robert no
They watch the match.
Robert jesus christ
Jimmy if someone didn’t know anythin about football an ya were to describe it to them – an then the watch this match – the wouldn’t realise the were watchin football would the
Robert no
Jimmy what would it look like the were watchin
Robert a fuck-up
Jimmy correct – a fuck-up – ya ever play football
Robert no – still do better than these clowns – you ever play it
Jimmy only as a wee lad at the bottom of the street – used to play matches to the best of twenty – took hours sometimes
Robert the best of twenty take days here
Jimmy aye
Robert you look as if you were useless
Jimmy how can ya tell
Robert the way you walk
Jimmy the way i walk – you talk a lot a balls – kneecapped – long after a played football
Robert kneecapped
Jimmy shot through the knees – for nothing – robbed a sweetie shop when i was seventeen – well for something but it was nothing – robbed a sweet shop when i was about seventeen – stupid – yer right about the football though i was rubbish – plenty of energy but no skill – used to annoy the other kids – just got in the way of things most a the time
Ian enters.
Robert fuck me – own goal – three-one
Jimmy (to Robert)
remember what a said – this has nothing to do with you
Robert yeah yeah yeah – fuck
Jimmy head-butts Ian. He holds Robert in place with his stare.
Ian that it – that the only reason you agreed to see me
Jimmy yes
Ian i think you want more than that
Jimmy i’ll kick you all over the fuckin street –
Ian (to Robert)
two pints of harp please
Robert you all drink harp – harp is dog piss – should drink good polish beer
Ian i’m not askin you to drink it am a
Robert ok – two pints
Jimmy you expectin someone else
Jimmy ask me do i want a pint a harp
Ian do you want a pint of harp
Jimmy i want fuck all from you
Robert just the one then
Ian i ordered two – just set them on the counter
Robert you watch the football
Ian not really
Robert nobody watch the football – nobody support their country
Ian who’s playin
Robert northern ireland and poland – not very good
Ian you polish
Robert yes polish
Ian is that why there was trouble in town because a the match
Robert the match is an excuse maybe
Ian maybe
Jimmy (to Ian)
stop talkin to him – right – stop fuckin talkin to him as if yer havin some type a social fuckin thing – (To Robert.) – watch the match – this has fuck all to do with you so just watch the match
Robert alright – pass the fucking ball – jesus christ – poles are dickheads
They watch the match.
Ian do you want to know why i’m here
Jimmy oh i know why you’re fuckin here – although i’m hopin it’s cancer – cancer of somethin that’s a real fuck-up – the eyeballs or the dick or somethin – somethin that takes its time to rot – please tell me it’s cancer – an that ya need to get into heaven because you’re really a good person – i knew this man once – dead now – this man married his childhood sweetheart – lovely girl – in love the two a them – all that type a gear – had kids – four a think – he had a good enough job an that – sold cars – married for about thirty years – and throughout the whole time he had affairs with other women – personally speakin i don’t really give a fuck about things like that – it’s his life i don’t care – he gets cancer – riddled with it – terminal – this fucker’s lyin on his deathbed an he wants to get into heaven – big catholic by the way – not that that matters – now here’s this poor woman thinkin for thirty years she’s been in a lovin carin relationship with a man that was faithful to her – on his deathbed this fucker says i’ve been havin affairs for thirty years dear – please forgive me – no moral fuckin fibre – frightened of dyin an couldn’t keep his pain to himself the fucker – he had to offload it on to her didn’t he – out of all the people i know – an a didn’t even know him that well – i hate that fucker the most
Ian i haven’t got cancer – i don’t believe in god – we’re the same age
Jimmy you an god – fuck me
Ian me an you
Jimmy fuck what age we are
Ian i’m here because we’re the same age
Jimmy you’re not my fuckin age – my age has to do with the life i’ve led – you haven’t led my life
Ian i led a life – my life
Jimmy i don’t fuckin care – (To Robert.) – a pint of dog piss please – score predictions – what are they
Robert three-one now – about thirty minutes to go – difficult – are we betting on this
Jimmy no – i’ll make it easy for ya – poland are shite
Robert so are northern ireland
Jimmy less shite
Ian we were both sixteen an now we’re both fifty-two
Jimmy we’re predicting scores at the moment – as far as i know age has got fuck all to do with that
Ian it means something
Jimmy three-two to northern ireland
Robert four-three to poland
Jimmy that’s not predictin the score that’s just hopin for a result
Robert ok i’ll think harder about it – four-three to poland
Jimmy up yer polish hole
Robert up your nordie hole
Jimmy (to Ian)
you ever watch poland play before
Ian no
Jimmy sure – not even the second half of a match – too busy to watch the first half but catch the second
Ian no
Jimmy no
Ian starts into his second pint. They watch the match.
this is shite turn it off
Robert turn it off – what is that turn it off
Jimmy it’s shite
Robert it’s meant to be shite
Jimmy (to Ian)
all the others refuse did the – not want to hear yer sad little story – am i your last hope a salvation
Ian you’re the first
Jimmy i should feel privileged
Ian it’s because we’re the same age
Jimmy stop fucking saying that – nothing to do with age
Ian ya must want to say somethin or ya wouldn’t have agreed to meet me
Jimmy i pick when i want to speak
Ian and where
Jimmy you have a problem with here
Ian no – i understand why – doesn’t make it any easier – but that’s the point
Jimmy is it
Ian yes – i’ve been here before – recently
Jimmy had a look an then moved on
Ian yes
Jimmy how long did you look for
Ian two hours – stood across the road
Jimmy what time of day was it
Ian about tea time
Jimmy right – should’ve called in and said hello
Ian stood there for two hours
Jimmy there was flesh stuck to the wall across the road – where you were standin – difficult to scrape off – difficult because it’s flesh an you don’t want to scrape it off
Ian you drink here aye
Jimmy i watch football here
Ian i drink in town
Jimmy how interestin
Ian on my own – a few pints – ya know
Jimmy is that it – have we shared now – bonded – are we now soul mates – can we confide – have you tried to top yourself and failed – is that why you’re here
Ian i’m here because you agreed to meet me
Jimmy fifty-two – took a long time to ask
Ian it needed to be done
Jimmy well fuckin bully for you
Ian can we assume somethin
Jimmy yeah let’s do that – let’s assume – i assume you’re a cunt
Ian let’s assume we can both kick each other round the street
Jimmy stands up. Ian stands up. They face each other. The moment lasts, then they sit down.
the truth is i don’t know why i’m here – i feel dislocated or something – i have to sort things out – not being able to look myself in the eye when i’m havin a shave maybe – that’s why i’m here
Jimmy you’re here because i allowed you to be here
Ian what we do then is up to you
Jimmy is it
Ian yes
Jimmy maybe you should sit there an drink yer pint – take yer surroundings in – watch the match – if talk happens it happens – if it doesn’t – well sure ya had a pint an ya watched a match
They watch the match.
poland is ninety-nine per cent catholic – that’s a lot of catholics isn’t it – do some damage there – every time you shook a stick you’d hit one – (To Robert.) – anyone ever hit you with a stick robert
Robert my father – many times
Jimmy did he
Robert yes
Jimmy fuck that – my father never lifted his hand to me in his life – he should’ve done
Robert you wanted your father to hit you – been hit like me you wouldn’t say that
Jimmy what would a want someone to fuckin hit me for – whenever i was a kid and a did somethin ya got slapped for my mother used to do the slappin – he should’ve helped her out with that – taken the heat off her ya know
Robert not slapped – beaten
Jimmy men can be full a rage
Robert that’s no excuse
Jimmy no – if he were here now i might get him to slap me – it wasn’t in him – when i was a kid a beat another wee lad up – a remember the look of disappointment on my da’s face when he found out – i was right in doing it though – wee bastard thought he was bein smart – round here when i grew up was mixed – i said to ya – we used to play football at the bottom a the street – sometimes the ball would get hit into the river – if it didn’t go too far out the tide would push it back in – ya kicked it too far out and it just floated off – there was a wee lad a few years older than me – a protestant – we were only kids but he started wearing a tartan scarf – my dad had bought me a new football – so i brought it down to the bottom a the street – yer wee man kicked it into the river as hard as he could – i beat the fuck out of him – i was smackin his head off the pavement – only the other wee lads pulled me off i’d have killed the wee fucker – see when i was doin it too – i was screaming in his face – fuckin orange bastard – it came out a nowhere – fuckin orange bastard – fuckin orange bastard – fuckin – orange – bastard – (To Ian.) – there ya go – yer turn – i’ve paved the way for ya – you were right to do what you did – i’ve decided to make it easier for you – this is me playin my part in the truth and reconciliation process – you were right – we were all cunts – all of us – all the catholics – even the ninety-nine per cent in poland – and the ones tearin up belfast today
Ian can we do this in private
Jimmy no
Jimmy i think it should be open – if this succeeds we will be seen as the first – we will be held up as a beacon – a fuckin nobel prize maybe – seeing our policticians have no bottle – robert will be our committee – our truth an reconciliation committee – won’t you robert
Robert i’m watching the match
Jimmy perfect – i’m sure you already know robert but i think i should explain the background to this – for thirty-odd years this was a fucked up place – blah blah blah – now it’s not such a fucked up place – it’s the love-in capital of europe
Robert love-in capital of europe – yeah i can see that
Jimmy yes – i want this in public – the floor is yours
Ian you know my name
Jimmy i might do – say it out loud though
Ian my name is ian gibson – i am fifty-two years old – in nineteen seventy-four i was sixteen
Jimmy so was i
Ian i know that
Jimmy you look younger than me – life done you less damage – maybe i’m just a fuck up – don’t think that sayin we were both sixteen in nineteen seventy-four makes us the same – it doesn’t
Ian we’ve seen the same things
Jimmy you don’t know what the fuck i’ve seen – say it – that’s what you’re here to do so fucking do it – say it – out loud – every fucking detail – i’ll start you off – on the third of july nineteen seventy-four …
Ian on the third of july nineteen seventy-four i …
Jimmy you don’t know the start of the story – you only know the start of your fucking story – i’ll start – on the third of july nineteen seventy-four poland – you hear that robert – poland
Robert we nearly scored there – what’s the fucking point in nearly scoring
Jimmy poland were playin germany in the world cup – in this pub – this very pub – five men an the barman – were watchin the match – the reason i know they were watchin the match was because they were watchin it on our tv – there was no tv in the bar back then – so my da took the tv from our house an carried it up the street to the pub – so he could have a pint an watch the match at the same time – much the same as we’re doing now – he had backed poland to win the world cup – we only had one tv – everybody only had one tv – there was murder in our house that day – excuse the pun – whenever my da said he was takin the tv my ma threw a wobbler – a lot of screamin an shoutin – normal behaviour – anyway my da took the tv an carried it up the street to the pub – my ma ran behind him an threw his dinner after him – last thing she said to him was – stay up there – live up there if you want – she didn’t mean that it was just the type a thing she used to say – just before he left the house with the tv he shouted up the stairs to me if i wanted to come up with him to watch the match – it was the first time he had ever asked me if i wanted to go to the pub with him – not to drink – just to be in his company – i was too busy sittin in my room thinkin about this girl i wanted to go out with called jackie – so i said no – maybe later – and my ma shouted he’s never going out with you – so five punters a barman a tv and the poland and germany match – my da knew all these men a lifetime – all grew up an lived in the same area – they were like a wee community of their own – all catholics – thinkin back on that now i don’t know what that means – ya think of a catholic as a certain thing – well i don’t know what opinions any of these men had – don’t know what opinions my da had – he never spoke of such things – so for the purposes of this story they were just catholics – at the time i wouldn’t have known their ages – when you’re sixteen all men look like men – difficult to tell – they all looked old – they all looked older than you think you’re ever going to reach – i know their ages now – my da was forty-six married with one child – me – he worked in the fruit market – liked a drink an the odd bet – got married to my mother when they were both nineteen – another man – who also worked in the fruit market was fifty-three – he was married with six children – i went to school with two of his sons – forty-eight – a joiner – not married – lived with his mother – fifty-six – worked in the civil service – married – three grown-up children – can’t remember think they all lived in different parts of the world – thirty-six – not married – teacher – any time ya saw him at the weekend he was drunk – always remember him bein very well dressed – rumour had it he was a bit odd – and the barman – thirty-nine – married with twin babies – combined age – two hundred and seventy-eight years old – two hundred and seventy-eight years of living – they lived in the same area – they drank in the same pub and knew nearly everythin about each other – two hundred and seventy-eight years – one mother – four wives – and then all those children – that’s what we’re talkin about here – that’s the story – so – they’re watchin the match on our tv – pints in hand – and – what – yer turn
Ian is that it – is this the way we’re going
Jimmy yer turn
Ian i have to tell this my own way
Jimmy just start
Ian i was sixteen
Jimmy we know that
Ian let me say what i have to say
Jimmy just say what happened – simple enough isn’t it – the facts are the truth – isn’t that why you’re here to tell the truth and be reconciled
Ian no – and there’s more to the truth than facts – i just didn’t decide to do what i did there and then – i had lived a life up to that point
Jimmy yer life isn’t an excuse
Ian it can help explain
Jimmy i don’t need an explanation – i get it – we were – are – fenian bastards – and our existence threatened the state – we were – are – the enemy – you were at war with us – all of us – we were all potential members of the ira an therefore legitimate targets – you were told that and you believed it – but most of all you were told we were fenian bastards – i know that because twenty thousand protestants marched by the top of our street on the way to a vanguard rally – maybe you were one of them
Ian i was – as was my father
Jimmy well then ya know – twenty thousand people screamin fenian bastards – so as i say i get it – this isn’t about why – this is about admitting – here – now
Ian i was sixteen years of age when i became a member of the uvf
Jimmy my grandfather lied about his age to go an fight in the first world war – he was sixteen – not the same thing though is it
Jimmy an irish catholic fightin in the british army
Ian it’s complex – i get that – just let me say what i have to say or at least fuckin start it – up to that point i hadn’t been on active service – as kids we were asked to do stuff an we all did it without question
Jimmy stuff
Ian army drill – cleanin guns – hidin guns – actin as lookouts – ya know what a mean
Jimmy yes
Ian if there’s a picture you have in yer head of me make sure it’s when i was sixteen – i was approached not by another sixteen-year-old but by men – grown men – men i had been taught to believe – when i was asked it felt like these men had personally given me an identity – an that now my identity would automatically have respect – it was a war and you were fightin for yer country – the day this happened – third of july nineteen seventy-four – i had only been told the day before what i was goin to do – i was excited and petrified at the same time – anyway – i didn’t eat – my mum made me breakfast but i didn’t eat it – i had to meet up with the guy who was going to drive the car – i was too young to drive the car – i didn’t know him – i was to meet him an another guy i did know at four o’clock – i had been given some money for my birthday – which had been two weeks before – i went into town and bought a pair of wranglers – went through the barriers – soldiers searchin me – i hated that – being searched in my own city – i hated how the ira had destroyed my city – i never felt that i was on the same side as the soldiers though – they always felt foreign to me – as if they didn’t know why they were here an what they were fightin for – bought the wranglers an went home – had a big row with my mum
Jimmy where was yer da that day
Ian my dad was dead
Jimmy blown up – shot – what
Ian died of a heart attack when he was forty-three – smoked like a train – inside our house was always a shitty brown colour with the smoke – what i learned i learned on the street not in the house – my parents were decent people
Jimmy so were mine
Ian i had a big row with my mum – i wanted her to turn the jeans up but she wouldn’t – turn them up just below the knees like – she said she couldn’t understand that – that it was a waste of material – why would ya buy a new pair a jeans an just cut half a them away – i told her that’s what everybody did – she then said to me that’s the exact reason why you shouldn’t do it – i kept goin on an on an on at her – a was thinkin about goin out that night an wanted to wear the new wranglers – i tortured her until she gave in – for the first year i was in jail she wouldn’t come up an see me – disgraced – she came up regular after that but never got used to it – meet up at four o’clock in one of the flats the uvf used – the two other guys would’ve been in their late twenties – don’t ask me anythin about them – i won’t tell you
Jimmy i wouldn’t expect you to – nor do i care
Ian the other guy was to drive the car and i was to throw the bomb – the plan was if there was a lookout at the pub just throw it in the doorway without leaving the car – if there was no lookout get out a the car open the door an throw it into the pub – whenever the guy said that i immediately hoped there was a lookout – the other two guys knew each other – i sort of only knew one a them – he was higher up the ranks – it was him that got me involved in the first place – he was from our area – the other guy was from another part of belfast – don’t know where – after we knew what we were doin they talked away to each other – sort of ignored me – they smoked a lot a fegs – i didn’t smoke – i think if i had’ve smoked the might have involved me more in their talk – talkin about football – the world cup – one a them fancied holland to win it the other one fancied west germany – after the guy i knew left me an the other guy just sat there – wasn’t that long anyway – he smoked another three or four fegs – then we got into the car – can’t remember any of the journey – no details – nothing – no idea how long it took – all i remember is it was still daylight – the sun was shining – the car pulled up outside the pub – there was no lookout – all the guy drivin the car said was – hurry up to fuck – i had the bomb in my hand – i got out of the car – he said – throw it in then run like fuck to the car – he then drove to the other side a the street – he didn’t want to be near it if it went off before it should’ve – i ran across the pavement – opened the door to the pub – shouted – shouted – fuckin fenian bastards – threw the bomb into the bar then ran – the car moved off before i could get to it – it turned a corner – i ran after it – i heard the explosion but didn’t look back – the car stopped – i got in – yer man said – fuckin yes – fuckin yes – good lad – we drove off – six men were killed in that explosion – including your father
Jimmy when you opened the door what did ya see
Ian i can’t remember
Jimmy what did you fucking see – fenian bastards – a group of men having a drink and watching a football match – where were they sittin – in this bar – the one we are sittin in now – where were they sittin – (Moves to centre stage.) – the bar was here – (Points upstage.) – you ran in through the door there – (Points downstage.) – when you ran in the bar would’ve been directly in front of you – where were they sittin
Ian the barman was behind the bar – two men were sittin at opposite ends of the bar – the other three were closer to the tv set – which was in the middle of the bar
Jimmy where did you throw the bomb
Ian i threw it at the three men watchin the tv – i had been told it was always best to try an hit the middle – it spreads out in all directions – do more damage – there was only six men in the bar – all dead
Jimmy say their names – do you know their names
Ian yes – joe turner
Jimmy the barman – (Moves to where the bar was.) – standin here servin drink – doin his job – say all their names at once – like a group – this is about us livin through this together – isn’t that why you’re here – both sixteen
Ian joe turner – aiden miskelly – paddy mallon – frank healy – brendan mcguigan – an john loughrin
Jimmy joe behind the bar – aiden and brendan at either end of it – paddy frank – and my da – sittin round the tv – all watchin poland play west germany in the world cup – that’s just a picture though isn’t it – that’s not the story – we don’t know the story – no one left to tell us – i always like to think that it ended with a joke an a laugh – men havin a drink to help them ease the burden of the daily grind – an on top of that – belfast in those days – a few drinks – a release – watchin the match an shootin the shit – maybe like they were in their own cave or somethin – protected from all the fuckin nonsense goin on in the outside world – the only thoughts bein about who’s going to win – an what awaits me when i walk in through the door with the tv – is it goin to be the silent treatment or the screamin match – either way it was worth it – say for that moment in time – for that evening – that’s all they wanted
Ian i’m here – but i don’t know what to say to you
Jimmy you could start with i’m sorry
Ian i can’t speak for the actions of a sixteen-year-old child – but i can speak for myself now – i’m sorry what happened
Jimmy that’s of no use
Ian i know
Jimmy no you don’t
Ian i think i do
Jimmy maybe we should travel back in time – one sixteen-year-old kid sayin they’re sorry to another
Ian i wouldn’t have said it then
Jimmy i wouldn’t have listened
Ian and you are now
Jimmy bein sorry has no meaning – i don’t know what sorry is – is it you sayin if you had to to it all again you wouldn’t
Ian it means now as a man – ian gibson feels that what he did as a sixteen-year-old kid was wrong – and wasn’t worth it
Jimmy if i believed in god i’d say it’s him that deals in right an wrong
Ian i didn’t have to come here
Jimmy yes you did
Ian maybe it’s just about talking
Jimmy talking
Ian yes – and listening
Jimmy i’ll tell you what happened – haven’t ever told this to anyone – strange that the first person i tell it to is you – i heard the same explosion you heard – i knew where it was right away – used to the sound of explosions in those days – knew how close they were – knew it was at the top a the street – only place worth blowing up at the top a the street was the pub – my mum knew where it was as well – she was out a the house an up the street in one stride – her screamin would’ve woken the dead – it didn’t though – i walked up the street – too frightened to run – everyone movin past me – it felt like i was movin in slow motion – i knew – before i got there i knew – that’s what happens here – men go out for a pint an the end up blown up or shot – there’s no way that wasn’t going to be the case – a rule of nature – a law of belfast – it was mayhem – it was like the whole a the world had landed on yer doorstep – everyone tryin to control somethin that was beyond control – the whole front a the pub had been blown away – so ya could see inside – didn’t make much difference everythin inside had been blown outside – includin the people – joe turner had a shaft of glass the length of a sword through his chest – aiden miskelly’s legs had been blown off an brendan mcguigan looked untouched – they were dead – you just knew they were dead – paddy frank and my da were nowhere to be seen – for a moment i thought maybe my da wasn’t there – or maybe they had disappeared into thin air – an the would reappear once everythin had settled down – maybe my da had a super power that i didn’t know – he had the ability to disappear when it looked like the end was near – he didn’t have a super power but he did disappear – there was nothin of him left – my mother was holdin his coat – she must’ve seen it in the rubble – she was lookin around the spot where she found the coat – i saw somethin her eyes hadn’t reached yet – my dad’s trousers – one of his legs still in them – i could see my mum’s look gettin closer to the trousers – i ran towards her – there was a priest there he tried to stop me – i pushed him away – i was too late – she stopped screaming – she just kept repeating the same words – oh john – oh dear god john – she held me tight to her thinkin she was shieldin me from it – both of us too late – both saw what we shouldn’t have – bits an pieces – it was all just bits an pieces – if you had’ve hung around that’s what you would’ve seen
Ian i’ve also seen things i shouldn’t have
Jimmy was i responsible for them
Ian no
Jimmy then that’s not for now is it – so what did you do – we were both sixteen – i’ve told you what i did – so what did you do after you drove off – how did you celebrate
Ian that isn’t part of this
Jimmy just say it – finish the story
Ian it’s not a story it’s a life experience
Jimmy they teach you that bullshit in jail – it’s one fucking story among thousands – so have the decency to finish it
Ian we drove to some waste ground left the car there an some wee lads torched it – the type a thing i did when i was fourteen – we both went round to a social club near by – to report back – the two of us walked there in silence – the other guy wasn’t silent because he was thinking about what had just happened – he was all pumped up – i think he just couldn’t be bothered talkin to me because i was a kid – what had just happened bonded us and the walk to the social showed we were strangers – when we got into the place it was bunged
Jimmy did the all cheer
Ian those that knew what had happened did – most a the people were there just because it was a club ya could get cheap drink in – the top man bought me a pint – i didn’t drink – i didn’t say that – just drank – the other guy gave him all the details – talk about doin a good job – fightin the good fight – felt good to hear that – i was a soldier that had played his part in the battle against republicanism – i was a soldier – younger than the british soldiers on the street but a soldier none the less – i was told there would be other things to do but for the while i had to stay low – another pint – my head was spinnin – part pride part fear part drink – the top man then pointed me to a group of girls in the corner – all a bit older than me – he said they were doin their bit – he said i could have any one a them i wanted – only i had the pints in me i wouldn’t have had the courage to go over to talk to them – i sat with them – there was a few other boys there – older than me – the girls were all interested in me though – the older boys knew not to say anythin – i talked with a girl called sheila
Jimmy what about
Ian we had both gone to the same school – she didn’t remember me – i remembered her though – she kissed me an we went outside
Jimmy that was yer reward
Ian yeah – it was the first time i had sex – up an entry – she got pregnant
Jimmy some fuckin circle of life that – does the child know how it came about
Ian no
Jimmy you should tell them – add some colour to their life experience
Ian fuck up – right – that’s enough – just shut the fuck up
Jimmy sorry i have no right to talk about yer child
Ian she had an abortion – i didn’t know that at the time – didn’t know anythin about it at all – i knew that wee girl but didn’t – so i didn’t see her again after that – a couple a years ago i’m standin in this bar an this women comes over to me – asked me did i remember her – drunk like – both drunk – i didn’t remember – she told me who she was – i remembered then alright – told her i was sorry i was only a kid – then she told me about the abortion – had to go to england to get it done – her an her friend – got the boat to liverpool – got it done – then got the boat back – never told anyone – too ashamed – she said to me that night – that group a girls – they were all warned whatever one i picked had to do what i wanted – told me it all haunted her – and that’s how she looked – haunted
Jimmy not much of a reward then after all
Ian stop saying stupid fucking things – there’s no point in this if it doesn’t fuckin mean something
Jimmy don’t ask me to feel sorry for you – i don’t
Ian i’m not asking for that – that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen – it doesn’t mean it’s not a part of my life – i’m no less or no more alive than you are
Jimmy what else did you do then – what other events are part of your life – the aftermath – what did you become – moulded – shaped – formed – the consequences of yer actions
Ian i went to jail
Jimmy i know that
Ian educated myself while i was in ther
Jimmy what did you educate yerself to be
Ian i’ve a degree in …
Jimmy don’t tell me any more – i thought i needed to know who you are – what has happened to you in yer life – might explain somethin – the truth of the matter is i don’t need to hear it – it doesn’t help – maybe i needed to see you face to face to understand that – i need to tell you how things are for me though
Ian right
Jimmy no not like that – not to punish you – this is about finishing something – i had just finished my o levels that summer an was plannin to go back an do my a levels – that was always expected of me – when you’re an only child there’s time spent on you – that’s it you see time spent – anyway – i was bright – the expectation was i would go to university – i didn’t – i left school at sixteen an became a spark – that was the first time i let my mother down – ya don’t know what yer parents mean to each other when you’re growin up – don’t see them in that light – there’s somethin happened that i need to say – whenever my father died i stopped believin in god – that feels like a natural response to that – how could somethin as terrible as that happen an there still be a god – not believin in god because of anger has now turned to atheism – which i’m glad about but it has consequences – my belief there is no god an therefore no afterlife began after you had blown my father up – they are directly linked – if that incident hadn’t have happened i might still believe in god to this day – that’s important – i didn’t know how this affected my mother – all i really knew about was how it affected me – all that time they spent together – they were married twenty-seven years when he died – eleven years of that twenty-seven they were on their own – then sixteen of it with me – difficult to describe bein an only child to people who have brothers or sisters – it’s like the three of you are this unit – it makes sense – it’s like ya go through the world together – yet because there’s only three you still remain individuals – very close then apart – very close then apart – the point is that i hadn’t realised that they loved each other – was only a kid – didn’t know what that type of love was – know it now – married once an have kids of my own – too late knowin it now though – so i didn’t know how much pain my mother was in – only knew my own pain – only child – selfish – i’m not talkin about right after it by the way – for a year or so she depended on the women around her – then as shit started to happen to them they looked after their own grief – she wanted me to look after her and i didn’t – i looked after myself – i thought she didn’t handle it well – i felt she didn’t try hard enough – she let grief and lone liness consume her – the grief and loneliness of havin someone you love taken away from you for no reason that you truly understand – she lived on her own for seventeen years after my da died – never met another man and as each year passed gathered up more illness – never away from the doctor’s surgery – i told her it was all in her head – that she needed to live life – she needed to realise that she was on her own but that that was ok – don’t get me wrong we got on – it was just that i was of no use to her – i was on my own downward spiral – not that that’s any a yer business – i’m not lookin for pity here – she wanted me to notice her and i didn’t – she took ill – it was more serious than a thought – it was more serious than i would let her believe – brought into hospital for tests – she had cancer – i think she got it from worryin – needed an operation – had the operation the next day – she died on the operating table – i didn’t get a chance to talk to her – since the day and hour she died i wanted to say to her – i’m sorry i didn’t notice what was happening to you – i should’ve known better – i should’ve looked after you – and you see i can’t even put that in a prayer now – after all this time i can’t hear my father’s voice any more – it’s gone from my head – that time has passed – i can still hear my mother’s though – there’s nothing you can do about that – nothing you can say – nothing you can do
Ian i was sixteen years of age – i’m trying to do the right thing
Jimmy i know – when the twenty thousand of you marched by the top of our street i screamed at the top of my voice – fuckin orange bastards – fuckin orange bastards – i was sixteen as well – i know what world you lived in
Ian finishes his pint.
Robert another
Ian no
Ian stands up and offers Jimmy his hand. Jimmy stands. They shake hands.
Jimmy don’t ever come back here
Ian exits. Robert pulls Jimmy another pint and they watch the match. Poland score.
Robert yes yes yes – northern ireland my arse
Jimmy that’s it over – it’s over
Robert it’s not over until it’s over
Jimmy it’s over
Robert you don’t care anyway
Jimmy i do now it’s getting to the end – if i have a choice i’d rather northern ireland win than poland – it would make no sense me wantin poland to win
Robert shut up – you talking is going to stop them scoring a goal
Jimmy is that how it works
Robert i’m concentrating on them getting another goal which might help – you talking is stopping me concentrating
Jimmy i’ll concentrate on the referee blowin the whistle then
Silence.
Robert go on – go go
Jimmy blow the fuckin whistle
The final whistle.
Robert jammy bastards
Jimmy see what happened there
Robert what
Jimmy i didn’t really concentrate on the referee blowin the whistle but he blew it anyway
Robert not the same thing
Jimmy no – maybe not
Robert what does that mean for the group
Jimmy no idea
Robert you sit there and watch all the matches but you don’t know the overall story
Jimmy correct
Robert what’s the point in that
Jimmy passes the time
Robert you going to meet with that guy again
Jimmy no
Robert i heard what you were talking about
Jimmy you were meant to
Robert is that why you watch the matches – sit in the same pub your dad sat in – watching football
Jimmy i sit and watch matches here because i live round the corner and it’s borin watchin them on yer own
Robert i thought you didn’t care about the matches
Jimmy it’s better than watchin nothing
Robert maybe you should meet him again
Jimmy why
Robert why not
Jimmy why not – because i have no need to – that’s why not
Robert some good might come from it
Jimmy you know nothing do you – some good did come from it – we met – we understand each other – that’s enough
Jimmy finishes his pint.
Robert you want another one
Jimmy nah – enough’s enough – good luck
Robert good night jimmy – see you tomorrow – jammy bastards
Jimmy even with god on yer side you can’t win – tomorrow
Jimmy exits. Robert turns the TV off. He receives a text.
i mightn’t wait up – the baby has me knackered
no problem
don’t walk home in case there’s trouble
i won’t
night
night
He sits at the bar. He sends a text.
how are u?
i want to go back to poland – you’ve abandoned me
don’t talk about going home this will work out
i sit in this flat alone all day waiting on u – and u don’t appear – you go home to yer family – sometimes i want to end it all
i’ll come over after work
will u stay the night
maybe
finish early
i’ll try
Robert starts to clear up. The kids in the street start beating on the window shutters. They shout abuse:
Voices three-two – three-two – fuckin polish bastard – dirty smelly fuckin bastard – go back to where you come from and shite in the street you fucker – polish wanker – three-two – three-two – three-two
Robert gets a baseball bat from behind the bar and stands waiting. Lights fade to dark.