It should have been like any of the other days that Caleb had come to the Waglers’ house to pick up Annie so they could ride together to work at the bakery.
It wasn’t.
He was exhausted from tossing and turning, checking his bedside clock every few minutes in the hope that dawn was near. Leanna’s voice echoed in his mind: But I do have one important request. Please don’t hurt my sister as her last boyfriend did.
Doing Annie any injury was the last thing he wanted. Despite not knowing what her ex had done, he wanted to see Annie’s scintillating smile and listen to her excitement when she offered up yet another idea. If he had his way, she’d never be sad ever again. That wasn’t realistic, but his heart didn’t care. Its yearning was to be given in to her care.
Was that why he felt as nervous as a new scholar on the first day of school when he jumped out of his buggy? Only the kitchen lights were on, and he guessed the family was sleeping later after a busy day at the mud sale. A glance at Lyndon’s house showed it was dark, too, but the barn glowed. Milking couldn’t be delayed because someone had had a long day the day before.
Walking into the kitchen, he started to greet Annie, who was reaching for a bowl on an upper shelf. Joey stood behind her, unsteady on his feet, groping toward the top of the stove where oatmeal bubbled in a pot.
Caleb exploded across the kitchen, scooping up the boppli and swinging him away from the stove before his little fingers were burned. Joey let out a cry of surprise as if he couldn’t figure out how he went from standing on his own two feet to having them sway twice his height above the floor.
“Turn him around, Caleb!” Annie ordered.
“What?” Caleb looked at her.
“Turn him around, Caleb! Now!”
“He’ll scream once he sees who’s holding him.”
“Turn him around and hold him nose to nose.”
“What?”
Annie was usually so pragmatic. Why was she acting crazy?
“Do it, Caleb!”
Not sure what she meant, he shifted the kind so Joey was facing him.
“Nose to nose,” Annie urged. “Do it, Caleb! Fast!”
Lifting the boppli higher, Caleb felt like a dummkopf when he put the tip of his nose against Joey’s tiny one. He steeled himself for the screech that would batter his ears.
But the little boy didn’t scream. Joey regarded him with dark green eyes much like Caleb’s own, then gave him a big grin.
When the kind reached up and ran his fingers along Caleb’s face as he’d done to others, Caleb’s breath hitched. Was the boppli accepting him? Tears blurred his distorted view of Joey’s face as the toddler began to chortle as he repeated something that sounded like “Kay-eb” over and over.
“He’s trying to say your name,” Annie said.
“He’s not crying.” Caleb chuckled when the little boy continued to pat his face.
“Because he can see you.”
He looked past the kind to where Annie stood by the stove. She wasn’t smiling. When she outlined what she suspected about Joey’s vision, he listened without comment until she mentioned that she believed the boppli had mistaken him for someone else, someone who had treated him poorly.
When she took Joey and put him in his high chair, where pieces of toast waited on the tray, Caleb struggled to dampen his rage. Who would have frightened a little kind so?
“Do you think it’s why Becky Sue...?” He let his voice trail off when his cousin walked into the kitchen, rubbing sleep from her eyes.
“What about me?” she asked before looking from him to her son. “He’s not crying!”
Annie put a hand on Caleb’s shoulder as she said, “He knows Caleb isn’t the person who’s scared him.”
The teenager shuddered before stiffening her shoulders. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Caleb went around the table to stand in front of his cousin. “I think you do, Becky Sue.”
Behind him, Joey kept repeating his name in a singsong voice before giggling with obvious joy.
Becky Sue moved to collect her son, but Annie stepped between her and the high chair.
“I don’t know,” Annie said quietly, “how to tell you this other than straight out. Joey should be examined by an eye doktor. He can’t see more than an inch or two in front of his face.”
The girl’s face lost color. “No, that’s impossible.”
“It’s possible, and it’s true.” Annie’s voice remained gentle. “I discovered it yesterday while you were at the mud sale. It was confirmed when Caleb held Joey close enough so your son could see his face. We’ll get him to see a doktor who can help him. Doktors can do marvelous things, so they should be able to help him.”
Caleb interjected, “Say the word, Becky Sue, and I’ll make an appointment for him. Once we know what’s wrong and what can be done, then we can talk about the other issue.”
With a brokenhearted cry, the girl snatched the boppli from the chair and sped out of the room.
“Let me,” Caleb said as Becky Sue’s footsteps pounded up the stairs.
“I’ll show you where to go,” Annie replied.
He followed her upstairs. When she pointed to the second door on the left, he nodded and walked toward it. He paused at the door, unsure if he should enter the room his cousin shared with Annie.
“Go ahead,” Annie murmured from behind him. “You must talk with her. I’ll wait out here.”
He gave her a quick nod, took a deep breath and went into the room that didn’t look so different from the one where he slept. Though there were two narrow beds instead of his broad one, they were covered with handmade quilts as his was. Joey’s crib, where the little boy was cuddling a blue teddy bear and babbling to it as if it understood him, sat in a spot where, in his own room, Caleb had placed a dower chest that had been in his family since their arrival in America over two hundred and fifty years before. The same green shades as in his room could be drawn to keep out the sun, and rag rugs warmed the oak floors.
Becky Sue looked up at him from where she sat on the bed closer to the crib. She didn’t say a word, but seemed to withdraw into herself like a turtle pulling into its shell.
Deciding to take a cue from Annie, he cut to the heart of the matter. “I don’t know what I’ve done to make you distrust me so much.”
“You haven’t done anything.”
“Then why are you upset that Joey didn’t shriek today when I was holding him? I’d have thought you’d be glad, too, that he isn’t terrified of me any longer. What’s wrong?”
She stared at her folded hands. “I can’t say.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Isn’t that the same?”
Not wanting to get into another discussion with her that would go in circles and never get to the point, he said, “You’ve been here over a month, Becky Sue. I thought you would have come to trust me.”
“It’s not a matter of trust.”
“Then what is it?”
She didn’t reply, only continued to look at her hands that were clasped so hard her knuckles were bleached.
He noticed how her fingers trembled, and he sighed. Confronting her like this wasn’t getting him anywhere. She held on to her secrets as if they were as precious as her son.
No, he corrected himself when he saw her lips trembling harder than her fingers. She was terrified. Of revealing her secrets?
He knelt by her bed. “Becky Sue, whatever or whoever frightened you and Joey was wrong. I’m here and the Waglers are here—in fact the whole Leit in Harmony Creek Hollow is here—to help you and your son.”
“Danki,” she whispered, then added nothing else.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he said, praying she’d have a change of heart.
God must have had other plans for them, because she stared at her folded hands and added nothing more. When Caleb stood, she didn’t move.
Walking out of the room, Caleb closed the door behind him. He shook his head when Annie’s worried expression voiced a question she didn’t have to ask.
They had no choice but to wait for Becky Sue to be honest with them.
He hoped it would be soon, and he prayed that the teenager wouldn’t take it in her head to run away with her boppli again.
Annie was relieved when Becky Sue agreed to join her and her siblings at the pond down the hill from the Kuhns brothers’ tree farm. Moonlight shone on the snow, making it look fresh. About thirty people, including some of their Englisch neighbors, had come together for the evening. Annie looked forward to sampling popcorn balls and the taffy that the youth group had made.
“I guess God does love us,” she said as she sat beside Caleb on a hummock where the snow had been covered with tarps and blankets.
He laughed as he laced up his skate as she did. “You sound as if this is something you’ve just discovered.”
“I’ve always known it, but it’s a joy to rediscover the truth over and over again. The gut Lord may have given us a horrible winter, but he also gave us a frozen pond to enjoy.”
“I’m glad I was able to find a pair of skates in the thrift shop by the old courthouse.” Caleb pulled on his other skate after setting his boots next to each other beside the others left behind. “They had only one pair in my size.”
“A skating party wouldn’t be much fun without skates, ain’t so?” She laced her skates with easy skill. “We had extras, so Becky Sue found a pair that fits.”
“Has she said anything?”
“No.” Tying off her skates, she wiggled her toes in two pairs of wool socks. “Let’s not talk about that tonight.”
“I agree. I hear you brought hot chocolate. Your famous recipe?”
She hoped the moonlight would wash out the blush climbing her cheeks. “I don’t think it’s famous.”
“It should be. I’ve tasted your hot chocolate several times, and you add delicious flavors to it. What did you bring tonight?”
“Chocolate and raspberry.”
“Is that one of the flavors you suggested serving at the bakery?”
“One of them.”
“What about the others? Are they this gut?”
“My favorite is the chocolate and raspberry, but others prefer vanilla or the one with kaffi flavoring.”
He slid his hand over hers as he leaned toward her. “I think we need to talk more about serving hot chocolate. Your grossmammi was right when she told me how many gut ideas you have.” He finished tying his skates as he said, “Business can wait, too. Let’s have fun.”
When he smiled as she stood on her blades, Annie could have believed spring had erupted around them. Happiness wrapped her in warmth. Could Leanna be right? Was it possible that Caleb, a man she trusted and loved, could have strong feelings about her, too?
Caleb stood and stepped past her, gliding along the ice. She grinned. She’d learned that anything he did he did well because he gave every bit of himself to the job.
As she put her feet, one at a time, on the ice, Becky Sue skidded toward her. Annie halted her before the teen knocked them both over.
“Komm mol,” called Becky Sue, holding out her hand. “Are you going to skate, or have you frozen yourself to this spot?”
With a chuckle, Annie took her hand. Becky Sue pulled her along the ice as Annie and Leanna had each other when they were little girls.
Impromptu games of snap-the-whip and races among the younger boys and girls sent waves of excited voices through the crisp winter air. Annie was pulled into some games and joined others as the evening unfolded. She waved to Caleb when she passed him as he careened across the ice after being whipped off the line of skaters. She paused once to enjoy a popcorn ball and watch as her sister skated past with Benjamin Kuhns before they fell to the ice and slid into two other people. Soon the whole crowd was laughing together.
More than once, Becky Sue came looking for her. Each time, Annie agreed to skate with the girl and used the opportunity to introduce the teen to others closer to her age.
Abruptly, Becky Sue shoved her forward. Before Annie could ask what the girl was doing, she hit something hard. Hands grabbed her arms to steady her and keep her from falling.
“You should have signal lights to show where you’re going, Annie.”
At Caleb’s laugh, she raised her eyes to see him standing wondrously close. His chuckles faded as the heat in his eyes deepened until she feared the ice would melt under their feet. Releasing her arms, he held out his hand.
She put hers on it, and his fingers closed around it. They began to skate in perfect unison. Neither of them spoke, and that was fine. The song of their skates matched the eager beat of her heart as the other voices vanished. Every inch of her being was focused on him...on them...on being together beneath the cool moonlight as they slid along the ice while their eyes were focused on each other.
When he stopped and drew her toward the shore, she wanted to protest. He shook his head, and she followed, waiting while he ladled out two servings of her hot chocolate for them. Then, holding her hand again, he led her up the hill through the trees to a spot where they could watch the rest of the skaters.
They sipped their hot chocolate in the same silence, not needing words. When she finished the last in her paper cup, he took it and put it inside his. He set them on the ground and looked at her.
She searched his shadowed face, knowing every inch of it from the hours they’d spent together in the bakery and so many of her dreams. She closed her eyes as his arm swept around her waist and he brought her to him as he bent to caress her lips. What she’d imagined about this moment was tepid compared to the thrill of his kiss.
Did the shivers racing along her belong to him or her? All she knew for sure was that they had nothing to do with the chilly night and everything to do with the delight tingling along her. She slid her hands up the strong muscles beneath his sleeves and curved her arms over his shoulders, surrendering to the kiss she hadn’t dared to believe would ever happen.
Too soon, he drew back.
Again Annie was going to protest, but she heard what he must have while she was lost in the moment.
“Hey, Caleb!” came a man’s shout from closer to the pond.
Caleb leaned his forehead against hers as he murmured, “That’s Lyndon. I should go and see what he wants.”
“You should.”
“Okay.” He didn’t move.
Neither did she, except to meet his mouth for another quick kiss before he picked up their discarded cups and walked awkwardly down the hill on his skates.
She remained behind, not wanting the perfection to end, wanting to keep it close so it didn’t ebb away like a dream in the light of dawn. As the cold sifted through her coat and nibbled at her toes, she stood still.
Annie wasn’t sure how long she remained on the hill, but her feet felt half-frozen as she lumbered down. Maybe it was time to get her skates off and put on her warm boots. A glance at the moon that was setting over the mountains to the west told her that the party had been going on for more than two hours.
A clump of shadows in front of her were, she discovered as she drew near, a group of men leaning on the trees and sipping her hot chocolate. She was about to announce herself when she caught Caleb’s voice.
“The plan is to have a full selection of drink choices.” He laughed, “Englischers are always talking about taking time to stop and smell the roses. Maybe we can convince them to stop and smell the kaffi and the hot chocolate and maybe freshly squeezed lemonade in the summer. I’ve been looking around to find some more small tables. If they’re set in one corner, we hope patrons will stay and have something to eat before they take more home with them.”
“That’s a gut idea.” Her brother slapped Caleb’s arm. “A really gut one. You’ve put a lot of thought into this.”
Another man spoke. An Englischer. “I can tell that you’ve done your market research, Caleb. We’ve needed a café and a bakery in Salem since the last one was turned into a diner a few years ago.” He paused, then said, “My wife will be your best customer, I’m sure, once she tastes this raspberry hot chocolate. She raves about the bread you sold last summer. That you’ll be serving hot drinks at a place where she can get together with her friends will make her really happy.”
“You’ll get a bunch of guys in there before evening chores, too,” said another Englischer. Chief Pulaski, Annie realized, as the fire chief continued, “I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve got so many good ideas. Your suggestion about having that Amish-style mud sale raised enough money to pay for a lot of training for our volunteers.”
“Danki.”
“Your bakery is sure to be a hit. When I was in to do the final inspection this morning, I couldn’t believe the transformation of that dusty old depot into a bright and cheery shop. How did you come up with the idea of splashing color on the floor? I thought you Amish liked things plain.”
She waited, holding her breath because she didn’t want to miss a single word. Now Caleb would say some of the ideas had been hers.
“We do.” He chuckled. “But when my cousin’s little boy spilled paint, it seemed like the obvious solution when it would have taken so long to clean up those old floorboards.”
“And that bright yellow wall in the kitchen?” Chief Pulaski chuckled. “I’d guess I won’t be the only husband in Salem who’ll be repainting a kitchen once your shop opens.”
“When customers come in, the color of that wall will catch their attention. That will draw their eyes right to the displays in the cases.”
Annie reeled a half step as she heard what she’d said, almost word for word, coming out of Caleb’s mouth. He was taking credit for her ideas as Rolan had after they’d broken up. How could she have been foolish enough to let this happen again? She’d thought Caleb cared about her, but had he cared only about the ideas she brought him for his bakery?
Stop it! she told herself. It shouldn’t matter who got credit for how the bakery had turned out. To expect to be acknowledged for her help was hochmut. She should be pleased that her hard work was paying off for Caleb.
But how could she when he’d taken her ideas for his own?
She should have been more careful. If she hadn’t let flattery from her grossmammi and from Caleb turn her head, she might have thought before she let each idea burst out of her. Instead, she’d freed each one as it popped into her mind, so glad to be able to express them.
And the worst part was that he didn’t seem to have any problem with taking credit for her ideas mere minutes after he’d wooed her lips with his. Rolan hadn’t tried to keep her off-kilter like that when he stole her ideas.
Bending over, Annie loosened the laces on her skates. She tramped through the snow to where she’d left her boots. She yanked off her skates and pulled on her boots. She looked around and saw Leanna and Becky Sue talking to Juanita and Kenny a short distance away.
“Let’s go,” Annie said as she approached them.
“But, Annie—”
She didn’t give Becky Sue a chance to finish. Linking her arm through the teenager’s, she marched toward the road that twisted through the hollow. A glance back told her that her siblings were hurrying to follow and that Caleb was striding in their direction.
Talking to him would be another mistake. If she did, she might say something she’d come to regret later.
She shot another look over her shoulder. Caleb had stopped, staring after them. Puzzlement was seared on his face.
He doesn’t realize what he’s done.
That thought should have been comforting.
It wasn’t.
Her pain was too deep, her betrayal too raw. She couldn’t think about the situation logically.
What a joke! Annie Wagler, the always-logical one, the twin who didn’t lead with her emotions but worked well with everyone, was the one who refused to listen to her own rational thoughts. Instead she was wallowing in pain, a pain so deep it hurt to breathe.
No one spoke on the short walk home. Her younger sister and brother glanced at her again and again, but apparently the set of her taut lips told them it’d be wise not to ask questions. They and Becky Sue hurried up to their rooms, and she could hear the soft buzz of their confused voices.
Leanna stayed in the kitchen and watched as Annie tried to find something to do to vent her frustration. After about fifteen minutes, she took Annie by the arm and steered her to the table.
“What’s going on?” Leanna asked.
“Caleb Hartz isn’t the man I thought he was.” The words sprang out of her like soda from a shaken bottle.
Her twin frowned and tapped her foot on the floor. “I’m not going to ask you what happened between you, but I can tell you that pouting about it and going around crashing into things and cutting short the kinder’s fun won’t change it.”
“I’m not doing anything different from what you’ve been doing.”
“Me?” Her twin looked shocked.
“Ja. You’ve been in mourning since Gabriel Miller got married.”
Leanna recoiled as if Annie had struck her. “I have not!”
“You don’t see it, but you’ve been acting as if you’re attending a wake for months and months. You used to laugh and sing and delight in making your quilts. I don’t think I’ve heard you sing, other than during services, in a year. Each time you pick up a needle, you act as if quilting is drudgery instead of the joy it used to be. You enjoy taking care of your goats, but you’ve handed the job to me a lot lately. It’s as if you’ve forgotten how to be happy.”
Her twin stared at Annie. More than once, she opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t break the silence that clamped around them.
Leanna threw her arms around Annie. “I’m sorry. I have been so focused on what I didn’t have that I’ve forgotten what I do have. I’ve been selfish and let you carry too much of the load of moving here and watching over the others. My sole excuse is that you do everything so well that I’ve been going along with whatever you say and do.”
“I don’t do everything well.” She’d made a mess of her relationship with Caleb.
She admitted to herself what scared her most: that, after tonight, they couldn’t even be friends any longer.