When I wrote What Kids Need Most in a Mom in 1986, the managing editor of Revell said, “This book is destined to become a classic.” I hoped she was right, and as it turned out she was. I loved writing this bestselling book for and about moms. It was and is the book of my heart. As a mother of teenagers, I wanted to share my successes, give encouragement, and reduce the guilt and fear so many mothers have. I also felt it important to share my experiences, difficulties, and failures with others.
I’m thrilled that the book has been updated and released a number of times over the years. The amazing thing is that it is as needed today as it was when I first wrote it. Children continue to present challenges and parents continue to face them. I love having written What Kids Need Most in a Mom because it has been a help to so many mothers who are experiencing frustration and guilt, and who at times are desperate for someone to understand and offer practical help.
One such mother, whom I’d never met, called me one evening at the end of her rope. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m desperate and don’t see how I can go on anymore. I didn’t know who else to call. You see, I’ve been reading your book and I just knew you’d understand.”
She went on to tell me the problems she was encountering in trying to rear four children plus go to school and work. I listened with an empathetic ear and was able to give her reassurance and support. Before she hung up, she thanked me. Had I changed anything for her? Her problems remained much as they had been when she’d first called, but she could now go back to them with renewed strength, knowing she was not alone.
Another mom, whom I met while speaking at a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) gathering, told me she’d read my book during one of the lowest moments of her life. “I was sick and tired of parenting books that made me feel guilty,” she said. “A friend of mine gave me your book and told me to give it a try. I said I would, but warned her that if it didn’t help I was throwing it in the ocean.” She grinned. “It was great and you didn’t make me feel guilty. I recommend it to moms all the time.”
I certainly was not the perfect mom, and there are a number of things I would do differently if given the chance. Some years ago I confessed some of my shortcomings to my daughter Caryl. She chuckled and said, “You couldn’t have been all that bad of a mom. Look how great I turned out.”
I was and am a good mom—for the most part. This I learned while getting my master’s degree in counseling and while seeing my children interact with other children. Over the years, I’ve experienced the joys and heartaches of seeing my children and grandchildren grow into mature adults—wondering at times if they ever would.
I’ve been a mom for 44 years now. My children, David and Caryl, whom you’ll get to know quite well in this book, are grown with children of their own. This year, my darling daughter became a grandmother. Which, of course, makes me a great-grandmother. Madelyn Marie is the light of our lives. I’m so happy that at 63, I am young enough to thoroughly enjoy her. My husband Ron and I have seven grandchildren, all of whom we adore. Let me tell you, of all the things I have done well in my life, having grandchildren tops the list. They are wonderful. Being grandparents is God’s way of giving us another chance to enjoy and appreciate children—while their parents do the hard work of rearing them.
As I write this I am in Grand Forks, North Dakota, staying with my daughter and her family. (By the way, this is one thing I would do differently: I would brainwash my children to live closer to me and not halfway across the country.) In a few days, my oldest granddaughter will be getting married and I am so excited that I can be here. Yes, she is Madelyn’s mother and I’m thrilled to be able to pass along occasional words of wisdom. Sometimes she even listens. I’d like to protect her from the struggles parents go through.
What Kids Need Most in a Mom is a book that not only offers practical help and advice, it also offers hope and encouragement. In the end, you will not be perfect. Despite what Mother’s Day cards tell us, mothers seldom are. However, I believe you will come out stronger and more self assured, and determined to be the best mom you can be.
Harriet Beecher Stowe said, “I long to put the experience of fifty years at once into your young lives, to give you at once the key of that treasure chamber, every gem of which has cost me tears and struggles and prayers, but you must work for these inward treasures yourselves.”
My prayer is What Kids Need Most in a Mom will help you to be the mom your kids need, and will help you enjoy the journey.
Blessings,
Patricia H. Rushford