It’s okay. No explanation needed.
Geneva replied to Joshua’s text. What else could she say? That her heart would ache at the letdown? That the tears would run from her cheeks to her pillow all night, possibly for a lifetime? That she felt like screaming and crying at the same time? That her heart could burst from the change of plans? Geneva couldn’t tell Joshua that. So she gave the necessary, polite response.
She answered how one would respond to a casual friend. That’s how she should regard Joshua. But she had fallen in love with him.
Geneva gritted her teeth. “Stupid, stupid thing to do.” She wished she had known before sending her text about the itinerary. That she had planned excursions for couples added to her humiliation.
Her lower lip trembled. She squeezed her eyes shut, but the tears found an escape route. They slid into her ear and to the base of her neck before she buried her face in her hands and cried.
“He must have a good reason,” she told herself as she wiped the evidence of her disappointment away with the back of her hand. “Joshua wouldn’t cancel without a good cause.” She drew several deep breaths. “This isn’t Josh on repeat. I’ve got to stay calm.”
The doorbell rang.
Geneva looked through the peephole to see Joshua standing there. Her heart skipped at the sight of him. She opened the door.
“I need to explain,” Joshua said. Then his eyes widened. He stroked her cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” His voice held tenderness and remorse.
Geneva wrapped her arms about her waist and stepped aside to let him in.
“I told my record company I wasn’t going to renew my contract.”
Her mouth popped open. “Wow. How did that go?”
He rubbed his head. “Not well. Brandon scheduled performances for me from tomorrow through New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas. I’m obligated until New Year’s Day. Then, I’ll be free.”
He clasped his hands together. “This has been the best couple of weeks I’ve ever had.” He looked away for a second. “This might seem strange, but I was lonely before you. I have what many desire – fame and wealth. There are times when at least twenty people are around me, but I still feel alone. Then your face reached out to me, and I didn’t know it at the time, but I feel it now. You’re who I yearned for. When I’m with you I feel… complete. You have to believe that when I’m performing in Vegas, I’ll be thinking of you.”
Geneva went to sit next to him, “I saw it. The loneliness. That’s what drew me to say yes to your request. I realized you needed a friend.” She smiled. “But I wasn’t the friend you needed. You needed the Friend above all friends. You needed God. I’ve never met anyone so hungry for the Word, the way you are.” She patted his hand. “Maybe that’s my true purpose in your life. A fleeting encounter that would lead you to God.”
He touched her chin and moved closer into her space. Her body warmed up. “You think that’s all this is between us?” His finger touched her lips, his eyes darkening. “I know why you’re saying that. You’re afraid.”
Joshua moved his hand to the back of her head and held it place. She gasped as the heat began to build. Her heart raced.
“Right now you’re in self-defense mode. You’re trying to preserve your heart from pain.” He inched closer until his mouth was on hers, and her mouth opened slightly. “But if you hold back because you’re scared, you might miss out on life.” His spoke into her mouth and Geneva trembled. “You might lose out on true love.” The sound waves of his bass voice hit the back of her throat and she groaned.
Joshua released her. “Now go ahead and tell me this is just about God. I know you feel a connection.”
Geneva fiddled with her hair. “I do. But maybe I’m confusing a connection for l—something more. Passion can be deceiving.” She thought of her mother. “Passion can kill you.”
He snatched her closer to him than before. Now their bodies touched. She felt the rhythm of his chest moving against hers, appreciating its strength and breadth.
“Breathe with me,” he said.
Geneva tried to pull away, but his grip was firm.
“When something is right, time or words aren’t necessary. Close your eyes and breathe with me.”
Geneva obeyed. Their bodies dipped and rose in synchrony. She allowed herself to follow the tempo he set. He sped up his breathing, and she kept pace. He slowed and she followed. A warm sensation flowed from her toes to her head. This had to be the most erotic experience of her life. Her body burned. She licked her lips, needing to make further contact.
Joshua took one of her hands and placed it on his chest. Then he placed a hand over hers. “Look at me,” he commanded.
Her eyes fluttered open. Geneva gasped. Raw need shone through his eyes.
“I need God and I need you,” he growled. “I will have both.”
Joshua crushed his lips to hers. Once her mouth opened, Joshua took advantage and plundered her lips, his hand still pressed to her chest. She moved her hands to massage his head.
He kissed her long and hard.
Sensations spiraled within her. Her control edged to the breaking point and she tried to end the kiss, but the onslaught continued. Oh goodness, he wasn’t letting up. He wasn’t giving her time to think.
Joshua ran his hands against her cheek and her collarbone. Anywhere he made contact, she sprang to life.
Still their bodies moved as one. Oh, Geneva wanted to… She squeezed her legs to contain the heat.
He tore his lips away, but there was no relief as his mouth moved to her ear. “I could kiss you like this forever,” Joshua mumbled. His voice against her ear made her insides tremble. He moved on, discovering her neck.
“Your skin is so soft,” Joshua whispered.
Geneva swallowed. She felt as if she was on fire. Joshua kissed her from one side of her collarbone to the other. Her body arched to give him access.
“Joshua…” she moaned. Still their bodies moved together. Her heart hammered in her chest. “Oh, I can’t take it.”
Joshua pulled away, keeping their hands joined. She could feel the heat of his body under her fingertips. Eyes darkened to the color of onyx roamed her body with appreciation.
Geneva touched her lips with her free hand. “I’ve never been kissed like that.”
He touched her chin. “All that passion, brimming, waiting for release…” Joshua licked his lips. “Mmm…mmm.”
Geneva sighed. If he kept up that talk… She claimed her hand and covered her ears. “You’ve got to stop talking dirty. It’s making my feelings rise up.”
He smiled. “It’s what I do, baby.”
Geneva lowered her head. Was she being sweet-talked by JJ-LUV? Her brows knitted. Is this how he kissed and spoke to the other women?
“Geneva, look at me.”
She forced herself to face Joshua.
“This feeling is for you. Alone. “The sincerity in his eyes assured her. “The passion between us is real and unique. It burns and will only grow for us. When your volcano erupts for me, I’ll be the one to drink your hot lava.”
Her mouth dropped open. “You can’t speak like that to me.”
“Why not? We’re grown. Saved and grown.”
She frowned. When did he get saved? Her baby needed teaching. Good thing she was well versed in the Word.
He lifted a brow. “Or don’t you read Song of Solomon?”
“Sometimes.” Geneva knew it was a love song between God and His people. However, the visual images evoked by the Scripture made her blush at times.
“It’s hard to miss the tension in that read,” Joshua said. “It’s a good combination of the spiritual and physical. Like we will be.”
He sounded so certain that Geneva could only nod. Joshua’s eyes captivated her. Geneva had never been so aware of herself as a woman. She felt desired and… powerful.
“I’ll miss you,” she said. The admission poured from her heart.
“I’m already missing you,” Joshua said.
Geneva shook her head to clear the sensual haze. She needed to change the conversation. “Earlier you said something about being saved. What made you say that?”
Joshua squinted. “The Bible says if you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, you will be saved. And I believe, so…”
She gave him an encouraging smile. “That’s true. But the Bible also says, the devils believe and tremble. And we know there is no hope for the devil. His fate has already been declared from the beginning.”
Joshua rubbed the bridge of his nose. “That sounds like a contradiction.”
“There’s no contradiction, but a lack of understanding,” Geneva explained. “Read the book of James. He tells us faith is an action word. You have to show your belief by your works.”
“I don’t get it. Salvation is free.”
“Yes, accepting the gift of salvation has to be free. However, if you love God, you’ve got to stand for Him.” She scrunched her nose, thought for a second, then snapped her fingers. “Let’s say a woman told you she loved you, but she didn’t do anything for you, and you got sick but all she said was she loved you.” She leaned forward. “Imagine. You fell and injured yourself, but all she said was she loved you. Would you believe her?”
“Heck, no. She’s got to show me.” Joshua’s eyes flashed. “Oh, I get it.” His shoulders slumped. “I can’t say I want God in my life and then do the opposite. Is that what you’re saying?”
Geneva nodded. “You’ve got to show Him you love Him. God is very jealous. He wants all of you.”
Joshua scooted closer to her. “I want all of you.”
She fanned herself. “You sure know how to twist my words.”
He hugged her briefly. “I get it. I get what you’re trying to show me. But if I don’t do the shows, I’ll be breaching my contract. It could cost me millions. It’s easier if I just get through the performances and be done with it after that.”
“I can’t tell you what to do,” Geneva said, pulling away. “But when you’ve found a treasure, you have to give up all that you have.”
“I worked hard to get here. I can’t give it up with a snap of my fingers. Why can’t I have God and fame?” His eyes pleaded with her for understanding.
Geneva placed a finger over his lips. “I’m not saying you can’t have both. It’s all about priorities. You can’t put fame over your faith.” Then she whispered, “Or a female.”
Joshua opened his mouth, but Geneva shushed his next words, meshing her lips with his. She poured her heart into the kiss, knowing she couldn’t utter how she truly felt.
After she kissed him, Geneva sent Joshua on his way. She knew Joshua wanted her in his life, but she couldn’t have Joshua if God wasn’t in his life first. Geneva watched his sexy strut as he walked away and hugged her midriff. Each step took him further away from her.
At the end of the hall, Joshua turned. “Come with me,” he said with a hand outstretched.
Her heart shouted yes, but Geneva shook her head. “I don’t belong in your world.”
His hand lowered. “And I can’t be in yours right now.”
Geneva blinked back tears, wondering if she would ever see him again.