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I GREETED MR. VITALI, interrupting his TV trance.
“Ah, Joy. It is good to see you again.” He set his beer bottle on a coaster beside him and stood to shake my hand.
“You too.”
I tried not to stare at the dark, fluffy chest hair sticking out from the top of his mostly-unbuttoned, lime green shirt, but the hair was long enough to braid. I had to erase the image of Mr. Vitali’s corn-rowed chest hair from my weird and twisted brain.
“Are you not feeling well?” He adjusted his glasses to get a better look at me.
“Yeah. I...uh...what’s she doing?” I asked, pointing at the TV screen to direct his attention away from me.
A young woman in a silver-sequined bra reached inside a clear plastic box filled with live, furry spiders. Her hand trembled more and more, the closer she got.
“It is an Italian game show. They do crazy things to win money and prizes,” he explained with a shrug.
The determination mixed with terror on her face as she maneuvered around the creepy crawlers to get the diamond bracelets scattered around them had me completely mesmerized until Giovanni ushered me upstairs to his room. I went reluctantly.
He enclosed us inside.
“I think I should go.”
He backed me up to the door. I reached for the knob as he closed the distance between us.
Seizing my bag from me, Giovanni lowered it to the floor by our feet and encircled my waist.
“I want you to stay,” he whined, melting his body with mine.
“I don’t want your dad getting the wrong idea about me.” I pushed him away gently. “We never hang out here. Plus, I don’t think he’s really in the mood for company.”
I turned to leave and came face-to-face with my reflection in the mirror behind the door. Seriously? This dude really let me walk around like lookin’ like a troll doll. I frowned at my huge, frizzy hair.
“You are my guest. Please stay a little longer.” He watched me flip my hair to style it in a high bun.
I sighed and peered into his eyes. “Why don’t you come over to Selena’s for once? It’s my turn to make dinner tonight anyway.”
He beamed excitedly and nodded.
“I wanna shower and redo my hair before Mom or Selena notice. Meet me at Selena’s in thirty minutes, okay?”
“Joy, before you go, can I kiss you?”
I nodded timidly, craving it just as much. Leaning down to reach me, his lips made their soft landing on mine. He hugged my body firmly and kissed me in increments. Butterflies sambaed in my belly and floated to my brain until I got a little lightheaded. Without warning, his tongue crashed the party. I tore myself away from him and covered the bottom half of my face to conceal the sudden fit of giggles taking over me.
Grasping my hand, his lips curved into a nervous smile as he pulled me against him to pick up where he’d left off. But I was too hopeless to continue. The slimy wetness of how our kiss ended was all I could think of.
Clearly, watching French kissing in movies had not prepared me enough for what it would feel like.
“I’m sorry I’m such a dork. I–I can’t right now,” I said between my laughing fit. “I’m sorry. Obviously, I have no idea what I’m doing, and I wasn’t expecting the, uh, ya know...”
He smirked. “We can try again.”
I scrunched up my face. “Ya know. I think I’m just gonna jump in the shower now...” My eyes widened. “At Selena’s, not here. So, I’ll see ya there...At her apartment,” I added to clear up any confusion. “Give me half an hour, okay?”
He nodded thoughtfully and released a heavy sigh.
SELENA KEPT A SUSPICIOUS eye on us as I showed Giovanni the goofy pictures around the living room of her and my family from years ago. Giovanni could barely tear his eyes off me long enough to appreciate their hilarity. And his attentiveness did not go unnoticed by Selena. She put the kettle on the stove and called me over.
“Giovanni, you can watch TV if you want,” she suggested, to keep him occupied.
“Why do y’all seem so different?” Selena whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“You suck at keeping secrets!” She narrowed her eyes at me.
“What secrets?” I said loud enough for him to hear.
Her all-knowing grin made me sweat a little. With a hand on her hip, Selena glared at Giovanni, who, feeling the weight of her stare, looked up from the remote in his hands like he was guilty of a crime.
“She wants you to tell her our secret,” I told him, rolling my eyes.
“Which one? That Joy likes me.” His grin widened at seeing the shock on my face.
“I knew it! And you like her too?” Selena asked.
“Yes. For two years.” His adoring smile eclipsed his face.
“I knew it!” she said with a grin to match his.
“You’ve known for two years?” I asked.
“No, just since the other day. I knew you wouldn’t stay friends for long. Aww! Little Freckles has a boyfriend. Wait till your mom finds out!”
The warmth drained from my face. “Can’t we keep it between us?”
Wagging her head at me, she said, “She’s your momma. With one look at you two, she’ll know. Trust me.”
Know what? That we’d been on one date?
Staring at Giovanni, it occurred to me that we hadn’t discussed what we were.
I brought him outside the apartment by the elevator to keep Selena from eavesdropping on us.
Before I could get a word out, he kissed my cheek. “Why you are embarrassed for Selena to know about us?”
“She loves to embarrass me. And I don’t know what we are. I know we agreed to pretend to be together for school, but I’m not sure I’m ready to be anybody’s girlfriend. I like you...more than I wanted you or anyone to know, but everything’s happened so fast, and I’m horrible with change. Will you give me more time to figure it out?”
He nodded slowly and swallowed. His eyes filled with sorrow at my uncertainty. “Joy, can I still kiss you?”
I nodded with a smile. “With just the lips this time.”
The elevator dinged behind him, interrupting us before we could get started. Taking his hand, I raced back to Selena’s, hoping with all my might the passenger getting off was not my mother.
Selena gave me a funny look when we entered the apartment again.
“Joy.” She nodded me over to her in the kitchen.
Giovanni reclaimed his former place on the couch.
As soon as we were out of hearing range from him and music from a commercial filled the room, she relayed her concerns.
“Last night, you really hurt your mom to prove you two weren’t more than friends. We both believed you, and now this?”
“This all happened today. He–He likes me.”
“Do you like him?”
“I do, and I love being with him, but I told him I need some time to figure things out.”
Selena glanced across the room at Giovanni and filled a teacup with boiling water.
“Well, I’m glad you’re not rushing things, but it’s gonna make dinner a little awkward with your crazy momma. You better go warn her right now about him being here. You know how much she loves embarrassing you.”
“Unlike you, right,” I said. She smirked. “Please don’t make me,” I whined. “I don’t wanna tell her.”
“After last night, I think she deserves to hear something.” Selena turned her attention to Giovanni while he flipped through the channels. “I said it before, and I’ll say it again: he looks like a heartbreaker.”
“He’s not,” I insisted.
Giving me a cautionary look, she said, “You don’t know what he is. It takes time for them to show their true colors. Trust me. They all seem like good guys in the beginning. I don’t want you gettin’ hurt, so tread carefully, alright? What’s his reputation in school?”
I folded my arms, not liking the accusatory turn her line of questioning had taken.
“He doesn’t have one. He’s shy and quiet until you get to know him. But he’s goofy and super nice. Maybe too nice.”
Selena pulled a face and retrieved a frying pan from under the sink. “So, he’s a weirdo like you. What are the chances, huh?” she whispered.
“Shut up!”
“What? All that matters is you found each other, right? On second thought, you’re not that nice. So, how’d you get a nice guy when you’re such a brat?”
“If I’m a brat, it’s not my fault.”
Selena rolled her eyes and smirked. “Give Giovanni this tea and go call your mommy. In the meantime, I’ll get dinner started...since you straightened up the place.”
She cackled at the look of dread on my face.
“HEY, JUBILEE. WHAT’S up?”
I didn’t expect Mom to answer the call in such a freakishly good mood. My hand shook the phone against my ear, knowing her pleasantness wouldn’t last long.
“Hey. I, uh, have to tell you something.”
The line went silent, except for the screeching brakes of a train in the background.
“Mom?”
“I’m listening,” she muttered.
“It’s about Giovanni. He...well...we’re together. And he’s here for dinner.”
Strangely enough, as soon as the words left my mouth, the butterflies spiraled in my stomach and up to my heart. The long pause on the other line trampled their enthusiasm.
“I knew this would happen,” she said. “I knew he’d distract you.”
“Wait. What? What do you mean distract me?”
“Your dad is still out there. Did you forget? You’ve got too much to worry about as it is.”
“I’m tired of worrying all the time. Why can’t I have something to look forward to for once?”
“You met this kid last week! You don’t know him.”
“Actually, I met Giovanni two years ago. And you met Dad at a bus stop a day before you went out with him. You act like he’s tryna marry me already. We’re still figuring each other out.”
“You’re too young,” she shouted. “I should’ve put a stop to this before it started. Spending all that time together...You’re not eleven anymore, and he is no Elijah! It’s all about one thing for these guys out here. It’s your happiness today and tears tomorrow. You’ll see!”
It disheartened me to listen to her drone on. But that was her goal. Of course, I knew the pickings were slim. Selena’s history of horrible relationships was real proof of that. Still, how could she project every negative trait of Selena’s exes onto Giovanni? How could she know for sure that my first and only relationship would end like every one of hers?
Once I thought she had run out of things to say, her rant altered into an attack on all males over the age of eleven with Giovanni as their skirt-chasing champion.
“You’re just a pretty face to him.”
“So, you’re saying no one would be interested in me as a human being. Is that it?”
“No! It has nothing to do with interest. They’re all the same at the beginning. He’ll sweet-talk you and tell you how special and beautiful you are. Next thing you know, he’ll be all over you, pressuring you into all sorts of things you’re not ready for. Don’t let that boy control you! You have a mind of your own. You hear me?”
I sighed into the phone.
“You’d better answer me, little girl!”
“I hear you.” I flopped back onto the bed.
If I was sick of listening to her, I knew everyone with her on the train platform was too.
“I know you call Giovanni a boy, but he’s not that far from a man. We’ll talk some more when I get there. I’ll see ya in a minute.”
I dropped my phone onto the bed and felt a new weight on my shoulders, a load too awkward to carry.
MOM STEPPED THROUGH the door while Selena heaped a generous serving of her amazing Puerto Rican style Spanish rice—saffron rice with pigeon peas or gandules—alongside a cut of marinated pork tenderloin and a side plate of sweet fried plantains—for Giovanni. I watched Mom apprehensively, praying she’d keep every one of her wild assumptions about him to herself.
“Hi, Giovanni, it’s nice to see you again.” She shot me a not-so-subtle glare. “You can call me Faith, in case you forgot.”
“It is nice to see you again too. Thank you for permitting me to stay for dinner.”
His nerves made his accent sound thicker than usual. Selena smiled at me after hearing him, and even Mom’s demeanor relaxed slightly.
Giovanni’s enthusiasm reminded me of myself the first time I dined at his place. If only the poor guy could eat in peace. My mom took it upon herself to interrogate him mercilessly about his grades, career plans, and family.
There was no telling how much more agonizing it would’ve been if Selena had not been there with us, offering swift interjections of humor and side conversations throughout dinner.
“You like my cookin’, huh,” Selena teased Giovanni as she dished out another plateful of food.
“It is delicious.”
“I know.” Selena buffed her nails on her shirt. “Wait till you try Joy’s. I taught her everything she knows. Go on. Tell ‘em, Freckles.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Selena taught me a few recipes.”
“We’ll fatten you up in no time,” Selena promised.
Giovanni’s eyes widened with fear. “I used to be fat when I was a little boy. I like to be skinny now.”
I giggled at the thought. So, that was why he hid those pictures from me at his house.
I allowed my eyes the pleasure of drinking him in, sensing Selena and Mom exchanging glances whenever Giovanni paused to stare at me and smile.
In those precious little moments, it wasn’t hard at all to envision what our friendship could become.
To be wanted and liked was thrilling, inspiring, and perhaps most dangerous of all, addicting.
WE STROLLED SIDE-BY-side down the corridor.
“I don’t want you to go,” I said.
“I know. I wish you could come with me.”
My memory of our last kiss made me break out into laughter. “I’m sorry. I was thinking about...oh, never mind.”
Judging by the smile reaching his eyes, he remembered as well.
“I told my mom we’re dating, so...if you still like me and all and you wanna be more than friends...and not just to keep the girls off your back...”
He inhaled sharply but said nothing initially.
The elevator doors parted.
“I’ll see ya—”
He yanked me inside with him before I could finish my sentence.
“I’ve gotta go. I told my mom I would just‒”
He smothered my lips in kisses. Mom’s warning chimed in my head. Don’t let him control you.
But with his arms around me, the lushness and warmth of his lips on my skin, even the subtle scratch from his five o’clock shadow against my face, new feelings surged through me, and I loved it.
“Giovanni, I’ve gotta go,” I mumbled.
Luring me in with gentle kisses to my neck and ear, he said, “I do not want you to.” His words vibrated on my ear, sending a chill through me.
I squeezed him tightly and listened to the rapid beat of his heart, any residual doubts I’d harbored about his true feelings toward me laid to rest in an instant.
He indulged my lips again.
“Giovanni, maybe we should slow things down a little.” With a wide grin, I said, “You don’t have to get two years’ worth of kisses tonight. I need to catch my breath.”
“I could kiss your lips all day,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “Joy, do you really like me, or am I alone to feel this way?”
I studied his face once the elevator arrived in the lobby. “You’re not alone. But I still think you can do better than me.”
He wagged his head. “I don’t want anyone else but you.”
I smiled with my eyes closed. “It doesn’t feel real. I still can’t believe it.” I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Giovanni breathed in the scent of my hair.
Laughing at the euphoric look on his face, I said, “You’re so weird...I don’t want you to go yet, but I gotta get back. I’ll see ya tomorrow, bella.”
He smirked and invaded my hair with both hands. “Bella is for girls and women,” he corrected. “You want to call me bello, no?”
My reply was cut short by a round, old man darkening the entrance of the elevator.
“What’re you kids doin’ in here?” he snarled, stumbling inside.
Without a moment’s hesitation, Giovanni pulled me out after himself, for which I was grateful. Who would want to be trapped in an elevator with that grumpy old man anyway? He reeked of cigars and alcohol.
Jumping into Giovanni’s arms, I devoured his lips until the elevator completed its route to pick me up.
I watched him back out of the lobby doors smiling lazily at me. With my chest so full of bliss, I could’ve floated like a balloon back to the fourth floor. But Selena’s earlier accusation about him slowly deflated my optimism.
MOM AND SELENA TURNED grim as I entered.
“Is everything alright?” Mom inquired, sitting forward in her seat.
“No. Do you two see something in Giovanni that I don’t?”
They considered how to proceed tactfully in stark silence, their sights trained on one another to answer first.
“I want your honesty. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings.”
“Giovanni seems like a good guy,” Selena spoke up. “But most guys that hot know exactly how good they look. And they don’t usually stick with only one girl. They go after every pretty girl they see. I hope you never have to go through that with him, but I’ve seen it so many times.”
“You’re basing that all off how he looks. That’s not fair!” I argued, collapsing into a chair across from her. “He said he’s crazy about me. I can feel it in the way he looks at me and...”
I closed my mouth, safeguarding our sweet moment in the elevator and all of the other romantic highlights from our day, and shyly met Selena’s eyes.
“What does love feel like?” I asked, hoping not to sound so dreamy and swept off my feet for my mom’s benefit.
Regardless of Mom’s intense resentment toward my change in circumstance, I still valued her input.
I found a measure of comfort in Selena’s reassuring smile. My mom, on the other hand, chewed on the inside of her cheek in a fretful state, her eyes watching me like she had no clue what species I belonged to anymore, undoing my nerves all over again.
“I already told ya, I don’t want you dating him or anyone else, so the kissing stuff needs to stop!” she retorted. “And you’re not in love, by the way.” The disgust in her tone plunged my heart into my stomach.
“I never said I was in love! Why can’t I have a normal conversation with you without you barking at me all the time?”
She aimed her pointer finger at me. “You tell me tonight that this stranger is your boyfriend after knowing him a week, and now you’re asking questions about love? How did you expect me to react?”
“This is how you react with everything. It’s fine. I’ll figure it out by myself.”
I hopped off my seat. Mom shoved me back into it before I got my footing. “Let’s get something straight, little girl. You do not speak to your mother like that!”
“You want everything you never give to me. You want respect and to be heard and taken seriously, but you never treat me like that. Just because I’m younger and I’m your daughter doesn’t mean I don’t deserve those things too. What? You don’t like it tonight? Well, too bad! I’ve been stuck with your bad attitude and your hatefulness my whole life! And I’m done with it and you and your bitterness. I’m done!”
I pushed her out of my way and started to my room.
“Get back here!”
She grabbed my arm once I got to the door. Selena stepped in.
“Fai, let her go.” Mom ignored her. “Joy, how do you get out of your mom’s hold?” Selena asked me, letting my mom know that if I took her down, it would be self-defense.
“You’re acting like Dad,” I said. “You want me to treat you like him?”
Mom shoved me into the wall, her nostrils flaring.
“Careful Faith,” I taunted. “Your feelings are showing. Why don’t you suck it up like you tell me all the time?”
“Joy, cut it out,” Selena said. “Fai, go take a walk and cool down before you do something you regret.”
Selena took Mom by the elbow and walked her to the kitchen. “Drink some of this and go walk around the block,” she said, readying a wine glass for her.
I went into my room and shut the door. Putting a classical piano song on blast, I counted my money—three hundred and ninety dollars in cash and seventy dollars in coins. After Storm’s memorial and my date with Giovanni, my funds were much lower than I expected. It was nowhere near enough for more than one night somewhere else, although I would have stayed in an alley if it meant I could get away from my mom.
A knock sounded at the door as I dumped my clean clothes onto the bed to sort what to take.
“It’s me,” Selena said. “Can I come in?”
I hurried over and cracked the door.
“What are you doin’?” she asked, looking over my shoulder at the mound of clothes behind me.
“I can’t stay here anymore.” I returned to the bed to finish my task and lowered the volume on Chopin’s nocturne.
“What if I want you to stay?”
I folded a pair of jeans and set them aside.
“I would stay in a heartbeat if it could just be you and me.” I sighed. “You should’ve heard her on the phone before she got here...tellin’ me not to let him control or pressure me...tellin’ me I need to use my head. But when it’s her trying to control me, I’m supposed to roll over and do everything she says? I’ve held my anger in for as long as I can, but I’m not playing games with her no more.”
“You ain’t gotta explain yourself to me. I know. She don’t listen to me either. You gonna go stay at Giovanni’s?”
“I didn’t ask. I’d even consider goin’ back to The Glen if I knew she wouldn’t go there looking for me.”
“Don’t do that!” Selena chewed her bottom lip. “I can call Lucy and see if she can put you up for the night. Now that you and Giovanni are...together, I don’t like the idea of you spendin’ the night over there. I don’t want you feelin’ like he’s the answer to all your problems. Running away ain’t the answer either.”
“I’m not running away. I’m taking a break from her. A real vacation is what I need.”
Mom appeared in the doorway. “What’re you doing?” she interrogated me.
I glanced at Selena.
“Joy wants to spend the night at Lucy’s...to give you two a break from each other.”
“She’s not goin’.” Mom crossed her arms, waiting for me to challenge her.
With a forced smile, I looked away from her and tossed a pair of socks to one end of the bed.
“Fai, why don’t you pour yourself another glass of wine?” Selena suggested.
Once Mom was out of sight, Selena pleaded with me in a whisper. “This is gonna get ugly. Either sneak out after she goes to bed or stay here. Wine makes her sleepy anyway.”
I nodded and folded a stack of shirts before Mom returned.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere,” Mom reiterated, her eyes red and glossy.
“I heard you already.”
To annoy her, I brought up the topic of love again. “Ya know, he told me he loves me.”
She gulped down her wine and nearly choked on it.
“I bet we’ll get married before the new school year starts. You will give me away, won’t you?” I asked, batting my eyelashes at her. “Or I could ask Cousin Andy instead.”
Her amber eyes glowed with fury.
“I’m kidding! I don’t think that wine is helping you at all.” I rolled my eyes. “Do you even remember what love feels like, or has your black heart withered away already?”
“Joy!” Selena shouted at me.
I didn’t really mean to say it. It just came out.
“You wanna leave and do what you want? Go. I won’t stop you. Your ungrateful, disrespectful butt needs to learn some life lessons. Don’t come crying to me or anyone when you end up pregnant and homeless on the streets and your little boyfriend ain’t nowhere to be found. That’s where your ignorance will take you!”
“Fai!” Selena shouted at her.
“No. It’s okay,” I said. “She proves what I told her before on the phone. She can’t stand for anyone around her to be happy. You can’t give me what you ain’t got. I get that now. Good night, Mom.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” She toppled a folded stack of clothes onto the floor and settled onto my bed with tightly crossed arms. “And neither are you.”
“Let me get you some more wine,” Selena offered.
“No! I’ve had enough,” Mom said slowly. “You wanna know about love, I’ll tell you about love.” She fisted the blanket by her knees as she collected her thoughts. “It’s...terrifying...‘cause you’ve got no control over it or who you fall for. And it never goes away, especially when you wish it would, to make your life a little easier.” Mom’s chin trembled.
I put the shirt I was gonna fold back into the pile to give her my undivided attention.
“How do you know when it happens, then?”
“You just do. Whether he makes you mad or irritates you...When you stop seeing him as perfect and start seeing him as he is...When he makes everything you do worth it, and your heart aches at the thought of living without him...” Mom fought to contain her tears while she spoke. “That’s how you know it’s real. And what Selena said earlier does happen by the way. He might think you’re pretty and sweet, but that doesn’t mean he cares about you the way you think you care about him.”
“I know we haven’t known each other super long, but I–I don’t know how to describe it.”
She shook her head vehemently. “It’s hormones! You’re only seventeen. You’re too young, both of you, to understand or even think about love. Kissing and that other stuff only adds to it.”
Mom cast her eyes from me, striving to regain her calm. Knowing Giovanni had stirred something in me and there was no undoing it, enraged her in a way I’d never seen before.
“You don’t need anyone to make you happy, especially not some boy you barely know.”
Because she was such an expert on happiness and love! I should’ve read between the lines when I first told her about Giovanni joining us for dinner.
Mom stormed into the kitchen in search of more liquid relief for her nerves. In time, she rushed into the room again, I thought to hit me, but she stopped a few inches away. She tossed back the wine and lowered the empty glass from her lips, showing off her new wine mustache.
“You’re all I’ve got, Jubilee, and I don’t wanna see you change into someone you’re not because of him.” tears swelled in her eyes. “You think I don’t see how you two look at each other? I’ve seen it every day since last week, and it scares the mess outta me.”
Frustrated tears distorted the sight of her. “I never expected things to turn out like this. I mean, yeah, he’s...he’s gorgeous, but he’s also funny and sweet, and he’s real.” Using the back of my arm, I wiped my cheeks dry. “All I wanted was to be his friend, but you and Selena thought it was so hilarious teasing me about him yesterday, and today everything...changed.”
Mom’s body stiffened. “Why are you in a relationship if you didn’t want to be in one?”
“Because I...no...he wanted it. I did too, but not this soon.” I began to sweat, thinking how stupid I was to reveal so much to her.
“Since when do you let other people make decisions for you? I did not raise you like that. I taught you to think for yourself.”
“Yes, you did.” A heavy tear slid down my cheek in one swift motion.
“Then, what were you thinking?” Her voice grew louder.
“I like him, and he’s the only friend I’ve got. He actually likes me. He doesn’t treat me like I’m weird like you do or try to shut me up because he doesn’t wanna hear about what I’m feeling.”
“Oh, please!” Mom said, rolling her eyes. “You let this boy pressure you into dating him, and you’re tryin’ to throw the blame on me? Tell me this. If he cared about your feelings so much, why couldn’t he wait until you were ready to date him? That’s what a kind and sweet boy would do. If he cared as much as you think he does, he would put your feelings ahead of his own. Always.”
“But he didn’t want me to do anything wrong. I care about him.”
“If you weren’t comfortable or ready to be in a relationship, you should’ve stood your ground. That’s what I taught you. You wanna let other people make decisions for you, then don’t expect them to save you from living with the consequences for the rest of your life! You hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Giovanni seems nice, but neither of us, you included, really knows him,” Selena chimed in.
“I know, but it feels like I do.” My voice reduced to almost a whisper in their presence.
“That’s how it always feels, but feelings without common sense will hurt you, in the end, every time. And you’re tryna tell me you’re ready to date. Little girl, you ain’t got a clue!”
Mom wandered into the kitchen for another drink. Given her anger, I figured I’d save my breath and put my precious energy into dissecting all she had told me.
I carried the burden of everything she’d misunderstood about my decision to be with Giovanni with me to bed. I hated how she talked at me, as if I blindly followed Giovanni around. Because without her or him telling me what to do, how could I ever make a basic decision for myself? Not once had she contemplated what I wanted, or needed, for that matter. Most of my life was real proof of that.
Yes, I had taken a risk on Giovanni, but could she be surprised? Did she want me to be alone forever like she was?
For the first time in a long time, I could say I was living up to my name. Regardless of the negativity Mom hurled my way, I resolved not to let it shade me.