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OVERGROWN IVY ENGULFED one side of the giant brick building. Patches of green grass sprang up from the yellowy-brown lawn, a complement to the last of the blooming cherry trees dressing the pathway to the abandoned factory.
Peace settled over me at the welcome sight of Dad’s old workplace. This was where I’d planned to run away with Storm the day she died.
I opened the squeaky door and stepped inside the musty, old building. It was prime real estate located on the riverfront. The giant windows framed unparalleled views of the city across the river in the distance, and it all belonged to me...sort of.
I scaled a flight of metal stairs and peered over the railing at the vacant level below. Faint outlines of the missing equipment and machinery stained the floor—the only reminder left of their existence. Dad forced me to come here with him late one night. He was high on a different drug. Using the roof as his pulpit, he spilled all of life’s biggest secrets, and ordered me repeatedly to fight sleep and pay close attention.
We’d made it to the door to leave when Dad’s mood took a violent turn. I could still see him screaming at the men who were working and destroying anything he could get his hands on. They tried to restrain him, and Dad fought them like his life depended on it. One of the men rushed me upstairs into the safety of the office, then left me alone to watch on a monitor. Five sets of hands caught Dad’s kicking legs and hurling fists and laid him on the concrete floor until the cops came.
Blowing out a breath, I swept my gaze around the dusty space and turned toward the office. The door hung crooked on its hinges, a sign of welcome to my eyes. Daylight beamed into the room from the floor to ceiling windows, solar-heating the space and giving a fiery golden glow to the lonely room.
I hurried toward the closet door in the heart of the office and pulled the knob, but it wouldn’t budge. It had been at least a year since my last visit here, after all. With a little more effort, it finally gave way. I traipsed up the spiral staircase case hidden inside and pushed open the heavy door at the top, using my bag as a door stopper.
If Mom and everyone else weren’t already worried about me, I would’ve set up camp for the night and spoiled myself with a break from reality.
I laid down on the black rubber roof with my arm under my head and stared at the orange and grapefruit-swirled sky, pondering the strangeness of life.
Why couldn’t every day be beautiful and inspiring? Why couldn’t I have everything I always wanted without the fear and expectation of losing it all in some tragic way?
Closing my eyes, I lived out the alternate reality that had been stolen from me—the life I was once so eager to escape, a life with my best friend at my side. But Sal’s haunting stare snatched that dream away in an instant. I opened my eyes to break the spell and glared at the sky through tears. Thanks to his revelations about Dad’s latest sins, my brain was stuck in a tailspin with a million new worries and questions.
Sitting up halfway, I blotted my eyes on the hem of my shirt. I could never have peace and enjoy it, not with Sal and his boss trying to drag me and Mom into Dad’s problems. But what had he gotten himself into? Was it drugs, or something worse? Was this the danger he’d tried to warn us about?
I hopped to my feet, grabbed my bag off the landing, and bolted through the building out the way I came. I had to see a man about a camera before I could demand the answers to my questions.
TWILIGHT HAD SET IN by the time I arrived at the spy shop. The place looked like the inside of a cell phone store with gadgets on display for testing and accessories on hooks along the walls. I told the owner what type of camera I needed. Once I’d paid for it, he helped me set up the tiny device and connect it to my phone.
Now I was ready. I recited the questions I had for Sal in my head and traipsed along the bustling streets of East New York to catch the train back to his place.
I knocked firmly on the black lacquered door and swatted at the bugs fluttering around the blinding sconce outside. Sal’s heavy footsteps drew closer. The dogs barked from within.
Opening the door to me, Sal frowned and bent his neck to clear the doorway. “What are you doin’ here?” he said. “I thought you went home a while ago.”
I swatted at the bugs again. “Is it drugs?”
His thick brows shaded his eyes. “Is what drugs?”
“What he stole? Is that why you need my help? To get your drugs back?”
Sal rolled his eyes. “No. It ain’t drugs.” Opening the door wider, he said, “Come in,” and flopped onto the black leather couch a few paces away.
I took a cautious step inside. The screen door hissed shut behind me, and the handle punched my lower back. I rubbed the sore place vigorously and breathed through the pain.
Muting the bloody MMA fight on the TV, he said, “Your dad worked as a courier for my boss, delivering packages.” Sal slid the remote along the edge of the wooden coffee table.
“What kind of packages?”
He shrugged and flapped his legs open and closed. “I can’t tell you.”
I glowered at him. “What does your boss have planned for us for not cooperating?”
Sal’s legs stilled. His lips parted to speak.
“Because we won’t go through with it,” I added. “To you, it’s a simple conversation, but for us, it’s...” My throat tightened too much for me to finish my sentence. “There’s a reason we haven’t seen him in four years. There are a million reasons, so you can tell your boss that. He’s not a part of our lives anymore.”
Sal rose from his cozy place on the couch. “Anything else you gotta say?”
“Yes.” I stepped closer. “I need money, so I’ll walk the dogs three times a week for an hour. I’ll be here tomorrow after school and the day after that. It’s $135 a week. That’s for three times a week. If you need me to come more often, it’ll be thirty dollars extra each time. I’ll bring the contracts tomorrow if you and your brother agree to it.”
Sal harrumphed and strutted through the dining room. “You hungry?” His deep voice echoed in the sparsely decorated room.
My stomach answered with an emphatic yes. Thankfully, his ears were out of hearing range in the kitchen. “No. I gotta get home.” I reached for the handle. Before I could push the screen door open, Sal returned with an aluminum takeout tray of chicken parmesan.
“You sure you don’t want none?”
The cheese was slightly browned and beautifully melted. I swallowed the saliva pooling in my mouth. “No thanks.”
“I always buy two. Come on. I know you ain’t had dinner yet.” He hovered over the container and inhaled the parmesan crusted chicken on a bed of saucy spaghetti. “Hmm. This is my favorite.” He smirked at my mouth hanging open and wandered into the dining room. “Pull up a seat,” he said, setting the takeout onto the long, black table and ducking into the kitchen again. Sal returned with a sealed foil tray, two two-liter bottles of soda, eating utensils, and superhero collectors’ cups. “You can have this one. It ain’t even opened.” He pointed to the second tray of food on the other end of the table.
My stomach roared again, and this time he heard it.
I inched my way toward the stairs. “Mind if I wash my hands?”
“The bathroom’s up there, first door on the left.”
I scampered to the second floor. The dogs sniffed at a door down the hall and whimpered to be freed. I resisted the urge to let them have full reign of Sal’s spacious house and enclosed myself inside of the bathroom.
I paced between the black subway-tiled shower and the door with Sal’s superhero-sized towel hanging on the back.
He said it had nothing to do with drugs, but why would he tell me if it did? What else would that package hold? What business was Sal’s boss running anyway?
The more I thought of the man, the more I wondered about Mr. Vitali’s friendship with him.
I stood on my tippy toes, straining every muscle to check my new button camera’s position in my shirt collar. The bottom edge of the mirror only allowed me a glimpse of the middle of my neck. I tested the feed on my phone instead. The video wasn’t the most amazing quality, but the sound came out clear.
“You can do this,” I said to myself. After taking a fortifying breath, I washed my hands and hurried down the hardwood stairs.
Sal’s attention diverted from the TV to me as I took off my hat and smoothed my ponytail.
Rising from the couch, he filled his chest with air and let it go. “Ready now?”
“You didn’t have to wait for me.”
Sal shrugged and settled onto the closest end seat at the tall dining room table. “Why’d you come back? I thought you were scared of me.”
I hesitated to correct him. He didn’t need to know how close I came to raging out on him after his proposition earlier. “‘Cause I needed answers.” I peeled the aluminum lid from the container. “Can I get a plate? This is way too much food for me.”
Sal smirked and chewed his first bite en route to the kitchen.
I transferred half the chicken and spaghetti to the plate he offered me.
“So, you know my dad pretty well?”
Sal shook his head. “I’ve met him twice.”
I prodded my food, waiting for him to continue. “How was he?”
Sal frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Is he still using?”
Leaning back against his seat, he chewed another bite and swallowed. “But then, I only saw him for a minute behind plexiglass. He wouldn’t talk to me.”
“You don’t know him, then.”
A siren screamed outside in the distance. The dogs howled in unison. Sal peered at the ceiling and smiled. “I love it when they do that.”
“Me too. Reminds me of my dog Storm. She was so cute. I used to howl with her.”
Sal reached for the Superman cup and knocked it over. Picking it up, he slammed the cup onto the table, matching the fighting Superman’s glare depicted on the side. “Want some Coke?”
I nodded slowly, trying to conceal the anxiety over his sudden outburst.
A desperate knock at the door startled him. He spilled soda down the side of the red plastic cup and frantically used a paper towel to mop the fizzing puddle on the table.
“Stupid! Stupid!” he said to himself.
Another round of knocks made his eyes bulge in anger. “Who is it?” he growled and stomped his way to the door. Undoing the lock, he swung it open.
“Is she here?” Mrs. Vitali asked the furious giant.
Sal mumbled something of a reply and let her into the house.
“Gioia, I find you.” Rushing to my side, she threw her arms around me. “We look for you everywhere. Come. I take you home.”
I hugged her back. “Sorry I worried you. But I–I’m not ready to leave.” I walked her to the door and did my best to explain. “I have to finish talking to Sal about a few things.” I gave her a hug goodbye. “Thank you for the offer, though.”
“Gian needs you.” Her eyes pleaded with me.
Forcing a smile, I said, “I can’t leave yet, but I’ll call him when I get home.”
After giving me a long hug goodbye, she cursed Sal and left.
He stared at the back of the door dumbfounded. The dogs, at hearing the door open and shut, barked again.
I wandered back to my seat across from his and poured myself a cup of soda.
“What else did you wanna talk about?” he asked.
“Nothing, really. I just wanted to finish my food.”
His full lips curved into a contented smile.
“So, tell me about your boss.”
“You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout him, as long as you do what he wants.”
Resisting the urge to launch the cup of soda at him, I set it onto the table. “I have a right to know what my dad is mixed up in. You say it isn’t drugs. Then, what is it?”
Sal’s jaws clicked. Still, I refused to leave until I had more information to work with.
He ducked into the kitchen and returned with a dampened rag to clean up the spilled soda. “You already said you weren’t interested, so what’s the point in talkin’ ‘bout it?”
“My dad reached out to me. Tell me what I wanna know, and I’ll tell you what he said.” Sweat saturated my body the longer I played this game with him, but something told me I might not get another chance.
Sal plopped onto his chair and stabbed at the last bite of chicken.
“Let’s start easy.” I twirled the spaghetti around my fork. “How long have you worked for Cesaré Rocco?”
Sal inhaled a bite of food. He coughed and sputtered and finally sipped his soda to recover faster.
“Don’t like that question? Okay. How long has he been blackmailing the Vitali’s?”
Sal shook his head. “I ain’t tellin’ you nothin’. You know what your job is. There ain’t nothin’ left to say.” He smirked. “You all tryna interrogate me like some cop. It’s cute. Real cute.”
I hovered the empty fork over my plate and stopped mid-chew as he scraped the chair across the floor and rose to his full stature. “Look, Joy. I wish I could tell you everythin’. I know you’re frustrated not knowing the details, but trust me. You’re better off not knowing.” He dropped his sights to my plate. “I gotta take the dogs out again. Take your time.”
I had already scarfed down my food by the time he came downstairs with Luna and Romeo.
“I wanna go.”
“We can walk you to the train,” he offered.
“No. I meant I wanna walk the dogs again. Can I go with you?”
His eyes widened in surprise. “Girl, you ain’t gotta ask.”
HIS NERVOUS ENERGY rubbed off on me as we strolled through the park under the bright street lights.
Romeo panted and stretched the leash to its limit.
“Why dog walking?” Sal inquired, purposely avoiding my eyes.
“I’ll answer any of your questions if you’ll answer mine.”
He stopped in his tracks and forced out a breath.
“My dog died,” I said quietly. “I miss her...so much. That’s why.”
Romeo’s leash slipped from Sal’s hand. He stomped on it, keeping the energetic dog from escaping at the last second.
“That was close,” I said with a nervous laugh. “You almost crushed poor Romeo’s butt into powder.”
Sal side-glanced me and pursed his lips.
“What?”
He shook his head at me and led the way deeper into the park until two cop cars wailed down the street behind us. Sal redirected the dogs to go back the way we’d come.
I protested. “They barely got to go.”
Tuning out my voice, he continued on the path without stopping for the dogs to finish their business.
“Sal.”
The man marched on like a soldier under some mysterious spell. I hesitated to touch his arm and snap him out of it.
“Sal, what’s wrong?” I tapped his lower arm and moved a safe distance in case I startled him.
“The cops are at my house. Look.”
From the far edge of the street, I could hardly tell which house they’d stopped.
“They’ve gotta be here for you.” Sal straightened up. “I bet Cesca called them.”
“Who?”
Sal rolled his eyes at me. “Your boyfriend’s mommy.” He paused at a tree embedded in the sidewalk near the edge of his street to let Romeo and Luna sniff out their final potty spots. “Let’s hurry up and show them you’re alright before they break down my door.”
—I’m glad you came back tonight. The house gets too quiet whenever Angel’s outta town, Sal messaged me while I waited for the train.
—But you’ve got the best company in the world,” I replied. The train squealed to a halt in the station.
—Tonight, I did. I wished you would’ve let me take you home.
I pulled the button camera free from my collar and put it away. Passengers breezed by me as they disembarked and followed the signs to exit. Boarding the train, I settled onto the blue bench beside a woman comforting her wailing toddler and reflected on how strange the night had turned out. A run-in with the cops was the last thing I’d expected, especially when Mom had no idea of my whereabouts. Mrs. Vitali was the only logical option. Thankfully, Sal and I were outside when they arrived, saving me from having to make our dinner together seem normal. Because how often does a customer invite their potential new dog walker to dinner? And what dog walker would accept, especially after learning why Sal had reached out to me in the first place?
Mom’s number flashed across the screen. I let it go to voicemail.
—On my way now. Send.
But I didn’t wanna go home.
—Where are you? Mom texted back.
Before I could reply, Sal sent another message.
—Luna and Romeo miss you already. They’ve been staring out the window since you left.
I sent a crying face emoji and thought of Storm. Tomorrow. I would go to her grave tomorrow. For now, I needed to figure out a lie to satisfy Mom.
I STARED AT THE THIRTY-four on Selena’s apartment door, trying to postpone the inevitable. As I turned the key, Mom unfastened the lock and ripped the door open.
“Where have you been? Do you know what time it is? I’ve been calling and texting you all night?” Mom jerked me inside by the arm.
I kept my head low and absorbed every terror-filled question and assumption she’d entertained before my arrival. I deserved it, all of it.
“Do you know what you put me through?” she continued. “I called neighbors, went to your school, interrogated Mr. Quaid...What if someone hurt you? What if that guy from the other day took you?” Her voice broke with her final question. She faced away from me to regain control. “Who do you think you are roaming the streets and not tellin’ anybody where you are?” She glowered at me.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to be gone so long,” I said. “Giovanni and I have been having serious problems. I let this girl from school get under my skin, and it caused tension between us. I needed time to think.”
Selena approached me, her face tear-stained and engraved with worry. Without a word, she squeezed me tightly and sniffled in my ear for a long time.
“I’m sorry. I told you guys I was alright.”
Her hold tightened, stopping short of suffocating me.
“Do you have any idea how many kids go missing wandering these streets?” Mom said. “Then, Giovanni turns up here lookin’ for you, and we just knew you’d been kidnapped!”
Selena released me and backed away. “Don’t ever do that again.” Her mouth tightened.
I removed my ball cap. “I won’t. I’m sorry.”
Mom’s jaw clicked and her eyes narrowed. “You’re grounded. Your life for the next month is school and work. That’s it. No more hanging out with Giovanni, going out whenever you want, or turning your phone off so no one can get a hold of you.” Her nostrils flared. “I didn’t get it for your own convenience! Now get ready for bed.”
“Wait!” Selena locked her sights on Mom. “Hug your daughter,” she commanded.
Mom looked away and crossed her arms in defiance.
“Hug your daughter, Fai. You’re preaching about how scared and upset you were tonight, and you actually have the chance to do something thousands of parents wish they could with their children. But you know what? Maybe you don’t really care about her. My mistake.” Selena turned and hugged me again. “I love you, Freckles.” Her voice trembled, draining the tears from my eyes.
“I love you too. I’m sorry.”
She stroked my head, and, before retreating to her room, glared at Mom in disgust.
Following her lead, I scurried into my bedroom and sifted through the last of the clean clothes in the closet.
“So, where were you?” Mom interrogated from the hallway.
I faced her, clutching mismatched pajamas in my arms. “At the park...watching the dogs. I...” My throat constricted. “I miss her. I miss her so much.”
Mom rushed over and gave me a firm hug. I let all of the day’s reminders of Storm to anchor me in the sea of my sorrow. Bawling into her shoulder, I imagined Selena in Mom’s place and let myself drown until she gripped my arms and pulled away.
“Get a hold of yourself. Come on,” she urged, drying my tears on the underside of her wrist. “You gotta get over this. She’s gone. Cryin’ about her ain’t gonna bring her back.”
I shrugged her off and wrestled violently with Mom’s words. My hatred for her indifference toward me replaced my sorrow.
As I maneuvered around her into the hall, she followed. “Wait. Joy. I only meant—”
“I don’t wanna hear it. Selena was right. You can’t even pretend to care about me.” I locked the bathroom door and ignored her pleas for me to open up.
She’d never change. She loved herself too much, and I needed to accept that.
I EMERGED FROM THE bathroom and searched frantically for my phone. Cracking the door to Mom’s room, I discovered it on her nightstand. The warm glow of the bedside lamp highlighted the two worry lines between her brows. She’d fallen asleep to the ‘90s R&B music playing softly. An adult coloring book laid at her side, and a few colored pencils were scattered around the box on the bed. Normally, I would’ve tickled her nose with my hair and tried to contain the painful urge to laugh, but I had a mission that hinged on her unconsciousness.
Setting the booklet and pencils on the computer desk under the window, I pulled the blanket around Mom’s shoulders, switched off the lamp, and swiped my phone from the nightstand.
I scrolled through my messages. Giovanni had left not one, and it was already midnight. I sent him a text.
—Can you meet me in 10 minutes? I need to talk to you face-to-face, was his swift reply.
I was terrified of getting caught after Mom’s lectures, and I told him so. Learning what new punishment she would enforce after finding me gone in the middle of the night was not my latest goal in life.
I climbed onto the fire escape in my PJ’s and called him instead.
Giovanni sighed heavily into the phone. “I wish I could be with you now. I worried so much for you.”
“I’m sorry.” The cold metal under my butt, paired with a cool breeze, chilled me to the bone.
“Why did you lie to me?” His voice broke with the question.
“Would you have tried to stop me from going?”
“I would not let you go alone.”
“Sal offered me a different job. Remember that man from outside the flower shop? He sent me a letter the other day and said my dad had sent him to warn me and Mom to get out of town, that we were in danger because of my dad. I didn’t believe it at first, but Sal told me he really is in trouble.”
“He knows your father?”
“Not really. He said my dad stole something. They want me to help them get it back.”
Giovanni stayed silent for a long time. “What will you do?”
“I’m not doing it. I bought a camera tonight to record everything he said. I get why you and your mom were scared for me, but I felt safer with it.”
He sighed heavily into the phone. “I thought I lost you tonight.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “But I’m glad I went. Now we don’t have to worry so much.” I pressed my ear to the window to see if Mom or Selena was onto me. False alarm. “I’ve gotta go.”
We said our goodbyes, and I deleted the evidence of our contact from my phone before returning it to Mom’s room.