Philip couldn’t help thinking about his parents. How he wished he could stop grieving and move on. But the circumstances were different. Hazel’s family had gotten sick and died. His mother had died in childbirth and his father had killed himself to avoid the bitter pain of loss.
He was pretty sure God hadn’t just called them home. Everyone at the orphanage had whispered his father had died too young and of a broken heart. He didn’t think the Lord wanted anyone to kill themselves.
Hazel’s voice pulled him from his reverie.
“To make a long story short, that young man married me and built the house in the hill. It took time, but soon I understood his language. Never was very good at speaking it, but I learned enough to know that he loved me. After five years, I finally found out that his tribe had left him here to die with me. They were afraid the fever would kill them all. Since he wouldn’t leave me, they left him.”
“That is so sweet,” Bella said when Hazel paused.
“He was a good man,” Hazel agreed.
Philip asked, “How did the top part of the house come about?”
“Well, in the winter I read the books I’d brought with me out here. One evening I showed him pictures of a white man’s house. Come spring he started cutting down trees and dragging the logs home. Together we built the house on top of the hill. We were happy for another five years until one day a grizzly bear got him. He made it home to me but didn’t recover from the wounds.” A tear trickled down Hazel’s wrinkled cheek.
Once more Bella said, “I’m sorry.” She held her hand up to stop Hazel from saying it wasn’t her fault. “I know I didn’t tell the bear to attack him, but I can still feel bad for your loss.”
Hazel wiped the moisture from her face. “I know, child. Anyway, for the next year I mourned my husband. It was a few months later that I met my second husband and he built this house for me. He was a good man and I loved him, too. Just differently.”
Bella nodded. Doubt filled her eyes, but she didn’t contradict what Hazel had said. She smiled. “So in the end, you did find happiness again.”
Hazel nodded. “I did. Now, would anyone like a fresh cup of coffee?”
Philip held his cup out and grinned at her. He deliberately put a teasing tone into his voice when he said, “And I’d love more of that bread. I do believe you are the best baker around.”
His words caught Bella’s attention. She leaned forward, holding out her cup for Hazel to pour the coffee into. “I’d love to share recipes with you Hazel. Baking is something I really enjoy.”
Joy filled Hazel’s watery eyes. “I would like that, too.” She waved a hand at Philip. “This one is a flatterer, but from one baker to another, what do you think of my sweetbread?” She handed Philip another slice of bread.
“It’s good. I love the flavor.” She smiled at Hazel. “This is one of the recipes I want.”
“I’ll be happy to share it.” Hazel stood, but Philip waved her back down.
“We need to be getting back to the relay station. I’m supposed to ride out tomorrow.” Philip stood.
Bella stood also. “I can get it later, Hazel. Now that we are neighbors we’ll be able to spend lots of time together.”
Philip held Bella’s coat out to her. She slipped her arms into the sleeves and said, “Thanks for giving us the house, Hazel. I love it.”
“You’re welcome, child. I hope you are as happy in it as I was.” She picked up their dishes and added them to the tray. “You can start moving in whenever you are ready.”
“We’ll wait until I get back,” Philip said as he opened the door. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
Bella waved. “’Bye.”
Philip shut the door. The wind had picked up and blew coldly into their faces. He held Bella’s elbow as they stepped off the porch.
When they were on their horses and headed out of the yard, Bella said, “Hazel is an interesting woman.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I learned a lot today. I’d no idea she was married to a Pawnee or that she’d been married twice.”
They rode in silence. Then Bella asked, “Do you think the Pawnee keep an eye on her?”
“You mean, like family?”
“I suppose.” She looked around as if thinking that one of the tribe would step out of the woods at any moment.
He shrugged. Now was as good a time as any to warn her of the dangers in these parts. “I’ve seen them around, but they’ve been friendly enough. Never connected them to Hazel before.” Philip glanced her way. “Promise you won’t ride alone out here. It’s dangerous and not just from the Pawnee. Like Hazel said, there are bears out here.”
Bella nodded. “I promise. I’ve heard that there are also bandits that prey on single travelers. I’ll be careful.” She stroked the horse’s mane.
“Good.” He rocked with the movements of the horse. A light snow began to fall and he shivered. If it continued to snow, his ride tomorrow would be miserable. He hated riding the trail in the cold and snow.
His thoughts moved to the house. They would need a kitchen table, furniture for the sitting room, and the boys would need a bed. He dreaded sleeping on the cold floor. Maybe he should give Josephine and Thomas his bed and build two smaller ones. When would he have time for that? Was it time to give up riding the Pony Express trail? Apprehension crawled up his spine. If he did, would he be able to make a living selling his furniture?
* * *
Bella enjoyed the silent companionship that Philip offered. From the look on his face, she knew he was deep in thoughts and that they troubled him. Could it be he regretted marrying her and taking on a family? She asked, “Would you like to talk about it?”
Startled, he answered her question with a question. “Talk about what?”
“Whatever has your gut tied in a knot.” She offered him a smile.
He sighed. “Am I that easy to read?”
Bella shrugged.
“I was thinking about quitting the Pony Express and opening a furniture business.” He pulled up his collar to deflect the snow that was drifting down.
Bella pulled her own coat tighter about her waist. “Why do you want to quit?”
“Well, we need lots of furniture and there isn’t really any place in town to buy it. I’ll have to build beds, tables, chairs and chests for clothes.” Philip looked at her. “Riding once a week doesn’t leave a lot of time to build.”
“We don’t have to have it all at once. If you want to quit the Pony Express, that’s one thing. If you feel like you have to quit to make us a comfortable home, that’s another.” She smiled to take the sting out of her words.
“You don’t mind sleeping on the floor or eating standing up?”
“Not my first choices, no. But we’ll figure out something. People have done without fancy furniture since the beginning of time. Besides, I’ll help you and we’ll get it done, one piece at a time.”
He grinned. “You really are something, you know that?”
Bella laughed. “I’m something, all right.” She gently kicked her mare. “I’ll race you to the house.”
Wind and snow whipped their faces as they raced to the barn. Bella heard his horse catching up with her and laughed. She lay low over the saddle and yelled to the horse. “Run! Run! Run!”
As if it understood, the Pony Express horse tore off. She caught her breath as adrenaline raced through her veins. Never before had Bella ridden so fast. Exhilaration caused her to laugh with joy.
Philip raced beside her. His own face was filled with enjoyment. They raced into the yard. He pulled back on the reins and bellowed, “Whoa!” His horse stopped.
But no matter how many times Bella screamed “Whoa!” her horse kept on going. Her excitement turned to fear as the horse continued past the house and up the trail.
She heard horse’s hooves thundering behind her and, without turning around, knew Philip was giving chase. He raced up beside her horse, leaned over and grasped the reins from her hands. His strong voice called, “Whoa!” and both horses came to a slow stop.
Bella felt as if her heart was going to pound out of her chest. Uncontrollable tears began to slip down her cheeks. Shame filled her when she saw the expression on his face.
Philip moved his horse beside hers and climbed from his saddle behind her. His strong arms wrapped around her and she lowered her head. With gentle hands he pulled her deeper into his embrace and whispered words of comfort.
Bella leaned back into his hug and allowed herself to cry. Tears hadn’t fallen even at her sister’s funeral. She’d had to be strong for the boys’ sake. Now fear had brought all those emotions up to the surface.
Philip released her and slipped off the horse’s back. He reached up and pulled her down with him. Once her feet were on the ground, Philip pulled her into his embrace.
Snow fell around them. Bella knew they should get out of the cold, but she couldn’t stop the flow of tears. She pressed her face into the front of his jacket and wept for all she’d lost over the last few months. His hands rubbed her back and soothed her broken heart. Bella wished they could stay here always but knew that soon life would call them both away.