Victoria followed Dr Charlotte Fontaine through the hospital’s in-patient recreation room. She’d never felt so out of place in her life. Her expensive couture was at odds with a room filled with people wearing what could generously be described as loungewear.
Her heels clicked loudly on the linoleum flooring, causing patients to look at her as she passed. She tried not to make eye contact with any of them.
In the corner of the room was a table. Three chairs around the table were unoccupied. The remaining chair faced away from Victoria, but she knew its occupant was Holly.
As they got closer, she could see that the girl was reading a book. Charlotte took the seat opposite Holly and gestured for Victoria to sit between them. Victoria was grateful that Holly was looking at Charlotte as she sat down. She was sure her usual neutral mask had slipped upon seeing Holly. The short hair and unhealthy pallor were shocking to see in person.
“Bonjour, Clémence. How are you today?” Charlotte asked.
Holly smiled and laid her book down on the table. Victoria noted that it was a moth-eaten copy of Moby Dick.
“I’m good, thank you.”
Four simple words, so common in everyday conversation, struck fear into Victoria’s heart. There wasn’t a trace of recognition from Holly. She didn’t sound like herself, she sounded hollow.
Victoria wasn’t sure if she believed in the concept of a soul, but if she had to explain Holly’s demeanour in that moment, it would be as if hers were missing.
“Bon,” Charlotte replied. She gestured to Victoria. “This is Victoria.”
Holly turned to look at Victoria and held out her hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Holly said, a polite smile on her face.
Victoria stalled for a moment before shaking her hand.
“Likewise,” she said simply.
Holly retracted her hand and looked back at Charlotte. Confusion was clear in her expression as she waited for an explanation.
Victoria looked down at her own hand. She realised that it was probably the first time she had ever come into direct physical contact with Holly.
Charlotte gestured to Victoria, encouraging Holly to face her again.
“Do you recognise Victoria?” Charlotte enquired casually.
Holly turned to look at her again.
Victoria held herself taut. It was the first time any of her assistants had ever looked at her with such a probing eye. Most of her staff, Holly included, avoided eye contact at all costs. It felt strange to be under such scrutiny, especially from someone who had formerly been so timid.
“I’m sorry,” Holly addressed Victoria politely. “I don’t remember anything from before a year ago. I had an accident. Did we meet?”
Victoria felt her face contort into a supportive half-smile. She had felt for sure that Holly would take one look at her and would experience some kind of total recall. She’d recoil in horror, but at least her memories would be intact.
“Do you think you’ve met?” Charlotte asked before Victoria could speak.
Holly looked at Victoria again. Her eyes scanned her face, her hair, her clothes, looking for anything of consequence that might jog a memory. She looked back to Charlotte with a sad shake of her head.
“I don’t know, I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologise.” Charlotte smiled warmly. She stood up. “I’m going to leave you two to get reacquainted. Call me if you need me, I’ll be right over there.”
Victoria’s heart nearly stopped. Before she had a chance to protest, Charlotte had stepped away. Still within earshot, but far enough away for Victoria to feel abandoned and under an intense spotlight.
Victoria looked at Holly. She opened her mouth and then closed it again, unsure of what to say.
“So,” Holly started, “do you… do you know me?”
“Yes,” Victoria breathed.
“Can you tell me… about… well… me? Like, my name?” Holly asked.
Holly’s desperate plea shook the cobwebs from her mind. Whether or not she wanted to be here, she was, and she was all Holly had. She needed to step up.
“Yes, of course, your name is Holly Carter.”
The girl’s eyes widened. “Holly,” she murmured.
Victoria watched the young woman in astonishment as she whispered her name to herself over and over, testing the feel of it on her tongue.
“I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?” Holly asked.
“Victoria. Victoria Hastings.” She wondered if the name might jog a memory.
“Holly,” the young woman mumbled again. “Victoria Hastings and Holly… what was it again?”
“Carter.”
Holly nodded and stared at the table. Her forehead furrowed, and she appeared deep in thought. After a few moments she shook her head in frustration.
“No, nothing. I’m so sorry.”
Victoria’s hand darted across the table and captured Holly’s before she had time to consider what she was doing.
“Don’t apologise, there’s absolutely no need for you to be sorry.”
Holly smiled, still uncertain but starting to become more confident. She squeezed Victoria’s hand gently before retracting her own.
“So, are you… I mean.. are we… related? Or…?” Holly looked uncertain.
“We… worked together,” Victoria said. She wasn’t sure how much she wanted to give away just yet. She knew Holly needed the information, but she wanted to wait a little while longer before the inevitable distance was thrown up between them again.
Holly slowly nodded. “Where do… did we work?”
“Arrival, an international fashion magazine. I am the New York editor-in-chief and you… were… my second assistant.”
Holly couldn’t have looked more surprised if Victoria had told her that she was an astronaut. As the information sunk in, she let out a small giggle.
“So… I’m a fashion person?”
Victoria chuckled lightly at the very thought.
“No, you were most definitely not a fashion person, Holly. You came to work for me because you were interested in writing, editorials and journalism. You were a temp who became a permanent member of staff after my previous second assistant left. I believe you were hoping to move to the writing staff in the future, or to one of our sister publications.”
Holly smiled. “Phew, I thought I’d lost more than my memory for a moment. I mean, I can tell you’re into all that fashion stuff, but I don’t think that’s me.”
Victoria allowed the phrase fashion stuff to go by with merely a tiny wince.
Holly suddenly slapped her hand across her mouth. Her eyes were wide, realisation dawning.
“You’re my boss!”
Victoria nodded.
“Yes, I am… well…” She hesitated for a moment, debated whether she should mention Holly’s vanishing act. It occurred to her that this new information could explain Holly’s sudden departure. Maybe the girl hadn’t up and quit her job after all.
“Yes, I’m your boss.”
“And you have two assistants?” Holly questioned.
“Yes.” Victoria nodded.
“So, you’re kind of a big deal?” Holly asked.
Victoria dismissed the question with a small flick of her wrist. “Never mind that now, Holly. We need to focus on you, not me.”
Holly slowly nodded. Victoria could see the cogs of her mind working overtime.
“Do I have any family? Am I married? Do I have kids? What about my mom and dad?”
Victoria blinked at the onslaught of questions. She swallowed, realising again that she was probably the worst person in the world to be doing this.
“You’re not married, as far as I’m aware. And no children. I’m afraid I don’t know about your parents, we never really spoke of…” She paused. She wanted to say that they had never spoken of anything personal. She wanted to clarify their relationship. Wanted to advise Holly that she had had the misfortune of coming across the least helpful person possible.
“I suppose I always knew that I didn’t have anyone,” Holly said. “I mean, no one ever came looking for me. And the guy from the embassy said that no one had reported me missing.”
Victoria had no idea how to respond to that. It seemed so wrong that Holly had been left to fend for herself in a foreign country. Recovering in a hospital with the knowledge that no one had missed her presence.
“So, do I live in New York?”
Victoria felt relief at the arrival of a question she could answer with certainty.
“Yes, you live in the city.”
“Wow…” Holly smiled, her head tilted as she took that piece of information in. “I wonder if I still have a place there. I wonder where my stuff is? I must have had stuff?”
“Yes, you must have had ‘stuff’,” Victoria agreed.
Samuel approached the table. “Hello, Clémence.”
Holly jumped up and hugged the man. “Sam! Oh, Sam, did you do this? Did you find Victoria?”
“Oui.” He stepped back, a wide smile on his face as he clutched Holly’s hands in his. “I had nearly given up. And suddenly I saw you on television.”
Holly’s eyes shone with surprise. “Me? On television?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “You and Victoria. I only saw you for a second, but I knew it was you. It was a news article about Fashion Week. They were showing some footage from the previous year, and there you were. Beside this wonderful lady here.”
Victoria felt herself blush as he nodded in her direction.
Holly threw her arms around him again. “I cannot thank you enough!”
Victoria felt uncomfortable and used the opportunity to make her escape. She stood up. “Excuse me, I need to speak with Dr Fontaine.”
Holly took a step back from Samuel and looked at Victoria, her eyes flashing with fear.
“I will be right back, I just need to speak with your doctor,” she reassured. “I won’t be leaving.”
Holly nodded, a fearful look remaining on her face. Samuel put his arm around her and gestured to the book on the table.
“Moby Dick, again?” he asked.
Holly and Samuel sat down at the table and spoke with each other.
Victoria made eye contact with Charlotte. The doctor nodded her head and indicated a corridor off of the recreation room where they could speak privately.
Once they were away from prying ears, Victoria spoke. “I’m not a medical expert, but twelve months is a very long time for someone to still be in the hospital. She doesn’t appear to be ill, aside from the memory loss. I’m surprised that she is still here.”
Charlotte leaned against the wall, her arms folded across her chest. “Yes, when she first arrived, she was in emergency care for a month while she recovered from the accident. For the next six months, she was here for therapy to recover her motor skills—”
“Motor skills?” Victoria questioned.
“It’s not unusual for brain trauma patients to need to relearn basic motor functions. Walking, eating, drinking, writing. Luckily Clémence—apologies, Holly—recovered these skills quickly. For other skills, she is still receiving therapy. This, coupled with the fact that the system here is very slow, means that Holly has remained here while our board decided where she would go and who would care for her.”
“Care for her?”
“Yes, she’s unable to care for herself. Her motor functions are still not one hundred percent. She had no knowledge of the French language other than basic phrases. Part of her treatment has been to immerse her in her native language. The American authorities could not identify her and therefore would not pay for her treatment. The French authorities wanted the Americans to take responsibility for her wellbeing. Holly has been stuck in a very long game of political Ping-Pong. She has remained here while the legal issues are outstanding.”
Victoria could well believe the scenario Charlotte described. She’d dipped her toe into the political world on occasion, only to be horrified at the amount of red tape that greeted her.
“How do I resolve this? How can I get her home?”
Charlotte let out a long breath. “Well, that would be very difficult. You would need to prove who she is. That way she can be released from the care of the French medical system. Then there would need to be a decision made regarding her ability to travel, we would need to be sure that someone would care for her on-going medical needs. We cannot simply let her go without knowing she will be cared for. If something were to happen, we could be held responsible.”
Victoria leaned her back against the opposite wall and stared down at the floor. She was starting to realise the enormity of the situation.
“And, we must not forget,” Charlotte continued, “that it is of course up to her, as well.”
Victoria looked up.
“We cannot allow someone to take responsibility for her without her permission. She is mentally able to have a say. There are few people in the world she knows, never mind trusts,” Charlotte said.
Victoria nodded. She turned to look into the recreation room where Samuel and Holly were deep in conversation. She started to have a small inkling of how lost and helpless Holly must have felt soon after the accident. Everything had changed, and everything was going to continue to change for a while longer yet.
She couldn’t leave the girl behind again. She felt she was suffocating with guilt already. There was no way that she would be leaving Paris without her former second assistant.