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NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE glad to find a new scent on my border. I ruffed contentment after sniffing a pile of wolf droppings that were neither mine nor Rajor’s. Another pack had found a new home. Between the harsh winter, and the constant threat of the humans, it was a welcome sign. It made the recent return of my own pack feel that much better. Like things might finally be turning in the right direction, and staying there, for a change.
“Found something, Luna?” Estrella asked while Tilhack sniffed at the marking.
“A touch of hope,” I said. “If you haven’t noticed, there aren’t many foreign wolves these days.”
“I have noticed. Can’t imagine what happened to them.”
Crack!-Cshoo-shooo
Estrella and I turned our ears toward the sound, as did Tilhack after he took cover behind us. I couldn’t tell if he’d been startled or just wasn’t used to it being that close yet. Then again, with their escape being so fresh, I could understand him being extra cautious too.
“There’s your answer,” I said. “That and the harsh winter either killed them or drove them off.”
Estrella sighed with shifting ears while I walked along our border in search of a trail.
“Makes you wonder how long this new pack will last,” she said.
Tilhack snapped up with his ears perked forward. “Not long by the sounds of it. Is that a pup?”
I perked one ear, then turned both when I heard whimpers through the trees. Like Tilhack, I couldn’t determine the wolf’s age, just its pain. Instinct drew my paws forward in search of the owner.
“Luna?” Tilhack said. “What are you doing? It’s not our territory.”
“It’s not anyone’s territory if that’s all that’s left of the pack,” I said. Tilhack’s ears fell, so I flicked my tail across his nose. “Relax. This is how we do things in the wild.”
Tilhack only ruffed in reply. Good enough, I guess.
The whimpers weren’t fading, but they were moving. I tried to find the source of the sound among the trees without going any further in than I had to. I caught a glimpse of movement behind an oak tree and stepped closer with Estrella just behind, watching for anyone coming close to us. The glimpse became a pair of adult wolves walking between streams of daylight. Or more correctly, a male limped while a female leaned into him to keep him going. Too bad she and I are taken, I thought. She was impressive. Smaller than Estrella, but something about her suggested a quiet strength that was familiar. Much like her larger-than-normal black tail tip that reminded... wait...
“Jinta?”
My ears perked up, as did Estrella’s.
Tilhack tilted his head at us. “Who is Jinta?”
“My sister,” I said. “What is she doing out here? And who’s the male?”
I watched, trying to evaluate the situation without being seen. The border marking wasn’t hers, nor anyone else I knew, which kept me from further violating the territory. Either Rajor had lost control of the pack, or Jinta was running with someone else. Either way, running to her now could put my own pack at risk. No matter how much trouble she might be in, I couldn’t take that chance.
That said, I didn’t see anyone else, pup or otherwise. Of course, that did not mean they weren’t there. The part of me requiring caution wanted to leave them. My blood refused to. Not until we know why the male is limping, or until a challenge is issued.
Another pain-filled yelp echoed as the male collapsed. I watched on while Estrella and Tilhack watched me for instructions.
“I can’t,” the male said between pants, his voice almost familiar. “I can’t go on.”
Jinta tugged at him, trying to get him back up. “Oh yes, you can. I didn’t split from Rajor’s pack to give up on you now.”
That’s one answer. At the very least, Jinta was with a new pack now. Still, something in the male seemed incredibly familiar. His voice, to a point, though his fur was the biggest pull. It was a pelt of nearly pure ash, with his underside more a brownish cream, yet still ashy. I had seen that fur pattern before, but the memory was so old, barely a fragment remained.
The male protested again. “Jinta, I can’t. My leg won’t go anymore.”
“Then carry it! I’m not leaving you. We live and die together.”
My heart stopped. Something was chasing them. Something that had them running scared enough to keep moving despite the male’s injury. I didn’t hear anything else, and the wind was blowing the wrong way to carry any clues. I could only guess they were running from a rival pack, or perhaps another predator, like a bear or mountain lion.
“Jinta, get out of here,” the male said. “If you don’t leave, the humans will get you too.”
Questions answered.
“Humans?” Estrella said. “Tell me they’re not the same ones we just got away from.”
With the wind still at our tails, we only had our eyes and ears to help us find any sign of the humans. We found nothing until we heard a loud thwack, followed by birds squawking as they were scared to the wing. Our eyes followed the commotion, where we found a pair of humans with thunder sticks. One of whom, whose head was utterly bald, I recognized as a member of the pack that came every year. Should have known better. Humans don’t do quiet. The other, I didn’t know. He was so young, I guessed this was his first hunt, possibly even the bald one’s pup. Whatever their relation, they were traipsing through the forest as they’d always done: loudly.
My hackles bristled, as did Estrella’s. She was the first to growl, but I was the first to move. A trot became a run, a run became a sprint, a sprint became a snarl-filled charge. I would not allow this. Not this time, not to my blood.
The humans heard us too late. The bald one only had time to see me leap into his neck. I dug my fangs deep, tearing flesh with repeated bites. The human gasped and gargled as we hit the ground, blood covering us both. He didn’t last much longer. The second human had turned my way, only to have Tilhack tackle him from the side. His first bite tore out the human’s throat. His second snapped it before he could bleed to death.
I turned to check on Jinta and found Estrella already there, having more luck with the male than she had. Jinta, meanwhile, was shaking her head for some reason, though I heard Estrella say something about a long story. Perhaps Jinta, like me, was needing to readjust to the idea that Estrella wasn’t dead after all.
As for her companion, I saw for the first time the gash on his right foreleg, fresh blood staining a coat I still felt I knew. No wonder he couldn’t run. With a wound like that, it’s hard to do much of anything. Especially if it’s half as fresh as it looks.
Estrella had him standing, but he still refused to step forward. That needs to change. As much as he needed to, we couldn’t let him wait for the wound to seal.
“Come on,” I said. “We can’t stay here.”
Now the male moved. He stopped me cold when he turned around to snarl at me. He winced with tucked leg while his glare bore through me. A glare that suggested he was ready to kill.
“I’ll go nowhere with you. You didn’t want me before. Why would you want me now?”
My confusion at his timing silenced all other thoughts for the time being. “Never wanted you? What are you talking about?”
“Don’t you remember me? Don’t you remember the pup you rescued only to abandon the same day?”
My ears perked in shock. I mentally bit myself for not remembering or recognizing his voice, even if it was different as an adult. His pelt hadn’t changed much as he grew. Toltan said he’d caught Jinta’s eye. Seems little Folar, not so little anymore, had done more than that. He’d grown strong within the pack. Strong enough to give me pause despite his injury. Were danger not likely close by, I might have spent more time admiring the adult Folar had become.
Instead, I turned my ears back at my choice of words. I prayed they’d pacify Folar long enough to get to safety.
“All right, I deserve that, but you don’t have a lot of choice right now.”
“Don’t I?” Folar said. “You told me to learn the pain. Well, I have. Enough to know I want nothing to do with you. Now leave us alone, or face my fangs.”
Folar perked his ears forward, raising his hackles and his lips. I couldn’t believe it when I realized he was serious. Despite the certain presence of humans, he couldn’t let go of that day, even for a moment.
Folar’s challenge vanished when Jinta bit just below the wound. He yelped in pain, then turned to fend her off. He growled again while she only glared at him.
CRAACK!-cshoo-shoo
There was no blood, thank Wolfor, but fur from under Folar’s neck flew off like a dozen tufts of sheddings blown away in a wind. He’d come that close to dropping where he stood. I didn’t wait for the human to try again. I grabbed Folar by his scruff and pulled him, yelping and trying to escape into the best cover I could find. It turned out to be a thick log covered in moss, but it would have to do.
Folar was still snarling despite the cringe holding the rest of his body. Just what I need with humans around.
“Shut up and stay on my tail,” I said. “These humans are noisy beasts, but they can be tenacious too.”
Folar’s glare remained. “You can’t—”
“Shut up!” Estrella, Tilhack, and Jinta all said with a snarl turned his way. Folar became half the size he was as a pup. He tried to be angry, but he didn’t dare risk that many jaws.
I perked my ears into the forest, but I didn’t hear anything, not even a bird. Either this human was actually stealthy, or he hadn’t moved. I couldn’t risk either, so I prayed Wolfor was with me when I decided to make my move.
I tossed my head back toward my territory. I stalked forward ahead of the others, but my ears were trained behind us, in search of the humans. We kept to what shadows we could find, skittering between bushes when we couldn’t. Folar whimpered with each step, but neither Tilhack nor Jinta would let him stop a second time. Nor would Jinta let him put his injured leg down to use it. Smart wolf.
Our group snuck through the forest for as long as Folar kept moving. When his steps came on shaking legs, I knew we’d gone as far as we could. I found an area thick with trees that kept the sun from shining there, creating a deep shadow the humans could easily walk past. Folar laid inside a crease in a tree, then whined and cringed at his wound. More so when Jinta began to clean it for him. I held my vigil in the direction we’d come, more disturbed at my thoughts than the blood on my muzzle.
Luck. That’s all it had been. Luck we’d been there, luck Jinta and Folar were still alive, luck the humans were the prey instead of us, luck Estrella and Tilhack had escaped their grasp. I was getting sick of it. Sick of always running, never really sleeping, getting wrapped in terror every time I heard a thunder bolt. I could live with predators. I could even accept becoming prey, but these humans? They were just killers, and I’d had enough of them.
Estrella joined me while I watched the forest. My mind was elsewhere, considering the most outrageous of ideas.
“Any sign of them?” she asked.
I breathed stress before tapping my muzzle against hers. “I think we’re safe for now. How’s Folar?”
Estrella looked back, then flicked her ears when Folar yelped again.
“I’ve seen pups with stronger wills. I can’t believe Jinta thinks he’s worth mating with.”
“He’s actually doing... wait, mating?”
Estrella ruffed brief amusement. “You losing your touch, thorn? I can smell it on her. Jinta’s pregnant. That, and the way she’s caring for him, well... I’d think by now you’d recognize that kind of care.”
I ruffed agreement, and felt myself turn stern. My little sister? Pregnant? I couldn’t imagine it somehow. Not that I doubted Estrella. If she said Jinta was pregnant, I believed her. It made what I was thinking become not just easy. It became necessary.
“Guess I am a bit distracted,” I said. “Anyway, I wouldn’t judge Folar yet. The humans’ thunder sticks don’t always kill you. Maybe the magic doesn’t always work right, I don’t know. I just know I got a wound like that once, and it hurt worse than three broken legs for some time. He should be better by morning. I hope he is. We’re going to need him soon.”
Estrella became grave, even guarded, as hairs rose in response. “Need him for what?”
“To end this. We can’t keep going like this. Wolves have lived here for generations. Now these humans seek to wipe us out? I won’t allow it. We have to end this. We have to drive the humans off.”
Estrella’s ears went straight while her eyes grew. “Luna! Have you lost your mind? The humans have thunder sticks and who knows what else. We’re just wolves.”
I allowed an evil glare at the thought of them doing the running for a change. “Exactly. We’re wolves. Our territory stands threatened. By Wolfor’s fang, I will see it defended.”
Estrella ears went straighter, appalled at the idea. The look faded into deep thought when I didn’t relent. How could I? I’d seen too many wolves killed, I’d heard the thunder too many times, and I’d felt its bite. Now they’d come that close to killing my sister and her pups. As the resentment grew, so did the feeling that I should have done it years ago. This forest, this territory, it belongs to me, to my kind. I’d had enough of letting the humans violate it unchallenged.
Estrella’s ears kept twitching, no doubt fighting with some unpleasant thoughts. I could see the weight of those thoughts when she turned her ears toward a more silent Folar.
“It won’t be easy, Luna,” she said. “The humans carry a lot of power and they know it.”
I stared her down, trying to make her believe as I did. “We only have to drive them off. A united pack snarling death should do the trick.”
“I’m not so sure. Convincing them we have more may not be possible without a scuffle. We’d lose lives if we took them on. You sure it’s worth that?”
Yet again, something answered for me. A chorus of howls echoed from the forest. Not Rajor, not a new pack, not even wild wolves. I knew those voices too well to think otherwise. Only one pack sounded that disorganized, and to call them wolves was an insult to all wolves.
I turned to Estrella, now fully committed. “Those are the pet wolves I told you about. Carlin’s pups? If the humans can force us to abandon the wild, what else might they do? That’s assuming they don’t just kill us. I won’t be killed by some thunder stick to have my hide carried off for who knows what. This is my forest. This is my territory. I will not allow this violation any longer.”
“Then you know where I’ll be,” Estrella said without hesitation. “I’ve followed you this long. I’m not about to abandon you now.”
“Don’t forget me,” Tilhack said. I hadn’t noticed him come close enough to listen in. “New or not, I care about her well-being, about both of you. If you’re charging into battle the humans, I won’t be far behind. Call it proof my wolf blood isn’t just red water.”
No need for that. He’d already proven a natural ability to hunt. So much so I almost wanted another harsh winter to see him shine like I felt sure he could. I bet he’d cut through the snow just like Martol did, if not better.
But a fine hunter means little in a territory dispute. Against other wolves, maybe we’d have a chance, but humans? The five of us would need to show a lot to scare them off. A larger pack would guarantee it. Unfortunately, only one remained, and they might be more dangerous than the humans.
“I’ve never doubted your blood, Tilhack,” I said. “That said, we need more. A pack our size, though fierce, may not be enough to scare the humans. To do that, we’ll need more bodies, and I know only one place to find them.”
Tilhack tilted his head. Estrella sighed deeply.
“You do remember the risk that brings?” Estrella asked.
Intimately. “I know no other way. They stand threatened more than we do. No matter our past, Rajor has to listen to reason.”
“I’m not so sure about that, Luna.”
“I am,” Jinta said. She stood behind Tilhack, glancing back at a still wincing Folar. “As I said before, he hasn’t been the same since the fall. More so since the winter.”
“What do you mean?” Estrella said. “What happened?”
“You don’t know?”
“I’ve... been away. Luna hasn’t had a chance to tell me much.”
“He lost half the pack to starvation, including last year’s litter, and much of Martol’s original pack. He’s been a shell of himself since. I think he’d be agreeable to facing a threat that could wipe it out for good.”
Or he could be bitter about so much loss, he might finally decide to have me killed.
“Only one way to find out,” I said aloud. “We’ll wait here a bit longer, let Folar’s wound stop hurting. I’ll check our trail, make sure the humans didn’t follow us.”
“You shouldn’t go alone,” Estrella said.
“I’ll be fine. The wind has changed in our favor, and it’s easier for one wolf to sneak around than two. Have a little faith.” She play-growled at me while her ears ticked forward in agreement. I ruffed a chuckle in reply before returning to the matter of the moment. “When I get back, Tilhack, you and Jinta take Folar to my den. See if you can talk some sense into him. Estrella, I want you in your place, if you’re willing.”
“Would I be anywhere else?”
Only if death could catch you, I thought with a nuzzle for her.
––––––––
I HAD SO MANY ESCAPE routes planned, I felt like I knew the forest by heart. Twenty-four trees, three logs, seventeen bushes, by the time I found a border marker left by Rajor, I was starting to count birds too. A part of me wished my mockingbird was one of them. I stood on my side of the border, Estrella ever solid beside me. If only I felt the same.
“Just tell me I’m crazy,” I said. “Tell me so I know it’s really me that decided to do this.”
“You’re crazy, Luna,” Estrella said without emotion. “That’s why this will work.”
“Have a little faith?”
“See? You do learn.”
A lie I can live with, assuming I actually live.
I had to swallow a few pinecones before I could go through with it. After all, I didn’t have to. The right howls could get what I wanted, but not with the same impact. No, I needed to be sure all of the pack heard me, which left me only one way to proceed.
Another pinecone, and my paws moved. A few steps at a time, each one a violation of my sentence. They came with a thunder in my chest that pulsed through my body, for each one had a high chance of being my last.
I almost wanted a scout to see me. I wanted an excuse to abandon my plan. Wolfor never gave me one, because we never saw anyone, prey or wolf, the farther we crept into Rajor’s territory. For a moment, I returned to the pup I once was. Every sound demanded my attention and drew an extra beat from my heart. A soft crack, or a shadow, or that leaf over there, any of them could bring my end. As an adult, I knew better. It just didn’t help.
At last, my ears picked up a conversation. First, voices I never knew well but had heard before, then younger ones, then an older one I knew almost as well as I knew Toltan and Martol. Lonate was teaching the pups again. Like he’d do anything else.
I followed the sound to where the pack had always been. A steep hillside I once called home, that still bore the same den where I was born. Every tree and bush remained exactly the same as the day Toltan drove me off. From on top of the hillside, one could watch the whole pack, as Toltan did on many occasions.
Despite the low number, the pack looked well. Not a dozen wolves, pups included, but all looked strong from what I could see. Many of them were asleep in the afternoon sun breaking through the trees, while the two pups bounced around an old bone. I found Rajor watching them from a distance, oddly quiet and sullen in a shadow.
But where is Lonate? I had heard his voice, so where did he go? Based on previous experience, Lonate would be the ideal place to start, if I could find him.
A short growl from the side startled me and Estrella into cowering. Fear of attack kept us there as Lonate emerged from cover. His tail and hackles were up, but he was otherwise silent. He stared at Estrella a moment with softer ears, then renewed his glare at me.
“I thought you said the humans took her,” he said.
Estrella replied before I could. “They did. I managed to escape and make my way home.”
“I’m glad to see you well. But you shouldn’t be here, either of you. You know what it means for a lone wolf to return. Rajor won’t be as kind as Toltan.”
Maybe he wasn’t so ideal after all. Too late now.
“I don’t have a choice, Lonate,” I said. “I have to speak to Rajor about...”
That dropped his fur. “You what? Are you nuts? The moment he sees you he’ll—”
“LUNA!”
I knew that voice. The pack jolted, then froze as Rajor tore from his spot up the side of the hill toward me. Lonate’s ears went flat, yet for some reason, mine never did. Not until I forced myself to go low, even appear submissive. Estrella tried to get between us, but I pushed my way in front of her. I had to give her a growl of my own to force her to back down. Rajor had to deal with me, or this wouldn’t work at all.
Rajor’s lips were curled back in a snarl as every hair stood on end. His sprint announced my doom with every step. I held my posture, praying it would work, or I’d live long enough to save myself if it didn’t.
Rajor came, and I shook for fear of the pain I may be allowing to come my way. Thankfully, it never did. Rajor stopped cold right in front of me in full display. I didn’t dare move now.
Rajor’s snarl faded, but he was still growling when he spoke. “What are you doing here? You know the law as well as I. You know the price.”
Well, here it goes. May Wolfor guide and protect me. Not necessarily in that order.
“Nothing compared to the price if I don’t come. Rajor, I bring a warning.”
“You dare? I don’t care how many times you best me. This is still my territory. My—”
“That’s not what I mean!” I allowed myself to rise, but slowly, with no hint of threat or challenge. “The humans are back, Rajor. Our packs are the only ones left. If we do nothing, none of us will live to see summer.”
Rajor’s growl stopped, though his glare didn’t. “And what? You want to come back? Be protected?”
“No. I want you to join me in one great display. A united pack to drive the humans off once and for all.”
Rajor’s ears went straight. He looked more appalled than anything else. This can’t be good.
“I don’t believe this,” he said. “You risk your neck to suggest that I follow you in an attack against the humans? Has solitude damaged you that much?”
I turned my ears back with a sigh. I had a hard time fighting past my pride to give a response that wasn’t an insult.
When Estrella stepped forward again, this time, I let her be. It gave me a chance to regain my composure.
“Listen to him, Rajor. We can’t live like this.”
Rajor snorted at her, indignant as usual. “You seem to be fine. Luna said you and the others were dead.”
“The others are dead. I escaped the humans before they could do the same to me. But I had help. If we’re to survive, we have to—”
“No!” Rajor’s growl returned, as did his raised tail. “My pack remains because it is the strongest. The humans won’t dare risk coming after us.”
Just what I didn’t need. The foolish side of Rajor’s pride. I countered with frustration escaping my control.
“Rajor. We can’t wait to be the prey. We have to be the wolves we were born to be. We have to drive the humans off as we would a rival pack, or we risk losing everything.”
Rajor instantly changed. His growl ceased, his ears fell, he even stepped back while his ears repeatedly turned back, as if constantly saying “no.” His tail never tucked, but I could still smell the fear on him. It was almost the same fear I found on Martol and Toltan when the thunder first rang out in the forest.
“I’ve lost too much already, Luna,” Rajor said. “I won’t risk more on a fool’s assault that will only kill those I have left. They are my pack. I must protect them.”
I tried to be as gentle as I could. “This will protect them, Rajor. You have to—”
“No!”
I couldn’t believe it when Rajor started trembling. From nose to tail, he shook like he might fall at any moment. He could hardly breathe as he stared at the pups below. When he came back to me, his glare was born more of fear than anger. What happened to you, brother?
“Get out,” Rajor said. “Get out of here while I’m feeling merciful. Don’t come back unless you want to die.”
“Rajor,” I said, “don’t be—”
“Go, Luna! I will not ask again.”
I didn’t wait long to push Estrella away. We had our answer. Nothing we said would change it.
We didn’t say a word on the way to the den either. I wouldn’t have had anything to offer had we tried. I couldn’t get the image out of my mind. Rajor, my proud brother, paralyzed by fear. Were he not already dead, Toltan would have laughed to death had someone told him. If only I could find such humor in the situation.
“Luna pack still strong and proud, Luna pack will lift the cloud.”
About time he showed up. Haven’t had a strong perk in my ears for a while.
“Thanks,” I said as the bird wove around trees well over our heads. “I don’t suppose you could offer any help.”
“Luna, Luna, need no help, Luna, Luna, ain’t no whelp.”
He left chattering away from a playful growl from me and Estrella. Darn bird hadn’t lost his touch.
We returned to the den where the others were waiting. Folar was still favoring his leg, but he didn’t whimper anymore when Jinta licked it. I hoped it was only pain now, for he’d be no good to us hurt. Assuming he’d hunt with us, or rather me, at all.
Tilhack saw us first. He met us near my caching tree, a soft wag in his tail, the only thing about him that wasn’t quite wolf.
“Well, you’re both alive, so it can’t have gone that bad.”
I growled while flopping in front of the den near Jinta. “Might as well have. Rajor wouldn’t listen. Pride, arrogance, fear, I don’t know why. All I know is he won’t help us.”
Estrella laid beside me and offered a soft rub. “We’ll find a way.”
“You sure about that?” Tilhack said as he found a spot to settle in himself. “I mean, where does this leave us?”
“The same place,” I said. “If Rajor won’t help himself by helping us, fine. We’ll do this ourselves.”
“Luna. Five wolves against the humans? It’s insane. If they were wolves, they’d never take us seriously. I don’t want to think about what the humans would do.”
“Five wolves?” I let myself hope while looking over at Jinta. “Then Folar has changed his mind?”
Jinta ruffed a chuckle while Folar laid his head on his paws, trying to fake sleep. His body relaxed, suggesting he might have found it anyway.
“I didn’t give him a choice,” Jinta said. “As you said, this has to stop. If my big brother is going to scare off the humans, then I owe it to him to be there, even if he did turn me down before. Folar won’t let me go alone, which means he’s forced to join us, no matter how much he hates it.”
“Hates me, you mean.”
Jinta’s ears flashed back. She couldn’t stop a whine either. “You have to admit, you stung him good as a pup. You of all wolves understand the nature of those scars.”
I ticked my ears forward through a wince of my own. Do I ever. It’s what made our parting so hard. At the time, I couldn’t stomach the thought of driving away my only chance of companionship. Yet I had enough sense to know I had to. Toltan just made it easier by relighting my rage. Unfortunately, that same rage made me far harsher than I needed to be, and led to me turning away my mother not long after. The sight of the void behind her eyes still plagued my nightmares sometimes. As did Carlin’s and Toltan’s bodies, Folar, and many other wounds not yet healed.
“Stung me too,” I said. “I had to make a choice. I knew he wouldn’t last long with me. He had to go somewhere. He wouldn’t accept it, so I had to force the choice on him.”
Jinta ticked her ears forward, but otherwise didn’t react. “I know that. I think somewhere he does too, but for all his pride, he’s never really moved past that night. First, he lost his family, then his hero rejected him. It’s hard to think clearly through that.”
And unlike me, he didn’t have anyone to keep him in line when the pain hit. “I know. I can only hope someday he’ll understand. Maybe even forgive me.”
“Don’t count on it,” Folar said from his paws. Guess he wasn’t asleep after all.
I still flicked an ear back at him. He was young. There was plenty of time for him to change his mind.
After so much reflecting, and staring death in the face, my chest felt hollow. Somewhere, my mind thought to look to my cache, then back at Tilhack without a word. He ruffed amusement with a forward tick of his ears. There were still scraps there. I returned his ruff before heading over to settle my stomach. I wasn’t really hungry. I just needed something other than emotion in my chest right now.
Estrella followed, close enough to feel, far enough not to crowd.
“Are you sure we can do this?” she said. “Five wolves is hardly the united pack you were looking for.”
I dug into the tree and picked out a hunk of meat still left over from our latest kill. “Martol started ours with little more.”
“Half of whom, including my parents, are now dead, without ever facing a single human.”
My ears perked at first in surprise, followed by a turn of my head in confusion. Her parents are dead? Estrella cringed in pain, which kept me from asking the question.
She must have seen it in my ears anyway. “Jinta told me while you were checking our trail. Solas died in a hunt, a lot like Martol did, as I understand it. Carfen... her heart died with him. She barely lived long enough to give birth to the pups the pack now has.”
So that’s who they were mourning. When Jinta had come looking to join me, the howl of mourning may well have been for another lost pup, but more likely, they were mourning Carfen. The idea that the proud pair of Solas and Carfen were now dead turned my stomach inside out. As did the heavy question of what would become of the pack without them to provide new blood. Of course, if we’re all dead, it won’t matter much, will it?
Estrella had paused to cringe in her own sorrow. “My point is, as strong as the pack was, they’ve lost members against far weaker foes. Martol told us about hunts in which she lost members, and she never faced humans either.”
“She could have,” I said, conviction returning to settle my insides. “I have no doubt of that. Just like I have no doubt in them. Even Folar, for all his hate, I’m certain of. Five wolves, one wolf, it doesn’t matter. The humans will tuck their tails soon enough.”
I chewed into my snack while Estrella laughed beside me. “Never thought you’d be the one telling me to have a little faith.”
“Like you said, I do learn.”
A quick shadow announced the mockingbird before I saw him land in the branches above us. “Learn, learn, gather more, another comes to help the score.”
Another comes? What is that bird talking about now?
When he said nothing more, I looked around, searching for the meaning. It wasn’t long before I saw another wolf trotting our way. Took me less time to realize it was Lonate... alone... far, far away from the current litter. The world must be ending.
As he got closer, Lonate slowed, with his ears flat against his head and his tail tucked under him. He was acting like an omega begging for scraps. I couldn’t form a word because I’d never seen Lonate act like that, not even around Toltan. The same thoughts kept my ears soft, which allowed Lonate to approach and cower before me.
“Luna,” he said. “I’m sorry for violating your territory. There was no other way.”
I had to shake my head before I could think again. Is this the same wolf? “Lonate, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to join you on your hunt.”
“What? Why now? What about Rajor’s pups?”
Lonate spat as if hacking a bad meal. “Solas’ pups. They’ll be fine without me. I have to do this. I need to do this.”
I could only stare and remember all the days Lonate spent standing guard after the thunder first echoed in the forest. That same wolf stood before me. He carried a wound none could see, but it bled just as much. I couldn’t understand why as a pup. Now I had a chance to learn, and unlike Estrella’s tale, I felt like this story was one I needed to learn. That said, for Lonate’s sake, one change was needed.
“Estrella,” I said. “why don’t you take some scraps to the others? I’m sure Folar could use it.”
Estrela tilted her head, confused, and probably a little hurt. “Luna? What are you—”
“Estrella. Please?”
I asked with my eyes only. I couldn’t say it, perhaps because even the question might betray the moment. Thankfully, Estrella appeared to understand anyway. Despite a backward tick of her ears, she gathered a few scraps, then with the bird chirping and fluttering over her, left me and Lonate alone.
Once we were, I felt my insides grow roots. I didn’t want to do this, but I had to know. I needed to understand what the humans stirred in him. It was the only way I could be sure he could handle the task ahead and, perhaps, help him get past scars of his own.
“Lonate, why do you need to do this? There’s something you’re not telling me.”
Lonate cringed, then shook as if he were cold. It reminded me a lot of Toltan after I’d beaten Rajor last fall. The memory drove a tree through my heart, but it also kept me mindful of how much pain Lonate must be in.
“I have scars of my own, Luna,” Lonate said. “Why can’t you leave it at that?”
If only I could. “Because these scars could threaten my pack. I remember when the humans first came here. You said something about a past you left behind. I need to know what it is so I can help you face it.”
“Face it, or answer for it?”
“I’m not here to judge you, Lonate. I want to help you, but I need to understand the wound before I can heal it. You can’t face the humans until we do.”
Lonate cringed so hard, his eyes closed. When they opened, they asked me, begged me not to let their owner speak. I stood silent. No posture, little emotion, only a pair of ears turned forward to catch every word. The same ears I’d used as a pup to learn everything I now knew. Lonate needed this as much as I did. Estrella had shared as much pain as she could, and the change had been immediate. Lonate was keeping all of his inside. He had to let go before it consumed him. I hoped I was helping him do so without doing harm in the process.
Lonate cringed again, then his eyes filled with tears. I was surprised he didn’t sob when he spoke again.
“I killed them,” Lonate stared at me as if I were responsible. “I killed my pack. First, my younger siblings disappeared, despite my best efforts to keep them safe. They were too curious. They snuck out, and I never saw them again, not until that last day. My brother and I found them, trapped, scared to death. We tried to free them, then they came. Humans. They killed my brother with their thunder sticks, and I ran. I ran to the only place I thought was safe. The humans followed me. I knew they were there, but I kept going. I led them to our den. The others... they...”
The sobs came as Lonate looked as if he couldn’t breathe right. I felt the sting within, but I didn’t move, or say anything, for more was coming. Even though I knew the rest, Lonate needed to say it for himself.
“I didn’t stay to fight,” Lonate said. “The humans came, and I kept running. I was so scared, I couldn’t face them. All I could hear was that terrible thunder, and the whimpers of the injured before they were killed. My fault, my wrong, and I didn’t shed a drop of blood for it. My father alone survived. He blamed me for their deaths, and so do I. He banished me for what I did. He told me I deserved a death worse than theirs for not protecting the pack when I had the chance. So you see, Luna? I didn’t do anything then. I can’t ignore the chance to do something now. It’s my only chance to make things right.”
He continued to sob, and I remained still as I felt the weight of a thousand trees on my back. What do you say to that? I knew it was coming. Partway through, I recognized the tale, yet I still wasn’t prepared for it. Was it the story, or was it the legacy of that stubborn old wolf standing before me that did it? I couldn’t tell, nor could I find a better thing to say in response.
“Driving the humans off won’t change the past, Lonate. Nothing will.”
Lonate glared at me not in anger, but conviction. “No, but it might give me something I can be proud of. Something my father could be proud of if he knew. The pup that led humans to his den grew up to be one of the few wolves who defended another pack from the same fate? That has to count for something.”
“I’m sure it would.”
I had my answer. More than that, I knew what to say now. We’d need to talk about what happened to his younger siblings, among other things, but that was a conversation for another time. The here and now was all about getting Lonate to reconnect with the blood that ran through his veins. I stood tall, trying to act the strong alpha I felt he needed.
“Lonate, if your father knew what you’ve done since that day, I know he’d be proud. I suspect he’d even forgive you.”
His sobs and tears stopped all at once. I could tell from Lonate’s glare that a growl wasn’t far behind. “You don’t know that.”
I didn’t back down, but I did offer a tap of my nose on Lonate’s. If only he knew. “Yeah, I do, but enough of that. Come on. You should see where I’ve been living the last few years, and if you’re going to hunt with us, you’d do well to learn the pack.” I turned to lead the way back, but stopped when I realized Lonate hadn’t moved. I found him stock-still, with his ears straight up. “Well? You coming?”
Lonate’s ears twitched back, but he came to my side, at a trot no less. I nipped at his muzzle to get him to relax, which he returned while his tail floated behind him. We traded a panted laugh, then Lonate turned his ears forward with a snort.
“I’m with you, Luna,” he said. “No matter what happens, I’ll do better this time.”
“I never doubted it,” I said. “And Lonate, only you and I need to know your reasons. The others can settle for your desire to help. Make up whatever excuse you want for the tears. Your past only concerns me, and I’ve already forgotten it.”
Lonate cringed again, but the softness of everything else suggested this one was pain. “Thank you, Luna. That means a lot.”
Least I can do for Carlin’s son.