HOPPER’S COFFEE & CONTEMPLATION

DIFFICULTY

FEEDS

With a hint of caffeine and alcohol, this is a dish to remember, with booze to help you forget

INGREDIENTS

FOR THE CUPCAKES

7 tablespoons soft butter

¾ cup superfine sugar

2 medium eggs, lightly beaten

¾ cup all-purpose flour

Just under 2 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon coffee liqueur (just enough to kick-start your day)

FOR THE BUTTERCREAM

½ cup and 1 tablespoon (1 stick and 1 tablespoon) soft butter

2 cups confectioners’ sugar

1 to 2 tablespoons

Pink food coloring

TO DECORATE

1 packet white chocolate buttons

1 Half-covered chocolate cookie

2 ounces milk chocolate

1 ounce white chocolate

Chocolate twigs

Chocolate sprinkles

Red sugar pearls

Black and red food coloring

Blue hard-shelled candy (i.e. M&M’s)

Yellow chocolate star (you are the chief, after all!)

You will need:

A Muffin tin and 6 paper liners

DIRECTIONS

Get off the couch, brush your teeth, have a smoke and a swig of beer, and get on with it.

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Place 6 liners into a muffin pan.

TO MAKE THE CUPCAKES

Put all the cupcake ingredients into a mixing bowl and beat well together, first with a wooden spoon, then with a whisk until properly mixed and smooth. With an ice cream scoop or a large spoon, divide the mix among the paper wrappers and bake for 15 to 20 minutes until the tops are golden. Transfer to a rack to cool completely before decorating.

TO MAKE THE FROSTING

Beat the confectioners’ sugar and butter together in a freestanding electric mixer with a paddle attachment on medium-slow speed until they come together and are well mixed. Turn the mixer up to a medium-high speed and continue beating for at least 5 minutes until light and fluffy. Add a little of the pink food coloring and mix well with a teaspoon until the desired color is reached. Spoon or pipe the icing on top of the cold cakes. Store in the fridge to cool.

TO CREATE THE HAT

Use a knife to carve one of the spare cupcakes into the mound of the hat. Place the shaped cake on top of a half-covered chocolate cookie. Meanwhile, melt the milk chocolate very gently over hot water. Then use a knife to coat the cupcake and the biscuit so they fuse together. Place in the fridge to cool.

FOR THE FINISHING TOUCHES

Use a sharp knife to cut sticks out of the chocolate bar to make the eyebrows, and cut the white chocolate buttons to make the eyes. Use a paintbrush to apply the black and red food coloring to paint the eyes as shown. To make the cigarette, cut a length of chocolate bar and apply melted white chocolate (made with the above technique) and the red sugar pearls to form the lit end. Take the cupcake out of the fridge and draw a line to form the mouth, using a paintbrush and the black food coloring. Using a moistened toothpick, apply the chocolate sprinkles to create the beard, and then insert the cigarette. Add the eyes and eyebrows and the hat from the fridge. Affix the yellow chocolate star to the blue hard-shelled candy and fasten it to the cupcake sleeve with dabs of melted chocolate.

Stand back and admire your work. And if all else fails, throw a punch.