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Elleanor
The once vibrant and lively journey now feels like traversing a vast, gray canvas, blurred and unrecognizable, cold and distant. Time, which used to fly by on this route, now stubbornly crawls, its hands barely moving. A metaphorical dagger seems lodged in my chest, its slow twist agonizing.
Even the comfort of my friend's lap, usually a haven of solace and strength, offers no warmth. An internal chill sends tremors through my limbs, my hands and feet tingling, perhaps from a heart that beats too faintly. My brain pounds relentlessly, and my swollen eyes ache as if besieged by a swarm of stinging bees.
The car veers off the main highway, onto a narrow dirt track. It rocks and sways, the whims of nature asserting their dominance. Marcus, our driver, reduces our speed, inadvertently intensifying my inner turmoil.
Upon reaching the reception, a brief stop for identification is made. A woman points Marcus towards our cabin destination, directing us down a long, muddy path made treacherous by the rain.
Approaching, the sight of police and fire department vehicles sends a chill down my spine. I disembark, feeling as if I'm watching myself in a tragic movie scene, where the reaper shows no mercy and the ending is devoid of joy. Each step toward the cabin feels like a countdown, a heartbeat ticking away to its inevitable conclusion.
In front of the quaint, old wooden building, a group of men form a semicircle. Their focus is on one in the center, presumably the team leader, who consults a paper, gestures, and issues instructions toward the forest.
As I approach them, Wook intercepts me. His face is marred with dirt, his eyes hollow and haunted. His physical distress is evident, but his eyes are like vast glaciers, betraying either a numbing pain or a deeper torment I dread to acknowledge.
"Noona," he whispers, his voice subdued and respectful. It's been ages since he last called me that, or even acted according to his shared cultural norms.
My body tightens, coils like a spring. A chilling breeze seems to whisper a warning in my ear. Silence reigns from my end, no trace of empathy for his gesture. Marcus and Mariana observe us, their silent communication speaking volumes.
"Wook," Marcus says, enveloping him in a comforting hug. Mariana gently strokes Wook's head. "What's the latest on the search?"
"There's no trace of hyung," Wook replies, turning to me and reaching for my left hand. Instinctively, I recoil from his touch, as if his fingers are thorns. His gaze intensifies, his irises expanding, reminding me of a predator ready to pounce. "I never imagined anything like this would happen to hyung... If I had known, I wouldn't have accepted the invitation."
"Of course. That goes without saying," I respond, my tone flat, masking the turmoil inside. Wook's shoulders sag slightly as a sly smile creeps onto his face. "Jae has always been the least of your concerns, hasn't he? Why pretend to care now?"
His eyes widen further, a bull preparing to charge, yet he never loses his composure. Instead, he silently dares me to challenge him.
"Elle?" Mariana's touch on my arm brings me back to reality. "I know tensions are high, but this isn't the way to handle it. They are brothers, after all..."
"That's exactly the point!" I retort, pulling away from her grasp. Marcus raises a hand, attempting to pacify his sister. "Mariana, please, let's stay calm. We're here to help, not make things worse."
I confront Wook, my voice sharpening. "What did you say to upset Jae that much? What lie did you spin this time?" Seizing the collar of his shirt, I shake him, but his expression doesn't change. Instead, there's a barely discernible, victorious smirk playing on his lips. "What have you done, Wook? What have you become? I swear, if anything has happened to Jae because of you..."
Marcus releases my left hand, then my right, wrapping his arms around me to pull me away from Wook. He turns to face me, gently wiping away the tears from my face, holding my shoulders with a firm yet caring touch.
"Elle, I know what you're feeling, but this isn't the right time. When they find Jae Young and everything settles down, you can have your discussion and clear up whatever issues you have. Right now, you both might say things that could lead to regrets later. Let's focus on finding Jae, okay?"
"Yes," I reply, my voice barely above a whisper. Marcus gives me a reassuring hug and, releasing me, gently rearranges my hair.
"Ready to go?" He asks, holding my hands for a moment.
I exhale deeply, close my eyes, and muster what little composure I have left. Letting go of his hands, I head towards the rescue team. The man I'd seen earlier giving instructions greets us.
"Are you family?"
Family. The word I've longed to hear in connection with Jae...
"Yes," Marcus answers on my behalf, tugging lightly at the sleeve of my pajama top.
"We're doing all we can. We won't stop until we find him," the man says, his gruff voice and salt-and-pepper mustache lending him an air of a comforting grandfather figure.
"When we were younger, we used to camp here," I said, and the man offers a warm smile. "We found a clearing about an hour's walk down the north trail."
"A clearing? That's not marked on our map. Are you sure about this?" the man asks.
"Absolutely," I affirm. "That place holds a lot of memories for us... It's been years since Jae was last here, but I'm sure that's where he went."
The rescue leader listens intently. "We have teams searching south along the riverbank, where they were fishing earlier, according to his brother. We've also dispatched teams near the dam and in the eastern and western sectors."
Marcus nods. "Thank you. We'll stay here, just in case he comes back on his own."
I stand there, feeling numb, as Marcus takes charge of the conversation. My thoughts are with Jae, wherever he may be, hoping against hope that we'll find him safe and sound.
“Please, search the north trail, I insist. You'll find the clearing I mentioned.”
I hold the man's hand, squeezing it tightly. Tears stream down my face as I plead. He sighs deeply and gently pats my hand.
“Alright. I'll send additional teams north. Please, try to stay calm and wait in the cabin. It's unsafe to wander—there could be landslides because of the rain.”
He nods, steps back, raises his arm to blow his whistle, and gestures decisively. The nearby searchers quickly assemble around him. He points to the map, gesturing and explaining routes into the woods; his team nods in understanding. After issuing their instructions, the teams split up and vanish among the trees.
––––––––
As darkness approaches, the groups return without any news. Why haven't they found him yet? Did they not follow the trail correctly? I know he's there...
The fading light on my phone's screen reminds me that time is running out. Unable to wait any longer, I grab a flashlight and a whistle from a box on the rescue table.
Mariana, Marcus, and Wook are deep in conversation on the other side of the area. I turn away and start toward the trail. After a few steps, I feel a strong tug on my arm, nearly pulling me to the ground.
“Where do you think you're going?” Mariana's wide eyes fix on me, filled with concern.
“To find Jae.”
“Elleanor, there are trained professionals searching for Jae Young. Do you really think going alone will help?”
“I know where he is,” I assert, my voice filled with determination.
She lets go of my arm, places her hands on her hips, and takes a deep, measured breath. Marcus and Wook join us, their expressions a mix of concern and confusion.
“Elle, it's not wise to go alone. It'll be dark soon. You could fall, hurt yourself, or even get lost,” Marcus says, his grip on my hand reassuring.
“I know this trail like the back of my hand, and I can’t wait any longer. He might still be alive,” I respond with urgency.
“I'll go with you. It’s my duty to help find my brother,” Wook interjects.
“Don’t even think about it.” I place my hand firmly on his shoulder. “You’re staying here with Mariana.”
“Elleanor, please! For goodness' sake, you’re not thinking straight!” Mariana steps between Wook and me. “Wook is our friend.”
“Regardless, I’d rather go alone,” I say, turning away.
“No, Elleanor, it’s too dangerous to go alone. I’ll come with you,” Marcus decides. “Mariana and Wook, stay here. If the rescue team finds Jae Young before us, use the signaler and we'll come back. If we take too long, you know what to do.”
Mariana, resigned, stomps her foot, causing the ground to sink slightly under her weight. “Fine.”
Wook follows Mari, clearly frustrated. I grab Marcus’s arm and lead him forward. As we walk, the scenes from my dream flood back, stirring a whirlwind of emotions. I feel dizzy but manage to hide it.
A thick mist reduces visibility, slowing our progress.
“Keep going, Elleanor!” Gael suddenly appears beside us. I startle at his sudden presence but quickly regain my composure and pick up the pace.
“Did it just get colder, or is it just me?” Marcus rubs his arms as he walks beside me. “It might get worse.”
“Don’t stop, Marcus, we’re close,” I urge, my voice steady despite the growing unease.
“How do you know for sure?” Marcus points the flashlight to the right, peering between the trees.
“Did you forget about my special talent?” I keep the light ahead of us.
“Is a wandering soul guiding you, by any chance?” he attempts to joke, despite the evident tension in his voice. Does Marcus fear ghosts? The thought momentarily lightens the mood.
“They don't appreciate being called that. And it’s not a soul; it's a reaper,” I clarify. He stops dead, turning to me, his face pale.
“Are you trying to scare me, Elle? Ghosts, and now a reaper? Are there any other supernatural beings I should know about?”
“It's best if you continue to ignore them, for your sanity’s sake.”
He blinks rapidly. I pull him back onto the trail, noticing his arm is stiff. Under different circumstances, I might find this amusing.
The scent of violets intensifies. I direct the flashlight to the left, stepping off the path to examine the trees. The ground shows signs of disturbance, as if leaves have been dragged. Marcus tries to hold me back.
“It’s this way,” I insist, waving the flashlight to emphasize the direction.
“I brought a signaler. I’ll use it.” I grasp his hand.
“Hold on, let’s be sure it’s not from some animal. Shine the light here while I check a few steps to the northwest.”
“Elleanor, we shouldn’t split up.”
“We’re not really separating. Just a few meters,” I reassure him, showing him the whistle. “If anything happens, follow the sound.”
I navigate through the trees, following the scent of Gael. I sweep the flashlight over the darker areas.
With each step, the scent strengthens. I pause and close my eyes, concentrating on the details from my dream. The ground opening, the noise... the tree! I raise the flashlight to the trunks, scanning them one by one until I find the mark: a heart carved into an old trunk. I rush towards it.
Just a few steps ahead, it feels like I'm passing through a curtain. My eyes squint slightly. My heart stops. My hands shoot to my face, my stomach churns, and I lose all my strength.
Isy's green hair sways in the breeze. Her hands rest on what appears to be a body covered in leaves, branches, various plants, and unfamiliar flowers. She repeatedly mumbles some kind of mantra; the sounds are foreign to me.
Gael stands by her side, his hand on her head, emitting a faint light that matches the color of his eyes. And in front of them is Jae’s ghost...
“Jae Young!”
He crosses over his own body, placing his warm hands on my shoulders. My head spins, as does everything around us. Seeing his body and soul separated sends me straight to the ground, on my knees.
I run my hand over his face, brushing away the leaves.
“Thank God you're here! Isy is almost out of strength.” Gael smiles. My eyes widen. How can he smile at a time like this?
“I'm smiling because you've arrived, Elleanor. Jae’s condition is dire—his breathing is weak, and his pulse is fading... but he's still alive.”
“Alive? How? He...” Once again, I'm overwhelmed by a flood of tears.
“The specter is separated from his body, but there remains a connection.” Isy stays motionless, her eyes closed. Gael looks at me calmly. “As I mentioned, his name isn't on the list; there's still time. Now it's your turn to act, dear.”
“Thank you, Gael.”
“I need to take Isy away. People won't understand someone so different—it's dangerous for her.” I nod in agreement. “As soon as I take her away, Young won't be able to breathe on his own for much longer.”
Before Gael departs with Isy, I wrap my arms around her, hugging her and thanking her mentally. Her floral scent intensifies, soothing me.
“She knows, dear.” Gael says. I attempt a smile, stretching my lips thinly.
He wraps her completely in his arms. The violet light around them intensifies until both vanish from sight. Exhausted, I blow the whistle with all my remaining energy and place my hands on Jae’s body, while his soul wraps his arms around me.
“Thank you for not giving up, Lia. Whatever happens from here on out, know that you’ve done everything you could. Don’t blame yourself.”
“Is this goodbye? Are you giving up on life, Park Jae Young?” I ask, blowing the whistle again and caressing his face.
“Aniyô!” Jae exclaims urgently. “No more wasting time.” He runs his fingers through my hair as the sounds of crushed leaves and snapped twigs fill the air. “They’re coming.”
“I’ll stay by your side,” I reply, my heart racing. “I won’t leave you for a second.” Jae kisses the top of my head just as Marcus arrives, lighting a flare and shooting it into the sky.
“You were right all along,” Marcus says, checking Jae’s pulse. “He’s still alive, Elle!” He hugs me tightly. “Everything’s going to be okay,” he murmurs as he rubs my arms, trying to warm me.
We blow our whistles nonstop until the rescue teams arrive. Jae grips my hand firmly, the way he used to when I was scared. The rescuers carefully immobilize his injured leg and lift him onto a stretcher with practiced precision. They hurry down the trail as I struggle to keep pace with my shaky legs.
Once they load Jae into the rescue vehicle, I climb in without waiting for permission.
“Ma'am, you can’t ride in here. He’s badly injured,” the medic warns, pointing to the door. I take her hand and gently lower it, asserting my determination.
“I promised to stay with him the whole time,” I explain firmly. “These might be his last moments, and I won’t let him be alone.” The chief and other rescuers signal the medic to let me stay, and the doors close behind us.
The loud sirens and engine roar drown out the night’s silence as they begin treatment procedures. I hold Jae’s hand tightly, closing my eyes and focusing solely on my breath, a whirlwind of complex emotions threatening to overtake me.