The bus stops in some sort of bay. The door opens. And we’re up and moving. Wizard’s way ahead of me. We get led into this underground area where we walk down a long hallway that trips me out cuz it’s almost like a school. It’s got painted murals everywhere around us, all saying cheesy stuff like County of L.A. this and that. Everybody’s looking at them till they yell at us to keep our eyes front. They don’t have to yell. Nobody’s saying anything or acting weird, not even the dude I’m chained up with.
They take us thru a bunch more hallways. That’s got me feeling dizzy somehow. Almost like somebody made the place this way just to confuse us or something. And I don’t even know where we’re supposed to be going till the lead deputy opens up this white door with a little window in it and tells us all to go inside.
We get our cuffs unlocked at the door before we go in. One by one.
Inside, it’s not like how I pictured from movies. It’s not bars or thick-ass glass. It’s just a room. Off-white walls with a grayish yellow to them. The floor looks like concrete when it gets wet. Off in the corner there’s a toilet with a little half block of wall next to it, for some privacy. You can still see whoever is sitting on there tho. The top half.
I see Wizard and make a move to where he’s at. He’s got his back to the wall. And he makes some dude move so I can do the same.
He looks happy to see me. Tells me I did good with the crazy guy I had to hit. And I guess he was worried about me more than I thought. That makes me feel grateful and happy too. The best I felt since before the first cuffs went on. For real.
We keep it close so we can talk low and quick. Side by side. I let him know how Montero tried to play me.
“Told you, homeboy.” Wizard smiles like he knows the game. “But listen, when you get in with your lawyer make sure they don’t separate the cases.”
I say, “What’s that mean?”
“It means me and you together, homeboy. Riding.”
“Same trial?”
“Same trial, same everything.”
That’s not sounding right to me.
Cuz if he shot Scrappy with me not even there, it seems like this kind of shit hurts me to help him.
I get it, I guess. It’s a power move on his part. A way to try to get out of this.
And since I’m lower on the totem pole, that’s just how it goes.
But it don’t feel right.
It makes me feel … I don’t know. Bad. Bad and sad at the same time.
Like, I thought he fucking cared about me, you know? I thought we were boys and he’d get me out of this if he could …
But maybe this is him just playing me for angles. And even tho I seen it coming, I still got to let it happen.
I got to stand up and take it.
And it’s been so long with me being quiet that Wizard’s looking at me to see if he has to explain it again.
“Okay,” I say. “I thought that’s how it was gonna be, anyways.”
It’s not really a choice. I know that.
If I back out on Wizard now, he won’t have my back in here. And that shit’s a no-brainer.
Cuz everybody in jail needs people looking out for them, even if they’re really just looking out for themselves first.
“Good, homes,” Wizard says as he looks over the other fools in the cell. “Real good.”
He has me watch people, start trying to read who’s what. From where. I also look for anybody from Scrappy’s crew. I don’t see anybody. There might be a few in the jail part. Wizard keeps his eye out for big dogs, if they came for a trial date down here or something. He doesn’t see anybody.
Everything’s too much. The smell most of all. All these dudes sweating, farting, breathing. Some of them junkies that ain’t showered or even worn deodorant in forever. It’s the worst smell I ever smelled. I got to act like it ain’t a big deal tho.
This place is a whole different beast to the streets. You can always hole up out there. Be alone. But in here? There’s nowhere to go but into people. Into their space. With your eyes. With your body.
And it feels like anything can pop off at any time. It has a wild feeling to it.
Wizard’s watching my face, reading me.
“You’re getting that zoo feeling, huh?” Wizard’s got his shirt collar up over his nose, bandito-style. “Everybody’s trying to figure which animal is which. Who’s about to get eaten. Who to stay the fuck away from.”
The door goes and the guards tell us to step back. More bodies come in. They don’t take any out. We look at them. Three black guys. Two white. They look for space to stand in. They don’t even move for the benches. There’s too many of us in here now. Forty, maybe. Forty-five? Only one of them is meeting stares with some cold-ass eyes.
“Oh shit.” Wizard’s raising his voice next to me. “Is that Big Dev or what?”
Bodies part as Wizard moves toward the biggest of the new black ones in here, the one glaring at fools.
I follow. I watch Wizard’s back all the way. I see some dudes from the bus looking at us. They’re nodding at me cuz they know what I did with my elbow.
When we get up close, Big Dev recognizes Wizard. “Yo, what the fuck, Wizard? Haven’t seen your ass since Chino!”
And Wizard says, “What’s up, my nigga?”
They do one of them half hugs and they’re all smiling.
This room tho?
Shit! It got cold as hell when Wizard dropped nigga in here.
And I feel eyes on me now. On us.
I swear I even feel fists getting balled up, ready to get thrown.
And I’m definitely wishing I had my back to a wall right now. Not out in the middle of the room with bodies on every side of me.
Big Dev knows it too.
“Easy, y’all,” he says, and he’s swinging his eyes around at everybody. “This fool’s South Central, and if you mad, then you obviously ain’t from where we from. It’s how we fuckin talk. And anybody tryna get at this motherfucker in here has to get at me first, just so you know who to start with.”
Wizard smiles at that. I can tell he’s pushing buttons on purpose.
He knows what he can get away with. And this is him showing power. Big fucking power. The kind nobody wants to step to.
And I’m getting now how I made the right decision not to separate cases. Cuz there’s a lot worse ways to come into County Jail than on Wizard’s hip.
I’m grateful for that as I’m looking around to see if anyone’s wanting to test. Nobody does tho. Mainly cuz there’s a new problem …
One of these hype-ass junkies is on the only toilet, trying to hide himself behind that little half wall. You can still see his shoulders and his face tho. So everybody knows the dude putting out the monkey-house stink that’s taking over the whole room.
And it’s about to cause a riot too.
Somebody shouts, “¡Aguas, aguas, aguas!”
Cuz he wants him to add water.
Another dude says, “Courtesy flushes, fool. Drop one, flush one! Fuck!”
And it’s Big Dev that’s saying, “Don’t you fuckin know how to do time, bitch? You ain’t alone in here!”
And that one hits me. Cuz I’m thinking, Yeah, I definitely ain’t alone in here.
Nobody is.