part0017

Before diving into specific strategies and techniques that will propel us forward in an AF life, there are several core concepts that I’d like to cover in this chapter first. Beginning this journey without a basic understanding of the fundamentals would be like going down a double black diamond on the first day of skiing. I’m sure it’s been done, and it can probably be seen on YouTube, but I imagine the outcome isn’t pretty. I encourage you to revisit these foundational pillars with frequency throughout your journey because you’ll find that some have new meanings when you’re at different points in your journey. You’re a different person at 30 days alcohol free than you are at day 1. Reading this chapter again after new neural circuits have been built will shine light on an idea from a different angle. Some of these are well known concepts that the whole of the recovery community will agree upon and some are not. Some of these approaches are not mainstream but are paramount. These concepts will be the roots of your recovery and the better your grasp of them, the sturdier the foundation will be .

I once heard you could combine the 100 most potent medicines from the west with the 100 most potent medicines from the east and you still wouldn’t have the power of Awareness. Awareness will be your number one ally throughout this journey, and I want you to be aware of your thinking as much as you can. As I mentioned before, if we get the thinking under control and depart from full identification with the thinking mind, then this has the power to transmute the bulk of suffering we experience in life, including addiction. Now, hitting the ‘off’ button on the thinking mind is a TALL order and takes loads of practice, so right now, all I want you to do is start building awareness of your thoughts. Without judgment and attachment, become aware of thoughts as they enter. Do your absolute best not to label them as good or bad; just let them be. We want to start distancing ourselves from those 60,000-70,000 thoughts per day that mostly contain energetic bonds with the past. Imagine you’re flying in an airplane at 35,000 feet and your thoughts are the cars, farm fields, trains, lakes and mountains below. Observe them, but don’t jump out of the airplane and attach yourself to a specific one. If you see something out the airplane window you don’t like, don’t ignore it or turn your gaze. Simply observe it, and let it be.

Through this awareness of thought, with non-attachment, as we begin to identify less and less with the thinking mind, a space, a sense of calm, begins to emerge in the body and mind. Awareness is a muscle and it will take time to strengthen. Don’t get frustrated if this doesn’t happen in your first seven days away from alcohol, it takes time and practice. In addition, it’s damn near impossible to build this awareness while doing multiple things at once so please stop multitasking. In fact, the only multitasking I want you to do while reading this book and in life, is to be aware of your thinking while doing a single task. In addition to being aware of thoughts, observe the body’s reactions when certain thoughts emerge. Again, don’t label these reactions as comfortable, uncomfortable, blissful or painful—just observe.

When you experience a craving, or find yourself in a difficult life situation, become aware of a specific location in the body where the discomfort lives. At this moment, all we need to do is say, “Why, hello there, uncomfortable knot the size of an Easter egg in my solar plexus.” These energetic vortexes in the body are the body’s stored reactions to the mind. If gaps or space are created around these energetic patterns, which is done by not adding more thoughts (energy) to them, they will begin to dissipate and transmute themselves on their own, as in, you don’t have to think yourself out of uncomfortable emotions.

On this AF journey, you may have found things don’t necessarily happen in a practical order. As awareness builds around thought, and we identify less with roles, identities, and personas, we begin to recognize who we aren’t. It’s after we learn who we aren’t that the true self emerges. We must first observe which road we don’t want to go down before we can see what path we do want to follow. As awareness builds, blind spots reveal themselves and you’ll know where to go next on this journey. You might suddenly realize you’re judging everyone and everything—especially yourself. You may find yourself being extra defensive in a specific scenario. You may observe that the mind runs completely unchecked during certain activities. Once you become aware of these trends, they will no longer feel natural since you’re beginning to see the source of dysfunction. Prolonged intense awareness of your thoughts, coupled with time, will lead to a dramatic improvement in life.

I heard an interviewee on the podcast say that quitting drinking can be the one domino that knocks all the others down. I love this line and fully agree. However, imagine a straight line of dominos that spans the distance of a basketball court. If we quit drinking, we tip over the domino at half court. Cool, but that still leaves the other half of the dominos standing. If we are able to address the protective personality, ego and the thinking mind (we start through awareness), we have the ability to knock ALL the dominos down .