Alex
The shrill shrieking sound of a hadedah flying circles above their thorn tree woke them. Alex despised those birds. It was quite possibly the single most annoying, shrieking sound she had ever heard. It was enough to give anyone a bad start to the day. She looked down at where several hadedahs and a couple of vultures wrestled over Jelani's remains that were left by the lions' attack the night before. It was nauseating to watch, knowing that it was an ill-deserving human they were fighting over. Alex was still in denial over his death. Jelani always protected her and now, she failed hopelessly in protecting him. The only genuine friend she'd ever had, and she failed him miserably. She had no idea how she was supposed to tell his father what had happened.
The thorny branches from the tree left her legs achy and sore to the point where she couldn't feel her coccyx anymore. The sun was just about up and cast a bright orange backdrop against the horizon. Stiff body and all, she got into a standing position to stretch and take it all in. In light of her sorrow and anguish, the landscape was amazingly beautiful, and considering the circumstances, she somehow managed to get a couple of hours' sleep.
But her head still hurt. And then, while her thoughts trailed and the sun rose higher, her eyes settled beyond the dry grasslands.
"Quinn! Wake up! I see it! The river, I see it!"
She climbed higher in the tree just to be certain her eyes weren't deceiving her. After all, she was severely dehydrated and still woozy from her meds but this was no mirage or hallucination.
"Quinn! Get up!"
How Sam managed to sleep so soundly on a branch filled with thorns was beyond her, so she called again, poking his shoulder with her foot.
"QUINN!"
"What's the commotion about, Alex? I usually like my cup of coffee first."
"So funny, Quinn. Look, there's the river! I can't believe it. We're just about there. We couldn't be closer. How could this have happened, Quinn? We should have walked faster yesterday, then… perhaps Jelani might have still been alive."
Alex cried for the first time since the incident. She never cried, ever. Crying was a weakness and she didn't like baring her soul. But right there, in the moment of exhaustion and hopelessness, years of buried emotions and heartache soaked the earth below as her tears kept flowing. The stress of having left her home, facing her disease, and going after her father who was still missing, topped by the death of her dearest friend, was entirely too much for her to keep inside.
Quinn got up behind her, and, for the first time, Alex noted the scratches all over his face. They had to climb the tree so quickly to escape the lions that the hazardous thorns were the last thing on their minds.
"I'm so sorry, Alex. I know he meant a lot to you but please rest in knowing that Jelani's injuries were quite severe. Even if we had gotten him to a hospital or the village, for that matter, immediately after the accident, he might not have made it either way. He had excessive internal bleeding."
"But at least his father and the tribe could have said their goodbyes and they would have had a body to bury. That, right over there by the river, is his village. I cannot believe how close we are, Quinn. Now, I have to go there with not only the sad news that he is never coming back, but also somehow explain where his body is. How do I tell his father that lions devoured his son? And that it happened as much as in their back yard. It is simply too sickening for words."
"Alex, I'll help you, okay? Delivering bad tidings to a family is something I've done many times before. It's not my first time. Trust me, I've had my fair share. It will be okay, I promise."
His comment enticed her to react but she suppressed the urge to throw a rock at him. How could anything make it okay? It would never be okay.
"Do you think the lions are gone or are they still hanging about?" he asked, already moving on from the topic.
She had no more fight left in her. Alex wiped her eyes and searched the bushes for the lions or signs of any other predators lurking about.
"I can't see any. It's possible the animals left for the watering hole already after they had their fill last night."
Even saying it repulsed her.
"Do you think it's safe for us to climb down then?" Quinn asked, desperate to distract her from her thoughts.
"Well, it isn't as if we have a choice in the matter, do we? We have to take the risk and hope for the best."
"Come on then. Let's get down. It doesn't seem that far so let's get on with it. I don't think I can last another night in a tree."
But Alex couldn't let go of the fact that she had to give the bad news to the village when they got there. Sam's words were little consolation. This was not one of his patients whom he'd never see again. African tribes took death very seriously and empty words weren't going to be enough.
The chief would insist on knowing the truth and Alex knew the truth would not be easy to convey. Especially when she hadn't come to terms with it herself yet either. There was no sugar-coating it. She'd have to tell it as it was.
Riled up with the monologue in her head, she jumped the last bit from the tree and almost landed on what looked like a piece of Jelani's leg. The bile pushed up into her throat. If she had a full meal in her stomach it would have been out already. Lions were once majestic creatures to her. Not anymore. She stormed off in the direction of the river not looking to see if Sam was behind her. She just needed to get out of there. All she felt in that moment was anger. And a bucket load of guilt.
She dealt with her emotions far better in solitude. Locked up at her home. It was easier to sweep it under the rug and lock it down forever. She didn't want a stranger around her and she didn't want to deal with this. But deep down, she realized, much to her dismay, that her life was nothing like it was before. Everything had changed.
"Hey, Alex, wait up!"
She slowed down just enough to see that Sam was still trying to get down from the tree. He somehow managed to get himself stuck in the thorns. She was so absorbed with herself that she didn't even think he might be dealing with life too. She knew it wasn't his fault. He had been nothing but kind and supportive from the moment they met. In that moment, she discovered that Sam Quinn was the very definition of a true friend.
"Go easy on me, Alex. If you haven't gathered, I'm not exactly the Bear Grylls kind. Have you forgotten you also still have a head wound and by now, you are bound to be severely dehydrated? Let's just take a slow and steady walk, okay?"
He always placed her needs ahead of his. The fact that he was bleeding from the thorn scratches on his head wasn't even a consideration for him. As long as she was okay then all was dandy.
And he was right. Again, of course. She was a little dizzy, and she did need to take it easy.
As the Savannah glowed under the orange sunrise, Alex and Sam walked in silence. Her medical bracelet glistened in the morning sun. Alex Hunt – Agoraphobic. It didn't ring true anymore. Something had changed right there in the African Savannah.
"I think you've come a long way with your disease, Alex. Fine, your emotions are a bit volatile still but look at yourself. You are out here in the open grassland in the middle of Africa. You fought off lions. Twice! If that doesn't say everything about your inner strength to overcome, then I don't know what will."
Sam's words surprised her. He always knew exactly what she was thinking. How that was possible she didn't know, but she wasn't sure she wanted him inside her head. She ignored his praise and instead, changed the topic.
"We should be there in about twenty minutes or so. It's an easy walk."
It wasn't long before Alex heard the tribal whistle from a nearby tree. She recognized it in an instant and just about jumped for joy. With her hands clenched and positioned in front of her mouth, she answered back with the same whistle indicating that they were friendlies. Sam's admiration for her skill made her smile within. She felt empowered and silently vowed she would let him in, just a little. There was a whole lot about the real her he didn't know yet.
A watchman startled them as he jumped out from a tree about five meters in front of them. Alex didn't recognize him but she answered him in Swahili and followed him to the village.
It was great to be back in the village again. Within minutes women and children surrounded them, and Alex rejoiced in seeing a few familiar faces. They had made it. But when the welcoming committee settled down, the reality of her father's kidnapping was evident. A number of the bomas were burned to the ground and under repair by the women. There was enough evidence of the callous attack by the rebels and the damage they had done. Burning the tribal houses was undeniably part of the plan to warn them about whom they were dealing with and that they had meant war.
From the corner of her eye, Alex spotted Jelani's father who was in hot pursuit to welcome them home.
"Lakicia, welcome my child. We expected you days ago. It has been too long since we have had the pleasure of welcoming you back to our village. I'm sorry it is not under more pleasant circumstances but my men will not stop until we find your father."
Alex felt the familiar constricting feeling around her throat knowing the chief had no idea just how dire the circumstances really were. Her father, at least, God willing, was still alive somewhere, unlike his son. The man had grieved the loss of his wife already and now his only son would never return to him again.
His firm embrace provided little comfort as Alex dreaded giving him the news.
"Come, Lakicia. You need water and food." The chief signaled to some of the women who hurriedly set out clay jugs of fresh water and a display of fresh fruit in front of them.
"Are you okay? What happened to you? Jelani left days ago to fetch you at the airport. I don't understand. Did you not find him waiting for you?"
It was only then that the chief paused to size Sam up and down and Alex found great relief in the opportunity to delay her answer to his question.
"Forgive me, Chief," she said as she swallowed a large chunk of sweet melon halfway through her sentence to buy even more time. She was sick to her stomach and not much in the mood to eat, but the fruit was a welcome excuse to occupy her mouth and prevent her from having to speak.
"This is Sam Quinn. He is from the university. He has come to help me find my father."
And babysit, she added in her head.
"Welcome to our village, Sam Quinn."
The chief's blank expression hinted at what was to come next as his eyes searched the village for Jelani.
Alex, on the other hand, searched Sam's eyes, silently pleading for a way out. Regardless of how hard she tried, she simply couldn't get the words out and forced another piece of fruit down instead. It was inevitable though. She had to say what needed to be said.
"Chief, uh…” she stopped to clear her throat then continued. “I'm afraid I have some devastating news," she stumbled through. In her mind, she cursed Sam for not jumping in and coming to her aid as he had promised.
The chief's eyes held hers firmly. As if he already knew the very thing she was about to say, but he didn't flinch nor speak. He just sat there, hands on knees, waiting for Alex to talk. She was convinced he was mentally preparing himself in advance for what was to come as she bit at her thumbnail and tried again.
"I… “ She struggled to find the words. “Jelani… well…"
Desperately she searched her mind for the right words to tell the chief that his only son was devoured and ripped to shreds by a pack of lions.
"Chief, forgive me for speaking out of turn, but Alex is finding it a challenge to inform you. There was an accident. The Jeep lost traction on the road on our way here and we collided with a tree. Your son, Jelani, was seriously injured in the accident. We tried our best to manage his injuries, but he developed a critical fever and fell into a coma. Considering the confined restraints of medical care, there was nothing we could do for him. It pains me to inform you that your son subsequently died from extensive injuries to his abdomen. He was a fearless man and a true warrior right until the end. I am truly sorry for your loss."
While Sam perfectly executed the bad news, Alex sat in silent awe. That did sound a lot better than the version she was hopelessly preparing in her mind. So effortless yet with the utmost warmth and tenderness in his voice and eyes. Even though he didn't mention anything about the lions, he conveyed the exact sequence of the events that led up to Jelani's death. The chief's grim look said he didn't need to know the rest. How it happened wouldn't change that his son was dead. But it still didn't explain where his body was.
"I assume, as is customary, that you probably want a traditional river burial and we tried carrying him for a very long time but, ahem…" Alex cleared her throat again and Sam cut in.
"Circumstances prevented us from carrying him over such a huge distance. We took it upon ourselves and buried him under a tall, strong tree and gave him a small ceremony in his honor."
Sam came to her rescue again even though it wasn't entirely the truth. Somehow, though she didn't agree with lying, Alex knew the details wouldn't benefit anyone.
And with that, the chief seemingly heard enough as his elders gathered around him in consult. If they didn't accept their story as the truth, they could be rejected from the tribe, or at worst, put to death. It felt like an eternity before the chief finally spoke.
"Thank you, Lakicia, Mr. Quinn. We will hold a ceremony in my son's honor tonight as we celebrate his life and submit his spirit to the gods."
When the chief disappeared into his boma without speaking another word, Alex sat back, angry and confused over the lack of emotion Jelani's father displayed.
"That's it? That's all he has to say after losing his only son? Why am I the only one who is angry here?"
"People deal with death differently, Alex. Some make it a public display, and others do it in solitude. In the end, death is no man's friend and he now has the task of delivering the news to Jelani's wife and child. I'm assuming that's who just followed him in?"
Alex covered her face with her hands and turned toward Sam, burying her head in the nook between his neck and shoulder. "Oh no, you're right, that's Jelani's wife and his little girl. I forgot all about them. Oh, this is unbearable."
"I am so sorry that it has come to this, Alex. It is not easy losing someone you care for and far harder having to deliver the news to their loved ones. Tonight we will mourn with them and build up our strength. Tomorrow we need to face the new day and find your father."
Alex barely knew Sam, but the longer she spent time with him, the more she wanted to learn about him. She quietly thanked Professor Keating for his apt selection. Sitting there with him made her feel safe. Like she didn't have to worry about making things work on her own anymore. She shared her burden, and he shared his strength. Something told her they would be friends for years to come.
The evening, much to her surprise, was a jubilant and festive affair. It was entirely the opposite of the small family memorial they had for her mother. Instead, the tribe prepared a feast fit for a king and dressed up in strikingly decorated tribal wear. It was colorful and cheery, filled with music and dance as the entire village came together and celebrated Jelani's life rather than his death. All evening, not one single tear lay on anyone's cheek, not even his wife's.
"Have you ever seen a funeral this happy? I mean it's an amazing way to pay your last respects, isn't it?" Sam said.
"For sure. I mean if you think about it, we throw parties when babies are born so why shouldn't we throw a party when someone close to us goes off to a better place? It's just the sadness we don't deal with so well. The fact that you know, while you are partying away the night, they are not at the party with you nor would you ever see them again."
"Yeah, but we are rather selfish then, aren't we? We think of our sadness and loss first before we think of where they might be. Have you ever thought that they might be happier in heaven than on earth?" Sam asked.
His question silenced her tongue. She wasn't even sure how to answer him.
"Do you mean you believe there is a heaven?"
"Don't you?"
"Not sure, I've never really thought of it much. I mean, I guess your spirit has to go somewhere right?"
"So after your mother died, did you not sense or feel her with you at times?"
"Perhaps yes, sometimes. What I mean is that I don't know for sure if it was my mother or just my imagination."
"I am a man of science, Alex, and let me tell you what I have learned over my years of being a physician having to watch people die before my eyes. I see some with tormented looks in their eyes just before they cross over, and then I know they have not found peace on earth to move over to the other side. Then others die with a smile on their face. Those are the ones who go to heaven. And I would far rather go to heaven than to hell. So yes, I believe in heaven and hell. If I don't, then what else is there to believe in?"
Faith was a troubling concept for Alex. She remembered how her mother told her the very same thing Sam just did some time back. 'Life is not worth living without faith,' she used to say. Perhaps this man, Sam Quinn, was sent from the very heaven they believed in, an angel in human embodiment. Someone to rescue her from herself.
Alex fiddled with the flower that one of the little ones placed in her hair when they first arrived. She pondered whether Sam was her soulmate and if he was the very one whose sentences she would finish. What if he was the one her mother always said she would meet someday and stay with for the rest of her life?
That last thought scared her. A lifetime with someone was something she was not prepared to do. But beyond putting up with their idiosyncrasies for life, he had to put up with an agoraphobic wife. No man would ever want that.
"We should get some sleep, Alex. We need our strength to find your father before…"
Sam didn't finish his sentence, but Alex knew all too well what he was about to say.