Still inside of the factory, I waited a few feet away from Timothy as he recited his statement to Officer Nottingham. Over and over again he said that it was his fault, that he should be held responsible.
His determination to take the blame for Billy’s accident was tied to the guilt he felt for the fall that paralyzed Aaron from the waist down. Anytime Aaron joked about being confined to his wheelchair, sadness washed over Timothy’s face. Aaron forgave his best friend years ago, but I didn’t believe that Timothy ever forgave himself for what happened. The two had been working on a carpentry project on an upper floor balcony. Timothy, who was the expert carpenter of the two, told Aaron he had built the balcony wrong and that it would not hold. Aaron would not agree, and the two argued. The argument ended when Timothy dared Aaron to jump on the balcony to prove its sturdiness. Aaron did and fell twelve feet to the hard ground breaking his back.
Timothy wasn’t the only one unable to forgive himself over the accident. Deacon Sutter, Aaron’s father, was unable to forgive Timothy as well. Timothy believed all of the deacon’s animosity toward the Troyer family could be tied back to this one event. Billy’s fall packed more guilt onto his shoulders.
The ambulance—with sirens blaring, lights flashing, and Billy secured inside—was on its way to the community hospital in Mount Vernon. If it turned out that Billy’s injuries were more serious, like the broken back Timothy believed, he would be transported to a hospital in Columbus.
Officer Nottingham replaced the cap of his ballpoint pen. “Okay. I think that’s all I need to write the report.”
“Chief Rose doesn’t want to talk to us again?” My voice was hopeful. I didn’t want to be on the police chief’s bad side.
Nottingham pursed his lips as he glanced over to Chief Rose who picked through the scene with a metal rod. “No. And my advice would be to leave her be for a few days. She’s not happy with either of you.”
We found Danny outside of the factory holding onto Mabel’s leash. He handed it to Timothy. “I thought she should move around a bit. She was barking her head off when the cops arrived.”
Mabel leaned her body against Timothy’s leg as if she knew her master needed comforting. “Thanks,” Timothy said to Danny. “I’ll see you back at the house after I take Chloe home.”
We rode in silence back to Young’s so I could collect my car. Every time I opened my mouth to ask Timothy how he was, I thought better of it.
He turned into the parking lot, and all the lights were on inside the restaurant.
“Do you want to come over for dinner? We have a ton of food left from Becky’s Christmas party,” I said.
He shook his head.
“Okay. Good night.”
He reached across the bench seat and squeezed my wrist. “You know I’m not mad at you, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I said, knowing my lack of conviction would leave him unconvinced. Timothy smiled a little. He heard the doubt in my voice too.
“Seeing Billy fall like that brought back a lot of bad memories. Memories I thought that I had already dealt with.”
“You know Aaron doesn’t blame you for what happened.”
“Yes, I know, but I do.” He squeezed my wrist again. “That’s something I need to work out with Gott.”
Timothy’s comment made me think of my own personal demons: my mother’s death and my relationship with my father. If I didn’t deal with them, would they floor me like Timothy’s seemed to do? “I wish I could help you.”
“You already have. More than you’ll ever know.”
I kissed his cheek and patted Mabel good-bye before climbing out of the truck.
When I turned the Bug in the Quills’ driveway, I saw Becky and Tanisha move back and forth in front of the windows. Grandfather Zook must have brought Tanisha home from the Troyer farm. I was relieved. I didn’t want to go to the farm and answer the many questions the family must have.
In the living room, I found Tanisha and Becky twirling around the room to “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” Apparently, neither of them cared that Christmas was technically over.
Tanisha stopped. “Chloe, you’re home. Finally. What took so long?”
Becky’s straight white-blonde hair swung around her face as she spun around the couch. It had been cut to shoulder length.
“Becky, what happened to your hair?” I demanded.
She froze. “You don’t like it?” She touched the back of her head self-consciously.
“I—I—you cut your hair.”
Becky dropped her hand. “I told you that I wanted to. You said I should.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t say that you should. I said that it was up to you.”
She placed her hands on her hips. “So I made my decision. I told Tanisha about it, and she volunteered to do it.”
Tee’s brow furrowed. “What’s the big deal? She already wears jeans and makeup.”
“I know, but this is permanent. What will your parents say?”
Becky face flushed red. “It doesn’t matter what my parents think. This is my hair.”
“But you can’t take it back,” I said.
She stared me down. “Who says that I want to? Do you want me to go back to the Amish?”
“No, of course not.”
Becky crossed her arms in front of her. “Then what does it matter?”
I felt sick. “What about Aaron?”
Becky’s mouth fell open. “What about him?”
I removed my coat. “I thought you cared for him.”
“I do,” she said slowly. “More than you know.”
“He will have to leave the Amish to be with you. He will be shunned.”
“Chloe, you don’t have to tell me how the Amish world works. You think just because you’re dating my brother—who’s not even Amish anymore—makes you an expert.”
“No, I didn’t say that.” Her words landed like a slap across my face.
She scowled at me. “You don’t know how hard this is for me.”
I placed a hand to my throbbing forehead. I was too tired for this conversation. I could barely think straight.
“I can’t be who he needs me to be. I told you that.” Her voice had pitched up an octave.
My heart ached when I thought about what Aaron would suffer. “You need to tell him.”
“Don’t tell me what to do. You’re not my sister.”
I lowered my voice. “I know that, Becky.”
She dropped her arms by her side and looked away. “I’m going to bed. I have to be at the restaurant early tomorrow. It’s my turn to bake the pies.” Then she turned and stomped out of the room.
I fell onto the couch. It was the first fight that I’d had with Becky. After my emotional day with Timothy and Billy, this was the last thing I needed. I narrowed my eyes. “Tee, I can’t believe that you cut her hair without checking with me first.”
Tanisha reared back. “Asking you first? Why would I have to ask you first? She’s an adult.”
“You don’t understand what a big deal this is for an Amish girl.”
“And you do?” Tanisha folded her arm. “Chloe, it’s just hair. Hair will grow back.”
I thought of the young women who had their hair cut through the spree of Amish haircutting a month ago. It wasn’t just hair to them. They would give anything for it to have never been cut in the first place. “You don’t understand.”
“Like you do? Chloe, I think Becky is right. You aren’t an Amish expert.”
I sucked in air. When I didn’t respond, Tanisha said, “I’m going home tomorrow as planned. I will see you in the morning. I promise not to cut anymore hair while I’m here.”
I let my head fall back onto the couch. “Tee, I’m sorry. I’ve had . . .” I let my voice trail off because I spoke to an empty room.