WANING MOON

Let it hurt then let it go

The waning Moon is the time to weed out anything that isn’t working for you, such as any limiting beliefs, relationships or situations. Work with this Moon phase to declutter and create space for more of what you truly want.

Cord-cutting Ritual

If you’ve been trying to move forward but someone or something keeps dragging you back, this ritual may help you release yourself from the attachment. It can be used for cutting the cord and letting go of an ex, a frenemy, situations from your past, comparisons, limiting beliefs or behaviours, so that you can feel lighter and be free.

You need to do this ritual only once for a specific situation; even if you don’t notice immediate results, trust that the healing is in action. When we repeatedly do a cord-cutting ritual because we think it isn’t working, we’re actually reinforcing the belief that the connection is still there, which is the last thing you want if you’re trying to detach. Trust the process.

You will need:

• A large crystal point (I recommend clear quartz, black obsidian or rose quartz)
• Rosemary or lavender essential oil

What to do:

• Create a sacred space (see page 17) and make sure you won’t be disturbed.
• Sit comfortably, and close your eyes. Take three slow, deep breaths to support you to bring your attention to the present moment. Spend some time in silence: whenever your thoughts wander, observe your breath.
• Take some deep breaths, and as you breathe in, visualize yourself calling back your power from the person, situation or limiting belief. As you exhale send back the energy you’ve been holding on to that doesn’t belong to you.
• When you feel embodied, say (aloud or in your mind), ‘I forgive you. I release you so that we can be free.’
• Pick up the crystal and hold it in your left hand. Visualize the crystal being absorbed into your body ‒ you could imagine white light moving in through your left hand, up your arm and filling you from the soles of your feet to the top of your head. Clear quartz represents new beginnings, clarity and purification, and it’s replacing what you’ve just released. Soak up this energy for as long as you want to.
• When you feel as if you’ve taken what you need from the crystal, place it in front of you or on your altar.
• Drip one or two drops of rosemary or lavender essential oil into your hand. Rub your palms together, then hold them in front of your face and inhale deeply, breathing in the fragrance of the oil and exhaling slowly. Next, place your hands over your chest, inhale deeply and connect with your heart, then exhale slowly. Move your hands down and place them over your abdomen, just above your navel, inhale deeply and connect with your solar plexus chakra. Exhale slowly.
• Bring your hands to rest in your lap.
• Take one more slow, deep breath. Begin to move your body: rotate your neck, stretch your arms into the air, then wrap them around your body to give yourself a hug.
• When you’re ready, open your eyes and reconnect with your surroundings.
• Before you carry on with your day, you could spend some time journalling or pull an oracle card for guidance.

Space-clearing Ritual

Think of the way that a fragrance can awaken your senses. Choose a candle that inspires you in some way. When you use candles in rituals, the flame ignites your intention and symbolizes transformation. It can be a simple act that opens you to new perspectives, experiences and opportunities. Decide which room to use to perform the ritual: it could be your bedroom if you’re focusing on relationships and intimacy, your workspace for business goals, your bathroom or dressing-table for body positivity, wherever you feel called to make some magic happen.

You will need:

• A charcoal disc
• A small pair of tongs
• A lighter or matches
• Heatproof bowl or cauldron
• A candle: you can use any type, even a simple tealight. For special occasions, I like to treat myself to a candle that has a specific meaning behind it, or a scent that could add some power to my intention, like rose for love, lavender for calm, rosemary for focus, eucalyptus for new beginnings, or a smell that instantly reminds me of somewhere exotic
• Dried bay leaf, cardamom, mint or rosemary
• Alternative option for suggested herbs: White Sage, Palo Santo or sweetgrass, if you have it, but please read page 150 on sustainability
• A song that represents the energy you want to bring into your room

What to do:

• Begin by cleaning, decluttering and tidying your space.
• Dispose of any old candles from this area. If they can be recycled, then please do so. I always try to use up old candles before I do this so that they aren’t wasted, or put them somewhere else to be used at another time. Cleaning the space and removing the old candles represents creating space for a new beginning.
• If you have dried herbs, White Sage, Palo Santo or incense, you can use them to smoke-cleanse the area to reset the energy (see page 149). Open the windows and doors so that the energy you’re casting out has an exit. You can also drift the smoke over your body to cleanse your energy. As you do this, say to yourself, ‘I release any energy that doesn’t serve me or belong here.’
• Light your candle and say to yourself, ‘May this be a safe and sacred space filled with love/joy/inspiration/passion/creativity/trust/laughter/peace/harmony.’
• Choose your favourite song or a playlist that invokes the feelings you want for the space; press play and turn up the volume. Feel free to have a little dance.

If you’re using a small candle, like a tealight, allow it to burn to the end, as long as it’s safe to do so. When using a large candle, let it burn for as long as you want; each time you relight it, say your intention.

Social Media Detox

We’re spending more and more time on social media, and the accounts that we follow can impact our mental health, whether we realize it or not. For example, if you scroll first thing in the morning, you have no control over what you’re going to see and it can set the tone for your day ahead. The worst-case scenario is that you see something that’s like a dagger through your heart or nails scraping down a chalkboard, and it puts you in a funk that you can’t shake. Nobody wants that.

My friend Lucy Sheridan is a comparison coach and she talks about the ‘House Party Rule’ when it comes to who we follow (or don’t) on social media. The criteria are:

If you wouldn’t allow the person, brand or thing to come into your home or inner circle, then you should review whether or not they stay in your social media feed.

Would you invite them to your house party? Flood your feed with the things that nourish you, make you feel good, entertain you and challenge you in all the right ways.

It’s not about creating echo chambers and wrapping ourselves in cotton wool. Although there will be times when we need to take extreme self-care and be very careful about the stimuli we’re accessing. If we’re feeling steady with our mental health, though, social media can be a fantastic source of education and understanding of what’s going on in the world.

Call back your power and curate a feed that aligns with your highest self. If you don’t want to follow Karen down the road talking about her new eyelashes, it’s cool. It isn’t personal. We’re all entitled to autonomy over who we subscribe to. Use this as an opportunity to cut ties with exes, past soul-sucking jobs and frenemies. Stop cyberstalking people who aren’t in your life any more. This waning Moon ritual is simple and you could do it in your lunch break or while you’re commuting on public transport.

You will need:

• Your phone
• A microfibre or lens-cleaning lint-free cloth
• A cleaning product that is safe and suitable to use on your phone
• A tumbled or small wand of selenite

What to do:

• Get your phone and sign in to your most used social media app.
• Spend the time you’d usually be scrolling to unfollow accounts that don’t support your mental health. Either go through your feed or to the list of people and brands you’re following and unfollow or mute accounts that aren’t invited to your house party.
• As you tap the unfollow or mute say, ‘Just as I wish well for myself, I wish you well.’
• When you’ve finished, apply the cleaning product to the microfibre cloth and wipe over the front and back surfaces of your phone.
• As you leave your phone to charge overnight, place the selenite on it with the intention that the mineral will help you to let go of any unwanted attachments to those you’ve unfollowed.

Optional: After your unfollowing session, replace the existing phone cover with a new one. Choose it to represent how you want to feel when you’re using your phone.

Burn, Baby, Burn

Don’t put your life on hold for someone who won’t or can’t give you the answers you want. Instead of waiting for closure, close the door yourself. Write to them. This letter isn’t for anyone’s eyes but yours. Write your heart out, say anything that you need to get off your chest and let it go. Burn it, bury it or shred it to be recycled. No matter how tempting it is: DO NOT SEND THIS LETTER. It’s time to let go of believing that this experience defines you or is holding you back.

You will need:

• A candle
• Paper and something to write with
• Lighter or matches

What to do:

• Set up a sacred space (see page 17). As you light the candle, say, ‘May I be supported to let go of what no longer serves me.’
• Write a letter to the person you want to let go. Begin ‘Dear [insert name], I’m writing this letter as a symbol of my intention to move on …’ Continue with whatever you want to say to that person.
• Make sure that you take responsibility for your role in the situation and you aren’t just playing the blame game.
• Conclude with something along these lines or that resonates with you. ‘Thank you for the good times and the lessons but now I’m choosing myself. Goodbye, [sign your name].’
• When you’ve finished, take a deep breath and imagine you’re calling back your power as you inhale. When you exhale, imagine that you are letting that person or situation go.
• If you’re going to burn the letter, make sure it’s in a safe and well ventilated space (ideally outdoors). Alternatively, bury the letter in nature or shred it to be recycled.
• As you light the corner of the letter, bury or shred it, say, ‘I reclaim my power, now.’