CHAPTER 31

Frankie

 

I knew that Wilder left me reluctantly, but I really just wanted to be alone so I appreciated that he gave me that privacy. I was in such a state of shock that I honestly didn’t even know how I felt. The only thing for certain was I didn’t have many choices in my reactions because even if I wanted to rage and scream, that wouldn’t have been healthy for the babies. So if I ended up being pissed off, there was nothing I could have done about it, which was probably a good thing seeing as nothing good ever came from reacting out of anger.

Eventually, I had to talk to my parents, and we had to clear the air because the secrets between us all had to stop. It wasn’t healthy for anyone, and whatever damage had been done couldn’t get much worse, so hopefully, that meant it could only get better.

There was no way I could have focused on the work I had to do, so I didn’t even bother trying. Instead, I went to the porch and sat on the swing, and watched Misty as she munched on some grass in the field. I tried to focus on how happy I was, how grateful I was for Wilder, and how great it felt being loved by someone who truly cared about me in a way I knew would last forever.

I heard the crunch of tires on the gravel before I saw a truck coming up the drive. I assumed it was Wilder returning early for lunch to check on me, but as it got closer, I realized it was Maverick.

He shut the engine off and stepped down, then headed my way hesitantly. “Hey. Am I interrupting?”

“Not at all.”

He put his boot on the first step before he stopped as he studied my face. “You all right?”

“Yeah. Family drama.”

He chuckled quietly. “I don’t know anything about that.”

“Sure you don’t.”

“I can’t stop thinking about how I went after Wild with you right there yesterday. Just want you to know doesn’t matter how pissed I was, I’d never have done anything to hurt you… or any woman. Ever. Even if it was unintentionally, I’d have checked myself.”

“I know that.”

He tilted his head. “Good.”

“Are you still mad at him?”

A few seconds passed before he grinned. “No.”

“That fast?”

He leaned on the railing and crossed his arms. “He’s my brother.”

“I wish that was all it took,” I mumbled.

“All it took for what?”

“To forgive someone. I wish all it took was the fact they were family to just let stuff go.”

“I think it is if their intentions were good, or at least understandable.”

My toes grazed the porch as I continued swinging, and then I just blurted out what was on my mind. “I found out this morning that my dad has another kid. And everyone but me knew about it.”

“Ouch.”

“I haven’t talked to my parents or my sister, and I don’t even know if I want to. I just feel so…”

“Betrayed?”

I planted my feet on the deck. “Yeah. And the thing I’m contemplating the most is if I want to know why nobody told me. Maybe it would be worse if I found that out, so do I even want to? What would it hurt continuing to live just how things are now? I’d probably always hold on to that feeling of betrayal, though, so I know I need to address it, no matter how much it’s going to hurt.”

“I know you don’t want my advice, and I don’t know the whole story, but I will say this, intention is everything. I can count on my hand the number of times somebody has done something unforgivable. The first was my mom abandoning her family, the second was Cricket ditching me, and the third was Brenda driving drunk with my kid in the car. All three of those things were purely selfish with no regard for anyone but themselves. Wilder calling Cricket for the reasons he did? Can’t say that I blame him because of his intention. At one time, I’d have done anything for Cricket… anything. And I wouldn’t have cared if someone got their feelings hurt, even my brother.”

“I’m not talking about hurt feelings, though. I’m talking about a lifetime of lies.”

He dropped his arms and hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans. “I get it. And I guess you have to decide if it’s one of those things that’s unforgivable.”

“Yeah. I guess.”

He made me reassure him I was okay before he left, and after he was long gone, all I could think about was how good this family was. And I realized that I’d spent all my life trying to be whatever I needed to be to keep peace within my own family.

In their own way, so did they.

And I was sick of it. I wanted the freedom and the security and the support that I got from Wilder’s family from my own flesh and blood. So I made a decision.

I sent a group text to my parents and Piper and told them there was an emergency, and they had to meet me. Then I let Wilder know what I was doing with another message. I grabbed my purse and hopped in my car, ignoring the beeping on my cell.

It took me forty-five minutes to hit the meeting spot, and when I got out of my car, my parents pulled up right next to me. “What’s wrong?” my mom asked, grabbing my arms. “You didn’t answer me when I called. I’ve been a nervous wreck for the whole drive here. Are you okay? Are the babies all right?”

“The babies are fine. I want to wait for Piper to get here.”

“What’s going on?” Dad planted his feet shoulder-width apart and crossed his arms.

I was about to repeat myself when Piper pulled into the parking lot at the outlet mall as well. She walked over hesitantly, and before she could question why we were all there, I laid it out. “I know about your other kid, Dad.”

“Fuck,” he whispered.

“Oh my.” Mom gasped.

Piper actually blew out a breath of relief. “Finally.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

His arms fell to his sides as his shoulders slumped. “I didn’t—”

“It was me,” Mom interrupted him. “I didn’t want you to know about him because I was so ashamed of myself for, well, everything. I knew your father was already married and—”

“I never wanted that marriage, Dorothy. She fuckin’ lied about being on birth control to get pregnant, you know that. I only married her for the health insurance for Sutton.”

My mom swallowed. “Yes, well, still. When I found out I was pregnant, I let your father know, and he offered to move us closer to his work, but I refused. I didn’t want the two of you to grow up in a place where people would know you and judge you as a whore’s kids and—”

“Swear to God, woman, I hear you say that about yourself one more time…”

She rolled her lips together after the threat rolled off my dad’s tongue. “I wanted to tell y’all so many times. I thought about introducing the two of you to Sutton, but then Piper found out.”

“I saw Dad with them when I snuck out one night, and a boy drove me into Lawless. I was fourteen.”

“With the way she reacted so negatively, your mother and I just decided to continue to keep things the way they were.”

“What about the woman I saw you with?”

Dad dropped his chin to his chest. “Sutton’s momma liked to cause drama by showin’ up. If you saw me with her, it was only to contain her and get her ass away from y’all. She wasn’t fond of your mother.”

“Does he know about us?”

“Yes.”

“Does he want to meet us?”

“No.”

That hurt more than I expected. “Sutton doesn’t want one thing to do with me, moved out of Lawless and ironically enough, into Warrenville to get away from me. I have to live with the fact that I fucked up all of my kids because I thought I was making the right decision, but clearly, I didn’t.”

Piper made a choking noise. “This is great and all, but are we seriously going to stand here and act like this is all okay?”

“Nobody is saying it’s okay, Piper.” Mom shook her head ruefully. “But we’re human. We’ve made mistakes. Nobody is perfect, and if we could go back, we may have done things differently, but we can’t.”

“Whatever. I’m glad you finally know, Frankie. I’m glad we can finally fucking stop pretending everything is normal in our family.”

I turned to her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw him cheating on Mom?”

“I never cheated on your mother.”

“You know what I mean,” Piper spat. “She thought she did, and she sat on it forever. Poor Frankie kept a secret about that, but I kept the biggest one ever to protect her precious feelings, and somehow I’m the bad guy.”

The vitriol in my sister’s voice was concerning. “I didn’t say anything for the same reasons, but I genuinely didn’t want anybody else to feel what I did. I feel like you want me to be as angry as you.”

“Hell yeah, I do. I want him to feel the pain of what he caused, and I’m glad he’ll finally get it from you, too.”

“I don’t want to cause him any more pain, Piper.” I heard my dad suck in air through his teeth. “Isn’t it obvious he’s already suffered enough, both him and Mom? You have a kid, you’re an adult, you can understand that people make mistakes, sometimes really big ones that hurt others. But to intentionally want to hurt someone is… it’s wrong.”

“You’re taking their side?” she asked incredulously.

I shook my head. “There is no side. It’s just family. And I don’t want to raise my kids in an environment with resentment and hatred.”

“Oh, like I am?” she shot back, and when I didn’t answer, she scoffed. “Whatever. I’m glad you know now, but I shouldn’t be surprised you have nothing to say about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re spineless. You always have been, and you always will be. Just wait. Wait until you see him, Frankie. You’ll see your brother, and then it’ll hit you, and when it does, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Dad shifted on his feet, and I could feel the tension rolling off him.

“I want to choose happiness and forgiveness and understanding. If you want to continue living with hate in your heart and spite in your soul, that’s on you.”

She glared at me and finally jerked her head in disgust. And then she got in her car and sped away, squealing her tires.

“I’m sorry,” my dad ground out, pain and regret coming from deep in his stomach. “I never wanted anyone to hurt because of me or because of this.”

“It’s not on you. I was the one who didn’t want to tell them.” Mom comforted him, and I saw at that very moment how much she struggled with her decision.

“But I went along with it.”

I actually took a step back and watched the two of them interact, and it was as if years, no decades, of guilt and shame and regret rose to the surface and drown them before my very eyes. They argued, and Mom cried. Dad wiped her tears away, and I saw the love they had for each other right then. And I couldn’t imagine living with that type of shame for so long.

Maverick’s words echoed in my head, and I knew their intention was always good. They didn’t want anyone to hurt, and it was time I let them know they didn’t have to hold on to it any longer. “I’m not mad.” They both whipped their heads in my direction, almost as if they forgot I was standing there. “Of course I feel some sort of way about it, but I can’t begin to understand how hard it must have been to make the decision you did. Stop feeling guilty. Either Piper will get over it, or she won’t. Don’t let her bitterness get to you. I’m glad I know because now we can all move on in peace with crystal-clear air. Y’all deserve to be happy. We all do.”

Mom started sobbing, and Dad hugged me tighter than he ever has. I tried to apologize for what I said that day I barged into his shop, but he wouldn’t hear it. The entire situation was surreal, but at least the truth was finally out there.

We made plans for supper in a couple of weeks, and I called Wilder on the way home and talked to him the entire drive, telling him everything. I was still talking when I pulled up, and he was pacing on the porch. As soon as he saw me, he hung up, shoved his phone in his pocket, and prowled toward me.

I didn’t get a chance to throw myself at him because he had me hauled up in his arms in seconds. “Christ, Frankie. You know you’re not alone anymore. What the fuck?”

“I needed to do that on my own.”

“Are you really okay?” He finally separated enough to look at my face.

“I really am.” I told the absolute truth. “I feel so relieved to know the truth, no matter how messed up it is. Honestly.”

He closed my car door and took my hand as we walked inside. “I feel the same way about Maverick knowing I called Cricket, too.”

“Look at us, being all mature and stuff.”

“I’d rather just look at you.” He shut the front door and pushed me against it. “All beautiful and all mine.”

My knees wobbled at the same time as they tingled, and the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes were his, and they were shining. Because he was happy. And the reason he was happy was because he knew I was. And nothing in the world was better than that.

Well, except maybe the orgasms he gave me. Actually, the conversation we had in bed, whispering to each other after was a close second. My fingers were tracing his tattoos, and I finally asked what I already knew the answer to. “Are these from my journal?”

“Yeah.”

“When did you get them done?”

He rolled to his side so he could look at me. “After I went to your house the second time and I knew I’d never have you the way I wanted, so I kept a part of you with me the only way I could think of.”

“That’s incredibly beautiful, Wilder. You know that, right?”

“I know you’re beautiful.”

“I’m serious.” I pushed up to my elbow. “It’s such an incredible feeling to know that you had that much love for me back then. It just makes me love you even more now.”

It was cute how he bit back a smile when I complimented him or told him how great he was. “I’m glad you know how much you mean to me.”

“I won’t miss travelling.” I felt the need to let him know, I wanted him to feel secure in my love for him. “If I have you,” I rubbed my belly. “Our family, it’s all I need. I don’t want you to ever think I’m missing out on seeing the world, because I have the world when I’m with you.”

He pressed his lips to mine and kissed me slowly, and then held me close until we drifted off to sleep.

* * *

“Goddamn motherfucking shit.” I woke to the soft curse coming down the hallway, and I slid my feet into my fuzzy slippers and padded down to the noise. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” A loud clank of metal sounded, and I jumped, my eyebrows scrunching as I got to the nursery and saw Wilder amid a pile of wood and screws.

He craned his neck and said good morning. “Morning.” I bent down and kissed him. “What are you doing?”

“Not putting a crib together.” He pushed at the white railing. “Or cribs.”

“Get used to it, buddy. Twins mean double everything.”

“And whose fault is that?” he accused.

I rolled my eyes. “My great-great-grandmother.”

“Remind me to thank her when I see her in heaven.” He kicked at a screwdriver. “Or hell with the way this is going?”

“Bad instructions?”

“They’re not even in English!”

I started to sit, and he pushed up to help lower me. “What language are they in?”

“I don’t know.” He handed me the manual. “German? Klingon?”

“Ils sont en français.”

He ripped the paper out of my hands. “What did you just say?”

“I said they’re in French.”

“You speak French?”

“Un petit peu.” I held my fingers an inch apart. “I did a summer abroad… and it’s my favorite place to travel. The food is…” I kissed my fingertips. “Délicieuse.”

I found myself flying through the air, and I squealed when my feet were swept out from under me, and I was cradled in Wilder’s arms. “Do you know any dirty words?”

“How do you go from swearing and throwing crib pieces to horny in a matter of seconds?”

“When my sexy as hell baby momma says sexy as fuck things in French.”

I laughed when he tossed me on the bed. “I didn’t even say anything sexy.”

“Yeah?” He reached behind him and pulled his shirt off, then did the same to me. “That’s about to change.”

“What if I don’t know any sexy words?”

“You do.” He shucked the flannel pants he wore around the house and went for my sleep shorts, but I put my hand over his. His eyes flew to mine, and he arched a brow. “What’s wrong?”

I grinned, loving this playful side of him. “Nothing. I want to make a deal with you.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His fingers ran along the elastic below the swell of my belly. “Does this deal mean I get inside these little shorts?”

“It does.”

He crawled over me, planting his fists on either side of me. “State your terms, Frankie.”

“Okay, Ben. I’ll say all the dirty things to you, but you have to agree to take a trip to Paris with me.”

“Deal.” He didn’t even blink before he had his hands at my shorts again, and I laughed as I grabbed his wrists. “What, honey? I said deal.”

“But you didn’t even think about it.”

He tugged them to my thighs. “I don’t need to think about it. If you want it, as long as it’s in my power, I’ll give it to you.”

“But you said you were never leaving your land, you said—”

“If my wife wants to take her honeymoon in Paris, then I’ll leave my land for that.”

I gasped at his words, but also because he yanked my shorts completely off. I pushed up onto my elbows. “Your wife?”

“Yeah.” He walked over to his dresser, hard dick slapping against his stomach, and opened a drawer. When he came back and I saw what he was holding, I sat straight up. He slid a beautiful, thick diamond band on my ring finger. It was sparkly and gorgeous, and I held my hand up to see it shining. “You’re the love of my life, Frankie, and I want to spend the rest of it by your side. Will you marry me?”

I didn’t even try to hide my tears when I looked at him and said, “Oui.”