The next morning, I was in a worse mood than the night before. After the visit from Nicholas, I went back to my room. I didn’t see Nicholas after I left the table, and Edward kept his distance as well. I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to talk anymore. I just wanted to keep moving forward. I felt like I was swimming in treacherous waters, and if I stopped moving I would be pulled under. I had to keep moving. I had to keep looking forward.
Like usual, John took me to work. Meg was still pestering me about not overdoing it and resting. I didn’t want to rest. I wanted to stay busy. To make matters even worse, it was raining out.
Around eleven, the door jingled. I looked up as Nicholas walked in. He was followed by Jack and Carl. He seemed a little tense. He glanced around, almost like he was waiting for someone to jump out.
I looked at him confused. “What are you doing here?”
He glanced at me as if he just realized I was there. “I was just checking on you.”
Jack and Carl wandered off like they were looking for something or someone.
I didn’t believe him. There was something going on. “I don’t believe you.”
He looked back at me. “How are you feeling? You look pale.”
I scowled. He was ignoring my questions. “I’m okay. I get sick in the morning. It makes it hard for me to eat much.”
“Have you seen a doctor yet?” He was watching Jack and Carl as he spoke. Something was going on, but he wasn’t willing to share.
I shook my head. “I have an appointment tomorrow. Why are you here again?”
He looked down at me. “Can I go with you to your appointment?”
I hesitated. “I guess … why would you want to?”
He sighed, and looked away. He looked back at me after a minute of silence. “You’re having my baby right?”
I was still confused. “Yes.”
He shrugged. “Then I should be there. What time should I pick you up?”
I laughed, slightly confused. “Now you’re taking my word for it? I thought I was a gold digging whore.”
He winced at my words. “I was angry. I didn’t mean that. You know me, Amanda.”
I scowled. “You’re right. I do know you … but you obviously don’t know me. My appointment is at nine, be at Edwards by eight-thirty.” I turned to walk away. I needed to escape him. I needed a breather.
He caught my hand in his. “Will you come home now?”
I didn’t look at him. I shook my head. “That isn’t a good idea.” I attempted to pull away, but he squeezed my hand tighter.
“I don’t care if the baby isn’t mine. I don’t care because I want you no matter what. I want you to come home with me. I need you there.” His voice was a desperate whisper.
My chest tightened. I hated how sad he sounded, but it wasn’t going to work. It never did. There was always something that caused turmoil and broke us apart. I couldn’t take another disappointment … not right now. “I think it’s best if I stay where I am. If you would like to be involved in the baby’s life, that’s fine, but I need some time.”
He moved closer to me. I could feel his body pressing to my back. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. “Please … don’t do this.”
I took a steadying breath, trying to keep my tears at bay. “If you love me, then you will give me the time I need.”
He seemed to relax. He slowly let his arms drop. “I suppose you’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. After how I treated you, I’m lucky you will even look at me.”
I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I love you, Nicholas. That hasn’t changed. I just need time to figure things out.”
He wrapped his arms around me, cradling me closer. “I will pick you up in the morning then?”
I nodded and pulled away from him. “I’ll see you then.”
He turned and walked toward the door. Jack and Carl followed. They were all acting weird, but none of them would admit to it. I was slightly worried that something was going on. Maybe the man in the mask was back. I was slightly unnerved, but I tried not to focus on it.