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MICHELLE WAS SITTING back at the dining table, braced for the worst. One thing she knew for sure – she’d never again write an email while under the influence of alcohol.
Taking a calming breath, she clicked on Dan’s reply. A stabbing sensation jabbed at her head and neck, as it flashed onto the screen and her fight-or-flight response kicked in. Then she read his words. He didn’t hate her.
So funny... love the way your mind works... liked Mel, too... completely understand your decision...
Having grown up in, and then married into, a family that liked to put its members’ every move under the microscope of condemnation, Michelle was taken aback by his tolerant response. The phrase ‘What will people say?’ had been used so often to keep herself and Gary in check during their childhood, that Michelle had subconsciously adopted the practice to judge herself as an adult. Dan’s lack of criticism was flabbergasting.
He told her that she’d made him more concerned about Penny’s drinking, which was never funny and way beyond tipsy these days. He also said they’d been out with friends the previous evening, and she’d ended up so inebriated that she’d announced to everyone that they no longer had sex. The women had looked at him with pity, and the men as if he had no balls. A mammoth row had ensued later, when the wife of one of his so-called friends walked in on her husband making a pass at Penny in the kitchen. This morning she’d recalled nothing. Dan said Penny was too naïve. Michelle wasn’t so sure.
She wondered why Penny would mention the lack of sex, when she and Dan had plans to split up. She wanted to shake him. Putting up with such behaviour enabled, practically encouraged, her to continue. Whenever Michelle pictured Penny, she had sly cat-like eyes and a cheesy grin.
Here she was, torturing herself over a silly kiss on the beach that was clearly a mistake, while married couples were humiliating their spouses and making passes at those of their friends. Why weren’t ‘people’ judging and condemning their actions? Michelle decided it was time she stopped caring so much about what others thought of her. She tapped out a reply.
Ignore my last email. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve ended up in this friendship by accident, and I’m sick of doing ‘the right thing’ in every situation all the blasted time, while everyone else seems to do as they please. If people don’t like it, then that’s their problem. However, you’d better mean it about only wanting to be friends... Don’t mess me around. Michelle.
The phone trilled immediately.
‘Thank goodness you’ve changed your mind,’ said Dan. ‘I can’t tell you how pleased and relieved I am.’
‘Only about friendship.’
‘Absolutely. Of course. Yes. Phew, now we can go back to normal.’
‘Well, it might not be exactly the same. It’s bound to be a bit awkward. I mean, it had never entered my mind that you thought about me in that way. So I hope you mean it when you say you really didn’t.’ As she said the words, she realised how stupid they sounded.
Dan laughed. ‘I don’t. You’re just that kid with the big front teeth to me.’
‘My teeth? They aren’t big.’ She dashed over to the mirror to inspect them.
‘No, not now that your head’s grown into them.’
Alarm rising in her stomach, she turned from side to side to check her head. ‘What’s wrong with my head?’
‘Nothing. I’m trying to convince you I don’t fancy you –’
‘Alright, no need to make me feel like a gargoyle in the process.’
‘For goodness sake. Look, let’s meet up next week and clear the air. Are you free on Thursday evening? I’m up near Scotland for a meeting after lunch. I could call in on my way home for a cuppa if you’d like me to?’
‘Okay. We’ll have a chat and see if we can get back to where we were. If not, well that’ll be that.’
‘Great, see you then.’
It felt right to give Dan another chance. If he really was a friend, it would be worth the risk. And if he wasn’t, well she’d soon find out – this time she wouldn’t have her guard down.
