The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. (Psalm 32:8)
Week 6, Day 3
Lovers need to learn to make decisions: decisions that affect themselves personally and decisions that have to do with the whole relationship.
We influence—or even force—the other person to make decisions. Some people are quick-thinking and can come up with a dozen solutions to a problem. I tend to be that way. Others are the slower, plodding type, who think a problem through, analyze it carefully, and come up with a single solution. Sometimes we fast-talking types put the slower-thinking ones into a bind. We give them two or three options as though they have to choose between just those. In reality, they may have a totally different option which is much better.
A lot of decisions are made by default. One person finally throws up his hands and says, “Do anything you want; let’s just do something.” The slow person says, “Because you rushed me, you made me come to a decision that I wasn’t ready to make. I didn’t have time to think it through.”
Unwittingly, lovers sometimes play that game with each other. Good decision making comes about because of several factors. I am a decisive kind of person. I see a problem, make an instant decision, and am ready to move on. Shirley tends to be the other way. She wants to think about it, ponder it, and then decide. We have both learned to talk it over, so that now I no longer rush her and she speeds up a little to my pace.
When couples make decisions together, one of them may be caught up in the agony of sorting out options, while the other can back off emotionally and bring a certain amount of objectivity to the situation. Good decision making between lovers does not come about because one has an idea and forces the other. Good decisions come because both of them state their feelings and preferences plainly, pray about it together, and sense the direction God wants them to take.
It doesn’t matter how the decision is arrived at. Good lovers make the decisions together. Most of all, they learn that Jesus Christ helps them sort out the options.
Good decision making between lovers does not divide them, but leaves both of them feeling, “This is right.” It actually strengthens the bond between them.
Almighty God, help us to make our decisions together as we seek guidance from you. Amen.