Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud. (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Week 2, Day 4
Some years ago I read a novel, its title and author forgotten, about a woman who married a man she loved. He did not love her, although he was fond of her. For thirty years she would not allow anyone to speak against him, even when he deserved it. She bore patiently with his foul temper, as well as the thoughtless ways he acted, all because she loved him.
Near the end of the book, he died; but he confessed that her love had finally won him. He had learned to love her without realizing it. Why? Because she never resented him or wavered in her faithfulness. She loved him.
I can think of no greater quality of love than that which refuses to resent and would not consider retaliating.
Often when a person speaks against us, or says anything unkind, we find ourselves becoming angry. We also think of getting even. “I’ll do the same thing to him that he did to me.” “She gossiped about me, so…”
Real love pushes such thoughts aside. Love is commitment to a cause, a person, or a faith. That love doesn’t waver simply because things go wrong.
Mature love knows how to overlook failures. It can close its ears against angry words. It has no desire to get even.
In the novel mentioned above, the woman said to her husband on the night of their marriage, “I love you enough for both of us.” Her constancy throughout the book proved the reality of that love.
Reflecting on that novel reminds me of God’s love toward me. No one needs to remind me of my failures, my lack of devotion, or my straying from God. Yet one thing always brings me back—his constant love which always welcomes me without recrimination.
A few years ago I saw this illustrated in Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. The younger son went astray but eventually came to himself. He decided to return home, not as a son, but as a laborer in the fields. Before he had a chance to speak, the father was standing in the road, arms outstretched. He didn’t lecture and he didn’t resent. He said, “My son who was lost is now found.”
The father rejoiced over the loved one’s return. He didn’t remind the young man of wasted funds and riotous living. He simply loved the son—as he had all along.
That’s not always easy. When we feel betrayed, rejected, slighted, or taken advantage of, we want to retaliate. Or at least resentment builds up. When it happens twice or three times, or perhaps half a dozen times, the volcano erupts. Anger spews out. That’s the natural way for many of us.
Yet the Apostle Paul reminds us that true love doesn’t work that way. We learn from God that love keeps on giving of itself. It overlooks the occasions for resentment. It stores up no grievances. It only gives of itself.
My Lord and Teacher, take away resentment. Replace it with the love that suffers long and harbors no ill feelings. Amen.