Naomi smoothed her hand over Macy’s forehead and pulled the blanket up to snuggle it under her chin. She leaned to kiss her daughter’s forehead. “Sleep and sleep, honey. Big day tomorrow.”
Macy’s eyes were already fluttering heavily. “Yup. Our big adventure. Love you, Mama.”
Naomi brushed the silky skin of Macy’s cheek with another nuzzling kiss and closed her eyes, breathing in her warm, familiar scent. Moments like these were an oasis of right in a world gone wrong. “Love you too, baby girl. I’ll finish up and come to bed in a little while.”
She could tell by Macy’s breathing that she was asleep before she reached the door of the bedroom. Persephone jumped up on the bed and settled in to keep vigil – she rarely left Macy’s side these days – so Naomi waited for Hades to follow her into the hallway, then pulled the door shut and headed into the living room with the big dog trailing behind her.
They had been hunkered down in this house for three days. Naomi had broken in to five houses in the vicinity of their disabled truck before she found one that was deserted, or rather, free of corpses. If anyone was left alive nearby, they weren’t interested in making contact, which suited Naomi just fine. Several times a day they heard a motor bike, sometimes near, sometimes far. She couldn’t be sure it was the same bike she’d heard the day they escaped the gang, she didn’t know if those people would still be looking for them, but it was safer to assume both were true.
They had passed the days resting, re-grouping and on Naomi’s part, reconnoitering. Two days ago, she had left Macy in the care of the dogs and had slid through neighborhoods until she reached the spot where Manitou Avenue joined Highway 24. From there on, there was only one way to Woodland Park: through the narrow pass with its steep, high canyon walls.
Not only was it blocked, it looked like a riot had occurred. Vehicles were piled on top of each other – several 4 wheel drive trucks had tried to crawl around or over the top of the jam – and many of the vehicles had been burned. Those that weren’t damaged by fire had been looted. Worse, there were bodies everywhere, some still in the vehicles, some reduced to disintegrating piles of rags and putrefying flesh on the road.
Naomi hadn’t seen anyone, but she had literally crept backwards until she was out of sight of the pile-up, so great was the threat she sensed. There was no way she could take Macy through that. They would have to find another way.
And they had.
Naomi stepped into the living room, and her eyes locked on the pile of supplies in the middle of the room. Sinking onto the couch, she wrapped her arms around herself, squeezed, and started to rock. Now that Macy was asleep, she could give in to the terror she had been trying to hide all day.
“I cannot do this. I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.” It was such a relief to speak the words, to let her face twist and the burning tears fall. “I want to go home. I want Scott, and I want to go home, just want to go home…”
The plan they had settled on was extreme, but try as she might, Naomi couldn’t think of something better: They were walking out; hiking, actually, over some of the toughest trails in the region. Macy had come up with the idea. They had hauled all the books they’d brought with them out of the back of the truck – Naomi hoped something familiar would comfort her daughter – and after a day spent reading, Macy had held up Piper’s old trail book.
“We could hike out, Mama. We could take trails all the way into Cascade.” Her delicate finger traced the route on the map. “We could start out on the Barr Trail, connect to the French Creek Trail, then the Heizer Trail, which goes right down into Cascade. I bet we could find a car to use there, to drive the rest of the way. Do you think that would take us past the traffic jam?”
Naomi examined the route Macy had pointed out, looking for a flaw in the plan, because…well, because back-country hiking was not part of her skill set. “It doesn’t look like the French Creek Trail and the Heizer Trail actually intersect. I don’t have enough experience to just wing it, honey. The few times I’ve hiked, I just followed the person I was with.” And gasped and wheezed, and wondered why she had ever agreed to such madness.
“It says right here that you just follow the pink or orange ribbons on the trees to the Heizer trail.”
Naomi took the book from her and read for a moment, then handed it back. “It also says that Barr Trail is one of the most difficult regional trails because of the elevation gain. It climbs 3,800 feet in the first three miles.”
Macy stared at her for a few moments, then narrowed her eyes. “You’re planning to go home.”
“It’s the only thing that makes sense, honey. We need to be somewhere safe, somewhere you can rest and recover.”
“You promised daddy. You lied.”
The accusation made Naomi’s temper fray along the edges. “I did not lie. He couldn’t have known what things would be like.”
“He knew exactly what it would be like! I heard him talking to you – he said the city was the most dangerous place to be, that people would be looting houses and killing each other! Those people that tried to stop us – that lady – she wanted to take me. What if they find us?”
Her words dumped adrenalin into Naomi’s bloodstream, but she managed to maintain a calm, rational tone. “Even if I had experience, neither one of us is physically prepared for a hike like that. I’m overweight and out of shape, and you’re still terribly weak.”
“It’s only about ten miles. The book says people can walk about two miles an hour. We could get there in a day.”
Naomi raised an eyebrow. “You carried two loads of supplies in here last night, then slept through your dinner. You really think you can walk for five hours, with that kind of elevation gain? Really?”
Macy had thrown herself back against the pillows of the couch, skinny arms folded across her skinny chest, tears flooding her eyes. “You lied to Daddy. And Piper will look for us at the cabin. You could at least think about it.”
“I will,” Naomi had soothed, sure she was lying again, and reconciled to that fact. “I’ll think about it, honey, I promise.”
But she’d kept her word, in spite of herself. The idea kept creeping back in, as she considered and discarded their other options. Rampart Range Road was out – she wouldn’t risk taking them anywhere near where they’d been ambushed. Old Stage Road was equally problematic – too close to Fort Carson’s refugee camps and NORAD, which surely had become a military stronghold with a patrolled perimeter. Besides, with the rains they’d been having, she couldn’t be sure either of the precipitous dirt roads were still passable.
Then there was the problem of transportation. The truck had two flat tires. She was sure the spare was in good shape – Scott had maintained their vehicles meticulously – but she just had the one, and she’d never changed a tire in her life. Abandoned vehicles were everywhere, but if she didn’t have a destination in mind, it didn’t make sense to risk the noise a vehicle would make, the attention they would attract.
Piper was the clincher. Macy was right; if Piper was alive, she would look for them first at the cabin, Naomi was sure of it. If she didn’t find them there, she would head for Colorado Springs, and run into the same dangers she and Macy were facing now.
She had capitulated late in the afternoon of the second day, and to her consternation, Macy had sobbed with relief. “Oh, Mama, I’ve been so scared you’d say no! We have to get to Woodland Park, and I have to get to the cabin. I just…have to.”
Cold, cold, streaking down her spine and clenching her stomach in a fist of ice. Naomi ignored it. She was learning to ignore a lot of things, like anything she didn’t have the resources to deal with in a given moment. Ominous pronouncements from her daughter. Bizarre mind-melds with her dog. She forced a light tone and ruffled Macy’s hair. “Then I’ll find a way to get you there.”
A promise which had brought her to this point, sitting on a couch in some stranger’s house, rocking and sobbing like a child while she stared at a pile of supplies she needed to carry into the mountains.
Hades whined softly and pressed up against her leg. She wrapped an arm around his chest but avoided looking directly at him; every time she made eye contact with one of the dogs, her perception shifted and wobbled. The sensation was weaker with Persephone, but still very real. Naomi snorted. As if she knew what “real” was these days. Surreal, she was becoming quite conversant with. She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and heaved a few more deep, shuddering breaths. Then she swiped the tears off her cheeks and stood up.
“Miles to go before I sleep,” she muttered. She had started talking to herself more and more lately, which didn’t even worry her, given the weirdness with the dogs. She moved to the pile of supplies on the floor for one last winnowing before she started stuffing it all in a backpack.
She hoped they would make it in two days but was planning for four, packing nutrient-dense food and layers of clothing, a single sleeping bag for them to share, and the single-person pup tent. Macy was so tiny right now, they would both fit easily. She didn’t think water would be a concern – they could replenish their supply at No Name Creek on the first day, French Creek the second day. They were still getting water out of the taps, but Naomi didn’t know how water sanitation worked, so she had been using the water purification drops from Scott’s camping supplies for the last several days. The first-aid kit, fire-starting materials, Scott’s hunting knife, the hatchet, rope, her shotgun and the handgun. All the ammunition. Food for the dogs. The trail book, a compass and a map.
And that was it.
With the exception of the sleeping bag and the tent, she had gotten it all into a single pack. Macy wouldn’t be carrying anything except an umbrella that could double as a walking stick. Naomi sat back on her heels and took deep breaths to ward off another crying jag. Such a huge pack when she thought about carrying it. Such a tiny pack when she thought about walking into the wilderness with her frail daughter and two animals who were completely dependent on her.
Marked trails or not, Naomi had no illusions about the danger of what they would be attempting. She had lived in Colorado all her life, and knew how quickly the unprepared could get into trouble, even on well-used, popular trails. Every year, search and rescue teams were called in to save someone who had tried to rock-climb wearing flip-flops, or summit Pikes Peak supplied with a camera, a granola bar and a bottle of water.
She had been reading the guidebook over and over, but all it did was terrify her more. So much to remember, and it was all alien to her. Scott and the girls were the campers – she had always sent them on their way with homemade cookies and a pot of Irish stew, then gone off to get a pedicure and meet girlfriends for lunch. Now their lives depended on her remembering to make noise while they walked to scare off bears, or how to identify edible plants if something went wrong and they ran out of food, or how to filter and disinfect water when the purification drops were gone.
A skittering thump at the sliding glass door and a low whuff from Hades startled a muffled shriek out of her. Ares was dangling by his claws halfway up the screen door. She hadn’t seen him since they had arrived; he had huffed into the overgrown back yard to sulk, and when he didn’t show up for food, she assumed he’d found good hunting as well. She met his green gaze without thinking, and the world shifted.
The room brightened immediately, but she was seeing it now in shades of black and white, enriched by deep blue and purple tones. There were three flies in the room - she could hardly rip her gaze away from their buzzing movements. Reflexively, she clapped her hands over her eyes; at the screen, Ares let out a startled yowl and dropped to the ground.
Naomi peeked at him using her peripheral vision. He was stalking back and forth in front of the door, every hair on his body bottle-brushed out, and when her face turned towards him, he hissed. He hadn’t hissed at her since she brought him home from the shelter. Naomi approached the door warily and opened it for him. He stalked past her, took his usual swipe at Hades, then jumped up on the back of the couch.
Well. If she didn’t fear she was losing her mind, this would be fascinating. Keeping her face averted, she gave Ares a stroke along his spine, then headed to the bedroom she was sharing with Macy, Hades a faithful shadow. Sleep seemed unlikely, but she needed all the rest she could get.
As if she’d set an alarm, Naomi opened her eyes when the sun was only a lighter gray color in the eastern sky. She roused Macy, and they dressed in the clothes Naomi had set out, whispering in the chill quiet. She fed the animals a generous breakfast, then braided Macy’s hair while she ate. The tiny slice of familiar soothed them both. When she was done, she left Macy to finish eating and called Hades to her.
She had planned to rig a pack of sorts for him with the tent and the sleeping bag, using bungee cords to secure them on either side of his torso. To her relief, he seemed agreeable to carrying it, standing patiently while she fussed with the cords. Then she stood and shouldered her own pack, slinging her shotgun over her shoulder by the strap. The handgun was in a mesh side-pocket of her backpack; she could get to it fairly easily, though it wouldn’t be a quick draw.
By the time she finished, Macy and Persephone were waiting by the slider, Macy carrying the umbrella and Persephone dancing her perky ready-ready-ready-to-go dance. And just like that, they were out the door.
Ares slunk out between their feet, and Naomi watched him go, wondering as she always did if they would ever see him again. She looked at Macy and forced a grin, in spite of her pounding heart and dry mouth. “Wagons west!”
They slipped through the neighborhoods quickly and silently, walking single-file with the dogs flanking them, using whatever cover was available. Naomi had warned Macy about the need for speed and silence on this part of the trip; they were in far more danger here in Manitou Springs than they would be when they were on the trails. And in spite of the soft, rosy light of dawn and the lilt of birdsong, a subtle menace pervaded the morning.
Naomi had estimated they were just under a mile from the trailhead, and she didn’t want to stop until they got there. She scanned their surroundings constantly, using all of her senses to feel their way along. A few times, she was sure she felt eyes on them, and she hurried their pace until the feeling passed. They were just over what she guessed was the half-way mark when Hades trotted in front of her and stopped dead. He didn’t growl, but he wouldn’t move, and Naomi didn’t hesitate.
She hustled Macy and Persephone up between two houses, while Hades brought up the rear. She hid Macy behind a shrub, then slid to the corner of one of the houses to look out. Hades moved to stand beside her, and that was when Naomi heard it. Faintly at first, then getting louder, the buzz of a small motor – the same one she’d heard a few days ago, she’d swear it.
She looked back at Macy, and put a finger to her lips. Then she returned her attention to the street, rested her hand on Hades’ head, and allowed his perceptions to augment her own.
The buzzing was suddenly much louder, and the smell of death was overwhelming. There were people dead in both the houses they were standing between, she was sure of it. An involuntary shudder ripped down her spine, and she struggled against the urge to hurry Macy away. Ironically, Hades’ instinct to stay and hide overrode her mother’s instinct to distance her daughter from death.
The buzzing got even louder, and Naomi retreated back behind the shrub with Macy. She positioned her body in front of her daughter, and Hades lay down in front of them both. When the buzzing was nearly on top of them, Naomi looked down and shut her eyes, willing herself into invisible stillness.
She didn’t see the little dirt bike flash past, but Hades did. She had a quick impression of noise, the stink of the bike, and a man riding it. Whether he was young or old, she couldn’t begin to say, but the danger clinging to him was unmistakable. They stayed where they were until Hades stood up and looked back at her. She nodded, helped Macy to her feet, and they crept on their way.
It was so hard not to hurry, but Naomi forced them to maintain a slow, steady pace. She was winded already and they hadn’t even left the city yet. Macy’s energy seemed good, but she knew how quickly that could change. They were nearly at the trailhead when a sudden rustling from the underbrush beside another house startled all of them.
A small dog charged at them, barking wildly. A Brussels Griffon – Naomi automatically identified his breed. His desperation preceded him like a punch – his people were dead, he was hungry and alone for the first time in his life, and his mind was nearly unhinged by terror and loneliness. Naomi knelt down to shush him, heart pounding in response to both his fear and her own. They could not afford this kind of commotion.
The tiny dog wiggled against her, licking and whining. Hades was rumbling a low growl, and Persephone was rigid with disapproval, staring at the newcomer. Macy knelt too, and stroked the small, quivering dog.
“Mom. We have to take him with us. Look at him – he’s so scared.”
“No.” The word barked out of her, part pain, part instinct. Naomi took a deep breath and softened her tone. “Honey, no. Feel his body – he’s older than he looks, feel how frail his bones are. And…” She hesitated, not sure how to tell Macy what she sensed without starting a conversation she wasn’t ready to have. “He’s immature in temperament, too. He’s been spoiled and pampered, and he’s not trained. We can’t take him. I’m sorry.”
“But Mama-”
“No.” Naomi stared into Macy’s eyes, willing her to understand. “You used hard truth on me. You reminded me about my promise to Daddy, and about Piper meeting us at the cabin. This is hard truth. We can’t rely on him. He’ll endanger us.”
Before Macy could reply, Hades’ head lifted, and his body stiffened. Naomi lifted her head as well, and heard it: The buzzing motor bike. Coming closer. Fast.
She scooped up the little dog and hurried them all behind the house he’d come from. Sensing the increased level of excitement, he started wriggling and yipping, oblivious and eager to play. Naomi cupped her hand over his muzzle and tried to reach out to him with her mind, tried to calm him, to convey the danger they were in, but her attempt just confused and excited him more. His wriggling increased, and he started trying to nip at her quieting hand, his yips turning to sharp, agitated barks.
Sweat greased Naomi’s forehead and coated her from her underarms to her waist. The buzzing motor bike was deafening – she couldn’t tell if she was experiencing it through Hades, or if it was that close – and there was no time, no time.
She turned her back on Macy, closed her hands over the little dog’s skull and around his neck, and twisted with all the sudden violence she could. A sudden yelp, a ripple of crunches, and his body jerked once. She felt his life lift like smoke through her hands.
She kept his limp corpse resting across her knees. Macy was crying silently behind her; she could feel her daughter’s anguish as clearly as she could hear her hitching breaths. The buzzing motor bike was still close, but the danger seemed remote now, compared to what Naomi had just learned she could do.
She wanted to vomit, wanted to join Macy in tears, and would not permit herself either luxury. Those reactions belonged to the old Naomi. The soft-hearted Naomi, who had never touched another living creature in anger, not in her whole life. From one heartbeat to the next, she had become someone she no longer recognized.
The buzzing drifted farther and farther away, and finally retreated out of earshot altogether, and still they sat there. Naomi knew they needed to move, knew that the higher the sun climbed, the hotter the first part of the trail would be, but to move meant looking into Macy’s eyes. What would she see there? Disapproval? Fear? Hate?
Macy’s hand landed on her shoulder, soft and light as a bird. When her little arms slid around Naomi’s neck, and her soft baby cheek, tacky with dried tears, pressed to her mother’s, Naomi heaved a breath that seemed to fill her body all the way to her toes.
“Honey, I…I couldn’t quiet him…I didn’t know what else…” Naomi shut her eyes and heaved another enormous breath. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Macy’s arms tightened for a moment, then she rose and slid around in front of her mother, lifting the little dog’s body into her own arms. “Mama, I know. And he’s okay. He really is. He’s with his people now.”
Naomi couldn’t change the subject or pretend to misunderstand. Not anymore. “Are you sure?”
Macy held her gaze steadily. “Yes. They waited for him. And now they’ve all gone on together.”
“You could see them. Like you see Daddy.”
“Yes.”
They regarded each other from this new place, in the bright light of day. Then Naomi took a deep breath and plunged. “I feel things. Like danger, or the right thing to do.” Another deep breath. “And I can share senses with the animals. I can smell and see and sense things through them.”
Macy’s face bloomed into a delighted smile. “Seriously? Mama, that is so cool! Way better than seeing dead people!”
Her disgruntled expression made Naomi laugh, and the lift in her heart gave her the courage to take the next step on this awful journey. She reached out and lifted the little dog’s corpse out of Macy’s arms, and laid him gently on the ground. “I’m glad he’s okay. I’m glad you could tell me that. Now we need to go.”
It took two blocks for the wobble in her knees to steady, but by the time they finally reached the trailhead, she had refocused her attention on the next step in front of them, and the next. She didn’t have time right now to wonder about this evolution of self, this woman who could kill with her bare hands to keep her daughter safe. Later, when they were safe, she might figure out how this new truth fit into the compassion and tenderness she had always thought of as her core.
At the Barr Trailhead, a sign provided them with dire warning just in case they weren’t aware of what they were getting into. Naomi turned her back on it, and they sat in the shade to eat a quick snack and drink some water before they started on the trail. It had taken them longer to get here than Naomi had planned; the sun was searing, though it couldn’t be more than 8:00 am.
In the parking lot, several abandoned vehicles stood, leaves and debris accumulated around their tires. For the first time, it occurred to her that other people might have hiked out this way, for the same reasons they were. What if they met them on the trail? She felt another spike of anxiety, then pressed her lips together hard.
Without making a big deal out of it, she took the handgun from the backpack, checked the safety, and put it in the pocket of the sweatshirt she had tied around her waist. Macy didn’t comment, but when Naomi looked up, she was watching her with eyes that were just a little too big.
Half an hour ago, Macy had seemed otherworldly, wise, possessed of a mysterious knowledge that rendered her ageless. Now, she was just a little girl who was tired and sweaty, and overwhelmed by the changes in her mother.
The remedy for that was a taste of practical, bossy Mama. Naomi nudged Macy’s half-eaten granola bar towards her mouth. “Come on, chop chop. Eat that up so we can get going.” She poured some water into her cupped hands for the dogs, adjusted Hade’s pack, and winced her way back into her own backpack. She was pretty sure the shoulder straps had rubbed her raw already.
By the time her preparations were complete, Macy was ready to go. Naomi gestured for her to take the lead – the better to keep watch for the signs that she needed to rest – and without looking back, they walked into the wilderness.