Tyler was positive he had died and gone to heaven.
He should have been lying back, feeling sated and smug. That was what he usually felt for about five minutes, before he started getting antsy and ready to leave a warm bed and head for his own home. Normally, he didn’t feel comfortable spending the night in a woman’s bed. Not even Renee’s.
He told himself he should be climbing out of bed right now and pulling on his clothes instead of lying here with a sleeping Libby in his arms. Except he wasn’t eager to relinquish her and leave the silky softness of her body. Holding her seemed so right. She curled against him as if she had been made for him, and his arms wrapped around her instinctively.
Their mingled scent was sharp in his nostrils. Tyler found himself curious to explore her bathroom. To find out what she used to make her hair smell so exotic—was that almond?—while the rest of her smelled like spring. He rubbed his chin across the top of her head so he could feel the silky softness of her hair.
Come on, Libby! Say yes. I’ll even stand on my head if you say you’ll go steady with me.
Tyler frowned as the odd words rang through his mind. Why would they sound so real, as if he’d actually spoken them? He’d never gone steady in his life!
Libby murmured something indistinguishable and stirred in his arms.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, raising herself slightly on one arm.
“I was afraid you considered me pretty boring company,” he teased. He used his fingers to brush an unruly lock of hair off her face. He carefully tucked it behind her ear, his fingers lingering at the delicate shell.
His eyes were accustomed to the darkness, so he could easily see her face. But it was her eyes that caught his attention—and a question in them that he felt he should know the answer to. What was she trying to tell him?
Libby looked past him.
“I think you should leave now,” she said softly.
He sat up so quickly she had to lean back so she wouldn’t slip backward. The corner of the sheet covering her breasts started to slide downward until she grabbed hold of it.
He told himself he had heard wrong. “Are you kicking me out?”
“Yes, I am.” She nodded as she said the words, as if to make sure he didn’t misunderstand her blunt request. As if he could have!
Tyler rubbed his hand over his chin. The skin was bristly to the touch.
“I thought you might want to cook me breakfast in the morning. If we decide to get up in time, that is.” He raised his eyebrows.
She didn’t laugh or blush at his provocative remark.
“I’m sure you can find something for breakfast at your own home or at any restaurant in town,” she said in an even voice.
Libby slipped out of bed and walked around to the other side. She picked up her nightgown and slid it over her head.
Tyler felt regret when her nude body was covered with lilac print flannel. Before he could say something, his own clothes were dropped on his bare stomach. He sat up and pulled his shirt on, then tugged on his briefs.
“Some hostess you are, darlin’.”
The light in the bathroom sent a wide beam across the carpet as Libby disappeared into the room. A moment later, she reappeared with a hairbrush in her hand. She ran it through her hair, smoothing the locks he had combed his fingers through not all that long ago.
“You got what you came for. Now you can go home feeling like a victor.” She set the brush down on the dresser and walked toward the doorway.
Tyler hurriedly pulled on his jeans, zipping and buttoning as he followed Libby into the living room. He carried his boots in one hand.
“What’s wrong, Libby?” He remained on her heels as she strode into the kitchen and took a glass out of a cabinet. She filled it with water and drank thirstily.
“Nothing.” She set the now-empty glass down, then turned around and leaned against the counter.
“Then you tell me why after the most incredible sex two people could share, you’re throwing me out.” He walked toward her until their bodies almost touched.
She reached behind her and flipped on the light. The bright glare caused them both to blink rapidly.
“Yes, the sex was incredible.” Her lips curled slightly. “But I need more than just that, Tyler. You can have sex with anyone. It’s the meeting of souls that counts. Good night, Tyler.”
He felt anger bristling along his spine. “Fine. If that’s the way you see it, fine,” he snapped, haphazardly tucking his shirt into his jeans. “Good night to you, too.”
He stalked out, but even with his temper raging, he took great care not to slam the front door as he left.
Libby gripped the counter so tightly her knuckles were white.
We have a meeting of souls, Libby. That’s what our lovemaking is. There’s a hell of a lot more than just sex between us.
“He didn’t even recognize the words.”
Her whisper hung heavily in the air as she slowly made her way back to bed. Not to sleep, but to grieve over what she had wanted so badly and what she had actually received.
DAMMIT! He sure showed her, hadn’t he? She tried to say that the sex they’d had wasn’t all that important. Then she’d thrown him out! Fine. She could just sleep alone from now on. He wasn’t going to put himself in that situation again.
But then he remembered that flannel nightgown covering her from throat to toes. It looked like some flower-covered sack, but damm, she still looked so sexy with her drowsy features and sleepy eyes. How come he was getting aroused just thinking about her?
Tyler pounded the dashboard in frustration.
“Why did she have to make things so complicated?” he growled, pressing down harder on the accelerator. Then he eased off. The last thing he wanted was a ticket for speeding.
He parked his truck in the garage and walked into the house.
Tyler grimaced when he noticed the message light blinking madly on his answering machine. He had a pretty good idea who’d left messages, but hell, he’d always been a glutton for punishment.
“Tyler, baby, I’m sorry if I said something wrong tonight. Come on, sweetie, talk to your Renee.”
“Tyler, honey, are you really mad at me? It was just that that woman was making eyes at you and I was jealous. Tyler?”
“Tyler, don’t be mad at me. In fact…” she paused, her voice lowered to a seductive purr “…why don’t you come on over so we can make up?”
“Damn you to hell, Tyler Barnes! No one treats me like this. You are slime! Do you hear that, you bastard?”
Tyler winced at the earsplitting shriek coming from the answering machine. He quickly shut it off.
“I’m surprised she didn’t blow out all the circuits,” he muttered, heading for the bedroom.
His usual practice was to take a shower before going to sleep. This time he just stripped off his clothing and climbed into bed. Libby’s scent was still on his skin and he decided he liked it. A lot.
“I’m not giving her another thought,” he muttered, punching his pillow into a pleasing shape and burrowing into it. “Not one more thought.”
Except, as he fell asleep, he remembered just how sweet she tasted.
IT HAD TAKEN LIBBY most of the morning just to get out of bed. She huddled under the covers and stared at the wall.
I’m surprised you’re not jumping up and down with happiness.
“Oh sure, I’m just ecstatic.”
Sarcasm, dear Libby?
Her upper lip curled. “Sarcasm is the least of it. Let’s just say the man was happy because he’d had the best sex ever.”
Matthias’s figure wavered in shadow, then appeared in front of her.
“Oh dear. I’d say he didn’t choose the right words.”
She glared at him, but along with her anger her expression revealed sorrow and pain.
“I don’t care what I’m supposed to do. I don’t care what he’s supposed to do. I want to go back.” Tears caused her voice to come out a bit fuzzy.
Matthias leaned back in his chair, pressing his fingertips together. “Do you truly want to go back to an empty life?”
Those same tears burned her eyes. “I didn’t have an empty life.”
“Didn’t you? Libby, you had a husband you ignored, a baby you mourned to the point of obsession, a family you pushed away. Tell me, what else did you have back there?”
She looked away. She refused to meet his eyes in the face of the logic he’d laid out before her.
“And what do I have here? A man who’s not my husband, no baby and no family.”
“I would say that you could return, but here you seem to be making more progress in finding out what really matters to you.”
She still looked away. “And if I go back, Tyler will probably end up with Renee Carter and all she’ll do is make him miserable,” she whispered.
“You have so much love to give, Libby. Open yourself up to the world around you. Remind yourself it isn’t a crime to have another child.”
Libby swallowed the lump in her throat. When she looked up again, Matthias was gone. The quiet of her apartment was suddenly too much for her. She went off to shower and dress.
“HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT OUT with Bonnie and Gary?” Cyn asked the moment Libby stepped outside. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
She should have known she wouldn’t be able to quietly sneak off. Her first horrified thought was that Cyn had seen Tyler’s truck parked near the garage, a spot that at least wasn’t visible from the street. The last thing she needed was any negative gossip from neighbors. But she didn’t want her landlady thinking the worst of her, either.
Cyn’s open, friendly smile didn’t intimate that she had noticed Tyler’s truck.
“What are you doing?” Libby stared at the many boxes Cyn had piled outside the open garage.
“Getting out the Christmas decorations.” Cyn put one box on top of another. “I usually get them out right after Thanksgiving, but I’m a week late.”
“I didn’t realize December was already here,” Libby murmured, looking into one open box and seeing a pair of plastic candles that were obviously meant to be set up outside.
“It does creep up fast, doesn’t it?” Cyn piled a stack of candy canes. “I line the walkway with these,” she explained. “I’ve always loved the holiday season.”
Libby studied the older woman’s vivid green fleece pants and tunic top. A bejewelled Christmas tree was pinned to one shoulder.
The last thing Libby wanted to think about was the holidays. Except, deep down, she could feel a thread of excitement curling upward.
“What will you have the children do for their holiday pageant?” Cyn asked. “Miss Regina always puts on a wonderful pageant for the parents. Each class always does something special.”
“I guess I’ll decide on Monday.” Libby looked at all the boxes, a little chagrined to have forgotten about the coming holiday. “Would you like some help?”
Cyn shook her head. “I love doing this myself. Gary will be over later to put the lights on the house.”
Libby stared at several boxes marked Christmas Lights.
“All of these lights go up?”
Cyn nodded. “Wait until you see them tonight.”
“I’m sure no one in town misses seeing them.” Libby grinned as she climbed into her car.
“Have a good day out, dear.” Cyn waved her off.
Libby wasn’t sure what she would do with her free day, but she knew she wasn’t going to stay in the apartment. Instead, she headed for the mall on the edge of town.
The parking lot was already decorated with garlands and twinkling lights, and inside, children’s voices were singing about Santa coming to town.
The holiday Libby had been dreading since Labor Day was almost here. It appeared no matter where Matthias sent her, she wouldn’t be able to escape Christmas.
“Don’t be a Scrooge, Libby,” she muttered to herself as she noticed teenage elves keeping small children in line as they waited their turn to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas.
It wasn’t long before Libby felt herself fall into the holiday mood. Memories came back to her as she stood in front of one of the department stores.
She’d gotten Tyler’s Christmas gift here last year—a woodworking saw he’d hungered for. She’d had Sara’s picture taken professionally for special photos for family members. She’d also bought many gifts for their baby, even ones she wasn’t old enough to enjoy.
Libby had purchased for her mother a gold chain with a little-girl charm holding Sara’s birthstone, telling Marie she hoped there would be more birthstone charms to add to the chain. So her father wouldn’t feel left out, she’d found a money clip that she could add Sara’s birthstone to and had engraved on it Grampa’s Little Darlings. Her mother had cried when she opened her present: Even her father had a few tears in his eyes when he held his money clip.
A rather, more painful memory suddenly materialized in Libby’s mind.
The day had been too beautiful for a funeral. The sun shone brightly overhead. Flowers bloomed everywhere and were in evidence as a floral blanket on the tiny white coffin.
Libby had felt so numb that day she hadn’t truly noticed her mother crying into a handkerchief. Her father had stood stiffly behind Marie’s chair, his eyes damp with tears. Her sister and brothers appeared to be in shock, as if they couldn’t believe the reason for their presence. And Tyler…he was the one who’d broken her heart. He stood beside her looking uncomfortable in his dark suit, his jaw tight with suppressed emotion and his eyes dark. He’d held on to Libby’s hand with a grip that left bruises on her pale skin.
Why had it taken her this long to realize he had hurt as much as she did that day? How could she have ignored him the way she had?
She really had hidden herself away from everyone. She didn’t want to have people pitying her for being unable to keep her baby alive. She didn’t want to hear them talk in soft whispers about what a shame her loss had been. Or to listen as they told her she could have more children. Now she realized Matthias had been right. She hadn’t allowed herself to heal, to let the love of others help her to heal.
All right, Matthias, you made your point.
I never doubted you, my dear. You’ve made another large step. Be proud of yourself.
“Look who’s here!”
Libby spun around at the sound of a familiar voice…and froze.
Marie Bennett was hurrying toward her, and she wasn’t alone.
Oh Daddy! she cried inside, as she watched a gray-haired man walk toward her.
“Nathan, this is Libby Douglas. She’s the teacher who’s taking Bonnie’s place at Miss Regina’s,” Marie told her husband after greeting Libby with a quick hug. “Libby, this is my better half, Nathan.”
Libby forced a smile to her lips and took her father’s outstretched hand.
“I’m very pleased to meet you, Mr. Bennett.”
“Call me Nathan, please,” he told her. “How are you liking our town so far?”
“I’m still getting used to all the changes,” she said truthfully.
“I love it when everyone starts decorating for Christmas,” Marie said to Libby. Her face was alight as she looked around the mall. “Starting next weekend, the high school chorus is out here every Sunday afternoon to sing. You should come and hear them.”
“I’ll try.” Libby attempted not to be too obvious as she studied her father.
Was he watching his diet? Taking the walks the doctor insisted upon? She used to goad her father into walking with her, but then she remembered the last time they’d walked together was with Sara in the stroller. Nathan Bennett loved to play the proud grandpa while everyone oohed and ahhed over the baby.
He looked a bit heavier than she remembered. And a little tired.
“We’re off to get some shopping done,” Marie told her. “It was so good to see you again.” She hugged Libby once more. “Please give Cyn my best.”
“I will,” she promised. She felt forlorn the moment the couple left her.
Any idea of shopping seemed unappealing now. All the people she wanted to buy for didn’t know her anymore. Libby wandered around aimlessly until she reached the movie theater. She checked the times and discovered a comedy would be showing in fifteen minutes.
“Oh sure, let’s just go to the show,” she muttered, digging out her wallet and purchasing a ticket.